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About Deviant AnjaFemale/United States Recent Activity
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I’d never seen so many bodies. Just strewn about, like trash. Heaps of meaningless forms covered in a shroud of blackness, as far as I could see. I stood above, looking down at them. Mangled. Lifeless. In a pit of forgotten life. Each one had a life. Just like me. They had friends, family, hopes, dreams, angst, pain, struggles. I felt my feet moving along the ground beneath me. I walked among them, the dead. I felt the emptiness, the lack of souls, of energy. It felt so uncanny. It was impossible to accept that each face was just a shell. I felt nothing in this place. Their souls had long since left, and I was alone, among the thousands, the piles, the heaps of flesh.
I grew up learning to feel and breathe the energy from every creature I met. I’m not telepathic; I guess I’m what you would call an empath. I can feel your emotion, the full depth of it. I can feel if you’re trying to hide something, and depending on the level of strength of that barrier, I can eve
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 0
Good morning
“Good morning, handsome.”
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I opened my eyes to see him turned to me, those beautiful brown eyes, and a smile that said “I love you.”
Why can’t every morning could be like this?
I blinked a few times, still waking.
We woke to the sound of birds, wind in the trees, cars on a highway in the distance, a rainy and gray, yet pleasant morning.  
I stretched my body, twisting my torso opposite my hips, then the other way. I felt him trace a finger between my breasts, down my chest, and along my side. And I felt loved.
I crawled on top of him, laying my body on his, curling my knees up by his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling his hair on my hands. He wrapped his own arms around me, and exhaled his breath on my cheek. And I felt safe.
He ran his hand down my neck, along my back, and back up my legs. I pressed into him, then rolled myself off him, pulling his body with mine, until we had traded positions. He l
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 0
Let yourself drop
down a hole of memories
to understand,
to see what you've been hiding.
let yourself catch on each rock,
roll and toss against the wall,
bruises you can't even feel
like a rag doll.
your mind flies as your body falls,
that immobile floating feeling
catches up with you,
and your limbs won't move.
dropping through time and reason
a blackness above and light below;
the wind cooling your body
til you shiver,
the air clearing your mind,
dragging your thoughts with it.
you just stare,
watching the memories fly past,
unable to decipher reality from fiction;
unable to will concern
for the images you see,
the memories that might have been
could be,
never were.
the hopes, turned into forgotten whims
past their time,
you just stare
and fall.
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 0
Was it fear, or something deeper,
something a little less selfish holding me?
Was I holding myself back?
Only one way to find out.
I cut this rope and that, only to find chains beneath
wrapped and twisted around my wrists
digging into raw flesh, swollen with infection.
I hadn't felt them until I saw them;
clear as day, there they were,
silver, black and crusted red, reflecting in my eyes.
I pulled away and felt them create new wounds,
Crying out with the sting, the singeing  pain,
new blood, red with oxygen dripped to the ground
creating small pools of stolen life.
They clanged with laughter at my torment
and hung heavy below my arms,
weighing me down til I could no longer stand;
I felt my body slide down to the ground
against the brick.
The further I fell, the weaker I became,
until my body lay in a pool of my own bodily fluids
mixing together, soaking my skin and hair.
And lying there, curled against the cold cement
my chains sinking beneath the earth, pulling at my wrists,
I kn
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 0
The Drive
I heard her screaming in the background. He tried to comfort me. He tried to make sense of it all. But I could hear in his voice that his spirit was broken. I broke it. And I just sat there like an idiot in the front seat of my car. I sat there, blinked incredulously. What had I done? What had I done?
What could I do? Nothing I could say would fix this. The only thing would be to face them. Tell them I was sorry to their faces and beg for their forgiveness. So I drove. It was one AM and I drove. It was all I could do.
I threw open the windows to let the cold air clear my head enough to stay conscious. I put on the music to keep my focus. I drove wide-eyed, beyond distracted. I've never driven that fast for that long. I couldn't get there fast enough. I'd look at the clock, and only seven minutes had passed by. And I pressed hard on the pedal wishing I was there. Right then.
But I wasn't. I still had another hour to go. And it didn't help that I got lost in some fucking detour on the ea
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I breathed in a deep breath to fill myself with relaxing oxygen; it's so common we don't even think about it, unless it's difficult. Like when you run too far, get that side-stitch and do everything and anything to make the pain go away. Arms above your head, breathing out more than you breathe in, water... and eventually it goes away and you forget about it. Like it never happened.
I felt the pain one night, sharp, under my left breast, like a shard of bone had broken off and was digging into the muscle between two ribs. I ignored it at first, assuming it was some anomaly or temporary bruise, but I felt it grow, slowly taking over my chest, deepening, spreading each day. A weight or defect under my skin, plaguing my body and mind without reason.
It was a subtle reminder that my time on earth was limited, that I am mortal.
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 1 0
Listen to the rain
Patter the bathroom window
Like a thousand tiny imps
Trying to get in.
A murmur of thunder in the distance
Sounded more like that metallic scraping
You hear when a boat strikes the ocean floor
Unearthly, cold and hollow.
I played in the water like a waterfall
I swam in the rain that cooled my flesh
It flowed over me, covered me
A clear skin of ever-changing liquid
Earlier I hid from the stinging needles of icy cold water,
Walked under the overhang of the roof
Felt my feet soak up the wetness from the grass
Through my shoes.
And I didn't care.
The air became more water than gas
And I wanted nothing more than to walk
On the bottom of the rainy sea;
So I did.
I felt my forehead cool, my face go numb,
My hair get heavier til it dripped down my back.
The sound of my steps melted away
While I listened to the rain.
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I looked into the dark
straight into the blackness,
the hollow, swirling shroud
of the lack of light
beyond what my eyes perceived
and reached
reached for something deeper
grabbing for a spark of proof
of something bordering between
reality and dreams
an essence of hidden truth
