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Will sculpt for food
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It's strange seeing my random favorites. Sometimes it'll be a picture of a squished spider and sometimes it'll be a picture of a burning piece of paper, what does that mean? It means you're all crazy to be taking pictures of dead spiders and burning perfectly good pieces of paper!
Now's your chance to get a sweet ass custom action figure to pose in all sorts of dynamic and compromising positions. I'm a starving artist willing to create anything, drop me a note so we can hammer out the details.
Every job is different, so here's an estimate of what a commission will cost:
•LABOR Usually this is $50 minimum. The more complex the figure is the higher the price. However, the less complex the figure the cheaper it will be. I won't nickel and dime you, I don't charge for glue, lunch, etc.
Lately I've been sculpting masked wrestler heads, I can do similar gigs for $15 to $20.
•PARTS I can order parts and add it to the total, or you can supply them for no charge. If I have useful parts in my fodder pile, I can supply them for a reasonable cost.
•SHIPPING You pay all shipping charges, you choose what service to use.
PAYMENT Half the total is due up front, the rest is due before I ship the figure to you.
I'd rather get paid through Paypal. Using the Friends and Family option is appreciated so I don't get hit with fees, but it isn't required.
Money Orders from the USPS are good too.
I also accept cash and wagons full of jewels and hot mermaids.
Favorite bands / musical artistsDio, Sarah McLachlan, Royal Thunder, Djerv, The Donnas, Bad Religion, Gin Wigmore, Wolfmother, Marcela Bovio, Bruce Dickinson, Gem and the Deadheads, Ruby Hatchet, Puta Volcano, Eternal Champion, T Bird and the BreaksFavorite writersBen Thompson (BadassOfTheWeek.com)Favorite gamesCollectible Card GamesFavorite gaming platformPC, HandheldsTools of the TradeHands and other fleshy bitsOther InterestsRedheads, sculpting, music, revenge, fiddling with stuff
Between Twitter trolls, zealots and fake news tainting our information, it's hard to tell who someone really is. Often it feels like life itself is a game of kayfabe; pretending, ignoring, fighting accusations. Who we are changes depending on who's whispering our name, and everyone is talking about THE LEGIT BOSS, Sasha Banks!
Let's kick things off with Sasha's bangin' theme song. It's an infectious, and dare I say introspective, synth symphony that suits The Boss perfectly. It's easily among the top 5 WWE superstar intros, and the piano version is so touching it'll leave you bawling (check it out at the end of this post, I need your eyes clear of tears so you can read the review!).
For collectors, packaging is as important as the figure itself, and I think this package toes the line by looking good at any angle and giving us easy access to the figure. The "RAW" tags change color and graphics depending on what roster the superstar is in. The red nametag and backdrop stay the same, creating uniformity even between rosters, though changing the colors there would look good too.
The Boss is packed wearing most of her gear, to show it off and maximize her star power. The pose works, but I think it would look even better if the fig was posed with swishing hips, to also show off its articulation.
When "Sasha Banks" isn't letting everyone in the ring know what time it is, she transforms into Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado, a soft-spoken girl who likes anime, drinking hot sauce, and making us weepy with tear-jerking interviews.
Considering there has to be heavy parts reuse to cut costs, I think this collection of lean parts works for Sasha. The figure is even still in scale with other WWE Elite figs, something which Mattel has been meticulous about. Sure, it's disappointing that things like the belt and arm wrap aren't sculpted, but having generic parts is the trade-off to keep these figures at a $20 price point instead of $27.
(Pay no attention to the 6-foot Madison Rayne and Molly Holly below, they aren't part of the WWE Elite/Basic lines.)
Earlier in her career, Mercedes KV won the Chaotic Wrestling Women's Championship and defended it tirelessly for almost a year against all on-comers. She finally relinquished it only after having earned entry to WWE's NXT.
Much like with many of the other WWE figs, the superstar's likeness is there in the head sculpt, and I especially like this smirky Sasha. But lighting changes how it appears, and it's further botched by the bad paint apps. The high hairline is accurate, but I can understand complaints about how this makes it look like a wig. I separated the hair from the head to see if it was misaligned, but that's as snug as the factory fit gets.
The hand positions look good holding the knuckledusters, or even performing a crossface if you can manage it, but they look awkward otherwise. Just make sure The Boss is always holding something (like the NXT Women's Championship) and it should be fine.
Sasha Banks has been in multiple "firsts" matches in women's wrestling. The first Ironwoman match, Women's Elimination Chamber match and Women's Royal Rumble, just to name a few of her historic feats.
Being an Elite Collection release, fans expect extra goodies in the box for their extra bucks, so Mattel included all of Sasha's signature gear with this fig:
A delicate "BOSS" necklace
A pair of "LEGIT BOSS" knuckledusters
A pair of hot pink shutter-shades
And her studded jacket that I think has been around since as early as 2013. But just like The Boss, it never goes out of style.
Clip the bling bars to her jacket, like a pair of mittens, so they don't get lost haha.
The Boss can be seen wearing this orange/white business attire in matches throughout 2015, like the 8/17 RAW where as NXT Women's Champion she double-knee-stomped the Bella twin that was the Queen Butterfly Diva at the time (or whatever her title was).
Another was the supercharged Fatal 4-Way on RAW 11/02 with Becky, Paige, and Brie where even though she was part of the entire match, the audience still cried out for MORE Sasha, MORE SASHA!, because there's never enough Sasha Banks!
