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Got my new drawing tablet today.  OH THANK GOD.  Trying to art with a trackball is kind of a pain in the ass.

It's an el cheapo, but considering how rough I am on them, that's what I go for.  No more clicking!  My life is tap-tap-tap from now on.
I was just sick of seeing that post from '07.

Nothing to see here.  Move along.
I've been crazy busy the last...six months?  Which is why I haven't responded to anyone, or updated anything.  Got bored of learning things on my own, so I went back to college.  Let other people teach me things for a while.  I'm lazy.  

Taking 18 credit hours this semester, hence the crazy busy part.

Current lineup:

Abnormal Psych -- Blows.  The professor is lazier than I am, and hasn't lectured yet, five weeks in.
Criminal Justice: Substance Abuse
Interviews/Interrogations -- Obviously rocks.
Criminal Law
Law Enforcement Operations
Investigative Principles

I've got a pretty solid idea for a crime novel, and I think these courses will give me enough technical knowledge, of the criminal justice system, to be able to write it.  ...  If I stop being lazy.  Writing's harder than it looks, you know.

All my art for the next few months will probably be characters from the book, really just sticking them here so I don't lose them.  My filing system stinks.

Looks like my brushes were rather popular while I was gone.  Neat.  Glad ya'll liked them, do what ever you want with them, I'm probably never going to get around to replying to comments about them.  Lazy, remember?
Heading out today, won't be back until Monday, gonna go play in the woods with naked hippies.

If I can put my hands on a camera, hopefully I'll have some nifty pictures when I get back.

"Don't worry Mom, it's just a music festival."
"That's what they said about Woodstock."

Yesterday was an experience.  Both draining and amazing.

J- and I both overslept, and there were still a million things we had to do to prepare for his mother's funeral.  Despite lots of rushing we still got there late.  She'd always said he would be late for his own funeral, and since we had her ashes it turned out she was too.  How's that for irony?

The church was tiny and southern and full of J-'s family.  The ladies of the church provided food for afterwards that reminded me why I used to be Baptist.  Though it had thundred through the service, the sun came out when we reached the grave site.  She loved hot days, and it was a scorcher.  J- and I both tucked a few things in her urn, for remembrance, and then we ran speakers from the car and played Stairway to Heaven and Cher as the hole was filled back up.

We took the long way home.  Past the lake, and the campgrounds and up to the parkway.  The rhododendrons were blooming so we stopped at Graveyard fields to walk the trail that winds tunnel-like through the flowering trees.  Neither of us were wearing good hiking shoes, so we took them off and walked up the center of the river, from rock to rock, until we found a great boulder about a quarter mile up stream.  

We sat there for a while, watched the clouds, talked about the past, the future.  It seemed like a perfect moment, and I almost told him I was falling in love with him.  I ran through it in my mind half a dozen time, until it almost sounded right.  But then the light was fading, and we didn't have a flashlight, so we needed to head back.  We stopped by the waterfall to watch the sunset.  It was gorgeous and I almost told him again.  But he's my best friend, and you don't just fall in love with your best friend, and if you do...there's really better timing than the day of his mother's funeral.

Halfway back to the car, on a steep part of the trail, we stopped to catch our breath and I just blurted it out.  It came out kinda jumbled and with rather more stuttering than I would have liked...but there it was.  He laughed at me.  Said "well duh."  

I didn't punch him, but it was close for a second.  It's been driving me crazy for weeks, and I think he's known for ages.  He'd even told his family, earlier that day.  Why am I always the last to know?  He caught back up with me before we got to the car and everything was cool again.  There were some amazing views of the sunset on the drive back.  I love living in the mountains.  

We got home late, ate food that would make a nutritionist scream, and slept for about fifteen hours.  Still not sure that I feel rested.  These last two weeks have just been crazy, family reunion, then his mother's death, planning the funeral and...that other stuff.  Transformus is in a few days and after that...back to life.  J- has a new job and I'm going back to school.  Everything seems to be moving so fast.

I don't believe in time, but if I did I would want it to slow down, just for a little while, so I could get my bearings.  I think I'm coming to a crossroads and I don't know which way to go.  I'm registered for Psychology classes in the fall, but there's still time to change it.  Psychology degrees don't do much good until you have a few years of graduate school...and that's a long way off.  I'm already 25 and I don't care what anyone says, that feels a little old to be starting out as a freshman.  

