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Where have I been???

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 19, 2009, 12:39 PM


Hey everybody.

I have a lot to tell you guys.

Some of you already know I can write lengthy posts and journal entries as a matter of course and without really breaking a sweat. In this case, so much has happened that has changed my life, and I have been 'artist-incognito' for so long (nearly 3 months now since I was last seriously active on my page or in the forums), that to relate it all to you, even in an abridged form, will make this a novella by the time I'm done. For those not disposed to reading long posts, my apologies. But, honestly, a lot has happened, and I want to... I need to, tell you guys about it.

To begin with, I was laid off my job about three months ago. As a severence package, my boss gave me 2 weeks pay, allowed me to keep a $1500 laptop which he bought that I had been using at work, and paid my internet bill (which had been set up on the company account so that I could have access to a very high speed connection at home) for the last 3 months. Now, the actual effect of this on my and Laura's life was dramatic. Our income was cut from around 1400 a week, to around 650 a week. We were not living beyond our means at the higher level of income, but we were paying bills and so forth at a level which exceeded our toal monthly income from my wife's job. So it hurt, bad, when he let me go.

Despite that fact, I don't harbor any ill will towards him. I've been in the decorated apparel industry for nearly 20 years, and owned and operated my own screenprinting shop. I knew as much about the reality of his business as relates to cash flow, cash reserves, credit availability, etc. as he or his accountant did, and my boss knew it.

When the bottom fell out of the economy last October, he took a huge hit. Over the last 8 or 9 months, he's borrowed heavily for the sole purpose of underwriting his business. So heavily, in fact, that he really has no borrowing power left until he pays down the loans he's taken out up to this point. For those who don't understand how this affects his business, what he is doing is called "leveraging" his business. He has burried his company in debt, similar to the way the government runs. A big part of his monthly income must be used to service his debt load. That money cannot be used to fund operations, buy stock, or cover payroll. It is entirely possible to kill a business by leveraging it too heavilly. In my boss's case, he'll be fine as long as his total annual  revenues do not drop any more than they already have.

But the sad reality, for him and me, is that his business's income is down by almost 35% over the last 9 months. By the end of the company's fiscal year this year, he'll be looking at the worst loss and worst year for his company since it was founded. He's been making cuts in personnel and expenditures over the entire year since January.

The honest truth is I believe he carried me far longer than his business, or his check book, could justify.

Most of you know I sing in a working rock band. My band has been playing gigs and recording an album all this year. About 4 or 5 months ago, I began to experience severe pain in my right foot any time I stood on it for long periods. Long periods such as practice sessions, or live performances. Now, for several months, I was able to contiue to perform and practice. But, the pain was steadily getting worse. After practice one day in May, my foot sort of seized as I was driving home. The pain was excruciating, and I has to pull off the road because I couldn't drive. A trip which normally took about 40 minutes took me 5 hours to get home.

When I took of my shoe and sock, my foot and lower calf were blue and purple, cold, and hard to the touch. A week or so before this happened, I had mentioned the pain to my GP doctor, and she had set me up with an appointment to be seen by a veacular surgeon she respected and trusted. Then my foot got seriously bad on the way home from band practice. Since it was only 3 days until the appoitment, and since I had no clue how bad my foot actually was, we decided to see if I could wait it out until the appointment.

That lasted for almost 2 days before I simply was unable to endure the pain. I finally went to the emergency room, and they immediately called my GP, who told them the name of the vascular surgeon I was going to see. He rushed in, took one look at my foot for about 10 seconds, and immediately sent me to surgery. 15 monutes later, I was shaved, naked and unconcious on an operating table. He had told Laura and me that he was going to try and save my foot, which he said had been oxygen starved for more than 48 hours.

I woke up in the ICU ward and thankfully, still had 2 feet. My surgeon said he was very happy with the results. I was in the hospital for 5 days, went home, and began the healing process. All seemed well.

