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Picarto Livestream (off)

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 15, 2017, 4:28 AM

Meet me at Comic Con

Journal Entry: Wed Jun 28, 2017, 11:06 AM

Special Stream (offline)

Journal Entry: Thu Mar 23, 2017, 7:04 AM

Livestreaming on Pixiv again!…

Small side note: In Pixiv you need to go to the small settings cogwheel, select 'high' for quality, because auto often gives only the low quality. I prefer Pixiv by now because I can hear it when someone posts a comment, it is possible to multistream plus it is actually 'live' and not lagging over a minute behind.

Photographer Help Needed!!

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 28, 2017, 12:17 PM

Hey everyone! I seriously need your advice and help! >3<)/ It's about camera models and such, and whether for what I need it for, it is better to upgrade my camera or not.

My brother and I are heading on a trip to the US at the end of February to an aquarium and make some pictures there. He is taking over a doctor office and wants to modernize it by adding a giant DinA1 or DinA0 picture printed on acrylglass to the main treatment room. It's been his dream and I want to help with that.

The plan was to take our Canon Eos 60D, make multiple pictures and I put them together to a Panorama/bigger picture.

The camera:

(Bear with me, translating from german...) From what I know it has an APS-CMOS-Sensor with 18 MegaPixel. (No full format Sensor).

I did a couple of practice shots to check the balance between ISO and aperture and it was okay I guess, but the full resolution when zoomed in always felt pixely and of course, the worse this effect, the more pictures I have to take to be able to put them together and look good when printed.

So, I went online and looked for alternatives and came across the Canon Eos 5D Mark 3. I only had Canon cameras so far and was always very happy with them, thus I wanted to stay with that factory.

The camera:

Full Format CMOS-Sensor with 30,4 Megapixel.

The problem is, we got an offer to borrow one for 1 week but in addition to assurance, borrowing it alone will cost 400€. We are taking a flight to the US for this!! So of course, if it makes a significant difference, we will spend the additional money. However, it's also a LOT of money... (~450USD) So the question is, if it is even worth the difference?

What is your experience? Does someone have the camera and maybe can just make a full res shot and show me how it looks like zoomed in??

Thanks a lot for the help and advice!!

Here is what the fully zoomed in pictures look like on my current camera:

Feeeeesh by Dx33x

Hello everyone~

Drawing a bit. Probably will work on a page or two for EoT but no promises. Feel free to drop by!

In Pixiv you need to go to the small settings cogwheel, select 'high' for quality, because auto often gives only the low quality. You can turn off the chat speech with the small speaker icon on the right side above the chat.
Want to multistream? Just ask~
Just a small warning.

I looked through my gallery, looking for a few pictures and realized there are a LOT of pictures I haven't uploaded here. I used to really love dA because of its community, the RP groups, I met some of my best friends (online and irl) here,... so it makes me sad to think that I moved on to other platforms more and more. I want to keep this gallery running even though I am more active on other pages by now. So I will upload a lot of pictures over the next few days that I haven't uploaded here. Even if its just doodles, linearts, small speedpaints,... So yeah...

If you want to check out my other galleries, you can do so here:

Pixiv Sketch:

I often stream on Pixiv Sketch, upload WiPs on my FB and Twitter and all in all just check those pages more often by now.

Celebrating 1st Anniversary!

Journal Entry: Sun Mar 6, 2016, 1:11 AM




Raffle!! Open until November 11th

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 4, 2015, 11:50 PM

NSFW Livestream (off)

Journal Entry: Fri Aug 14, 2015, 2:21 AM

Adoptable Shop

Wed Jun 24, 2015, 5:06 AM

RP Convention Koln

Fri May 15, 2015, 10:04 PM

Livestream (off)

Journal Entry: Fri Apr 17, 2015, 12:12 PM

New Ashes+News

Wed Apr 15, 2015, 1:06 PM

*ranting* Ignore plz

Journal Entry: Fri Mar 27, 2015, 11:52 PM

Rant Journal, so skip if you have ANYTHING better to do... and if not, you might want to consider getting a life eve)/ //SHOT

So this year has really been a downer this far. I had to go to the hospital in January, then exams, was gone for a week after, my arm snapped from my shoulder joint which makes drawing and writing hard, then there was some personal family issues that are still affecting our whole family, had to go see a doctor again ythursday, not getting too good results, upcoming really important exam in mid April again,... *sighs* I know it could be way worse, but it's still really weighting me down lately. What's coming on top of that all, is how some people around me behave, IRL as well as internet.

