Emotions Ch.1/2“I’m sure my brother didn’t talk to you about his past now did he?”Looking up I sigh at the girl in front of me. Her long brown hair and eyes to match are staring at me trying to look at who I really am. After a few silent moments I speak up, “Yeah, he told me about Kate. About how she was abusive and used alcohol to keep him with her. How she would claim he beat her. That’s why he’s living at home with all of you.”“So you get it why he’s scared?” she asks this and I don’t know where to pinpoint the type of tone she’s using. “Why he’s scared? Fuck, I’m scared. Though finding out that he wants to end it cause his relationship status says single is a bit different. Then I tell him that I’m here for him if he wants to talk. That we should talk. That we need to talk even if we're used to being on our own. I get an ‘I'll think about it.’ You know what fuck you and fuck him. If he sent you here to do your dirty work he can just kiss my ass cause I want nothing to deal with him. I dove headfirst into that relationship and gave my all, and what did he do?”I grab my wallet and place a couple of bills down not noticing just how much I did. I grab my jacket and walk right out of there. What the hell did I do to deserve this? How did this go all wrong? I have spent my life with my emotions being played with I thought maybe…. Maybe I had found someone who wouldn’t fucking do that to a person. 6 months ago I knocked on the door and no one answered. I look at the hand of the little boy I’m helping take home since that’s apparently what I do now. I sigh in relief when the door opens and I’m faced with a half-asleep man who looks like he’s half dead. Though still in that state I take in a quick look that he’s pretty cute. His eyes are downcast so I don’t see them in the brief moment I have. As he opens the door enough to let the boy inside and shuts it before I can say anything. It was a couple of days later I realized that I had him for a while now as a friend on Facebook when he ends up messaging me. He said I look familiar and I simply replied, ‘Yeah, did the door to the face leave a mark.’ he spent forever and ever apologizing about all of that. I didn’t know that you spend that long simply messaging someone. I was surprised and happy it felt like we connected so easily. “Stiles,” I snap my head up looking to see my dad standing in my door. “Are you still hung up on that boy son?”“Dad, just drop it alright. He gave up on me and that’s all to it. He didn’t want to work on whatever we had so he kinda just ended it without much of a goodbye. I don’t need you getting into my business. As you said before you always seem to forget how old I am now.”“You lucked out if anything on his police report is true.”I bite my tongue so I don’t defend him there’s nothing I can do. I don’t need to throw his dirty laundry all over the place no matter how tempting it is. When it seems that I have nothing to say dad simply walks away probably to change out of his uniform and catch up on some sleep. Dad has met him. Hell with Roscoe in the shop and finding it more relaxing to have a night in than anything. 4 months ago It took about 2 months for us to finally spend any time together. With being busy with work and not driving it’s hard to go out. Plus no offense to people, but I hate people. He mostly would invite me to crowded events. Plus for some reason my immune system like to get me sick like no fucking other. He simply came over to hang out as friends might I say. I didn’t think it’d mean much. We mostly watched a movie and chatted about little pieces of nothing it seemed like. After he left we both stated that there was at least a bit of a romantic interest in each other. So it’s not a surprise that a couple of days later after we hang out again that he had asked me out officially. Isn’t that nice when people do that? So we spent even more time just being. Fuck I slap myself on the face as I look at my computer at the one social media site to see that he’s still online. Fuck, like I care right…. Fuck, then why does it hurt so much like this. I wipe my cheeks trying to ignore the tears cause I’m a fucking adult and I can handle my feelings even after someone stepped all over them. I start filling out papers for school and work. I sigh when I realize that one of my moles is to be removed cause it’s getting odd. It’s a bit annoying being covered head to toe. Maybe then I’ll be more focused on the physical pain than the emotional…. That’s fucking bullshit. I open my messenger and simply stare at my last message to him. The ‘okay’ to his ‘I’ll think about it.’ Would it be weird if I message him to tell what I truly think of his whole I need to think about it? Fuck him. You know if our time didn’t mean anything then fuck him and fuck these feelings that are sitting on my chest. I shake my head again snapping myself from my thoughts. Stop it, Stiles. Even though you don’t have your answer after lil more than a day you can handle this. You can deal with all of this…. I feel bad enough that I’m wondering if there is a monster under my bed that will eat me…. Maybe then this can go away. I’m at work helping as always setting out food and snacks hoping none of my coworkers ask about the boy I’ve been seeing. Which is all good for me since I don’t want to talk about him….. Yet, why once again am I thinking of that bastard? He posts shit to his story and makes it seem like nothing happened. That nothing is wrong. Do I mean anything? Am I nothing? I mean my coworker did say I get around, as a joke, but still…… Fuck my life.