Mom thinks I should get a quick degree, any degree, and try to find work as an artist.  (And every friend and relative she polled in the social grapevine agrees.  Joy.)  It was always a backup plan but...I really don't want to go there.  I make art because it clears my brain.  I post it here so I can point my friends to it and say "Look!  Pretty!"  I have a prints account so I can buy it myself and just stare at it.  My art is for me and I don't care if anyone else gives a damn.  

If I tried to *live* off of my art, it wouldn't be a release valve anymore, it would be just another stressor.  So not cool.

Or is that just me hiding?  If my art was good enough, and if I could find work, then there's always the chance that I could succeed.  I have an aunt and a couple cousins who are doing quite well in the art world.  But that's a lot of "ifs" and a much bigger gamble.  Ten years from now a degree would be a sure thing.

...  And now J- is home.  At least he'll make me stop rambling.
So, back from the beach.  This year it was nineteen members of the Roper/Cothern clan in a six bedroom house.  Yikes!  I suppose its a good thing we all get along.  Bigger house next year!

Gone a week and no email...don't I feel loved?  I do have a ton of comments to respond to though, and I'll get to them as soon as I've had some sleep.  Twelve hour car rides are not my idea of fun.

ETA:  I spoke too soon.  Didn't come through the beach trip unscathed after all.  

Siamese cat--NEUROTIC siamese cat with abandonment issues.  We left it alone for a week, forced to live off kibble and poop in the grass.  ...  It had a nervous breakdown.  Oy.  Know a good animal shrink?
Submitting isn't working for me at the moment, so I'm dumping this here, before I misplace it.

This is a poem that may or may not be used in the series of novels I'm outlining.  But even if I don't end up using it, it gives a good feeling for the dark god, D'Tash, and is nicely creepy even outside the structure of the novels.


The Rise of D'Tash

The world is an illusion, ever changing, tied to his madness.
Shifting shadows. Bleeding sky. Weeping earth.
The mad are exalted and the sane denied.

He speaks through me, as he speaks through us all,
whispering promises, temptations, demands.

Give in, give up, give way to the darkness
that flows like blood through his veins.
Make way for the rise of madness and despair
both beautiful in their sweet agony.

Rejoice in the fall of all that was.

Zombie Invasion Checklist

Sun Jun 12, 2005, 7:47 AM
This is the direct result of the movie marathon on Sci-Fi yesterday. Too many zombie movies have warped my wee little a very pleasant way.

Zombie Invasion Checklist:

Canned Goods: Large Assortment; 30 Day Supply, minimum: Most Zombie Invasions will die out within a few weeks, but it is best to be prepared. It is no good having the perfect place to hide out if you starve to death before they do.

Kerosene; 10 Gallons, minimum: Both for cooking food and roasting zombies. If all else fails, zombies WILL burn.

Long Pointy Sticks (Pitchforks ideal.): Stick it in the zombie and douse with kerosene, use it to hold the zombie at a safe distance until it is a crispy critter. Zombie kebabs!

Swords, short, single edged, SHARP: Most varieties of zombies can be stopped by removing their heads. A good strategy is for one person to pin the zombie to the wall with the Long Pointy Stick while another removes their head. Then burn them. You can never be too careful.

Generator and fuel: During a wide scale assault you will likely lose power. Save this for emergencies only and don't waste all your fuel powering the TV to watch Bonanza reruns.

Water; 30 Gallons per person: Dehydration is bad. Not as bad as zombies, but still very bad.

Plywood, reinforced with steel bands; 2x4 boards; Really Long Nails: Zombies are smart. They won't batter uselessly at concrete walls, they come right for the doors and windows. Make sure your house is impenetrable. Heavy furniture in front of the access points is always a nice addition.

Porn: You could be stranded for weeks in your hideout. This is a vital item to have on hand.

First Aid Kit: Zombie invasions are dangerous, people will get hurt. Bandaids are a must. If possible have at least one person in your group with training as a mother to remove the numerous splinters that will be obtained while boarding up the hideout.

Good luck.

  • Watching: Day of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead III, ++
Alas, my trackball finally bit the dust.  So no new art until I can get to a real computer store to buy a new one.  Curse this little backwoods town.

Also, new roomie moving in, so my computer time will be highly limited for a few days.  I'll respond to all comments then.