dark enough to be invisible
in sunlight
The longer I stared
the closer I felt
to something staring back
with or without eyes
I could feel it penetrating my own.
It was watching
In curiosity, or in knowledge?
Demons, or just beings
so wrongly named by many before
who didn't take the time
to get to know
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 1
Mature content
Untitled :iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 1 0
Man of My Dreams
Man of my dreams
I've seen you before
locked away in my dreams
when we met we could soar.
I'd watch you canter away and appear behind me
grab my hand as I clumsily fall out of my mind
make my heart melt, an innocent joy which
opens the doors I thought I had shut;
and I fell at the sound
of your feet running around and around
my world and my heart;
and my shattered smile
appears in the dark;
and you race in the light
I reach for your hand,
but you catch me before I can escape my fall.
and I'm safe in those arms,
happy and sweet,
a picturesque moment,
as life ought to be.
But my smile fades as you turn to black
my real world approaches,
(wish I could go back to your arms so safe,
your comforting smile,
maybe I'll see you again once in awhile.)
But I am awake
until I can sleep,
and to pass the time
I'll remember my dream.
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 0
Dance, lady, cause you're beautiful.
Show the world what they came for,
and maybe throw in a little something more.
Dance and make me wish I loved you.
No matter how hard I try
something is holding me back.
I could love a man til he was humble and ashamed
but you always made me blush,
like I couldn't take that final step.
I'd get right up to you,
look you in the eyes and try,
try so damn hard to touch your porcelain skin,
but your were an angel,
and I knew that if I touched you,
you would break.
Selfishly destroy the dancing angel before me.
All for love.
And I'd love you. And you'd love me,
but you would never see yourself again.
Your angel would never dance again.
And everyday I'd hate myself
for taking that final step.
So please, angel, tonight,
step lightly, do an extra turn for me
and throw out a wink.
I promise: this is as close as I'll ever get.
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 0
Am I a dark monster under your bed,
creaking open your door,
crawling after your footsteps?
Or am I  the spoonful of salt
you had to add to savor the flavor;
the chip of ice that made you slip;
or am I the little voice on your shoulder
making you question your every move?
Are you really so afraid
that you can't even say "hello?"
You avert your eyes, hide inside yourself.
Curled into a haven hoping no one and nothing
can see the gaps in your defenses.
Where your fear leaks out.
Pooling beneath your glass shell,
ready to crack at the sight,
at the sound you prayed
couldn't come near?
You are paralyzed by fear.
The idea of fear.
That something terrifying
could rule your mind.
      And you lie.
                    And wait.
And pray for it to pass by.
Pray that it won't notice you
quivering at its every move
around and through you.
The darkness that consumes your mind
is fear.
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 2 0
Can you open your mind
Can you open your mind a little bit more
I'm standing at your door
waiting for you to see me
not who I was.
Me. Who I am. Now.
This minute; this second;
Can you believe that maybe I might have changed
and maybe I want more than I did
when I first walked through that door.
That this isn't good enough for me
And I'm sorry if you can't understand
why after 23 years I'm not who I was
I'm who I am and I'm moving on from this
damned standstill purgatory.
And I will NOT apologize for being myself
I'm taking my life to the next level
to see more
and love more
and hate less
I'm not worthless.
And I do deserve
to live.
I deserve
to see what and who I can be
out there
in the world.
I want to be
Real Life.
This Day.
:iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 1 0
It's not about what you didn't do
what you could've done
or what you didn't say.
It's about you and who you are today.
Are you happy? Do you feel free?
There's so much judgement,
so much hate
and I'm done with my overrated
fucked up DEPRESSION
over who said what
and wants me to be all that
but guess what
I'm not.
I'm just me.
and I'll never be more.
I am what I am today.
Not five years ago.
Not yesterday. Today.
I'm right here.
Can you see me?
It's not about the words you said,
those things you did a thousand hours ago.
What are you doing today.
What does it mean for today?
And when you wake up tomorrow,
can you live with who you were
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Tappan Square by De5sertRo5e Tappan Square :iconde5sertro5e:De5sertRo5e 0 0
No title
I lived across town, so it was a good mile to get home. And it was raining. Gotta love it here. I finally got in, drenched. I unlocked the door to my room and flopped on the bed, dropping my backpack in the corner. It had been a long day, so I didn't even bother turning on the light, I just laid there. Eventually I fell asleep.
When I woke up sometime later, it was dark. I could tell there was a moon because my curtains are thin enough that they always let in a good amount of light during the day, but there was no sound coming from outside, which was strange, because I always leave my window open. I couldn't even hear a passing car or the wind. I figured I must have closed it earlier and been too tired to remember, so I got out of bed and went to open it. But before I could even stand I felt something behind me in the dark.
I was too groggy to see around me, but I suddenly felt something cover my mouth, and I yelped with surprise, then I felt a hand
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Loss by Lycanium Loss :iconlycanium:Lycanium 31,360 2,884 Catfish by raviary Catfish :iconraviary:raviary 24 6 hades and persephone 2 by sandara hades and persephone 2 :iconsandara:sandara 154,948 11,642 hades and persephone 1 by sandara hades and persephone 1 :iconsandara:sandara 61,905 2,646 Persephone by Ashramart Persephone :iconashramart:Ashramart 861 31 Persephone by thienbao Persephone :iconthienbao:thienbao 1,409 36 Viking and Siren by Wenchworks Viking and Siren :iconwenchworks:Wenchworks 521 56 Silver griffin by AlviaAlcedo Silver griffin :iconalviaalcedo:AlviaAlcedo 1,129 66 Green Dragon's eye on winged gargoyles necklace by IanirasArtifacts Green Dragon's eye on winged gargoyles necklace :iconianirasartifacts:IanirasArtifacts 33 1 Mavis - test by Ryoko-demon Mavis - test :iconryoko-demon:Ryoko-demon 1,156 73 Orange Dragon's eye wire wrapped adjustable ring by IanirasArtifacts Orange Dragon's eye wire wrapped adjustable ring :iconianirasartifacts:IanirasArtifacts 18 3 EdxWin Bicycle by Poefish EdxWin Bicycle :iconpoefish:Poefish 190 24 The mermaid by Official-AmyFantasy The mermaid :iconofficial-amyfantasy:Official-AmyFantasy 458 74 True Colors II by LaurenCoakley True Colors II :iconlaurencoakley:LaurenCoakley 35 2 LED Hooping by Sexy Bexy by LaurenCoakley LED Hooping by Sexy Bexy :iconlaurencoakley:LaurenCoakley 21 3 Ivy by Ophelia-Overdose Ivy :iconophelia-overdose:Ophelia-Overdose 420 6