So all in all, I'm in a pretty low mood lately and things keep piling up, which is why I'm rarely around at the moment, rarely being able to draw and just having trouble taking further blows at the moment.

I wouldn't mind it so much people were simply honest with me, but it hurts a lot to see them smiling at my face, behaving super friendly but I know that they are actually talking bad behind my back, having caught them first hand. I don't think people can take it very well if you are telling them the truth, not clouding your true opinion for something with pretty words or lying to their face when they messed up. 'Oh no, everything is super fine, you didn't do anything wrong!' ….that's not the type of person I am. I tell people when they screwed up but then try to also tell them 'come on, let's go and try to find a way to fix it.' If that's making me a self righteous bitch, fine, let that be your opinion of me, but at least don't keep smiling at my face and go behind my back. Seriously, I'd have so much more respect for people if they openly told me in my face what they think rather than being so fake. If people openly told me 'Hey, can you please tone it down some? I need support and not the freaking truth when I asked for your opinion' then I would easily say 'Sure!' but don't ask me for my god damn honest opinion and then can't handle it!!

But that's not even the worst...

Let me ask you something... If you found out your boss, or a public official, or the administrator of an online game or even just a small forum played favors toward their friends, allowing them to break rules and being rude to others without being punished by the standards of the rules etc... Would you find it fair? Would you feel compelled? Would you feel uncomfortable being in that community?

Let's look at it the other way around. You are buddies with your boss, or a public official, or the administrator of an online game or even just a small forum. You joke around, talk a lot, hang out together,... and you broke one or two small rules... they are your buddies, right? They shouldn't punish you. You are friends after all!!

Maybe I'm just too old/mature for how things work around here lately, but for me, if I broke a rule, I would ALWAYS ask and expect to be punished according to the rules. Even if I was the administrator's very best, closest buddy ever. I was a GM in an RO server and even there, when I messed up once, even though I was buddies with the admin, I expected to be punished. The reason I left in the end was because said admin continued playing favors on his friends, being super strict with members fucking up but basically forgiving his friends, staff or not, ANYTHING. It pissed me and Silver off so much we decided to leave eventually. Not because we didn't like the job, not because we didn't like the admin, not because we didn't like the community,... but because I couldn't stand for what was going on anymore.

That's also why I try leading my groups, no matter if IRL (university, laboratory,...) or online (RP groups, forums,...) as objective as possible, and friend or not I expect especially of my staff to follow the rules.

There was a giant mess going on end of 2013 because I made an activity check among mods and there were two people who haven't done anything in months (I checked logs). Even though they said in the check they were still around just unable to do anything right now, I told them that if things go more smoothly for them, so they have more time once more, they can become mods again any time, just having to note me, but for now, since they were inactive, I'd remove them from staff.

Both of them immaturely blew the whole thing out of proportion, one of them seeming to just be butt hurt to not be mod anymore, the other being pissed that apparently I was being too unpersonal, sending her a note like that, expecting to be treated special because we knew each other IRL.

Again, maybe I'm just not the way other people are in that regard, but in my opinion it doesn't -matter- if you are friends with someone or not. If you are the leader of something, no matter if a business or even just an RP-group, it's your responsibility to treat everyone alike and not give out favors.

