i cannot remember the boys name.
i grasp at spider web wisps of faded memories
of his face, of his clothes,
all I can see is orange.
the only concrete images I can recall
are that of his thick rimmed glasses
as he read his poems,
his fingers as they held a clove cigarette
to his lips after class;
he smelled like soap and cloves
and laughed without using his eyes.
the rest of my memories of him
are the orchestrations flowing from his mouth:
sunset soaked streets
that criss-cross under fading suns,
raw sienna dirt under gnawed fingernails
and dead ochre and vermillion leaves skittering across
i picture ja
How to Use MySpace to Slowly Kill Yourself
Ana and Mia are best friends
Best Friends! they tell each other.
friends until the end!
they hook their pinkies and kiss their fists
and type their passwords into myspace.
warped and blurred reflections
funhouse mirror images
they take pictures
in the bathroom mirrors
an attempt at photographing
which have started to poke through
their tautly stretched flesh.
post pictures of their progress
to their ideal skeletal state
still frames of ribcages
vicious hip bones
barely covered by skin.
hide and seek
from all of us
community of skeletons
asesinato de amor
You had perfection in your hands
and two ends in your mind.
I saw the synapses fire
and the reactions start in motion.
Sedated, I watched,
as you pulled the trigger,
and I blinked as the bullets kissed my skin.
You had perfection in your reach, and you chose to smash it to pieces.
Now shards of indefinites are all that remain,
scattered like the broken glass on which I lay upon in repose,
at your feet.
Our eyes meet.
-an infinite second-
Now you're pulling the trigger,
two shots to the head…
You had perfection in your hands,
and two ends in your mind.
But you had made your decisi
It's quiet here, in my repose.
Through dusty sunlight and broken window panes-
Remnants of passion juxtaposed against shards of deception.
-Machiavellian tendencies, to say the least.-
Malice is my favorite color.
And it looks best on you.
the kiss kiss of stainless steel
she's laughing up and down her arm
in the bathroom; in her mind
the taste of windows and sky
of blood and tears
a consciousness full of lightning
all the stars no longer shine
nightmares have bled into dreams
snowflakes and rose petals are ripped flesh and razorblades
stay upstairs and out of sight
until December melts
until the year is new
and we will pray for this suicide.
Star crossed lovers
I'll show you how to do this right.
My hands around your throat-
You'll repay me with your last breath-
And with your death we all will laugh.
Now I can laugh again.
Choke the life and suffocate the sin.
Purge my soul of what you did to me.
I thought I heard you speak
I thought I heard you say-
And beg for forgiveness
A cruel poetic justice
To act out our opposing roles.
The dying sun's bloodstained rays reveal us alone
I never thought it would be this way.
Tell me now- where do we go from here?
Shall I leave you to lie in wait where you now repose
ghost of summer
i felt sorrow sliding down my cheek
and i reached up to wipe it away
but my fingers grasped only air-
i'm fading fast.
where is the cool summer wind on my face-
warm raindrops kissing my skin-
embracing the night with open arms
June is coming.
I need this.
Can I keep this?
did i ever tell you how you make me feel?
how when i see you my insides melt and the world inverts- because you make me nervous
how when i hear you breathe my name into my ear my throat closes up and i choke on my own words- because you make me afraid
how when i lay next to you i can feel your heart beat through your shirt and it makes my heart skip a beat- because you make me anxious
how when youre gone the smell of you lingers on my pillows for days and i find myself sleeping on your side of the bed- because you make me lonely.
and when you leave i just want to bury my face in your chest and cry- because you make me miserable.
i obviously do not use this site anymore, but i am not dead.
maybe ill come back one day?
probably not because i now know of all the plagiarism and out right theft that this website enables.
but i will give you a quick update since my last post like 2 years ago:
-jake has long since been out of my life. turns out he was just using me to get over his ex-fiance. hes now engaged to some random troll faced bartender with three kids from 2 different guys. so i feel that is his karma, ya know? OH and not long after my last post, i fell at chipotle and broke my ankle. i had to have surgery to have 9 screws and a plate put in. i
whoa. its been almost a year since i last updated.
alot has changed. an awful lot.
im graduating in may, so thats good. jacob and i are together still. weve been having issues lately because the topic of marriage comes up and shit like that.
my life is just school, work and jacob. it sucks. i am hanging in there because i know that things will get better and alot less stressful when i graduate. i cant wait until i just work and dont have hw or papers or tests. ive been in school for almost 20 years. im sick of it! ugh.
other than that, nothing is too new. ive cut out some dead weight in my life. i dont hang out with people who are crap fr
wow. it's been a long time since i've been on deviantart.
i've been super busy. I divide my time between working in solon/aurora, jake in medina, and packing up my stuff in kent.
i work at my dad's new company out in aurora. it's nice that it's so much closer to kent than eastlake was. and i'll probably continue to work part time in aurora when school starts. so that is a good thing, too.
i am literally taking a break from packing my things to move into my new place. i got a one bedroom apartment in stow, i think technically, its stow... and i am so excited about it. it might be small, but its mine. and i cant wait until im donemoving. its