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By Darkmir   |   Watch
2 20 122 (1 Today)
Published: May 1, 2009
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Praise the bun god for he has come. Happy meals for everyone. Blessed are the fanta skies, So thank the King for Kentucky fries. Buy in on a wave of new religion. Bread amongst executive pigeons, Who worship coporate traditions. In a week did the BBC Create Sky and ITV. Banished us for Apple sins. Tainted beings now Fox News has been. Buy in on a wave of new religion. Bread amongst executive pigeons, Who worship coporate traditions. Nintendo born from Virgin birth, Windows to the angels' earth. Gifts from Sony, Sega, Steam, Leave luck to heavens console team. Buy in on a wave of new religion. Bread amongst executive pigeo
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I want to burn the world, Burn it all down I want to burn the world, Down to the ground I want to scatter it's ashes, To the four winds I want to make it pay, For all of it's sins I want it to feel the pain, Deep inside and searing I want it to understand, Just what's driving, Me to cut it all apart, Bring it to it's knees I want it to feel what I feel, I need it to be be burning I'm going to burn the world, And erase all it's hate I'm going to take the time, To set things straight Far too many chances, They've been given, And now this is the point, To which I've been driven I want to make it know, The misery it has inflicted, On people ju
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SS Marschiert in Feindesland - English
 Our men have marched in hostile lands And sang a devil's song A steady guard, on Volga stands And hums this tune along We lift up our song ever skyward So all of the world may hear That brave men will fight for their homeland Whether they curse us or cheer  For we are the ones who go forward  And the devil he laughs just like this:  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  We're fighting for Deutschland  We're fighting for Hitler  While we march the reds know no peace We fight with pride, where e'er we go In North, South, East, and West Prepared in heart, to face the foe And always give our best Our soldiers know nothing of anguish For our h
© 2009 - 2019 Darkmir
A song I've been working on for a while now.

Would prefer some serious comments. Thsi will be performed.
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Praise the bun god for he has come. Happy meals for everyone. Blessed are the fanta skies, So thank the King for Kentucky fries. Buy in on a wave of new religion. Bread amongst executive pigeons, Who worship coporate traditions. In a week did the BBC Create Sky and ITV. Banished us for Apple sins. Tainted beings now Fox News has been. Buy in on a wave of new religion. Bread amongst executive pigeons, Who worship coporate traditions. Nintendo born from Virgin birth, Windows to the angels' earth. Gifts from Sony, Sega, Steam, Leave luck to heavens console team. Buy in on a wave of new religion. Bread amongst executive pigeo
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Burn the World
I want to burn the world, Burn it all down I want to burn the world, Down to the ground I want to scatter it's ashes, To the four winds I want to make it pay, For all of it's sins I want it to feel the pain, Deep inside and searing I want it to understand, Just what's driving, Me to cut it all apart, Bring it to it's knees I want it to feel what I feel, I need it to be be burning I'm going to burn the world, And erase all it's hate I'm going to take the time, To set things straight Far too many chances, They've been given, And now this is the point, To which I've been driven I want to make it know, The misery it has inflicted, On people ju
S
SS Marschiert in Feindesland - English
 Our men have marched in hostile lands And sang a devil's song A steady guard, on Volga stands And hums this tune along We lift up our song ever skyward So all of the world may hear That brave men will fight for their homeland Whether they curse us or cheer  For we are the ones who go forward  And the devil he laughs just like this:  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  We're fighting for Deutschland  We're fighting for Hitler  While we march the reds know no peace We fight with pride, where e'er we go In North, South, East, and West Prepared in heart, to face the foe And always give our best Our soldiers know nothing of anguish For our h
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Comments (17)
stampingqueen's avatar
stampingqueen|Hobbyist General Artist
I am a music fanatic and am one of those weirdos that actually listens to the lyrics of a song and I have to say I really like the words here. I think with a few changes (ones already made by :devlord-restudo: in his comments) it could really work. It flows well and is easy on the ears when spoken. I am awful at imagining music I have never heard, so I can't put it to a tune, but it reads like a piece of poetry which is a kind of rhythm. I would be most interested in hearing it when it is finished.

I am a huge believer in helping at home before we help everywhere else in the world. I love the USA, but I think our priorities are sometimes misplaced. I love to help when I can, but I can't stand the weird feeling it gives me to see people sending billions overseas to feed the poor when we have people starving on our own streets. Just me though I suppose.
This part: "Is there nothing sacred,
Are our spirits so damn jaded,
That we can let it fall to ruin without a fight?"
really struck a chord ( no pun intended) with me. I think too many people think that one person can't make a difference so they don't bother. I really think the opposite is true. One person can influence others and the ripple effect can go on indefinitely. Just gotta make the effort.

Anywho... you wanted comments not social commentary, but the words moved me. In that this song is already a success. Can't wait to hear the finished version.
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
wow.

Thanks for the thoughtful comments. Your feelings are a kind of input of their own.

Yeah, a lot of small changes probably before all is said and done. I expect my band to rip it a new ass. We have 6 guys, all outstanding musicians. A lot of the changes will be to accomodate the music they will create behind the lyrics. I actually wrote the music for this for another song, entitled; KILLER OF THE QUEEN, almost 20 years ago. This bunch will use the basic riff and pattern but are too talented not to want to extend and modify it to give it the "AE" stamp.

Honestly, really appreciate your remarks.
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stampingqueen's avatar
stampingqueen|Hobbyist General Artist
I listened to your music when you were in that "contest" thing where we all went and voted like mad...
I liked it. It is a little different than what I usually listen to, but good none the less.