What hurt me the most in that I guess was, that people around, being friends me too, seemed to side with those two after all. They were their friends mainly I guess, talking more with them than with me, so in the end they heard their side of the story because they whined in journals, on tumblr and who knows where else while I didn't want to enforce drama and just remained silent, trying to solve these things personally via notes rather than throwing it publicly at everyone's face. The result? The people around that used to be friends with me too, were on their side simply because they had no idea about the facts, blindly believing every word that stood in those whine-journals and complaint-tumblr-posts.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but it still caused me to retreat RPing and writing mainly with my really close friends only, preferring Skype over chatrooms, making a new account even just to focus on the things -I- like to do, not having to feel like there is pressure on me by everyone's expectations and just returning to what I truly enjoy doing. It boosted my creativeness and enthusiasm again, but even up until today it sours my mood, preventing me from going much into chatrooms or handing my active Skype account to anyone.

None the less, SoC was, to me at least, a giant success. I loved it with all my heart, so even though I really only RPed with two or three people anymore, I didn't mind putting roughly 15 hours into each and every Story Flash, plus the time it took to draw the backgrounds, buttons, textbox, skit characters,... I didn't mind it at all. I also love Ethernitas' story, setting,... We put a lot of thought into the group, working on the story together,... but with how things are at the moment, I am just not sure if I have the strength to keep up all the responsibilities at the moment. I have exams coming up and this one is extremely important. I'm studying from morning to evening daily and still am afraid I might not be able to make it. Then on top of that, I am losing even more time because of my health condition. Then, in the back of my mind I am constantly reminded, the next story flash is due soon, so that means another 10-15 hours preparing time for that, meaning losing even more time... *sighs* It was a really hard decision but for the moment I had to remove the flashes for story missions, returning to written missions. OTL Feels awful considering how much I loved the look of them, especially the DS style but as things are, I just -can't- keep up with it. At the same time I'm not sure if I will ever make an open group anymore or just focus on private groups for myself and my friends mainly, just so there is no -reason- for enforcing rules if it is from friends for friends, so hopefully there will never be as much souring drama as there was in SoC and I can actually finally enjoy chatrooms etc again. =3=;

Just feeling really exhausted lately OTL And saw some things from the past popping up again yesterday as well and got frustrated all over again. And yet I still stand for it. I still will not change my ways. I am 100% committed to my projects and groups and will not change the way I lead them. Maybe I need to take a step back here or there due to IRL, but I won't stop or change because this is the way -I- think it should be and... well, if others disagree I can't help it. I can only be committed and give my all if I believe in how things are run.

Does that make me selfish? I mean, think about it. If you put as much time per week into something as I do for my groups, wouldn't you want it to be something you can stand behind?

I'm turning 26 in 7 weeks. I'm really trying to find my path in life at the moment, having to focus on my studies, but at the same time I really love RPing and will continue doing it as stress relief from university and work. I guess it is just one of these hard times that pull you down and make you extra vulnerable for old shit coming up.... *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHS*

Okay... done whining and ranting =3=; Can't believe anyone would read this whole thing until here eve;;; You guys really need a life //SHOT Three more weeks, then that important exam is over. Hopefully I will feel more creative then OTL Need to finish a few works I owe and then FREEDOM! //SHOT MORE

hiatus due to injury

Journal Entry: Fri Feb 27, 2015, 1:00 PM

Managed to luxate my right shoulder a few days ago so now its completely wrapped up and bandaged so I can't move the arm at all anymore. *typing with left hand only atm*

This means I will be on a hiatus from this account, my active/RP account, Skype, Facebook and Twitter, so sorry if it takes a while to reply notes, PMs, etc.

For my buddies and Ether co-mods/-admins: If there is an emergency poke me on skype. I have my mobile on, but yeah... won't be able to type much at all.

Sidenote: Ethernitas enrollments are open! JOIN US!! //shot

Take care everyone!


Issue resolved

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 16, 2015, 6:51 AM

Thanks SO much to those who offered help <3333333

And so it happened again...

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 23, 2014, 4:24 AM

Just venting some, so ignore if you have anything to do at all... and if not GO OUT THERE AND GET A LIFE GDI! jkjk I just need to get this of my chest from time to time and would love to see if there are people out there with similar thoughts or experiences.

Eitherway... I’ve had this one thing happen to me many times already in different sort of measures but it happens a lot and every time it does, it just leaves me feeling bitter and not valued for the person I truly am. I’m talking about people contacting me and wanting to be friends for my art only.