Until one night, 3 weeks after the surgery. I woke up in agony. My foot was again blue and purple, ice cold and completely numb, except for the intense pain it was sending to my brain via the damaged nerves in the foot. We didn't wait this time. I went to the emergecy room that night. My surgeon was called again. He came in and immediately put me in surgery a second time. This time he cut me, about 6 inches, in the groin where my right leg meets my abdomen, near the area where the femeral artery is located. He used both intrevenous "clot-busting" medicine, an arterial baloon, and an arterial scraper to completely scour my arterial system from the groin to the knee.

That's right; 2 major surgeries in less than a month. Additionally, I've now had 3 major surgeries, including the one I had 2 and a half years ago where they cut my stomach open from my pubes to my breast bone. That was a 15 inch incision (what the hospital staff jokingly refers to as a "zipper"), for a procedure where they took all my internal organs out of my body and laid them on the table all around me. Despite that fact, I have to tell you I have never in my life experienced pain like what I felt in my groin where he cut me during the first week to ten days after I woke up in recovery. I won't even try to describe it. There simply are no words.

I spent the first week of recovery in a drug induced haze, bombed out of my mind on Dylaudid. For the last month, I've been taking a steady diet of Norcotabs (10 mg codine per tab) to the tune of 8 to 10 tablets a day. Without the pain pills, I am unable to do anything...ANYTHING... at all, because of the pain. I know this because the pills only help the pain for about 3 and a half to 4 hours per dose. I sleep about 6 to 7 hours each night, which is long enough for the codiene to be completely cycle out of my system. So each morning I wake up in white hot, blinding agony. So bad that I frequently start my morning with both the standard good long pee, and a round of barfing my guts out because of thr pain. I have to sit, and basicly DO NOTHING, until the pain pills kick in and knock the pain back to a bearable level.

I have an appointment to see a pain management specialist in about 3 weeks. In the mean time, a hemotologist my surgeon called in to consult on my case has discovered I have a congenital blood defect that causes my blood to coagulate at 4-6 times the normal rate. It is believed by my medical team that this is at least half of the reason why my legs are clotting so badly for a man of my age (47). They are continuing to test my blood to dicover if there is any treatable condition which they can specificly target which will help prevent this from continuing to happen to me as I age. In the mean time, I am on blood thinners, and have my blood viscosity tested every week. I am getting doppler tests twice a month, because they don't know if the clots are going to happen again and again and... - you get the picture.

My surgeon has promised he will keep me stocked in codeine until I see the pain management doctor, unless I show any signs of dependancy. He has also added a second pain reliever which is non-addictive, which is designed to target the neuropathy that he believes is causing the pain in my foot. I'm on a low dose of that right now, and am suppossed to tell my doctor if it helps. After a week, I've begun to take double the prescribed doseage each day, and it still isn't having any noticeable affect.

During all of this, my wife; Laura, working all on her own, located a house for us to rent that will cost us almost exactly half of what we are paying now. It's 10 miles out of town, in a neighborhood that looks like a place where the residents have moved in order to get "off the grid". It's less than a quarter of a mile from a large lake, out in the woods, and away from anything that could be construed as "in town". Luara was worried I would feel like it was a bad neighborhood or that I would not like the house. I love both. It suits my artistic temperament perfectly. She is intensely relieved, and I cannot wait to move.

Finally, about 2 weeks ago, the bassist in my band seemed to suffer some kind of melt down. He came into practice one day and demanded that he be made leader of the band, and that we only record and perform music he had composed or would be composing in the future. In additon to this, he was writing really ugly, mean-spirited emails to me and one other member of the band, telling us not to get in his way as he took over the band, and threatening to fire us if we gave him any flack.

I haven't been to a band practice in almost 2 months now. I got most of this second hand by phone and email.

Wel, after the hysterical laughter died down, the band basicly told the bassist to go piss up a rope. At which point he quit the band. North central Texas has like 12 or 13 universities and colleges all located within a hundred mile wide circle, and has a really strong music scene. So the band took this in stride, and started hunting up a replacement bassist. UNTIL... out of the blue, 3 days later, our lead guitarist emailed the band and said he was quittig too. His reasons were more pragmatic. His wife got laid off, and until she found another job, he was going to have to take double shifts at his job to help keep their train on the tracks.

