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Cherry-Lei's avatar
Thank you, I will read this, as soon as I get to my computer. It's kinda sad cellphones can't read pdfs on the web. 

I hope I learn something from this
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
Yeah, I'd imagine that would be a tad difficult to read a pdf fro anyways :) I hope you do as well.
Wynmacher's avatar
This is a fantastic read! It's really great to see the evolutionary process too.

This has inspired me to go back and edit the hell out of my own story.

Thanks for sharing!
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
Awesome! Thanks for the encouraging feedback :) And I wish you the best of luck on your story.
Wynmacher's avatar
Thanks, good luck with finishing yours too :)

Who knows, maybe one day we could find each other's stories on the same shelves. haha
ninth-00's avatar
Oh this is awesome! Thank you for putting this up in a single link so I can flip through it easily. You're tips and tutorials have been very helpful and I'm finally moving on with my stories!
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
I'm glad to hear it :) Keep at it!
Eszies-Eszie's avatar
As a fanfiction writer, I mostly put the latest chapter on the internet when I had just finished it. 

Since some time ago, I decided to rewrite some of my old stuff and this is definitely recognizable. :) I see the same stuff happening and still discover new ways to write.  

Plus I think it's a nice way to see your own story evolve like this. 
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
haha, yes, a lot of these problems are pretty universal :)
Watchful-Bystander's avatar
"The next major change was that I had written quite a few tutorials about my experiences. Writing my tutorials and answering questions actually made me think about every little thing I was doing. Like before, I wasn’t able to immediately implement all of this knowledge. I knew the information and I even recommended it to others; but I just couldn’t figure out how to do it in practice. . ."

I understand the feeling, all too well unfortunately, but seeing each of these drafts and your pointing out specific errors that can verily be translated to reviewing my own work is just so helpful. It is also likely very obvious to yourself, but you've improved this story so much.

I've also taken your advice on leaving aside projects close to the heart in order to take up work on other novels in order to better my experience and, having done various other works, the magnitude of how many plot holes are in my original project is just... well, they stand out a lot. Which is good, I think. Good that I can see possible improvement. Anyway, thank you so much for posting this!
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
Thank you :) I'm very happy to hear that showing the process can be helpful. Just keep at it and take your time, though. You'll get there. 

Seeing the errors in your older work is the surest sign that you have grown as a writer, though it can feel a little like growing pains. I'm glad to hear that your abilities have improved by so large a degree. 
TheWarOfTheRing's avatar
Thanks so much for posting this! It was fascinating to see the evolution of this story.

Hope you don't mind if I do some light critiquing, but there are a couple things I'm confused about. First of all, why does Billy almost scream and Jodie goes ballistic against him? Did Billy do something earlier in the story to justify Jodie being mad at him? Also, why do you mention Mrs. Darsan looks "like she could have been the monster who was going to eat them"? It seems like you're trying to make her seem threatening, but I don't understand why. 

Anyway, fascinating read! It'd be great if you could do something like this for one of your other unfinished stories, but only if you think you have the time to do so.
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
You're welcome :) I'm glad you enjoyed. 

Your critiques are valid.

Billy is just about to scream because he's being attacked by Jodie. There is a history between the two of them, which you would see in earlier chapters. But the primary reason for Jodie's behavior is that his head was specifically messed with before he went unconscious. He's about as psychologically volatile as Sam, but his instinctive way of dealing ith it is to rage out instead of shutting down. 

I will look at that section that you mentioned about Mrs. Darsan. It looks like you likely have a valid point. Thank you for pointing this, and the other things, out to me.

I hope to do some more :) It will take me some time, though.
TheWarOfTheRing's avatar
That makes sense, about Jodie and Billy. 

You're welcome :)

I wish you the best of luck in completing this story!
Mythrin's avatar
Wait, how do you download this?
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
There should be a download button on the upper-right corner part of the page. Alternatively, you can act like you're going to print it. But instead of selecting a printer, select "save as pdf". 
Mythrin's avatar
Ah, thanks.  I'm having trouble finding webpage buttons as of late.  Odd.
Duperghoul's avatar
Neat that we can download this
DesdemonaDeBlake's avatar
Yeah, I thought maybe people might want to print it out to make notes. Or else download to have time to read it. It's rather long.  
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