Every decent artist probably knows that problem: People contacting them and wanting requests or gifts or cheap commissions,... It’s usually rather easy if you get a note that bluntly states what they want right from the start, so you can just say ‘sorry, I don’t do requests/gifts/trades/commissions’ and be done with it.

In the past, before I even joined dA I often drew gifts for people that contacted me randomly, back then over a forum called TalesUniverse or DragonTear and since I was still in school and had tons of time and motivation I drew them whatever they wanted. But even then, we were a small-ish community so the people that asked were actually considered ‘online buddies’ to me already. When I changed to dA though, it as also my time of graduating, so I had less and less time drawing and thus focusing on my actual manga projects (Essence of Time) and only drawing gifts and art for very close friends that I actually talked to often. Back then I made my first experiences with people actually getting mad or bitchy when I turned down their requests while granting those of others. I was called out for being a snob and only wanting to suck up to the mods of the forum or the good artists on dA, which, rather coincidentally, were the people I talked to the most. I was a really good friend of some mods on TU and DT and chatted a lot with the admin of TU, even skype calling regularily, and the people I knew on dA in the beginning were the artists from the forums actually being the people bringing me to dA.

Looking back at some of my art I cringe at the horrible anatomy or coloring or lack of dynamics or movement,... I am by far better by now and count myself by my own judgment to one of the ‘pros’ by now. I can’t compete with artists that work in the gaming industry or went through years of training at an artschool but for someone who taught herself all her skills by herself I am more than proud of what I achieved artwise. And many people think the same apparently. I don’t get many comments on my art, but I am proud of the 8000+ watchers I have none the less.

What I get way too often unfortunately, is notes from people that want to be my friend. People that just found my gallery, see my art and think ‘woah, what an awesome artist, I want to be their friend!’ In a way, it might be a compliment, but think about it: You reduce the person you are contacting to nothing more than the pictures they produce. You don’t care whether I am funny, intelligent, warm, open minded, shy or self conscious,... the person I am behind the screen doesn’t matter at all.

So far, I tried to give people that contacted me to become my friends a chance most of the time at least still, answering them and such, but not putting too much hope into anything coming out of it, out of a simple reason: It happened to me -so- many times, and each time it ends with someone getting mad at me for not favoring them in one way or another.

A few examples:

People contacted me about RPing before a lot already and I always offer them to create a character for one of the groups I am in, then sure, we can RP some. I once got a message back ‘I really just want you to draw our OCs together, so is it okay if I just send you a sketch of her?’

I also had an RP friend once that I sometimes set my alarm at 5 am just to catch her for RPing two hours before she had to leave again... Even though I did that in order to see her on Skype, she wouldn’t even write me a message anymore at some point, if she couldn’t make it, leaving me sitting there and waiting at 5 am taking it for granted. She also asked me for a background picture once, if I could draw one for her for her group and since I was in the middle of exams, I took one of my older pictures, cut the charas out and painted over it to get it up to my current skill level, but that apparently wasn’t quite what she had had in mind, so in the end she decided to take one of her own after all. What pretty much ended the friendship for me though, was when she asked me whether she was allowed to enter one of MY designs, my SoC Logo, to a contest, she’d at least split the price 50/50 with me. Seriously?!

