Hey guys, holy crap its been a long long while since Ive updated about anything on here, and I'm sorry about that. Well I'll give you the update for those who still read my profile.
Well 2018 into 2019 could be summed up to the year of death and hard ship for me; I've lost both my grandfathers on both sides of the family. Though its a bit more complicated then that but basically my dad's (not by blood but I call him that and always have) dad finally died after 2 and a half years of fighting dementia and Alzheimer disease. I say finally as dad had gone off work thinking he wasn't gonna survive for long, family had been taking care of him, his wife had gone from being his wife (grandma) to more of his care giver and it was hard cause she was old as he was just about. Grandma basically said "the man I married, died years ago, I was only taking care of his shell"
Then maybe a few months later my mom's (not by blood but I also call her that) ex husband "Papa" died. Now your thinking "He's an ex, who the fuck cares?" Well this man was an incredible man and when it came to my and my brother's childhood, he was very much a constant when it came to taking care of us, and spoiling us on our birthdays, Christmas, etc. He was a wonderful man who remembered holidays and the like. He died of a heart attack, just randomly one day after having a leg removed from diabetes. I will always regret not spending more time with him, I was even thinking about calling him that week, now I'll never get to again, his death I took hard.
Then after multiple visits to the hospital for myself, they finally figured out this tremendous pain in my chest which has be keeled over and feels like a knife in my chest and elephant on my back ISN'T acid reflux, it was Gall stones all this time. My girlfriend (who's a lovely angel named Georgia and has always been a constant in my life and a source of support through all my hard times) takes me to the hospital whenever this sorta shit has gone down with a look of concern on her face, written deep in her features the frustration that is palpable that its taken this long for them to figure something out. Well my surgery was scheduled for the 28th of May and I ended up with two more gall stone flare ups before hand, on the 19th, then the fekking day BEFORE the surgery.
Now we're finally caught up to the present just about: So I got the surgery on the 28th but when they went in to remove my gall bladder they found it inflamed and one of my gall stones jammed somewhere it shouldn't of been which is why every gall bladder flare up has been so brutally extreme whenever I had an attack. My mom and girlfriend both equally frustrated that they couldn't of helped me sooner and sorta just shoot me up with morphine on the days I had the attack even though I had surgery planned. I guess I can agree, would've been great to get this shit out of me sooner. As it stands the fact that my gall bladder was so inflamed they had to be a bit rougher in there so they said my recovery would be rougher as well (yay....)
So currently I'm off work, with 4 incisions in my body where they went in. They had to cut through my stomach muscles to get to the gall bladder then stitch me back up inside. So bending and anything to do with my abs has been an absolute challenge. They gave me T3's which Im not taking; Codine doesn't make me feel that great and I don't like the fact this pain killer stuff can be addicted, so I've been sticking to tylenol extra strength instead. And they gave me some anti-bacterial meds to insure I don't get infected during my recovery. My lovely girlfriend has been taking care of me when she can between job interviews (she got a job that pays better then mine, Im happy for her but jealous!) and home life with her sister's child shes been baby sitting ever since she hit 1 years old.
Let's see what else am I missing. OH I haven't told you guys about my girlfriend have I? So to talk about her I need to go back a bit... So after over 9 years of trying to make it into a real thing and just couldn't Gwen and myself broke up finally. It was a hard decision and I did it at work too, which had me balling my eyes out. I loved her, I still do, but it just wasn't meant to be. One cannot date someone that long in a long distance relationship and not ever meet them. You have to move on, it was one of the hardest decisions of my life.
So feeling lonely and lost I was on POF (Plenty of Fish) which is a dating website. I had a few dates where nothing became of it. Some really really dumb girls, a couple of one night stands. Some girls wouldn't even see me again after the first date cause I refused to have sex with them. I was looking for a relationship, not just a quick cheap fuck. I would've gone on Tinder for that (shots fired!) Anyways I slowly got to the point I was starting to give up, starting to feel like this shit wasn't working, that maybe I was just gonna be stuck alone forever. Then it happened.
Timing is odd, but I feel as though it was a parting gift of sorts. Around the time we had to put down my big dog Ares (A beautiful German shepherd/lab mix) I was just starting to message this lovely woman by the name of Georgia. Her profile picture was hilarious, someone who looked like she was all smiles and bubbly personality, I just had a hunch. She thought at first that I was ignoring her, but then I told her I was going through some hard times, that I had just put down my dog, and she apparently took that as a cue that I had a big heart -which I obviously do right?- so she was attracted to that and wished to meet.
Eventually we did back on October 12th 2017 and we met while I was at work when I was working the gate house. She got to see me in my security guard uniform and she quiet liked that. As for herself, she was dressed up in such a lovely outfit, she had make up on, a smile on her face, a sorta bashful blush, I was attracted to her INSTANTLY. We ended up talking, she was so easy going, so bubbly -my hunch was right- and we just clicked right away. She had told me she mostly only saw a guy once then moved on cause they were usually disappointing or just wanted to fuck. But with me she felt a connection, she wanted to meet again. We almost sorta decided right then and there that we were officially dating cause she never felt that way about someone again. Now here I am over a year and a half later and we're madly in love, both saving up to move in together eventually and her family also likes me
She comes from an old fashioned Italian family, with a father that all the daughters of the family (there's 4 with Georgia being the youngest) Husbands being scared of him. Well didn't I surprise the man -from what I was told- when I spoke with right away when none of the other men in the family would say anything other then "yes sir" and "no sir" and here I was having a conversation with him almost right off the bat (Guess after working in a mental health hospital for 3 years with an unhealthy dose of people trying to kill you to your face sorta gives you a will of steel eh?). But this also meant her family had a good feeling about me right away and as of now supports our decision to move into together. Her mother is a gem who likes to cook and has taught Georgia how to cook extremely well. All her sisters have kids of their own now -2 girls one boy respectively- but no one is pressuring us to have our own -thank god- and they're a lovely family
The real challenge is when her parents meet mine. They haven't met yet and we're still trying to figure out how best to meet them. My mom has a sorta...hm how best to put it... Opinionated personality. Very petty with 1st world problems, meanwhile my dad is more of a big kid but also sarcastic and cynical. I feel as if my dad and Georgia's dad will get along quiet splendidly but my mom is one of those 'either you agree with me, or I don't like what you have to say' sorta people which makes her personality a real challenge. Anyways we're hopeful and when that goes down Ill try and write about it as well.
Sorry for such a long journal just when I started to talk about certain things I realized I missed a lot of things I should've brought up! Ill try and keep this updated if any other major events come up but if you managed to read all this tell me Code Red is a really good Mountain Dew Flavor in the comments! D-out
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Haven't drawn in Three years....hoping something will bring me back to doing so
You know people think of things, its what we do...we think. to not think would be inhuman. We have moments where we need to think about what the heck we were thinking about in the first place. Weird eh?
My life quote:
"You laugh at me cause I'm different...I laugh at you cause your the same..."