That Blew Ch-2/23 months laterThough Derek and I called that fight a few months ago a bump in our relationship and all. It still stunted our relationship and even sent it back a bit. I mean we were practically living together when I’m home from Berkley, while now I’ve been in my old high school bedroom. We used to have sex whenever we got together, but we haven’t breached that much less going to second base. “Derek, do you hate being with me?”I hear coughing as soup goes down the wrong pipe, “No. Never. Even after all this time I’m more so punishing myself. I keep having these nightmares where I hurt you physically and mentally when we had that fight. When I wake up and find an empty bed I tell myself that I’m better off alone cause then I can’t hurt again.”I sigh as I look down at my soup and grilled cheese, “Derek….” I’m stuck on something to say to that little bomb, “You do not deserve that. I miss waking up to you. I miss falling asleep in your arms. When we do movie nights it’s the closest thing that I get to that. I miss kissing you like that made everything right in the world. Sure, the soft kisses are nice, but I miss the ones filled with heat and passion. I wonder if you still are attracted me... Much less love me. Cause trust me I’m going crazy cause I love you and I’m scared.”Derek’s gaping like a fish as he looks at me, “I do love,” he says that so quickly I barely understand him. He clears his throat, “I do love you. Damn, I love you so much. I had a talk with your dad in maybe bringing some of your things back to my place and a few other things.”“Back to your place. You mean moving back in?”He shrugs, “Only if you want to. If anything we could try sleepovers.”God how do I love this man. He’s so cute when he’s flustered and unsure. “I want to move back in with you. Like I said I miss you. Though what did you mean by other things? What else did you talk to dad about?”“Umm…. Well, I might have kinda…. Gotten… him to give me something for you.”“Given you something for me? I’m confused. What do you mean?”“Umm… Derek looks around the cafe that we are having lunch in as he shakes his head, “I’ll tell you tonight at the Town Picnic.”“Oh man that’s tonight I totally forgot. Okay, so when is your lunch over. In a little bit, but I want to make sure that I’ll see you right when I get off shift. I’m done at 3 today cause technically I’ll still be working the picnic even if I’m off the clock.”I smile as I leaned across the table pulling Derke into a kiss. We kiss each other leaning over the table not caring being in public. Truthfully the town has been supportive even with the couple assholes. I mean Miss Jenkins brings me sweets all the time to talk to me about my handsome policeman. I never thought I’d feel comfortable talking about my sex life and recent lack of it with an 80-year-old woman. Though it was weird at first. “Alright. Just meet me at the park. I’m helping set up again. So I’m not sure if I can make it to the station with that on schedule. I will need my strong wolfman to carry a few things by then.”Derek gives me a dazzling smile as he stands up, “That can be arranged. Message me about what you think about moving some of your things over.” I feel my breath stop as he leans over kissing me again before he stands up straight, “I’ll see you later, love.”I feel a goofy smile race my lips. I quickly pull my phone out and think about how to tell Derek that I want to move back in full time at least until I get pulled back into grad school. I mean I said I wanted to move back in, but I’m sure he thinks that I need to think on this. I stare at my phone and decide that I’ll tell him tonight.To think that Beacon Hills Park would be this busy is amazing. It's great to see that the town will come together to support our Law Enforcement like this. I wave to Talia as she passes. She waves back even though things are still a bit strained between us. Mostly cause she knows I was right. I smile when I feel hands gently and softly cover my eyes, “Guess who?”“I’m not sure… Chris Hemsworth,” I answer jokenly. I smile when I’m turned around to see a playful pout on Derek’s lips, “Nope. Though I see where your heart lies.”I shake my head as I wrap my arms around his shoulders, “Well the man is straight and married. Though truthfully I think I have more of a thing for dark hairy werewolves that eyes shine almost every color.”I watch a confused and delight look pass Derek’s face as he kisses me.“You know this is still getting used to seeing,” I hear dad say. I laugh as I turn around to pull him into a hug, “I know. I mean being kissed in public is a bit new for us dad.”Dad’s smile falls for a few seconds before it disappears, “Here you go, Derek. Everything else is all set up for ya,” dad says as he hands a small bag over to him. I look between them as I ask, “What is it?” I try to look in the bag. Dad laughs as Parish appears, “So the favorite couple in town, how will you spend the party?”I give Parish a look glad that the hellhound made up with Derek wither easily especially when he heard what had happened between us. Let’s say we both got a fatherly talk from him and dad on separate occasions. Which was weird, but oddly endearing. Derek gives him a scolding look before he sighs, “You know what Parish I think Stiles and I are gonna grab some drinks. We’ll see you later.”As we walk away I hear a small laugh from Parish and Dad, “That was a bit rude, Derek.”“Well he’s being an ass,” Derek grumbles. “Okay, if that’s what you want to call being an asshole than I’m 1 to.” I get a look before Derek shakes his head, “Nope. You are a god sent.”I can’t help the blush as Derek throws my words from this morning right back at me. You’d think you’d grow tired of the town picnic and everything after how many years, but each year there’s always something amazing happening. I mean this is where I met Derek when I was a kid trespassing seeing him again does not count. Though I’m surprised that the only proposal that’s happened here was my parents. The band this year is better even as they stop as the mayor, dad, and Derek's dad walk onto the stage. “This is an amazing time for all of us to come together as we always do. We’ve had a tough last couple years, but with our hardworking policeman and firefighters we’ve had one of our best years in a long time.” I watch as Derek’s dad walks up to the podium. “I’d like to say that I’m glad that the town in the last few months have come out as supportive of both Noah and my sons as they come out with their relationship even if that had a bit of a rocky start. Noah and I want to thank you all.”Dad smiles as he walks up beside him, “That’s right. Thank you for standing up for our sons and their relationship even though we have a few townspeople who think differently. Before we call this to an end for the band can start up again I’d like