Even IRL: I met a couple of people on a DevMeet in a city close to where I live and some people already knew me from dA before, recognizing my username right away. I became friends with some of them (and still am great buddies with some *hugs Ser*) but one of them backstabbed me rather heavily two years ago. We were in the beginning of our RP group’s storyline when I offered some of them to become moderators, but also made clear that it comes with responsibilities. Moderators had certain privileges in our group, but in return of course I expect them to do their duties, and maybe I am strange like that, but when it comes to responsibilities I took, I draw clear lines between friends and work. Said friend had mnaged to make me feel a bit uncomfortable before already, when I invited her over to go swimming in our pond or invited her for lunch, she always said things like ‘Going to post in my journal later that Dea cooked for me!’ or once when she flopped on my bed ‘Ha! Going to make the others so jealous when saying I was in Dea’s bed!’ I let it slip back then, thinking of it as just a joke but in a way that already was using my name or fame on dA to get more attention for herself, which is something I am just not okay with. When we did a Mod activity check, I saw she and some others hadn’t done anything in the group for months, so I contacted them and told them I’d put them back to members, but if they have more time again, they could contact me and I’d make them Mod again. And who would have guessed? She completely freaked out, going emo about how mean I was and sharing it all over her tumblr and such,... I lost quite a few watchers and even friends over this, simply because I decided I don’t like fighting my dirty battles in public and remained silent, so I was the bad guy, because she convinced people around that I did her wrong, simply because I didn’t give her special treatment.

What happened to me today/yesterday for example: I had someone contact me on Gaia about an item, whether I wanted to trade or not and I refused the trade but the person kept chatting with me, continuing to ask me about what I was doing, how I was doing,... and I didn’t think much of it, so I replied. At one point however she started asking about my art and I was starting to feel this ping of suscpicion right away that has developed in me the past decade. I showed her some of my pictures and she praised my stuff and all that, saying she saw some of my art on my shop when she first contacted me about the trade,... and in my shop, it is clearly stated that I don’t do commissions right now. Up until this point she always answered my messages within 5 minutes of me sending them. Then she wondered whether I could draw her and her bf’s avatar and she would in return give me some gold for it. I replied that I wasn’t taking commissions right now and especially can’t take them for Gaia Gold since I’d have to ask for way too high prices to make the transition between time needed to draw something and worth of Gaia Gold... Who would have guessed? Haven’t heard of her since. I gave her a chance and checked my outbox yesterday, seeing she read the message already. When I logged back in today, I looked at her profile and she is in Gaia Town, so online obviously. So much for being interested in my hobbies or who I really am other than a good artist.

I’m 26 by now and rather jaded when it comes to people trying to guildtrip me or gaining attention, favors,... I have no problem with buntly saying ‘No’ anymore, simply because I don’t let people close anymore without them proving to me first that they care about more than my art. Even irl, when making new friends, I don’t hide that I am an artist, but I want them to get to know me as a person first, and if they like me for what I am, -then- I don’t have a problem showing them my art and then I also have no problem giving them favors or more attention. I feel sorry for the few people out there that try contacting me -to- become my friends for the right reasons, but if there is one in 25 then I’d have to go through 24 idiots first before finding a new, good friend, and I neither have the time nor energy for that. I read a couple of rants in the past, people complaining about good artists being snobs and only wanting to talk to other good artists..... but have you ever thought of it that way? There are only so many people that you can keep as good friends, because being friends takes time and effort. You need to contact them from time to time, say hello, ask them how they are doing,... how many friends do you still have that you would still consider good friends even though you haven’t heard of them in months? There is only a limited amount of true friends a person can keep, and even if some people can easily keep more people close than others, the amount will -always- be limited. So if there are tons of people wanting to be your friends, wouldn’t you much rather stick to the ones that you know want to be your friends because of your personality rather than your art? To me, this also easily explains why good artists often get along better with other good artists: If you realize it or not, but if a good artist contacts you and wants to befriend you, chances are, they know exactly how it feels to be in that position, to only be contacted because you are a good artist, plus they are awesome artists themselves so why should they try and take advantage of your skills if they have more than enough themselves?

It isn’t a guarantee, but so far, at least the amount of times I sit in front of my computer and just shake my head, telling myself ‘I really should have known’ became less frequent that way. Again, I feel sorry for those out there who are sincere in wanting to become friends with me for more than just my art, but maybe rather than blaming the artists for being ‘snobbish’ and ‘sticking to other good artists only’, we should start blaming the people that left us little choice but doing so, sticking to those only that we know won’t try and get a cheaper commission, trade or gift but instead care for us as the person we are behind the screen.

Have you guys had similar experiences? Would be really interested in hearing your stories, or how you handle it. Or maybe you have a completely different opinion?