What do you say to that? Well, we wished him well, and all gave him a hug. Not a lot else you can do.

With 2 key players gone in less than a week, I decided, after having talked it over with Laura, that I needed to quit also, because of the fact that I am likely to spend the next 3 to 6 months dealing with these issues regarding my vascualr system. I haven't mentioned it to this point, but in my last doppler exam, he located an apporximately 70% blockage oin the main artery feeding blood to my left arm. Barrign a miracle, I'll be back on an operating table in about 3 or 4 weeks.

I knew, if their ever came a conflict between getting my medical problems fixed, or meeting a commitment for the band, I was going to choose my health over the band. I didn't want to let them down that way, so the only possible, honorable thing I could do was quit and let them find a singer the could count on.

So, my band; Alternate Energy, is no more, and the album will never be made. And just quickly, for those that don't know; this is typical for bands. Happens all the time. It sucks, but you get used to it and try not to let it get you down too much. Starting a band is hard. Keeping a band together for longer than a few months is WAY hard. Not sure why, exactly, but I do know it's the way things work with local bands. I've been playing sem-professionally in bands since I was about 20 years old. In the 27 years since, I've had one band last for 4 years (my best band), and one last for about 2 years (also a great band)... the rest (like maybe 15 to 20 other bands that I've joined and tried to help get going) all went bust for various reasons, in less than a year. And, more often than not, in less than half a year.

So, as you can see from this insanely long journal post, I've had my proverbial hands full the last 3 months. That is why I have almost totally absent from DA. I've stopped by now and then, and answered a few emails, but you guys all know I normally chat it up here a lot, and post in the forums almost on a daily basis. I missed all that while dealing with my health issues, and look forward to getting back to being deeply and happilly involved on the site.

There is more that has happened in my complicated, messy (but never boring) life these past 3 or 4 months... almost all of it good and interesting. But I'm going to save that for my next journal entry. I make this one any longer, and you guys will have to set aside an hour of your time just to read it.

I miss you guys. Miss the site. I'll be back and chatting it up the minute my health and circumstances will allow.

Take care... stay creative... kand always remember to have fun doing your art, and I'll see you all soon.

Darkmir

  • Listening to: New stuff to learn to play on guitar
  • Reading: Need something new to read
  • Watching: All kinds of free stuff online...
  • Playing: at being an adult
  • Eating: a little less 'cus I'm blowed up
  • Drinking: too much coffee, not enough tea and such...
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsiteline6:
SiteLine6 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
wow
:jawdrop:
Reply
:iconsiteline6:
SiteLine6 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
wow
:jawdrop:
Reply
:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
lol...
Reply
:iconsiteline6:
SiteLine6 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
so how are you doing now?
I just got around to cleaning up all the old posts I collected while my system was down!
just got to read this one!
Reply
:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Not to bad... a lot to tell since we last chatted.

My band broke up. I have a new band started called NO BONES. I went throught the 2 surgeries I descrubed in the journal. Leg is doing ok. Not perfect but much better.

Getting by, Grim.

Yourself?
Reply
:iconsiteline6:
SiteLine6 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
well that's sounding better anyhow! what you described sounded rather dire to say the least.
As for me I'm living in a construction zone and have been all summer, I've more or less gutted (old plaster/lathe/old clothwarp wiring) and redid (drywall/wiring/insulation) 3/5 of my apartment. not much fun as I'm living in a perpetual state of heavy drywall dust, to top it off this year has been steady steady rain.
The whole summer we've never had more then 3 days without it. and most times heavy down pours. For me that means I'm laid up. I have arthritis in all my joints and when the barometric pressure changes AkA rains I'm crippled up to a point all I can do is eat anti-inflammatory pills and stay down! Normally April and October are the rainy months. I can handle them pretty much as it's only a 30 day sprint and then I'm good for rest of the summer and winter. So I've not been in the greatest of shape myself.
It seems every year these days it gets a little bit worse!
so it's been "interesting" summer for me as well.
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:iconmayumiogihara:
MayumiOgihara Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I wish you all the luck and good recovery.
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks very much...;)
Reply
:iconsara-fangbanger666:
sara-fangbanger666 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2009
wow, i'm really sorry about your foot, your band, and your job.
But since it's always darkest before the dawn, i think things will begin to turn around for you in a bit. :/
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
;)
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:iconartbeat48:
Artbeat48 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2009
Holy F--- Robert, I was wondering where you were, and my hope was that you were so busy with the band and art that you were on hiatus from DA. I never imagined and certainly hoped that it was nothing like you described in your journal. I am sorry and I send you well wishes, light, love and laughter in hopes for a speedy and sustained recovery. :hug:
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Very kind, Artbeat.