to invite Derek Hale up to the podium.” I watch as Derek stiffly nods as he walks up the stage to face my father. “Derek, you are a fine policeman though in recent events you did make a fool of yourself so the department, but even in light of that I’d like to happily say that you’ve proved yourself time and time again as a huge support for our station and our community so we thank you.” I watch as dad pins something to Derek’s shirt. I watch as Derek smiles softly before he steps to the podium, “Thank you, Sheriff. This means a lot to me. I’m glad that you trust me to protect our town and to be with your son. I’d just…” Derek seems to be lost for words so I slowly make my way onto the stage to take his hand. He smiles at me as he looks me in the eyes and it seems like he only sees me. He slowly pulls me close to him. “I’d like to ask you, Stiles, that in light of making a fool of myself and then some if you would think of marrying a man like myself?”I look at him confused as he moves to the side a bit as he kneels down pulling out a small ring box from his pocket. When he opens it I feel the tears falling as I easily recognize my mother’s own engagement ring that was dad’s grandmothers. “These last few months with everyone knowing just how important you are to me would be enough if you said no, but if you say yes you’ll easily make me truly lucky to even have a glimpse of a long future with you.”I wipe my eyes as I hold my hand out to him, “Put the ring on, you jerk. I can’t believe you asked me in front of the whole town. Did you think I’d say no… Oh god, I’d never say that. I’m saying yes… so put my mother’s ring on me.”I watch Derek laugh as he slips the ring onto my finger. I pull him up to give him a kiss, “You know now you really have to move my things back to your apartment,” I whisper into his ear. He chuckles ignoring what seems to be cheers of the town. Though I can’t hear or see past Derek as he pulls away slightly to pull my hand up to his lips with one of the happiest and sweetest smiles he’s ever directed my way.He slowly leads me from the stage as he has me sit down by him at a table. I smile as I look at our hands, “You know your an asshole. You know I had this plan to ask you to marry me on our anniversary if you agreed to come out on our relationship before our whole fight. So you’re an asshole thinking that you beat me in this. I don’t have the ring on me, but believe me, as soon as I have a chance you are gonna have to wear the ring that I had picked out for you.”“You know I’ll wear it and show it off like I’m sure Mrs. Jenkins is gonna ask ever so many questions though I’m sure she’ll miss you being next door.”“Oh, I’m gonna have to set up a visiting schedule with her. I’m sure you can come with she’ll love that.”“I’m sure I can try to do that as much as I can. She’s a sweet woman.” Derek answers. I smile as I look at him, “What would you have done if I said no?”“Well, then I’d hope you’d still at least want to stay in a relationship with me until I could ask you again.” He answers looking a little sheepish. “You are adorable,” I tell him as I leaned over to give him a kiss. “You love it.”“You know I do because I love you.” I watch a shocked and happy smile grace Derek’s face. I smile right back at him as he says, “I love you, too. My little Mischief.”“Oh, you know you do. So let’s not have a big fight gain cause that blew and so did the healing.”Derek has a serious look on as he nods his head, “Damn right that it did. Though can’t promise that I won’t piss you off again.”I think for a second as I nod my head, “Yeah, me too. Let’s just not stay angry like we had.”“Deal,” Derek answers kissing me gently as if sealing it with a kiss.
That Blew- Ch.1/2“Hale, what are you doing here? It’s your day off,” Parish’s voice carries far enough to the back that I can hear him in my dad’s back office, “What here to see your sister?”I look around the corner to see the hottest man alive Deputy Derek Hale, even with a look of disgust, looking at Parish as if he told him he liked mayo with his PB&J“Fuck no,” Did he just swear, “Why? I see Laura at home why the hell would I want to see her,” It’s oddly adorable seeing Derek’s face twisted as if I just shoved a lemon along with salt & vinegar chips that he hates so much in his mouth. I sigh as I sit back down wondering when dad will get back in so I can focus on him and not the man in the other room. So what the 2 of you had a fight? Derek wanted to keep it a secret until it was more concrete. I mean your dad is your boss and your college student son. Yet you’ve been seeing Derek since you confessed to him after you turned 18…. 3 years ago. I’m sure dad would be upset that his son was seeing one of his deputies that is 7 years older than him, but I’m an adult with my own place to live. A place that it seems that Derek never wants to go to…. Especially when dad is well not busy with a mountain of paperwork. I hit my head as I open my notebook and pore over notes that are for a class with a test coming up…. 2 weeks from now.I hear my ears perk up when I hear Derek say to Parish, “Is the Sheriff in?”“Yeah, though Stiles is in his office,” Parish tells him. I feel my breath being sucked into a vacuum and I can’t breathe no you idiot don’t tell the man I just broke up with that I’m here. I don’t want to see his perfect face or anything near me for a long while. Dad walks into my office gives me a look sighs as he says, “Who do you need me to shoot, son?”“Shoot? Why would you need to shoot anyone?”“I don’t know, son, why don’t you tell me?” my father gives me a look that says I already know most of your secrets so just spill. “It’s nothing just broke something that wasn’t going anywhere.”Dad gives me a look, “Wait? Since when have you been seeing someone?”I hold up 3 fingers and let him decide what that all means. I hear dad sigh and I look up to see him rubbing his face, “Look Stiles I know I’m not a good father. Hell, I’m sure if your mother was still alive she’d probably kick my ass all the way to the OOrt Cloud.” I feel a smile tug at my lips knowing that dad remembered some astronomy facts that he learned just for mom. “Your mother bless her soul would have just sat you down and asked you which boy or girl you liked when you came out as bi. I simply told you, you weren’t. So why didn’t I meet this mystery person? Is it cause it was a guy?”I look up at him and I don’t know what to say. I mean Stilinski’s aren’t known for healthy ways to deal with emotions I mean look at us after mom died. How do I even tell him anything?