I think that music is all about what you make someone feel. I can play the piano decently well and I always love it when someone says that I made them feel the music. When it comes to music with lyrics you can be technical perfection and be horrible if you don't make the person listening "feel" the song. I can see your band making us truly feel this one.

Now I am off to brush up on my Fallout Boy knowledge so I can take my daughter this weekend and not be sitting there scratching my head like I am clueless ;).
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
lol...
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stampingqueen's avatar
stampingqueen|Hobbyist General Artist
and it should be ~Lord-Retsudo I am typing dyslexic.
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Lord-Retsudo's avatar
Lord-Retsudo|Professional Traditional Artist
Yep, deep and moving. I like the personal stories in the early verses, which then shift to the wider, global comparison later. The concept of Neo-Rome is intriguing.

Just so you know, I write lyrics for my group, Jeremiah, as well as music. In fact since 1992 I've written most of the 60-odd songs that we perform and rehearse today ( plus 100-odd or so more ), so when it comes to lyrics, I like to get torn into something deep.

With songs that I don't know musically, it's sometimes hard to read lyrics and fix a rhythm or beat in my mind, but I can get a decent idea of that in this.

I can certainly see this printed on a CD insert or sleeve, and that's a good sign. Sometimes I see amateur lyrics online, and can't see them being any further than the back of a shopping bill.

The only negative comments I'd raise are against the couple of clichés that have slipped in: "hooker with a heart of gold", "Words that cut like the sharpest knife", "We can run but we can’t hide"...the kind of lines that we are more used to hearing in Phil Collins pop tunes. What you have here is more worthy than these lines suggest, and I'd seriously consider adjusting them to something of equal meaning, but more original. I of all people know how easy it is to lapse into cliché - it's easy, we know the meanings, we know our audiences will know what we mean too - but they're still cliché.

I might be tempted to shift the above lines to something like:

"a hooker whose heart hasn't yet been sold"
"words that burn like a branding iron"
"there's no safe house where we can hide" or "our safe house-keeper just up and died"...you get the kind of idea. That's just off the top of my head. Doubtless you can come up with better imagery that's more personal, and will scan better.

I'm also not entirely sure about the "Does Neo-Rome face the final curtain call?" line...suggesting that Neo-Rome is some sort of performer or actor may be what you intended. Curtain calls are usually a good thing for performers. Something like "Does Neo-Rome hear the fiddler's call", for some reason, comes to mind - alluding to Nero and the destuction of the old Rome.

Ironing out things like this is what makes songwriting exciting. I've spent hours with my band doing exactly that - each of us suggetsing words, phrases, interpretations, swallowing the Rhyming Dictionary, and teasing it all together to create something new, yet keep the original message intact.

That's my twoppence worth anyway.

I hope that's of some interest, and assistance. I certainly want to hear the recorded version of this some time :)
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
I frickin love that suggestion, and need permission to use it;

is Neo-Rome about to hear the fiddler's call?

I have already proceeded to the next round of editing, and my band hasn't even started to rip this yet, so it's got plenty of changes coming, I am guessing.

I changed the line in the second verse to; Digital words can cut to the bone"... The concept of digital chat will remain, but it will likely change again before it's done.

Yeah, I like working lyrics too, my friend.
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Lord-Retsudo's avatar
Lord-Retsudo|Professional Traditional Artist
Cool, go ahead and use it. It's a freebie. It'll be a kick to think that I've got a line in somebody else's song!

The other change sounds good too. I guess I hadn't quite twigged the digital chat angle there - very interesting.

I was trying to think of some clever play-off between the digital and analogue concepts - along the line of how new technology can still hurt and damage people in an old-fashioned/traditional way - but I've had a busy weekend and my head's a bit stuffed at the moment.

If I think of anything particularly share-worthy later on, I'll post.

Keep up the good workz!
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
Thx buddy.
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Lord-Retsudo's avatar
Lord-Retsudo|Professional Traditional Artist
Woahh, cool. Lit and lyrics...that's a bit different.

Dude, I'm currently figuring out how I can clone myself to get through all the work and commissions I have on right now. But I'll always have time for my buddies.

I'll give this a serious look over tomorrow night and let you know my thoughts. From the quick skim I just did though, they're going to be good :)
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
I'd appreciate that, Chaz.
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Narkya's avatar
Narkya|Hobbyist Photographer
It made me shiver, it's too real... (not really too real, but somehow...)
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
Thx, Nark.

I appreciate the comments.
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PixlPhantasy's avatar
PixlPhantasy|Hobbyist General Artist
Certainly carries a message of how society seems to be today. Greed, hatred and self absorption along with commercialization and religion will bring about our destruction eventually.

Governments spend millions on weapons of "self defence" in case the other guy hits first instead of helping their own and each other. Famine and disease run rampant in a world where much of it should not exist.

Our differences keep us apart rather than bringing us together.

You say a lot in few words.
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
What a gracious and eloquent commentary.

Thank you, Pxl.
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PixlPhantasy's avatar
PixlPhantasy|Hobbyist General Artist
:) I'd love to actually hear the finished version of this some time.
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Darkmir's avatar
Darkmir|Professional Digital Artist
We have two shows coming up: May 9th, for about 1500 people, and May 16th, for about 5 to 700. After that, we are taking a moritorium on live performances to finish our first CD, entitled; Self Evident Truth. After that is in the can, we are going to start working on new material, which will include this song. At some point in the fall, it should be up on our band's web page. I'll be letting everybody here know about it, you can be sure.
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