I appreciate the well wishes more than I have words for.
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:iconroxettethefox:
roxettethefox Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I wish everything gets better.
Reply
:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
It is... slowly but surely...

Thanks for the kind words.
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:iconimaginee:
imaginee Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2009
After reading the comment you left for Armin, I wanted to write to you and say I wish you all the best and hope you get to truly enjoy your art...I had no idea what you had been through until I read your journal.

It must of felt like you were in a nightmare to wake up to such pain. As I was reading the above all I could think about is your pain and how you should be on a med that doesn't wear off! I'm so sorry for all you have gone through and will keep you and your wife Laura in my prayers.
Reply
:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks so much for the kinds words.
Reply
:iconraisinlove:
raisinlove Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I wish you luck, I'm confident things will only get better, as slowly as that might happen. I've been through some layoffs before (that whole dot.com bubble burst thing) and went through some stress. Keeping the creative spark alive is what will keep you going.
Reply
:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Funny thing is, this lay off might turn out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. Now, with all the physical/medical crap, it is unlikely I will make a serious effort to return to the work force. We've contacted a lawyer and begun the process of my applying for SSDI. if that comes through, I'm done with 9 to 5.

Which will leave me free to do art for the sake of my inspiration and passion for the first time in 25 years, with no thought of deadlines or client interference, and to work on my music as much as I want to. Both of these things can possibly generate income for Laura and I, and doign thsi will make me as happy a man as I have ever been, which Laura will welcome, I am sure.

So, you find good news where your not looking sometimes, I guess.

Me? I'll take it any way I can get it!...;)
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:iconarminmersmann:
arminmersmann Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Robert I was in a very good mood until I read your journal, I just told my coworker to go “fuck up a rope” for some reason…….

Seriously its one of lifes big kick in the asses and the old adage what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger has to be a beacon in the dark for you. Talking musicians, vascular problems, and the like, my “friend” I’m really not name dropping here, Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull had this happen to him on a tour in Australia, it was two years of hell for him and he couldnt fly back to the UK for a half year (air pressure). It was a mess but he is good as new and in the same band for 40 years. (I think he has a whole story about this on their website.

I wish you a good recover my friend and looking forward to you work, your music and your words

Armin
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
You know, it's funny.

In real life, I say; "fuck up a rope" also, whenever I employ that epithet. I thought it might not fly here on DA, and so edited myself.

Thanks tons for the kinds words, Armin.
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:icondojang:
Dojang Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
geh. guess that's a little better than being an extreme haemopheliac...(that's the one where you prick your finger and bleed out, right? i forget...)

that's really messed up, man. aside from the obvious responses- (i.e. congrats on new place, sorry to hear you got laid off...etc.)- i'm sure you'll find your balance. you seem to be a pretty awesome guy, and anyone who can talk about that kind of surgery without using capital letters or repetition for emphasis must have their head screwed on tight. make sure you let the community here know if you need a hand.
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Since we moved to Texas, our social network has, as you might expect, sort of collapsed. We lived in the central Florida area for ages, and everyone we know and love is still there. But a few really great people have stepped up to offer us help and, more importantly, true freindship during these tough times. As I am sure you can appreciate, a true friend or two is more important and more of an aid than a lot of bullshit offers of assitance you know isn't really meant. And, of course, our family and real friends from Florida have sent well wishes and real help form back home, so it's been pretty cool, all things considered.

It's swinging back around to the good, slowly but surely, Doj. I know it's gonna get better,and laua and i are already talking about the cool things we want to do together when this is all behind us.