“What the hell do you mean that I’m not to bother them, Parish?” Derek’s voice carried even inside the office where we can tell he's upset the man is. Dad looks at me surprised as I am with what we are hearing. “No, I don’t think I need to go to the sober tank. I…. I just need to talk to the Sheriff. I need to tell him that I,” there’s a loud crashing noise and before dad can say anything I race out of his office. I find Derek on the ground with what looked like a head wound even if his werewolf genes took care of it we’ll still need to take him to get looked at. “Parish, what the hell happened?”“Don’t know, sir. Derek came in not that long ago and I tried to joke with him and he wouldn’t have any of that. He wanted to see you, but when I said that Stiles was in there with you and we should leave the 2 of you alone he got mad. Thank god, Laura is out on call right now.”It’s a couple of hours before Derek wakes up and most if not all of his family is wedged into his hospital room worried at why the werewolf had not woken up. The doctor sighed for probably the millionth time, “As I said before Derek is more still passed out as you all simply put it cause of exhaustion, not the hit he took to his head when he went down.” He leaves the room and I hit my head against the wall wondering where my dad had run off to this time to leave me here. I decide to leave the room, simply because I have no place in it. As I told Derek last night when I left his apartment, ‘we’re finished.’ I don’t listen to the rush of voices in the hospital halls as I find a place far enough from the room that I feel like I can let some of the emotions that I’ve been trying to hold in settle a bit more. I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting here in silence when I hear the cushion next to me crackle. I look up to see Laura looking at me with sad eyes that tell me that she knows… if not all at least enough. “So…. Derek came into the station drunk off his ass, huh.”I shrug, “I guess so. All I know is what I heard…. And smell I guess when we got close enough to him that is.”“You know he called me last night crying,” she tells me voice low barely enough to be a whisper, “Said he thinks he made a mistake. That he had hurt someone he loved again. Except for this time it cut him deeper than anything. I know you know his past love stories so I won’t say anything, but,” she moves closer to me so her mouth is at my ear, “the way you made my brother into this kind of mess you’re lucky I don't rip you to shreds.”I scuff as I look at her, “Yeah, well I didn’t treat him like a dirty little secret now did I,” I damn near shout as I stand up glaring at her.She stands up face merely an inch away from mine, “You say that. Yet he’s knocked out cold from being up all night worried about you. Worried that he truly screwed himself over on this one. He’s the man that hasn’t cried since he was 15. This is the man that spent all last night crying and drinking babbling about how much of an idiot he is.”“Well, he is a fucking idiot. So yay for him he got something right,” I spit right at her. I know I made a mistake when she shifts into her beta form and slammed me into the wall. Though her eyes are gleaming a bright yellow I don’t feel any kind of fear if anything it’s more acceptance. I hear a whimpering sound and the other Hales causing an uproar in Derek’s room. Laura lets me go as she runs back to her brother’s room. I rub my throat a little bit wondering if I deserve this kind of pain. “What happened?” I hear dad ask as he appears out of nowhere.I shrug as I turn around to leave only to hear Derek shout, “No!” as if he was in a great deal of pain. I want to run to him to try and comfort him, but we both hurt each other too much in the last 24hrs to do that.I close my eyes tight as I look down the hall at the elevator deciding if I should just make a break for it. Until I hear someone shout, “Strap him down or he’ll hurt someone or worse himself.” the thing is I know if Derek would hurt someone it’d hurt him far more than anything he could do to himself would. I bite my lip as I slowly turn around and make my way to his room. When I reach the door I see Derek’s sisters and mother holding him down to the bed as the smell of wolfsbane wafts into the room. I can’t help the feeling of fear and guilt wash over me as I realize that the ropes and tranquilizers that are using all have a high dose of wolfsbane in them. All of which will cause him a great deal of pain. Pain that he does not deserve. No matter how mad I am at him he will never deserve this kind of treatment.“Stiles, what the hell did you do that for?” Cora’s voice shouts as I look over to see the doctor on the floor and the needle meant for Derek in my arm. Well shit, I guess it’s really not our day good thing is he didn’t push it. I pull it out as I sigh. Leaning my head against Derek’s bed. He stops thrashing and trying to fight off his family instead his sounds turn into pained whimpers like that of a hurt or scared child and shivers as if something scares him. “You were going to let him put that needle in him? Hasn’t Derek been in enough pain or better yet do you want him to die?” I shout at them. Talia is the first to answer, “What are we to do, Stiles? He was thrashing and whimpering like something was causing him pain and when Laura came back into the room it just got a whole lot worse.”Did Derek hear or have an idea on what went on in the hall? Did he know I was going to run away from him after all this time?\“So what Talia? Use your alpha voice and calm him down. Not inject and tie him up with enough wolfsbane you might as well kill him,” I shout in her face. Great, I know what’s going to happen in 3...2...1… Talia grabs my arm and squeezes, “You have no idea what you are talking about? You are not one of us.”“You might as well be human. It’s not the first time Derek wallows in his pain as no one takes notice of it. I mean seriously Talia he came into the station drunk off his ass. He started a fight with Parish… his partner. In what universe does any of that sound like Derek? In what universe does he seem to be okay?”“You seem to know my son well enough,” she squeezes a little more and I’m sure I’m going to bruise in the morning. Before anything can be said her hand is pried off my arm by the 2 Hale sisters as Derek’s whimpers turn into cries of pain. I hear my dad’s voice carry well with that authoritative tone I know so well, “What the hell are you doing to my son, Talia? From what I heard he’s right for the most part. You never seemed to know your son all that well especially after that incident 12 years ago.”Derek’s cries gain volume and even the level of pain. I sigh as I sit at his bedside combing through his hair like I did when we first started sleeping together. I had quickly learned that even werewolves can get PTSD, especially from the lives that they live. If anyone would more than likely have it, it's him. I sigh as I look at him, “You know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean those things I said the other night. I was just so upset and you just couldn’t get it through your thick head once again. A fight we’ve had since day one. A fight we ignore thinking it’d keep us both happy. What a pair we make?” Derek’s whimpers stop and a sigh escapes his lips. “Sorry, I didn’t tell you, dad.”I know he understands the second he sees what’s happening when I hear a huff almost like a laugh, “No wonder he hated when everyone tried to set him up with someone.”I chuckle as I nod my head a wet cry of a laugh escapes me, “He’d always message me right away about how annoying people of Beacon Hills can be. Still to think that we’d spent 3years in a secret relationship was a tough thing to do and truthfully I'm sure I’m more at fault. We didn't want it to affect how you acted around him… though I’d been fighting him, on the whole, coming out with our relationship for a while. It’s just last night I hit his wounds in all the right places.”