literature

You should never attack a poet,

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DearPoetry's avatar
By
Published:
382 Comments
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Literature Text

we are the best at exploiting weakness.

the night you took a scalpel to my chest
& fed my heart to the stars,
you told me i could hate you
if i needed to.

with an exorcism
i tried to cast you out
of my body.  

i was contorted limbs:
the language of tongues
trying to find myself
in the cosmos
of lit kerosene fingertips,

& the kinds of habits
that only choke me at 3am -
when my eyes aren’t yet heavy
enough for sleep;

my mind tells me to do awful things.

between fucking &
i-don’t-know-who-i-am-
anymore,
you are the calories
in the mathematical equation
scribbled &
    scratched out
of me.

i think of shy moons
and i don’t eat for three days.

admit it;
you only liked me
when this poetic tongue
licked compliments
up
    & down
your scars.  

but,
space shrapnel aside-

you’re too far down now
for even the stars
to graph you into their maps.
Comments382
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In-The-Night-Skies's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

The ending was a bit too perfect. Like everything fell perfectly in place. I thought the imagery of the kerosene fingertips was made as a great description to how you look at the stars. I loved how you mixed your self doubt to show the emotions poets go through.. Like taking a shot for your work each time we put something out there for others to read. Overall, I believe that phrases like, "language of tongues" and "I think of shy moons and I don't eat for three days" will stay with readers for a long time.
This is one of the most unique perspectives for a poem I have read in quite some time. Great job! You are an amazing poet and writer!
lilacgiraffe's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

This is beyond perfect! The vision behind it was very well expressed. It's wording was rhythmic and the though you put into even the the spacing between phrases was extremly influencial! Though i have never read any of your works before, it looks as though I'm going to need to. Between the sudden anger that quickly turned to saddness then dissapointment, I was overwhelmed with the ammount of emotion put behind this piece. You said that you were 'possesed' by this person's words and to tried to cast them out and the feeling in those two stanzas alone would have been enough to put you on the front page. The phrase, "you are the calories in the mathematical equation..." was a complex one, with either hidden meaning or rather a relation to a struggle you have. Also, when you say that you were only liked when you treated this person with care and when you spoke the truth to them, that like was gone, it relates very well to myself and other people who know the pain of loosing someone due to honesty. Thank you so much for writing this because it was deeply touching!
Blacksand459's avatar
but, 
space shrapnel aside- 

you’re too far down now 
for even the stars 
to graph you into their maps.

Badass...all of it...but this was my favorite stanza.   
rialovesfanfic's avatar
this is really beautiful
at first I was like s%@!, then I was #@$^, now I'm like damn...
AWildeDisciple's avatar
How beautiful. Your words paint pictures that speak more words. And not one of them can be said aloud without the sound itself giving a new interpretation to what is being spoken.
Your style is unique and fresh. Reading your poetry has been a delight beyond expression.

I do not define myself as a poet. But poetry has defined me. And it has defined you perfectly.
Thank you for the fresh inspiration
#Newfan
DevilsMatrix's avatar
admit it;
you only liked me
when this poetic tongue 
licked compliments
up 
    & down 
your scars.  


This just strikes so much emotion into me, such a harsh truth, my favorite kind.
This is by far one of my most favorite pieces so far on Deviantart. Tragic, Beautiful, Savage. 
muffledsilver's avatar
Brilliant. The most beautiful thing ive read in a while.
ReiReiSerenade's avatar
this is just amazing!! :clap: :heart:
SpiderwebWisher's avatar
Hello, I'm a contributor for LiteratureRoadtrip and you have been featured in this week's Friday Feature! Thank you! :heart:
imaginative-lioness's avatar
:wow: x10000000000000000

You have written a truly incredible piece. You are seriously the master are creating breathtaking imagery (that should really be a thing!) and your writing style is simply beautiful. My favourite part of the piece is:

"i was contorted limbs:
the language of tongues 
trying to find myself 
in the cosmos 
of lit kerosene fingertips"

The best thing about your writing style, in my opinion, is the fact that it has so much impact. Every word seems to be so carefully chosen.

I love this! :heart:
Quizward's avatar
This is astounding. 
inmyroom's avatar
I really enjoyed this, it's very much my style or writing so it's a joy to read. I'm going to do something I've not done in about 4 years - add you toi my dev watch.

Corinne x 
DearPoetry's avatar
Thank you so much! :heart:
Mdot9's avatar
Wow very powerful ! I love this piece!
DearPoetry's avatar
whimandwonder's avatar
Wow, wow, wow. I'm in love with everything here. Especially "lit kerosene fingertips."
DearPoetry's avatar
countessa's avatar
"you only liked me
when this poetic tongue
licked compliments
up
& down
your scars. "

Absolutely loved and connected with this. Incredibly graphic and explicitely true. Beautiful!
DearPoetry's avatar
thisistiki's avatar
I think this is my favorite poem of yours. I especially love "you only liked me when this poetic tongue licked compliments up & down your scars." The way you write things is so unique and interesting. It gets me thinking and questioning even the most ordinary things. I really look up to your and your writing skills! You are amazing!
DearPoetry's avatar
Thank you so very much! You're kind words have put a smile on my face!
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