Cheese Puffs and Caviar 1

Riding in a limo…going down a private road…passing trees…Vlad still sitting with an icepack on his face…more trees…Danny sighed as he pressed his forehead against the tinted window. Boy was he having fun today…not. Danny flopped his back against the leather seats and sighed loudly. Vlad glared at him out of the corner of his swollen eye. “Oh, get off it Daniel! You are acting like such an infant. Grow up for once in your juvenile life.”
Danny glared daggers at him. “At least I didn’t get sucker-punched by a guy in orange spandex.”
That hit the cord. Vlad’s face jerked at Danny and the purple on his face made him look overly satanic. “You are going to be staying with me for an entire week, boy! Now, either we swallow our pride and get it over with, or I make your time here a living hell!”
Danny slumped in his seat. “You only did this to impress my mom, didn’t you?”
“Of course!” Vlad said with a grin. “And, thanks to you, I now have quite a nice taste in my mouth, thank you very much.”
Danny quickly put a hand over his mouth. “Oh, god! I’m going to barf!”
“Wait until we get inside,” Vlad said apathetically as they pulled up to the large mansion.

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Of Cheese Puffs and Caviar

Chapter 1:
Help Wanted!

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“Now, don’t leave your bags in front of the d-”
Danny threw his bags down by the front door and Vlad’s face turned red. “What room am I staying in for the week?”
Vlad glared at him and lowered his ice pack. “In a dog house outside.”
“Haha, very funny.” Danny said sarcastically. He went back in front of Vlad and picked up his bags. I’m not sure I want him touching my stuff anyway. He might slip some itching powder in my boxers or something…ouch. “But, seriously, where?”
Vlad snorted at him. “In a room very, very, very far away from mine, preferably. And not in one that’s too lavishly furnished. I’d hate to see a good room go to waste after I burn whatever room you stay in.”
Danny growled. Then, he just shrugged it off and threw his bags over his shoulder. “Well, then. Lead the way, old friend,” Danny said, emphasis on ‘old’.
Vlad’s eye started twitching. That twitch, kind of like when you are walking in a hallway and some really ugly person stands in front of you and asks you for a pencil, but their breath smells like something the cat spat up, dragged in and farted on died in his mouth. Yeah, that twitch. But, never the less, Vlad managed to pop out a small grin. “Just take the room you stayed in the last time you were in here, little badger,” emphasis on ‘little’.
Danny was already halfway up the first flight or stairs, but he stopped in mid step. He slowly turned around, grinned at Vlad and made a rather rude hand gesture. Vlad roared in anger and Danny was ready to start running.
But, being the smart boy Danny was, he forgot that Vlad also had ghost powers. So, when Vlad suddenly changed into Plasmius, Danny ran screaming like a little girl up the stairs. He didn’t have time to turn into Danny Phantom, mainly because he was trying not to fall down the stairs. So, of course Vlad caught up with him in no time.
“How DARE you insult me?!” Vlad yelled out as he grabbed Danny by his shirt collar. “You little-if you weren’t Maddie’s son, I’d rip out your scrawny little throat you son of a-”
“GHOST~!”
Vlad and Danny swerved around to see a short woman in a maid’s outfit drop a basket of laundry and bring her hands up to her face. “MR. MASTERS! A GHOST!” She ran down the hall swinging her arms in the air and yelling at the top of her lunges.
Vlad dropped Danny on the ground and smacked himself in the head as he changed into his human self. “That is the fourth maid this month! Ugh, how am I supposed to get any decent help THIS way?”
Danny brushed off his shirt and asked, “When did you get a maid? Better yet, why did you get a maid?”
Vlad glared at him. “Daniel, can you really imagine me doing housework, or cook for that matter?”
“Good point.”
Vlad just shook his head. “I guess I’ll just have to erase her memory again before she gets to the National Inquirer…” He quickly ran down the steps and called out to the maid as he followed her down the hallway.
Danny breathed a sigh of relief. “And all this time I thought he was going to make me do all the work around here.” Suddenly, the image of Plasmius wearing a pink apron and baking a pie sprang up into his head. Danny tried to muffle his laughter as he continued up the stairs to his room.
X
Danny had been sitting in his room for at least three hours now. It was his old room, but Danny still felt too small in it. His bed was three times as big as the one he had back home and the lavish red carpeting screamed ‘I belong to some greedy psycho billionaire!’. Danny was lying on the bed with a bag of Cheetos he snuck with him, a Mountain Dew which was also snuck, and was reading his Fullmetal Alchemist volume four. He had already re-read his FLCL, Trigun, and Tsubasa books and was on his last Fullmetal Alchemist.