“You think then that’s alright, to hurt each other that kind of way?” dad asks as he leans against the doorway. I shake my head, “No, it’s not alright. I was the one that wanted to keep a secret cause I had just turned 18, but after that, it just became a habit for us. I’m tired of the secret and I thought Derek was to.” I look at Derek’s face to see that it’s showing distress again as if he’s listening in. “Tomorrow is supposed to be our 3rd anniversary actually cause it was a month after I turned 18. Neither of us knew how to breach the subject of how either of us felt. Both scared for many reasons, all of which were our own.” I stop talking as I look at Derek, “Can you please untie him?”I get a look before I sigh and do it myself giving them a strong look when they move towards the bed. As soon as Derek is free I throw the ropes. I sigh as I look at the sink across the room, but I don’t want to move more from my spot. Relief hits me when dad brings me a wet towel smelling of strong doctor soap. I smile when my hands are wiped down. This will have to do for now. I toss the towel near the ropes when I’m done. I feel a small smile grace when my lips when Derek huffs and moves so he’s holding onto my waist. I smile as I comb my fingers through his hair, but I know he’s having it rough when he starts to sleep talk. “Please don’t leave me. Don’t do this Stiles. I love you.” It keeps to the same theme so I look up after a couple of minutes and everyone seems to get the message. The doctor looks at me before he points to the call button, “If anything happens just shout and push that button.”“Not gonna happen, do, unless Derek needs help,” I tell him with a level and serious voice. I sit there on my phone reading some articles on random things as Derek sleeps. I’m kind of glad that they gave him a wash down when he got here so he doesn’t smell of alcohol, but that he smells of wolfsbane seems to be even worse. I scuff as I read yet another article on our government before I flip to some random funny comic on my phone hoping that will help. “Stiles, you better than read anything political especially with the shit that they are trying to pull lately.” I hear a weak and tired voice say. I look down to see Derek looking up at me with red-rimmed tired eyes. I smile as I push his hair from his face just so I can have something to do, “Yeah, well that’s all there was to read at the moment.”He gets this weird scuff laugh out as he nestles his head in my lap. I barely hear it when he speaks again, “I thought you hated me. I deserve that though.”I shake my head even when I know he’s not looking at me, “Nope, no hate. Anger a little bit still there, but that was replaced with worry when you showed up to the station drunk.” I hear a hiss and I’m sure he’s wincing to, “So your dad gonna fire me?”“Nah, him and Parish are having a talk though about if he wants any actions to be done. I think they will give you the rest of the week off and hope to see you Monday morning. Also, you owe Parish like a giant apology and ass kissing. So get those lips ready to pucker up.”I hear a small grow and whisper, “My lips are only for you.”I feel a small smile startup before I shake my head, “Derek, what the hell were you gonna do?”“I don’t know. I mean I don’t remember much. Shit, my whole everything hurts like no other. Fuck, I’m an idiot.” I nod my head as he rubs his hand over his mouth, “Look I wanted to talk to your dad. I wanted to tell him how I feel for you and that I was an idiot the other night. Sure, we both said things we regret but I sure in hell started most of it. I was afraid how your dad would react and a few other stupid things. I just I’ve never had a public relationship with anyone and that scares me.”I sigh knowing the last 4 women in Derek’s life kinda fucked him over big time. First Paige, Kate, Jennifer, and then what’s her face that fucking sold him to some hunters in Mexico. Good thing 3 is dead, but only 2 truly deserved to die. Paige, I wish she didn’t, but I also can’t help but hate her just a little bit. “I get that Derek. I mean I’ve never been really desired by anyone until you came along. Even when I was underaged you made time to help me out. To help Scott out even though he still doesn’t like you. You think you are a monster, but in truth, you are a god sent. You saved Issac from his abusive father and took him in. Set up for Erica to have the bite to cure her seizures. You gave Boyd friends and family that notice him for the person he is. I know the other night I said something that would say the exact opposite, but I didn’t mean it. Even me you’ve saved me time and time again when no else would, this is not counting monsters and moody pups.”I hear a happy scuff that I love so much, “You are too good for me.”“Well I disagree and you better get used to that. Also, I think dad wants dinner when you get released and welcome you into the family. Though he’s a bit sad he won’t have grandkids.”“You know both Erica and Cora said they’d be surrogates for us whenever we want kids, right?”I laugh as I nod my head, “Yeah, I heard them on my 21st birthday though I was rather drunk from the bar hopping. I think even Lydia volunteered though I think it’s cause Cora did.”“So ... where are we, Stiles? I mean how much did I fuck up?”I sigh as I remember Derek’s words from the other night, ‘I mean you were a good toy, but I think I’ve realized how useless you are.’ “Pretty bad. Nothing that can’t be pulled through, but I don't think I can forget some of those things you said. I mean I hit you about your exes, but I never used anything saying that I was using you even though I wanted to after you did. The most I said was I guess then you only good for sex.”Sitting there on the bed with his head in my lap we find our way curled up together as I seem to fall asleep. When I wake up dad is in the room looking worried and curious, “So?”I shrug looking at him, “I know I’ll need my old room back still, dad. We have a lot of work to do.”
