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             When I crush the head of a clover bloom, the scent carries me to that far off field where my weed battered knees cut trails by the blackberry bush. Where the old man let us feast on his jam flavored crop of wild fruit, and told us tales of when his hair was crowned with dandelion fluff. Where the overhead hum of power lines cursing the heat of summer was the only thread we used to find our way back home. Where the king of the day was crowned based upon who found the biggest possum skull, or smashed the tallest crawdad hole; swearing he fought off its occupant, who was the size of Bobby’s dog. Back then, the trash of ditches was pirate swag, or royal treasure. A baseball bat swollen with ditch water was a giant’s club. A thorny weed was the last proof of an ancient forest.
              Time ran slow there, meandering with bees that passed, honey-drunk in zigzags before our eyes. They were as shameless as we explorers, who trampled grass, and danced around blossoms as if we were avoiding primed traps. We knew our place in the field. It was indifferent of us some days. Others, it was proud of its unburied vaults; parting brush in our presence to reveal a giant beetle, or some flower we swore was a color never seen before. We abided its rules, always entering by the same hopped fence, and landing on the same smashed grass threshold of the day before. We always followed butterflies, knowing them to be the guides in that flat Heaven. We never crushed a perfect blossom, or ran from a passing bee, fearing we’d curse the day’s expedition.
               That’s how summers went: passing our days in another place, a country on another plane, separate and safe from school books or bed times, where we listened to the wind whisper those secret things that had to be tapped out in tree branches to be understood.
                Until one day, we hopped the fence, eager to uncover an apple core buried the week before, so we could see what the soil did with our offering. That’s the day when we lost the field. Every bull nettle stem, beetle blanket, and every other thing and place that we’d named in the sacred kid tongue had been torn away. The whole of it severed at the stalk. We all whimpered that the cicada shell we’d crushed the week before was to blame, but I knew that wasn’t the reason. The world we came from was jealous of our hiding place; of the last patch of magic that it may have been weaved out of long ago.
               I grew sick at the scent of all those headless flowers, left piled up in mounds by the force that had broken them all in one swing. I wept for the bees that lay like striped raisins dying of thirst far off in some front lawn garden, whose blooms were dust compared to the potent nectar they’d grown accustomed to.
               I still dance around perfect blossoms, and frown when I see a bee shining thirsty in the Sun.
This prose piece is about a subject very near to my heart: a fond and upsetting childhood memory that changed me for good.

I've always wanted to write this, but it had to come out on its own, and I'm mystified by it.

I'd love to hear everyone's feedback on this.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2008-04-19
Wild Flower Crimes by ~DarlingDante: when did you grow up? ( Suggested by tigerlove72 and Featured by GeneratingHype )
:iconthebrassglass:
TheBrassGlass Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2008  Professional General Artist
This is a poem. It is absolutely beautiful.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2008
Why thank you :).
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:iconvampire-zombie:
vampire-zombie Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Professional Photographer
this is just insanely emotional. you make really good use of imagery, and it just made it such an easy read. i loved the line "The world we came from was jealous of our hiding place". beautiful piece over all =)
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008
Thanks. This one flowed so easily and honestly, it just came out the way that it is. I just sort of furiously scrawled it at a coffee shop, and was dumbfounded by the ease of composition. That never happens for me, but I really wish it would more often.

I will be sure to take a look at your gallery, and thanks again for lavishing all the praise haha. It is certainly appreciated.
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:iconvampire-zombie:
vampire-zombie Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Professional Photographer
you're really welcome =) you deserve it, your writing is amazing! and yeah i really love it when the writing just sort of flows out of you so easily, and everything just turns out the way you want it. it really should happen more often
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:iconlucky978:
Lucky978 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist
This is such a beautiful piece. I can see why it received a DD. I could really feel the emotion in this piece and like another commenter said, nothing felt forced. The whole piece flowed from beginning to end
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008
Why thank you. I'm so glad you liked it.
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:iconmirrorakay:
Mirrorakay Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2008
You certainly know how to put images into a reader's mind! Excellent piece.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2008
Thanks so much, and thank you for taking the time to read it!
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:iconmirrorakay:
Mirrorakay Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2008
It was my pleasure.
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:iconglowingkitten:
glowingkitten Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2008  Professional Artist
This has been featured in my journal :D
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2008
Aww, thanks so much!

You have an amazing gallery.
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:iconsimon-xax:
Simon-Xax Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2008
I suppose so...

Well...

Have a nice day!!
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2008
You too.
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:iconsimon-xax:
Simon-Xax Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2008
Thanks!!