My nexy journal entry will be dedicated to describing a whole bunch of whacky, cool stuff that has also happened for us while i've been dealing with all this medical crap. Make sure to check that out in a couple of weeks.

Thansk for all the kinds words, Doj. Laura and I really appreciate it.
Reply
:icondojang:
Dojang Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009
(laughs) no sweat, man. honest words cost me nothing at all.

man, i only realised yesterday how much i missed your forum posts. once you sorta vanished, i stopped going there at all.
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Keep a weather eye out. I'll be back soon...
Reply
:iconcatwalksymphony:
Catwalksymphony Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
I'm so glad to hear it hasn't been all bad, and will certainly be looking forward to your good news too! I'll be hoping for that miracle. You certainly don't deserve the amount of pain you're in.
Reply
:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks so much for the thoughts, cat.

Laura and I appreciate it more than we can say.

And yep! Make sure oyu check in for my nexy journal, cuz a whole bunch of cool stuff has somehow managedto happen as all this medial crap has been going on. It's been kind of crazy, but also kind of cool to see it happen.

Thanks again for your kind words.
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:iconbeatn1k:
beatn1k Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009  Professional General Artist
I'm not even sure what to say man, sounds like you are having quite the time. I wish ya speedy recovery, and after all that, i agree with retsudo, you gotta have some good karma speeding your way.

I wish ya the best dude. :ahoy:
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Kinda feels like thw good karma stuff si already coming my way, beat. My next journal will be more about a lot of way cool stuff that has been happening as all this medical crap has been going down. Check back in for that one as well.

I really appreciate all the kind words, beat.
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:iconlsdrake:
LSDrake Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
I'm glad you're back and here's to hoping a swift return of your health and all the worst is behind you now. :ahoy:

I know second-hand about bands forming and breaking up. I've lost count of how many my good friend has formed and/or joined a band. Along with many other friends who formed and/or joined bands. I have yet to see a band they were in last more than a year with them in it.


Looking forward to your next journal entry. :nod:
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Man, don't you know it! I used to get totally pissed about bands breaking up. Now, after 30 years in the game, I know it's something you just have to accept. I fail, to this day, to understand completely why that is the case, but I can tell you it ain't worth losing your mind over.

A really good sounding, all original progressive rock band somehow got wind that my band is no more. Day before yesterday I got an email from them inviting me to audition for their group as lead singer.

Ain't life a pip?

Thanks for the kind words, my friend. I appreciate it a lot.
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:iconcelestriastars:
celestriastars Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
I wondered what had happened to you. Wow....I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through such a bad time. Being in that much pain constantly must be so draining. I hope that the pain management specialist will be able to find something to help, but it's good that your doctor is letting you stay on pain meds until then. It's a shame you had to quit your band as it's obvious that it's something that gives you a lot of joy, but your health does need to come first. Hopefully, the vascular and pain issues will get figured out soon and you'll be able to get back to it.

I know this has probably been really hard on your wife as well. Sounds like the house she found is in a great spot and I'm glad to know that some positive things have been happening for you as well.

Sending positive thoughts your way and wishing you the best. You and your wife deserve some great things happening after all of this.
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Laura has been a rock. Without her, I don't even want to think about where I'd be emotionally mnd mentally right now. I constantly try to give her as uch of my love and attention as I can. So far she seems to be handling it all okay, but I keep an eye on her all the time. I know how going through this while someone you love suffers can affect you.

All the medical crap I'm dealing with is a work in progress for sure. It's like I hit a cetain stage in life, and my vascular system just went straight to hell. But my surgeon is a really great guy. If you talk to him, it's like he's taken all this totally personally. He is ona mission to fix me up completely before he is done. I've never trusted a doctor the way I trust this guy.

A lot of positive things have also happened during thsi time, for me and for us as a couple. In my next journal, I'm going to concentrate on those things more. Check back when it's posted.