Here with you“I know I said that we could go on a date, but we should probably stop at the hospital to get your hands looked at,” Derek tells me as I swat at him. “I have to ask that story you told me about your dad… is that true?”Slowly, I nod my head as Derek reaches over taking my hand in his, “it was the first birthday after mom died that it happened. Dad still hasn’t really forgiven himself. There are times in the summer where I think he’s checking for scars still. I love my dad more than anything, but sometimes I wish that he understood that I forgave him… though when I was in the past, I will admit there was a few times the thought of running off to see my mom even in the state she was in sounded tempting.”“Why didn’t you?” Derek asks as he peeks over at me and I still wonder how Derek is the 1 driving the jeep.I give a look, “I had all my power and I know that the temptation was too great. I was barely strong enough when I was leaving to fuck Deaton over on everything. I was just afraid what he would do if that happened.”“You really want to hit him, don’t you?” Derek asks with a smile plastered to his lips.“You have no idea. Where are we going anyways?”“Hospital to have Melissa look at you. Though I don’t know if she’s working tonight,” he says as he makes a stop at a stop sign.“No, she has off and said she’d be home for most of the night.”He nods as he makes a change in directions as he makes his way to her home. When we get there, I laugh when he makes a face seeing Scott’s bike. I know how he feels though cause he’s a bit like that, cause when I had told Scott that we shouldn’t leave Derek alone on the anniversary again he ignored me… again. Scott is still a giant dick to Derek for whatever reason.I sigh as I let Derek pull me from the Jeep after he opened the door not letting me use my hands… really. Which I get cause I think the metal cut into my hands a lot more than I thought. I wish I wasn’t so fucking tired from that spell. I didn’t really cast it all myself either. I think…. Or could there be another reason as to why I’m so tired?Derek walks with me to the door and when he raises his hand to knock Scott opens it, “What are you doing here?”“Wow, that’s rude, Scotty. Anyways is your mom home I kind of cut up my hands?” I barely wait as I push past him careful of my hands.Scott’s face scrunches up as he looks at me, “you know I had told you to stop doing spells that deal with using your own blood.” He looks at Derek, “Did you put him up to it?”I roll my eyes as I look at him, “That’s not what happened.”Melissa walks into the room hitting her son on the back of the head as she carries a first aid kid.“So, what did you cut yourself with this time, Stiles? What spell did you do to make yourself tired enough not to heal these?”“Well that is something for another time cause I still have to call Cora.”“You have her memories as well?” Derek asks me.I nod my head as I smile sadly, “She really did love Wizard of Oz.”Derek smiled sadly as he nods his head, “that and the teddy bear that you had won.”Scott is looking between us as Derek is sitting by me with his hand on my back taking the pain. Luckily, he. Doesn't make a comment.Melissa is smiling at us, “It's good to see the 2 of you pull it together. I think Stiles father owes me 20 bucks.”“Which means that Derek and I have money to put down for our date, right?” I ask her.She laughs as she shakes her head, “I don’t think so. Though I’m sure Derek’s betas have a bet going on as well. So, if you want to get money out of someone, I’d try them.”I pout until I feel the tug of stitches being secured and I watch Derek make a face as he watches closely. I sit there thinking at how close Derek always is when I’m being stitched up or even just drained from a spell. Sure, as the years passed, he had started to come closer to the point he’s right by my side. I smile as I lean into him even more trying to ignore the needle going in and out of my hand. When Melissa finishes up, she wraps my hands gently as she looks at Derek and me, “All, finished and I’m sure Stiles will probably heal them when he’s up for it, but until Stiles you are not to use your hands.” I look at her and sigh, but we both know that I’m going to use my hands if I feel like it which is why she said that directly to Derek more than me.I look away from them convincing myself that they aren’t plotting against me. Still as we head out Scott isn’t anywhere in sight, not that I’m surprised by that. He probably ran off to tell Allison about what he saw and what I said. I roll my eyes as I follow Derek out of the house to the Jeep. Smiling gently when Derek places his hand open in the console, I can set my hand in it. I watch as black veins appear on his arm and when I move to pull away, he gently, but firmly grasps my wrist. I finally let him take my pain without fighting mostly cause even without the pain I can feel the tug in my hand.As we pull up to the dinner, I take notice of my dad sitting at a booth with Parish. I look at Derek as I say, “Maybe we should do this another night.”He looks torn as he looks at the window, “Do you not want your dad to know?”“Come on, Derek. I’m 19, I’m a grown adult. I make my own choices. I just don’t want him to ruin whatever this is becoming. Which if I have a say in it, it’ll be forever.”A small shy small graces Derek’s face, much better than the one of fear and doubt a few seconds earlier, “You want me, forever?” he sounds so unsure, but happy at the same time.I scratch at my face gently as I nod my head, “Of course, I would. I mean you are perfect even with parts that many, including yourself, would see as imperfect.”The smile widens as he exits the car and pulls me out, “Well, I guess we’ll have a real first date later. I’ll say that I’m hungry and I want some food. I’m sure you’re hungry as well.”I can’t help the smile that appears on my face as Derek brings me straight to my dad’s table.“John, how are you?” Derek asks as he sits by Parish leaving me sitting with dad.Dad smiles at Derek and gives him a look of joining without asking, “I see my son’s manners have finally gotten to you, Derek. I’m sorry and I thought you were such a nice child. So glad to see that something took it to have you pull your heads from your asses.” Dad looks at me and frowns, “Stiles, what happened to your hands?”“Well I grabbed a piece of scrap metal at the old Hale house and apparently it was jagged.” With a single look I know he wants to know why I was out there much less needing a piece of metal. I look down at my hands not wanting to tell my story cause… I feel someone take my hand and give it squeezes in intervals. I must have started a panic attack. Derek is looking at me worried while dad has a similar face. I sigh as I place my head on conjoined hands forgetting about my injuries. I groan as Derek pulls my hand up and starts to take the pain away.I shake my head, “It was my own stupidity, Derek, just let it be.”He pouts as the veins I can see on his hand disappear, but he doesn’t move his from mine.Dad has a smile on his face, “I guess I should be thankful for whatever it was if it finally had you 2 stops being idiots.”I nod my head, “I might tell you later, but right now I’ll just say magic works in its own way sometimes.”Dad nods his head as he looks at the time, “Well if you would let us out, we have to get back to the station.”I nod as I smile, “Of course, dad. See you later.”