Justification of a Lack of Willpower
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darkelvenmage's avatar
By darkelvenmage   |   Watch
0 18 535 (1 Today)
Published: August 31, 2009
1) Society invented peanut butter.

2) Peanut butter is DELICIOUS. Especially on Ritz crackers.

3) Society says peanut butter is very fattening and therefore bad for you. You should not eat peanut butter. Wouldn't you like a salad instead?

4) No, I would not.

Conclusion: Fuck you, society. You invented peanut butter and I AM GOING TO EAT SO MUCH OF IT BECAUSE IT IS DELICIOUS.

You've created a monster. It's not my fault.
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art challenge event [open]
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Comments (17)
Von186's avatar
Von186|Professional General Artist
lmao. Peanut butter is actually pretty good for you. It's great for people with depression too.
It's the crackers that are bad :P I say eat it all up! You only live once.
Reply  ·  
maranwe-ancarame's avatar
*highfives you*
Reply  ·  
InnoTenshi's avatar
Peanut butter fucking RAWKS. I have peanut butter on my toast like ... at LEAST once a day. Sometimes as a midnight snack too. It's THAT good.

... My parents are out for three days and they finished the peanut butter jar without telling me. I made my toast and opened the cupboard yesterday and THERE WAS NO PEANUT BUTTER.

I'm very upset.
They're not home til tomorrow and I have no money to go out and buy some myself.

Also I did not know that peanut butter was fattening. Really? I should weigh like a ton by now.
Reply  ·  
darkelvenmage's avatar
Yeah, but you're probably one of those skinny lil' thangs that forgets to eat half the day. XD So fattening stuff doesn't really apply to you.

And how could your parents not refill the peanut butter?! D:< BLASPHEMY.
Reply  ·  
InnoTenshi's avatar
I eat 3 square meals a day! >:| And then some! XD NOT MY FAULT I HAVE HIGH METABOLISM OK.

& I KNOW RIGHT. Uuhg I'm not gonna survive @W@ lawl.
Reply  ·  
The-Necromancer's avatar
The-Necromancer|Hobbyist General Artist
Wow...

No, let me rephrase that...

HOLY MUTHAFUCKIN WHATSUPWITHYOU WOW...

...

Ok, better now.

Secondly, peanut butter is NOT bad for you. Plenty of protien! THATS good for you!
Reply  ·  
darkelvenmage's avatar
Peanut butter is amaaaaazing! No matter what those diet freaks say.

PlusitisdeliciousandIlikedeliciousfoods.
Reply  ·  
johnnytainted's avatar
Ew who eats salad? D:
Reply  ·  
darkelvenmage's avatar
Loooooooosers. Losers who are like "I had three carbs today I am going to be so skinny!" but are secretly unhappy because salad sucks and peanut butter on crackers is like sex.

Or so I assume.

(Actually, I assume it's even better. Because let's face it - peanut butter is soooo goooood.)
Reply  ·  
johnnytainted's avatar
But if you had sex while eating peanut butter on crackers,
the world would like, explode

or you'd just throw up.
Reply  ·  
darkelvenmage's avatar
But even your vomit would taste delic--

Okay, no. Even I won't go that far. XD
Reply  ·  
LaSpliten's avatar
LaSpliten|Hobbyist General Artist
You know, my friends have been calling me crazy for this...but the other day I had a burger with peanut butter on it. I also layered these really thin, crispy fries on it. It was probably one of the best burgers I had ever eaten.
Reply  ·  
darkelvenmage's avatar
o.o

You

are

brilliant.

Imma try that shit out! Sounds tasty! I'm on such a peanut butter kick right now. XD I figure I just gotta keep eating it until I get so sick of it that I stop craving it night and day.
Reply  ·  
sesshysshewolf's avatar
Your logic is infallible, and makes me want a peanut butter chocolate soyshake.

.....

*goes to make one*
Reply  ·  
darkelvenmage's avatar
PEANUT BUTTER IS THE BEST.

:chew:

...well, they don't have a peanut butter emoticon, okay? XD
Reply  ·  
sesshysshewolf's avatar
Perhaps it's crunchy peanut butter? :3
Reply  ·  
darkelvenmage's avatar
Oh my gosh! And it is!
Reply  ·  
anonymous's avatar
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