Thanks a bunch for all the kind words, celest. Laura and I really apreciate it.
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:iconcelestriastars:
celestriastars Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009
My husband got very, very sick last summer. 8 weeks of non-stop diarrhea, started to pass blood, he lost over 30 lbs. and after tons of lab work the doctor still didn't have a clue other than it wasn't salmonella, giardia, etc. Needless to say I was scared for my husband and I had to be strong for him - not let him know how worried I really was. Finally the GP says, maybe you have colitis and refers him to a specialist. Thankfully, the specialist is like your surgeon and he got my hubby taken care of. He's wonderful about checking up himself (not an assistant) and when he says they will schedule an appt that's exactly what happens. A good doctor makes all the difference in the world and yours sounds like a great one! The world needs way more doctors like that.

I'll be watching for your next journal post and am really hoping you are feeling better soon. Your thought provoking posts and honest critiques are missed!!!

BTW - my tiny little Border Collie is also named Laura (picture of her dock diving [link] )and she's probably got more heart and guts than the rest of my Border Collies put together. Must be something special about Laura's whether they are two footed or four footed. :D
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
My kids are grown and gone. I have 4 grandkids now.

Laura and decided not to have anymore kids. She's 38, I'm 47. She thought she wanted a child fo her own, but several weekends watching ym grandkids changed her mind on that.

We have two AKC pugs, one is 5 years old, the other 3 months old. Both are sassy, spoiled, full of personality, an love us to pieces.

They are our kids now.

Your Laura looks like she's a real spitfire.

Which is only fitting, I suppose.

So is mine...;)
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:iconcelestriastars:
celestriastars Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2009
Wow! Four grandkids! I'm your age and my two boys are 18 & 22. They aren't gone yet and I don't even want to think about grandkids. The hubby and I are plotting on what to do with the boys bedrooms when they do leave ;)

That is really interesting that you have Pugs. My Laura absolutely hates Pugs for some reason. When I was showing her everytime we saw one at a show she'd go ballistic. The one time when the BC ring was right next to the Pug ring I had to pick her up and carry her around while we waited to show because she was having fits. No idea why she's got a thing about Pugs, but BC's are known for their strange little quirks! Pugs are very cute little dogs though.

We've got four BCs living with me (which is a lot like having a houseful of 3-4 yr olds) and a couple of others that I co-own that I babysit from time to time.
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:iconnhy:
NHY Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
Wow, that's a lot to take in 3 months! I was wondering where you went, too.

I'm sorry that all that happened to you, it just the way things are, I guess. I wouldn't be too worried about a job or a band, your health is more important right now.

Good Luck and get well soon.
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
You are so right. Going through this kind of stuff really helps you to focus on what is actually worth you worrying about. For me, it is all about my wife, and our life together. I know I'm going to get better, and eventually get back to where I'm just living my life and not dealing with all this. So my attitude is good.

I may not ever work at a day job again, but I have made a lving in the past freelancing from home, so I'll be able to contribute to our income and not be a total burden to Laura. Music is a passion for me, and I'll get back to it as soon as I can, but you are correct that I have bigger fish to fry at the moment!

Thanks for the kind words, N... I really appreciate it.
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:iconnhy:
NHY Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009
No problem as always. ;)
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:iconmaxwell-heza:
maxwell-heza Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
Wow, you've certainly had a lot happen recently! Sounds far more interesting than my life! I hope you're all fine and dandy soon and I'm rather fascinated by the whole "took-all-the-organs-out-of-my-body" thing. What was that for? Were they just playing Operations?
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Max,

The surgery I mentioned was to correct an abdomenal aortic annurism and obstruction. The abdomenal aorta feeds blood to both legs and to the lower organs in the abdomen. Mine was 95% blocked a few inches above where it splits and becomes the femural arteries in each leg.

The abdomenal aorta lies right next to the spine inside the abdomenal cavity. To get to it, the sourgeons have to take out all the stuff inside my gut. So, they cut me open like a fish, and pulled out all my organs and laid them on the table beside my body. For a while I must have looked like a dead body that was being autopsied. After they had me open and empty, they cut out about a two inch piece of the aorta, and replaced it with a fibrous tube called a stent. This is a flexible replacement for a vein or an artery and comes in various sizes. I also now have one in my right leg, which helps maintain the blood flow in the femural artery that feeds blood to my right leg. In about a month, I'll undergo another surgery on my left arm to correct a 70% blockage of the blood flow there. They'll put another stent in for that procedure as well.

