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About Literature / Hobbyist Daniel BoeseCanada Groups :iconanthrorodentia: AnthroRodentia
Lovers of rodent anthro artwork!
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Deviant for 12 Years
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Some say to remember that the finger pointing at the moon is not the moon. And some say that every time you call up a memory, you change it. But here's the best I can express what remains of a split-second of thought earlier today:

I was enjoying reading a classic SF novel for the first time, and as my thoughts went over expanding on an idea from one line, I had a combination of seeing that expansion in the form of some Avatar-like glowing blue text, combined with an odd sensation. It took me some time to nail it down, which was a combination of thinking that the expansion was new-to-me, interesting... and what I now realize was the actual emotional sensation of hope.

I'm not sure if I can describe what it's like to realize that I'd literally forgotten what hope feels like. I've cobbled together an intellectual approximation, so that, as a hyperbolic-to-the-unrealistic-extreme example, I can analyse the pros and cons of suicide, taking into account that I know my mind is prone to certain biases, and come to the logical conclusion that even if I don't anticipate anything ever getting anything better, staying alive is most likely the better choice. But that's an entirely different thing than actually /feeling/ "hey, that sounds like something better that just might happen".

Sure, I've now been going over that split-second so many times that by now I mostly only remember remembering it. But I'm still taking it as a /very/ good sign I'm still on an upswing. (Sure, one step back every few steps forward, and there are days as blah as before... but there are days that /aren't/.)

About the only downside is that re-thinking my latest story idea, I'm now realizing how bleak and depressing my outline is; so I'm going to have to change it so much that I might as well be coming up with something from scratch. Which is such a ridiculously contrived "downside" that I'm grinning lopsidedly to myself as I type this.

Of course, given past experience, I may only be peaking before a return to previous depression; I've had such before. But... it may not be. And I'm looking forward to hoping my mental state will improve further.


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Daniel Boese
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
I'm an urban hermit, a hiker, a rationalist, a skeptic, a freethinker, an empiricist, a materialist, a naturalist, a scientist, a bibliophile, an INTJ, a white hat hacker, a secular humanist, a teetotaler, a social-liberal civil-libertarian monarchist, a furry fan, a playtester, a licensed amateur radio operator, an ordained minister of the First Church of Atheism, a card-carrying pirate, the Star Lord, a Lord of the Rose, and a proud member of the Bayesian Conspiracy.

I try to operate by Crocker's Rules.


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rubbervixen Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2018
Happy Birthday, Dee. Miss you.
Wallaroo Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2018
Happy Birthday! :cake:
Zaphkiellane Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Heppy Burf'tee! Hope you have been well lately 
Keyotea Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday
DataPacRat Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you kindly. :)
FireBlazeDragon5 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav!
Boger Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2018
Thank you very much for adding my art to your collection!
KingWillhamII Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2017
Happy (Late) Birthday! :D
theredknight100 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2017
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :iconcakeplz:
dragonnetstorm Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you kindly for the watch! Very appreciated. Both here and there. :)
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