The Silence is too Loud

She probably spends more time here than she should.. But when her duties have been completed and the healers den is clean and tidy, the patients fed and seen too... This is where she goes. Not entirely sure when it became such a routine. Was it when she ended things between her and Seidon? When Jay went missing that first time so long ago? Probably then?

It's something about the sounds. Or sometimes lack there of. When the lapping of the water of the lake against the edge feel calming. The general birds and wildlife going about their lives. Everyone is going about their lives. As they should.

And yet. She can't help but feel somethings wrong. Of course it's wrong, there is always something wrong. Someone is missing or ill or prey is scarce. But like... an undercurrent of wrong. Like something awful is just around the corner. Like the penny is just about to drop. Or has it already dropped and this is just the ripples.

How long has she spent in this fog. Waiting. Waiting for something. Wondering if she has made all the wrong choices. She's always the first to say don't well on what you could have done, concentrate on what you can do. But. She can't seem to take her own advice. She's tried to hard in the last year to be present. To have those family chats and be a part of the family she does have with her. Trying to give her grandkids the freedom they crave, allow those safe adventures and push them out of their comfort zones.

And yet here she is. Still well within her own comfort zone. Wishing she could just turn back time and make that leap when she still had a choice. Rather than be left with the ripples of regret and forever wondering if things could have been different.

its my almost yearly pic of Sara upset at the lake YAY <3

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