Published: February 2, 2014
On a small wasteland planet, where the twin suns shine without end, in a place where nothing can be seen but a flat desert stretching for an eternity, a sound can be heard. The sound seems mechanical, but somewhat alive, and can only be thoroughly described as a “wooing” sound. The sound slowly gets louder as the “woos” get longer. And then, as if out of nowhere, a Vending Machine starts to appear, as though it was fading into existence. Just as the Vending Machine becomes fully corporeal, the “wooing” stops, and the Vending Machine sits there completely out of place in the desert wasteland. The Vending Machine is red, and has the words “Fruit Juice” on the top, written in pink and green. The coin slot is for some reason, horizontal rather than vertical. And under that coin slot are seven buttons, each presumably corresponding to a different flavour of juice.
Just then, the front of the Fruit Juice Machine begins to open, as though it was a door, and a yellow beanbag-like creature wearing a blue helmet walks out and closes the door behind him. The creature is short, and round-ish. He has short stubby hands and feet protruding from his blob like body, which along with his beady eyes, sly smile, and bulbous nose, gives him a very cute look. He is wearing red mittens, and green boots, as well as a clearly visible blue helmet. Wrapped around his blue helmet, is a pair of heavy duty black goggles, which the creature had never really pulled down to protect his eyes at any time of owning them, and this current time was of course no exception. This creature’s name is Raz.
Raz had a sort of annoyed look on his face. It wasn’t the extreme heat that had him annoyed, but rather the landscape of his vicinity. You see, the Fruit Juice Machine was Raz’s spaceship, and he had been aiming to land on a tropical holiday planet, so that he could relax. But instead, he had for some reason, landed here, on this wasteland of a planet, with nothing but desert for as far as the eye could see.
‘For crying out loud!’ Raz shouted with his stubby little arms in the air, in what would probably be considered cute by any other life form. ‘I’ve been flying around in that thing for all this time, and I still don’t know how to aim it!’ Raz settled down, and then put one hand over his face while sighing ‘At least this planet’s hot, maybe I can find a beach or something.’ Raz then wiped his face, and began walking in a randomly chosen direction, hoping to find an ocean.
Raz walked for what seemed like hours, and for each step he took, he regretted more and more that he had chosen to search for an ocean, rather than try to fly to that tropical planet he was aiming for last time. ‘I just had to search this planet for an ocean didn’t I?’ mumbled Raz ‘Sure, my Fruit Juice Machine could’ve taken me to a frozen planet the next time I tried to fly it, maybe this is the last hot planet I’ll see for the next month, sure it’s a possibility. But without even knowing how far I am from a damn ocean! Why oh why didn’t I just get back inside?’
Raz constantly considered going back, but he was stubborn and optimistic. And with each passing step, he knew it would just be a longer trip to get back anyway. Then, Raz noticed something out in the heat haze, there appeared to be a structure out in the distance. No, multiple structures! As Raz walked closer and closer, he began to notice that he had stumbled upon a town, and at the centre of this town, was what could only be described, as a small palace. That being said, even though the palace was small in comparison to what others would consider an average size for a palace, it was still quite a large building, and clearly larger than any other building in the town. As a matter of fact, the palace was about a quarter of the overall size of the entire town!
Upon Raz’s realization of the town, he slowly began to pick up the pace, until Raz was practically jogging towards the town. Just as Raz reached the town’s borders, he then began to notice the life forms that lived there. They were a strange bunch, humanoids, with blistered and rather pale skin. They were thin and lanky, although quite short, but still towered Raz. They had slits for nostrils, a sort of fish-like mouth, and round black eyes. Their hair was wild and long, and went around their head like a lion’s mane, giving them a rather fearsome look. The males and females could be easily distinguished, as the males were bulkier and more unkept, and the females were slender and appeared to style their hair, even trimming it.
The citizens of the town were all wandering around. Some were moving quite fast, as though they needed to be somewhere; others were slower, as though they were wandering around aimlessly and with no true purpose. It was without a doubt, a rather average town. But something strange about the town which Raz had yet to notice was that this was the only race that could be seen. While towns being full with only one race are not uncommon, they are usually home to at least one or two migrants from a different race. It is possible that Raz had not noticed yet, as he might have subconsciously believed that such others were not within his view, but the more he looked, the more it should have been apparent that this town was isolated for some reason.
Raz looked around the town, and admired the various buildings. The Palace was grand, but like the rest of the town, a very dark shade of brown, and rather boring. The houses were all cubicle in shape, although slightly stretched upwards and rectangular, and all rather small. The town struck Raz as being primitive and poor, although even with those thoughts in his mind, he could tell by the technology that some people were carrying, that this town definitely had the means for space travel.
Raz walked up to the first person he saw. He was a tall fellow, or at least taller than the rest of his race, he was wearing what appeared to be a long striped gown and standing in a single spot, just looking out onto the town, for what appeared to be no particular reason. ‘Yo, know where the nearest ocean is?’ Raz said to the man. The man looked around for the source of the voice, until eventually looking down and noticing Raz. He was at first, slightly shocked to see a new face that was not of his own race, but decided against questioning it. ‘Could you please repeat that?’ the man asked. ‘I’m looking for an ocean; do you know where I can find one? I’m wanting to catch some rays while I’m here, maybe get a drink while I’m at it.’ The man seemed confused by the question, but rather than question it, he merely shook his head and pointed to what appeared to be a well. ‘That well is the only source of water on the entire planet I’m afraid. But unfortunately, you can not touch it without the almighty Stuz Sho’s permission, for he is our leader and our king.’ Raz gave an inquisitive look ‘Stuz Sho? Leader? King? That sounds pretty rehearsed to me, what is he, your local dictator or something?’ The man remained silent. ‘Ah well.’ Raz continued ‘It doesn’t matter to me, no ocean on this planet merely means I better find another planet. But I am not walking all the way back without at least a small drink, I’m parched!’ The man appeared to be startled by Raz’s comment ‘No, you can not take water from the well, Stuz Sho will know!’ Raz shrugged and walked towards the well ‘Honestly, how on earth is he going to know? Sure it’s not exactly your basic run-of-the-mill stone well, but it doesn’t exactly have anything on it telling you how much water is in it, there’s no way he could ever know, and it’s not as though I’ll be staying here long enough for him to find out anyway, so what’s the problem?’ Raz then walked up to the well, and while the man was trying to signal Raz to stop, Raz activated the well and turned towards the man and said ‘See, no problems!’
Just then, an alarm started to go off, and appeared to be emanating from the well. Raz slowly turned his head towards the well, and paused to look at it for a moment; he then turned his head back towards the man and said ‘Oops.’ Before Raz could even react, several guards, each one clad in shield emitting breastplate, and a large laser rifle, all surrounded Raz. All of the guns then had their safety switched off, which created a rather intimidating sound of clicks. Raz slowly lifted up his arms, and quietly said ‘I surrender…’