Thanks for the kind words, Max. I appreciate it a lot.
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:iconmaxwell-heza:
maxwell-heza Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2009
Blimey that sounds pretty incredible.

Feel better <3
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks...;)

Keep a weather eye out for my next journal entry. A lot of really cool stuff has happened in the last couple of months as well.
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:iconpixlphantasy:
PixlPhantasy Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow thats a lot for three months. I may not talk to you a lot but I have noticed your absence but figured you were working on your band stuff as you had mentioned before.

Sorry to hear about your recent woes but glad to hear you are working on getting things back on track. Take care of yourself and visit when you can. :huggle: Look forward to seeing you grace the forums once again.
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
I want to let you know that I've been contacted by several deviants that know you. All nice people, and a few of them now watch me. My guess is you've been saying nice things about me behind my back, Pix. If so, I appreciate it more than I can say. For the record, I say nice things about you, as well...;)

A lot, yes, but I'm getting through it okay. I feel a little better each week, and even though I am not done dealing with this (have another surgery, on my left arm, to clear a blaockage there, coming up in about a month), I see where this is going to leave me in better shape when it's all said and done. I'll have some physical limitations to deal with for the rest o my life, but nothing that will prevent Laura and me from having an ebjoyable life together.

A lot of good stuff has also appened in the last few months. Check back for my next hournal to read about those things. I'm going to get back in the groove here on DA slowly, but I'll be positng more and putting up some new art more andmore over the next several months.

Thanks for the kind words, Pix. I really appreciate it.
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:iconpixlphantasy:
PixlPhantasy Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
:XD: Well i certainly look forward to hearing more from you. Physical limitations are merely obstacles to make you see things in a different manner. You definately have the attitude to meet them head on. :) :hug:
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:iconstampingqueen:
stampingqueen Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow... all I can say is take care of yourself and that I will keep you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers. I hope they are able to fix you up and get you a more tolerated form of pain management. It takes so much out of you when the pain is that bad. After our motorcycle accident last year I learned how rough it can be. I had 2 children with no drugs and thought I knew what pain was. I had no clue. After breaking 5 ribs, my heel my wrist and bruising almost every part of me that moved and being awake through a chest tube insertion, I learned that having kids with no drugs is a natural, easy walk in the park.

I hope all gets better for you. Many good thoughts, lots of positive energy and well wishes sent to you and your wife.
:hug:
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
It's a little misleading, I guess, to give so much information in a digest form like my journal. It seems like everything is bad, when in fact, I am on the mend, and feeling a little better every week. I atill have issues to address, and face learning to live with physical limitations for the rest fo my life, but nothing that would prevent my wife and me from having a very enjoyable life together.

My next journal will be more aimed at relating a whole bunch of really cool, positive things (like the fact that an amazing, all original progressive rock band somehow found out I am no longer with Alternate Energy, and sent me an email inviting me to audition as the lead singer for their band!) that have happened as all this surgical stuff has been going on. I hope you read that one too!

Thanks so much for the kind words. Laura and I appreciate them a great deal.
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:iconstampingqueen:
stampingqueen Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I will of course read follow up journals :D Glad to hear that you, like my husband and I, have a positive outlook and are on the mend. I always say, that as one door closes another always opens. Things all happen for a reason and the road ahead is the adventure we all crave. :hug: Rest well and glad to see you back.
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:iconlord-retsudo:
Lord-Retsudo Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Holy shit, dude. You must be due some real avalance of good karma soon after that heap of dung :(

Prayers and best wishes all round to you and yours, and stay in touch, always. Feel free to email me any old time, it's on my DA homepage.
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:icondarkmir:
Darkmir Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Actually Chaz, a whole lot fo really cool, positivr stuff HAS happened as all this was going on. It juat so happens that at this very moment, I need to go lie down and rest a bit, but if you'll bear with me, I'll send you a post telling you about it all.

Thanks for taking the time to read that monster....;)
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