De5sertRo5e's Profile Picture
United States
Art is an expression of emotion, but it's also a way to communicate.

Art is perceived uniquely.

Art can be beautiful and ugly at the same time.

Art can speak when there are no words.

Art is alive, and it can breathe.
It's Fall! Leaves are changing, Caribou has pumpkin spice lattes, stores are selling pumpkin candles, and people are buying Halloween costumes! Coats, boots, and scarves are once again in fashion. The grocery stores are overflowing with apple varieties from Honeycrisp to Cortlands, to Grannysmith and Macintosh. It's the time for sharing hot apple cider and hot chocolate. The wind blows crunchy leaves across the road and you can just feel the weather changing. I've already made an apple & cranberry pie, and I can't wait for the next one: pumpkin. This time I thought about trying it with a real pumpkin.... I know right? Haha. I've heard the warnings, but I love a good adventure. In all practicality, though, canned may just be the way to go. Who knows? Maybe I'll get pumpkins anyways, just for decoration!

I LOVE this time of year.


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knabobar Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014
Kay-Noire Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2014  Professional Photographer
I appreciate the support and hope you'll like my future works! Heart:happybounce:
CourtneyBowen Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks so much for the watch!
xthumbtakx Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
hi Anja! thank you so much for :+fav:ing my art!! :hug: :dalove: hope you'll check out the rest of my gallery! :D

the world underwater by xthumbtakx
eiffa2222 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the fav ^^
Aurelia-Isabella Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot for watching! :heart:
GrimDreamArt Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks a lot for :+fav: on "Fantasy Pond"!
geosx Featured By Owner May 28, 2014
Thanks for the fave!
A-Man-With-No-Art Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the :+fav: :rose:
The-Emo-Panda Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanx so much for the fav ^.^
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