**************The ‘date’ last night with Derek was alright, but the idea that I woke up tangled in his arms and legs is amazing. Derek’s head was tucked away in my neck while the rest of him was so wrapped up around me. It’s funny that I know that I move around a lot in my sleep, but the fast that in Derek’s arms I don’t feel the need to move just to snuggle closer to him I groan still feeling tired and lethargic from the time traveling but being in Derek’s arms is making me feel more charged than any other time.I groan when I feel Derek moving as he’s sniffling in my neck. I know he’s truly awake now. “We should go see Deaton. If not about the time traveling, but we do need to restock on some herbs that he has for us.”I groan even more as I bury myself into him, “Even with how mad at him, I am, I don’t want to move from my place.”I feel Derek’s mouth turn into a smile as he says, “Really? Why is that?”I scratch at my face as I bite at my lips, “Well isn’t it obvious? It’s because I get to be with you, in your arms where I feel safe. I feel like I belong. Even when I told myself I hated you. Even when I was in the past and you were a different Derek….” I take a deep breath, “I felt the same as I do now.”“So, would it be bad if I beat you to whole saying it thing?”I lift my head up looking at Derek tilting it to the side, “What do you mean?”“I mean telling you that I love you. Before I had these memories back and with them, I know I love you as you are, Stiles.”I smile as I look at him, “Alright, I guess we should head to Deaton’s. Ugh, I shouldn’t go inside.”“Why?” Derek asks as he kisses the side of my neck.“Cause we both know I want to kill him. Derek, everything would have been different if he didn’t want your memories taken away. You wouldn’t have met, Kate. You…”“That’s a lot of would’ve could've, but also what if. What if you didn’t take my memories? To say anything Stiles all I know is I would have lost someone important to me. Someone that I realized that I was in love with not Paige truly like I was with you back then. With you the idea of having blue eyes was an okay thing. You made the guilt hurt a whole lot less.”“Yup, even with the what if’s I’m gonna kick Deaton’s ass.”“Which is why maybe you should stay outside even if I wouldn’t stop you… maybe after a punch or 2.”I laugh as I try to pull myself from his arms, “Come on, Derek. Let me go I need to get dressed. If we’re to go anywhere.”I hear Derek give out his own groan as he lets unwinds his body from mine. I sigh as I get up missing his touch already like a love-sick teenager. I grab a pair of pants and shirt quickly throwing them on. I toss shirt that I bought purposely on accident for Derek. He lifts it up giving me a light smile before he pulls it on. Still the idea that didn’t check on us last night is relieving cause both of us had stripped down to nothing, but our boxer briefs cause it’s a lot better especially when sleeping next to a werewolf.Derek and I both groan as we reach the veterinary clinic. Derek and I are looking at each other probably coming up with our own chant to keep ourselves calm. I exit the Jeep before I can move Derek is at my side holding my hand. I sigh as I lean my head against his shoulder.“Remember you are not to try to kill Deaton. Maybe maim, but nothing horrible,” He tells me with a telltale sign of smile on his lips.“Well Mr. Stilinski, Mr. Hale, what brings you in today?”“We came to pick up the herbs that you said were in,” I tell him before he can turn away, I throw my hardest punch, “You know what that is for. At least the main thing on the list of hundreds.”I shake my hand out as Derek pulls me to his chest, “Alright, you hit him now let’s get our herbs and leave.”I look up and glare at Derek cause we both know that I want to knock his down and out. Deaton hands us our herbs after a couple of minutes and I can see the patch of darkening skin where a bruise is forming.“Here you go. Also Mr. Stilinski whatever reason you hit me for you know my reason for being is to balance.”I don’t even remember hitting Deaton much less jumping at him knocking him down. Derek is pulling me off of him. He’s holding me close to his chest as a purring hum vibrate from his chest calming me down.“Stiles, are you calm?”I look at Derek as I point at Deaton who seems barely conscious at the moment.“Are you kidding me, Derek? It’s like he said your family didn’t matter. That all that mattered to him was balance, but what does he know could keep that balance. If they lived how does he know what would happen? How would I have known, but all I know is that you would have your family? How did he know if you had a memories of a visitor that changed everything the only person who knew anything about the future was your mother. Yet he had me erase all their memories. He didn’t know anything, yet he had me do that to all of you.” I bite my lip as I feel tears well up in my eyes.Derek nods his head as he kisses my temple holding me close to his chest, “I know, Stiles. How do you think I feel with these memories swirling around only to find out they were replaced cause Deaton saw it fit? Look let’s go and maybe inform your dad and Melissa what happened.”I groan at the idea, but Scott walks in looking confused as ever, “What happened here?”“Deaton got what has been coming to him,” I tell Scott as Derek pulls me back to his chest again.“Deaton pissed Stiles off to put simply. Now I’m going to take him away and you can call your mom to have a look at him.” Derek pulls me from the clinic to the Jeep.It’s been a couple hours since I beat Deaton. Dad is sitting on a seat in front of me at the kitchen table.“Stiles, you realize just how lucky you are that Deaton doesn’t want to press charges against you, right?”I nod my head as I rest it against the table, “Don’t you think I know that dad. I already explained what happened and why I did so.”“A story you probably wouldn’t have told me if you hadn’t beat the daylights out of the town’s only veterinarian. I also know that he is the town's only druid.”“Who needs a druid, dad? The town has me and my magic. The only thing Deaton can be good at is getting a hold of supplies if anything.”“Even with what you’ve told me, does not mean that you have the right to beat a man that badly Stiles. I get your upset, but…”“Dad, the consequences of that is unknown I know, but what Deaton did was unasked for. What he had asked Derek’s mother to do was unforgivable. What would you do if someone asked you do that to me?”I watch dad’s face as we all know that it was bullshit. “Doesn’t mean I’d beat him to a pulp like you had. He’ll be out for a bit so there’s a vet from out of town taking over for him for a few days, if not longer.”