Danny slammed the book down and sat up. “What kind of billionaire doesn’t put a TV in every room?” Danny yelled before jumping up and crushing his MD can. He pitched it in the trashcan by the desk and walked out into the hallway. Danny looked to the left…then at the right. Silence. Maybe Vlad died somewhere. Danny laughed. Heh, I wish. He picked a direction and started walking.
And walking.
Walked up some stairs.
Still walking.
Lots of doors. Still walking.
More stairs…
…followed by more walking.
“GAH!” Danny yelled out as he grabbed his head. “How much space does a single guy need?!” He looked to his right and saw a lone door. “Dear god, I beg that this is a bathroom.” He grabbed the knob and pushed it to find-
-Vlad’s study. Oh, goody.
Wait, a voice poked Danny inside, Vlad’s ‘private’ study! My, my, my, what fun can we have in here?
I probably shouldn’t make him anymore mad than I already have today.
Screw that and have some fun!
Danny grinned. Yup, his evil side won out. He changed into his Phantom form and was ready to blast a few book shelves before he heard footsteps behind the door. Crap. Danny quickly turned invisible and scrunched up against the wall. The door opened and Vlad moped in the room. His eyebrows were arched with concentration as he pulled up his chair to the desk and started to rummage through some papers. Danny pushed himself up closer to the wall and thanked heaven that he didn’t have to breath in his ghost form.
“Oh, good! I didn’t throw it away,” Vlad exclaimed as he pulled out a sheet from under the pile. “I should probably tape this to a wall, I’ve been using it so often.” He stood up and walked to the door, getting nearer and nearer to Danny.
Ha! He can’t see me! He can’t see-
“Daniel, feel free to, as you say, ‘raid the fridge’.” Vlad said as his attention suddenly turned to the empty space Danny occupied. “But, if you make a mess, I’ll blast your backside down the Ghost Zone.”
Vlad closed the door and Danny changed back, awestruck. “…I forgot…he could do that…”
Although he had spent half an hour beating himself up for being so stupid, Danny still took Vlad up on the offer and finally found his way to the kitchen.
His dinner consisted of…the rest of his Cheetos. Vlad didn’t have anything edible in that house! Wine? Caviar? Pollock!? Ewe! Danny trounced back up the stairs and made a promise to himself that he would never, ever go back into that fridge! EVER!
On a different subject, Danny couldn’t find Vlad anywhere that night. Yes, he managed to find the bathroom at last, but still no Vlad. He found Vlad’s bedroom (done in Packer décor, of course), but still no Vlad. “He’s probably out somewhere killing some innocent squirrel or something.” Danny said to himself as he looked at his watch. He didn’t realize how late it was as he trudged back to his room, which took forever.
Yes, Danny went to bed hungry, but at least he didn’t die by fancy food poisoning.
X
Day one of Danny’s stay at Vlad’s, and Danny was stuck with in the mansion, in his room, with nowhere to go. All due to the fact that Vlad had to take care of some business of his own, and had sworn on his mother’s grave that is Danny disturbed him that he would castrate him in front of his classmates. That was pretty threatening, especially coming from Vlad.
But, of course, Danny couldn’t resist. He got tired of waiting around his room for an hour or so and decided to pay Vlad a little visit, changing into his ghost form and flying, invisible, up into Vlad’s study.
Well, Danny didn’t know this, but the reason why Vlad was gone last night was because he was down at the newspaper office, placing a want ad for a new maid. Now, Danny stood floating in Vlad’s office watching an interview between the crazed loon and some Spanish woman.
The woman had a loud voice as she announced, “I will work a maximum of three days a week and will require that if any children are in the house, that I not work that day.”
“Get out. Next!”
The woman’s face looked like she had just sucked on a lemon as she picked up her purse and ran out the door. Vlad rubbed his forehead and whispered, “I told you not to bother me.”
Danny was a little startled at first, but said, “It’s either here and invisible, or out in the hallway where everyone can see me.”
Vlad growled. “Fine. Just stay quiet and don’t let anyone see you.”
“Okay.”
The next woman was tall, old and had a French accent. As soon as she mentioned wanting to stay in the mansion with her cats, Vlad immediately dismissed her. Then there was a young ditzy girl, a man in a pink tuxedo, and several other people. All of them were dismissed by Vlad.