Laterz!!
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:iconmoskvitchok:
moskvitchok Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Top marks for conveying the feeling! What I love most is the fact that the rich imagery doesn't seem overdone or forced like it oh so often does. Good job on waiting and letting it come out on its own.
Several commas felt wrong to me, personally (comma critiques? How pathetic, I know...) yet the reason for that is, I feel, because this is simply a selection that would be perfect in polysyndeton heaven, away from such worldly things as commas.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2008
That's a very thoughtful suggestion and stylistically I tend to overuse commas or at the very least place them when they may not be completely necessary.

As far as the adjustment of common placing to create a new pacing via a polysyndeton grammatical format, I'll certainly have to look into it and I constantly revise old work, so thank you for pointing it out.
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:iconmoskvitchok:
moskvitchok Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
It is my pleasure to be of some use.
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:iconpartyhat:
partyhat Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008
that was so beautiful! I could really taste the words.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2008
Why thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it.
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:icontshroom:
Tshroom Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2008
This is one of my favorites. It is just so nostalgic. Brings out deep emotion.
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:iconellen-l:
Ellen-L Featured By Owner May 1, 2008
I have a place like that, I hope it is still there. I moved, and haven't been back there for nearly 7 years. Sweet poem, lovely writing.
Just wondering, what is a DD?
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner May 1, 2008
DD = Daily Deviation. Each category has a piece selected for the day (in this case, literature), and it is recognized as sort of the featured work of the genre for that day.

Thanks for the kind words also.
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:iconellen-l:
Ellen-L Featured By Owner May 6, 2008
AAAH! Okay, I get it now, THANKS!
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:iconarcadianspaceship:
ArcadianSpaceship Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2008
I'm really bad a commenting, but I wanted to tell you I found this truly moving
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2008
Why thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. And thanks also for the watch. :)
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:iconarcadianspaceship:
ArcadianSpaceship Featured By Owner May 1, 2008
:D You're welcome
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:iconfegie:
fegie Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
At first, i was-- maybe stupidly-- confused & lost as to what had happened. But when it finally dawned on me, i felt a sort of sickness & sadness. I never really had any such place like this when i was little, & the thought of anyone who had it having it taken away so brutally is heartbreaking.

Your style of writing is really rich, too. It was so detailed without being lengthy, & full of images. One of those writings where you can see what's going on, the people & their surroundings, as you read. It was very good, despite being very sad.

And congratulations on the DD. :)
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
Thank you so much for the kind words and the congratulations.
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:iconfegie:
fegie Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
You're welcome. : )
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:iconworkingfire:
workingfire Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
I sadly know exactly how you feel. My neighbors used to have this huge, wild swamp behind their house, and then one day they drained it and I swear a part of my childhood wilted away. It was my favorite place. Great job capturing that feeling and the magical atmosphere of your field.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
It is is a sad feeling, and I'm sorry to hear of your story as well. It seems maybe that those sorts of losses are imminent as we grow, but that doesn't make it any less tragic.

Thanks for the kind words.
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:iconinufan225:
inufan225 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
This is one of those pieces where you realize the effect the world has on children. The things the world takes away from them, the things it gives back, and the things that will stay the same.

Unfortunately, this is one of those bittersweet pieces of all three.

This is beautiful, thank you for sharing. :+fav:
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
Thank you so much for the kind words.
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:icon48tuesdays:
48Tuesdays Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
Amazing. I aspire to write such beauty. I am speechless.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
Thank you so much for the kind words.
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:icongary-cook:
Gary-Cook Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
very moving. I feel as though you captured a lot of childhoods (and their endings) in one piece. You brought me back there for a moment, which makes it that much sadder that we can never go back.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
Thank you so much for the kind words.
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:iconlairy:
lairy Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
Simply lovely. This means so much to me and yet I've never experienced it. Imagination will never leave me, even if my surroundings change. I'm glad you wrote this.

<3
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
I'm glad that you're glad ;'b . Thanks so much for the kind words and support.
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:icondavismarie:
DavisMarie Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
This is just beyond words. :+favlove:
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
Thank you. I'm so glad you liked it.
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:iconnasha-yakushi:
Nasha-Yakushi Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
This is a beautiful story beautify written. I'm sorry you play place was destroyed. I too have a place where I like to go, and I’m planning on buying it so I can preserve this joy.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
You are very lucky. I wish I would have had an opportunity to preserve this field.

Thank you also for the kind words.
Reply
:iconnasha-yakushi:
Nasha-Yakushi Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you for sharing you memories with us.
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:icongaianbells:
GaianBells Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
It transports the reader back to childhood. Even if I never got to play in nature as a kid, I am still touched. Wonderful work.
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:icondarlingdante:
DarlingDante Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2008
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Reply
:iconcrashmisery:
CrashMisery Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
The whole things is brilliant, but these lines were the icing on the cake, really.


"Where the overhead hum of power lines cursing the heat of summer was the only thread we used to find our way back home."

"...where we listened to the wind whisper those secret things that had to be tapped out in tree branches to be understood."
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