“I realize that dad, but he made it seem after a single punch whatever it was for, he had done it for balance,” I more so whine, not even looking up from the floor. I feel Derek rubbing my back and I kinda forgot that he was sitting there with me.My dad sighs and I know he’s rubbing his face, “I feel like we’ve been talking circles for the last couple hours since I got home. Look we can finish this later I just got done with a double and it’s surprising that I’m still awake. We can talk about this at supper over some steaks.”“Of course, sir.” Derek answers, “I’d say about 6- 6:30 I’ll try for a later time so you can more than 6 hours of sleep.”“Thank you, Derek. I’ll say this Stiles gets his protectiveness over those he loves from his mother. She never thought before she acted as well.”“Dad!” I shout wondering if I ever said I love you back to Derek.“Oh, and he got that from me,” dad jokes as he’s heading up the stairs.I groan hitting my head against the table, “Ohh... so now he thinks he can be funny.”“He loves you, Stiles. I mean yeah, he’s spent the last 4 hours talking to you, but realize that he could have been sleeping when he got home. He wanted to understand why you did what you did.” Derek tries to reason as he rubs my back.I sigh as I lean into Derek, but my head stays on the table, “I know. It’s just feeling like I’m a child who can’t do anything right.”“That’s not what he wanted to try to do and you know that. Though I get why he’d be mad would you want to arrest your family.”“He deserved it,” I mutter likes a child.Derek chuckles, “That he might of, but doing that was not the right way to go.”I look up and pout up at Derek and he groans covering my face, “Don’t get me that look.”I try not to smile as I ask, “What look?”“You know what look even before you knew how I felt,” he tells me as he gives me a certain look that I’ve known to read as playful. I stick my tongue out as he says, “I’d put that tongue back in your mouth before I come up with a better use for it.”“That’s not something I want to hear,” I hear Isaac call out as he enters the house.“What are you talking about Lahey? Not talking about how we have to hold a party for these 2 pulling their heads out of their asses,” Erica calls out.I sigh as I lean my head into Derek’s shoulder, “You bit the pups for what reason?”Derek shrugs as he looks at me, “Not entirely sure. Though just wait for when we’re having sex, I’m sure that they’ll be worse.”“Erica would probably ask to watch or something,” I mutter causing Derek to laugh and Erica shout from the other room, “You’re damn right.”I groan as I say, “Boyd finds that sexy.”“Don’t knock it until you try it, Stilinski,” Boyd says loud enough for I can hear him.I start laughing as I take in static Boyd cracking a joke like that, “You know that won’t happen I know for sure that Derek doesn’t like to share and in truth neither do you or Erica.”I hear the wolves laughing as I wrap myself around Derek, “Stiles, let go we need to join them in the living room.”“I want to sleep after getting yelled at for how long,” I mutter in his chest.“Hey, Stiles what is it we hear you beat the shit out of Deaton,” Isaac asks.I hear the front door open Lydia is chatting with Kira and Allison. Jackson, Ethan, and Danny are fighting over something which is annoying since they have triangle going on for a while. I’m not completely shocked that Scott isn’t with anyone. I’m sure he’s busy at the clinic, since Deaton as the town has heard had a slight accident on his way to work. I heard he had his car totaled to go with the story. I’m truthfully not sure why he’s covering up for me anyways, but oh well he owes all of us. I ignore the conversation about Deaton though since it’s a sore spot. I have Derek put in Star Wars the 1st since everyone is Neanderthals and watches the newer ones first. I smile as Cora walks in the door and I grab her hand leading her out of the room letting Star Wars play on.Derek follows us as I bring her into my room where the chest is located. I pull the teddy bear out and show her.“What is that, Stiles? Why does that make me sad?”“If you let me do something really quick it’ll all make sense. Though please don’t be mad about it. What happened is now in the past,” I tell her. I wait for her to nod her head in agreement. Like Derek last night I spell to string her memories to her. I know the spell is complete when she looks at me with a look I can’t distinguish. At least until she’s pulling me into her arms crying.I pull her close, “It’s okay.”She shakes her head, “How Dorthey got back was a bit ridiculous.” I chuckle as she adds, “I could never finish that book thinking Derek left me alone when he read it to me everyday when you were there. We finished that entire series. Why did you take our memories?”“I had to,” I whimper into her chest as she pulls me into a tight hug, “Deaton was going to have your mother take the memories with her claws. I know a spell that would make it less difficult to regain and do less damage to 1’s mind.” “You didn’t stay with us much less told us you were leaving. You promised to say goodbye before you left.”I feel the tears well up in my eyes, “I wanted to, but Deaton showed up that night after Derek and you fell asleep. I didn’t want to leave, but I didn’t belong then. If you haven’t heard about what I had done to Deaton I kind of got some pay back.”She chuckles as Derek wraps both of us into his arms, “Will you stay with us this time?”I laugh, “What do you think? There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”Slowly we find our way downstairs to join watching the movie with the others.It’s a couple hours later everyone is asleep set up in different piles. I’m leaning against Derek a lot like it was all those years ago for him and only the other night for myself.“This moment is all too familiar,” Derek tells me as he pulls me close.“You mean the thousand times that we’re the only ones awake while everyone else is passed out.”“Yes and no… I mean that memory of the last night you were in my home. We were watching movies and…” he stops talking looking at his hands.I look at the other side of me where Cora is curled up holding the teddy bears tight in her arms.“I know Derek, but I meant what I said to Cora upstairs. There is no place I’d rather be. Sure, I feel a lil guilty about not telling her right away, but it was late then the whole Deaton fiasco was a bit much for the day. Though I promise that Here with you is right where I want to be.” I’m holding his face in my hands as he leans forward, but unlike that night I let our lips meet. I smile at Derek, “Here with you is right where I belong forever.”
It finally happened.
I have a Redbubble that actually has art on it. There is only one piece of art on there now but it's Teen Wolf fanart! Sterek even! And it honestly looks great on everything!
I've already bought a notebook and shirt with it.
I'll hopefully be posting more on there soon!
--> www.redbubble.com/people/alexw… <--
|More Journal Entries|