At the first ever women's Hell in a Cell match (2016), a classless Charlotte ambushed Sasha before the match began, picking her off the cage and power-bombing her through an announcer's table. Just as Sasha was about to have her title stripped and be hospitalized for what was most likely a cracked spine, she clawed her way off the stretcher like a raging Lazarus, and back into the ring, determined to show Charlotte Hell on Earth.
Based on pics floating around, she's also worn this outfit at live shows as recently as 2017. It comes in a few other colors, but I especially like this orange/white version because it's reminiscent of Tails, Sonic the Hedgehog's little buddy. Look at the boots and tell me those don't look like the fur tufts on his cheeks. Mercedes's 2 initials of her married name are "MT" for "Miles, Tails" And her last name rhymes with "Tornado"!
...don't judge me.
Sasha is totes NOT jealous that Bailey got to watch Eddie Guererro beat Brock Lesnar to win the WWE Heavyweight Championship at No Way Out 2004.
The flexible jacket is hard to put on because the sleeves are so thick, probably for child safety reasons...in a $20 figure line aimed at adult collectors. (At ages 8+, but you get the point!) Also, don't be surprised if the arms and torso become a floppy mess after struggling to put the jacket on and off, a lot of stress is put on those joints during the process.
WARNING: It's Rant Time!
Why haven't toy companies figured out how to make good looking cloth clothes for action figures? Barbies and Hot Toys dolls can look amazing, why can't Mattel take a similar template and shrink it to fit these figures? Where are all the amazing specialized techno-fabrics that were supposed to take the world by storm?
Even if it has to be a hybrid jacket, like a fabric base with rubbery studded panels glued to it, that's still way better than rendering the figure immobile with restrictive gear. Sometimes stiff clothes work, but not in this case.
Then again, look how expensive Mezco's clothed One:12 Collective 6-inch figures are, with costs soaring in the range of $90 per figure! Hm, maybe I should shut my yapper.
Let's unleash this like a shotgun dropkick; The paint apps on this fig suck. The silver studs are off their mark, the jacket's studs are non-existent, the eyes are floating off on their own, there's orange paint peeling off the knee pads, the outfit is supposed to be pearl orange and white instead of flat, etc. They're common complaints that pop up in reviews across the entire toy line.
The workers at the toy factory are given masks/templates to get precise results, but it's frustratingly common to see misaligned and fuzzy paint jobs, not only on WWE figs but all mass produced toy lines. It gets to the point where I'd rather Mattel just drop the prices and include the templates in the package to have us paint them ourselves. If it's an issue with tampography, maybe give the workers a quick reminder every so often of how they're supposed to apply it. I don't know what else can be done about this, for now we have to put up with it.
None of the accessories are painted, they're all molded in their color. So is the hair, which makes it look like a cotton candy wig. It needs a dark wash to recreate the dark roots of Sasha's actual hair.
To lighten the mood, I've read that upcoming WWE figures will use "face printing technology", which essentially means the difference between making things like facial hair look like stubble or dried peanut butter. It's actually old technology, but it's the first time we'll be seeing it on Mattel's WWE figures and it's a welcome update.
I promise, I try my hardest to like the action figures I buy (because I did pay for them after all), but they keep letting me down. My Sasha fig had a floppy ab joint after fighting with the jacket, so I cracked open the lower torso to learn how it works and fix it. I'm annoyed and disappointed at what I found.
For a while now I've been saying that Mattel could probably save some money and improve articulation by getting rid of the waist swivel and using a barbell joint to connect the upper and lower torso (similar to Hasbro's Marvel Legends female figures). Well, guess what, there's a giant ball in the lower torso that does exactly that, but it's locked in place by a thick post so it can't swivel. This doesn't make sense to me. The only thing I can think of for this is that there's some kind of safety or structural reason for it to be this way. However, that's bogus because other toy companies have been using the barbell joint successfully for years now. After removing the post and hollowing out some of the torso to let the ball rotate, I don't notice any problems.
To be fair, there are regulations toy companies are required to stick to when designing their products, rules that ruggedly-handsome renegade customizers like myself don't have to follow.
The other joints work as well as we could expect. Single-hinge elbows and knees, no wrist hinges and non-rocking ankles do their best to achieve interesting poses, but the best they can manage is The Boss's signature stance. Savor the small victories! I'm sure you can bust out some wrestling moves too with some creative posing, like a Nia-assisted Diving Meteora.
Well, a Diving Double Stomp is just as good.
You're going to need to find a more poseable opponent to recreate the Bank Statement, none of the female WWE figures can bend enough to make it convincing.
I should also note that initially the legs would only spread outward, I had to boil them to loosen whatever gunk was keeping the rubbery ball-sleeves locked in place, but now we're back in business.
All the faults with this figure don't make me comfortable recommending it at full price. At $10 to $12 bucks though? Sure! Head over to Ringside Collectibles and pick one up today! They're currently having a Summer Sale so stuff that shopping cart.
(I don't get any money from promoting RC, I've simply had a good experience every time I've ordered from them.)
Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss squared off in the first ever women's wrestling match to take place in the United Arab Emirates. Setting records, respecting other cultures, breaking societal chains and giving hope to everyone, it's just another day in the life of The Boss.