Danny was sitting on the ground when the last one left. The clock on the wall told him it had been five hours since he came in. Vlad leaned back in his chair and held his forehead. “Why must I suffer in a world full of idiots?”
Danny had the same look as he changed back into his visible human form. “Tell me about it.”
Vlad looked over at him. “I mean, I know I’m desperate, but does god really hate me this much?”
Danny shrugged. “Maybe it’s just an off day for you.” Heh, and he’s asking me this?
The door opened up and another girl walked into the room. Vlad didn’t even look at her. “Just go away, I’m done for the day.”
“Um, I’m the last one here, so…”
Danny and Vlad both looked up at the source of the voice. There stood a tallish, young woman with short black hair and greenish, yellow eyes. Her skin was tanned from being in the sun so much, which looked even darker against her black FALLEN hoodie, red baseball cap, and dark blue jeans. She had a red and black backpack flung over her shoulder and held a piece of paper in her right hand as she smiled at Vlad. Wow, pointy teeth.
“If you want, you could at least read my resume.” She held out the paper on Vlad’s desk and said, “I think you might be impressed!”
Vlad glared at her and snatched the paper up. “We’ll just see about that…” His eyes scanned down the paper as the girl took the seat by Vlad’s desk.
She’s a maid? Danny thought as he looked at her from his corner. That’s…different.
The girl looked over at Danny and smiled. Danny could feel himself blush. She is kind of pretty, though…
Vlad could see Danny out of the corner of his eye and snorted. This gained both of their attentions. Vlad looked up at the girl and cleared his throat before reading the paper aloud.
“Name: Edana Eukrane Bristol.”
“Please, I prefer to be called Ed, sir.”
Vlad raised an eyebrow. “…Ed? Well, of course I couldn’t have a normal woman come into my office now, could I?”
“Thank you!”
Vlad sighed and continued to read. “Height: 6’2”, Age: 23...’I swear?’” He looked up at Ed. “You wrote that?”
“Yes.”
Vlad decided not to respond. “Past Occupations: Maid, bodyguard, English teacher and…umm” Vlad read the last entry and rubbed his chin. “Well, now that is impressive.” Vlad’s eyes moved over to Danny as he said, “Danny, would you please leave us?”
“What!?”
“Now.”
Danny helplessly trudged out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Ed looked back at Vlad with a smile. “Son?”
“NO!” Vlad yelled out. “I-I mean, no. He’s the son of a friend of mine who will be staying for a week.”
“Oh, okay.” Ed put her hands in her lap. “How old is he?”
“14, why does it matter?”
Ed just smiled. “Oh, nothing. Just wanted to ask how long he’s had ghost powers?”
Vlad slammed his hand son his desk and looked up at her with VERY surprised eyes. “You…you know about…”
“Yeah!” Ed said with a wide grin. There wasn’t a hint of dark intents on her. “You do to!”
Now Vlad was really startled. “Well…I don’t know what magazine you’ve been reading, but-”
“No, no, no! I can tell you are part ghost because it was a skill they taught us!” Ed yelled out as she jumped up and put her hands on Vlad’s desk. “All you gotta do is stare at someone in the eye and you can see the ectoplasm swirl around in the cornea!”
Vlad leaned back and scratched his head. “Really? Hm, I guess that proves that you used to be an exorcist…”
“Who says I still am not?”
Vlad looked at her with slight fear. “You came here to-”
“No, no, no!” Ed jumped up and waved her hands. “I came here for a room and a job! That’s just one of the perks! I’ll clean, cook and protect you and little Danny…that’s his name, right?…from whatever rears its ugly head!”
Vlad blinked once, twice. “Umm…okay.” He looked back down at the paper. It noted about her wanting to wear her hat everyday, her own room with a DVD player and TV, and privilege to any and all books on the premises. “Hmm, I think we can work something out.” Vlad raised his hand to the girl. “Would you like to start today?”
Ed’s face lit up immediately. “REALLY?!” The grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK-”
“PLEASE!” Vlad yelled out as he pulled his hand free. “Now, your room will be next to Danny’s. I will send for your things if you give me an address and…”
Ed shook her head. “Don’t bother, all my things are in my car outside.” Vlad leaned his head to one side. “Why do you think I asked for a room here?”
“True…”
X
Ed walked outside alone and went to her old red Corsica. Before she grabbed any of her things, she reached into her pocket, grabbed her cell phone and pushed the speed dial button. She brought the phone up to her face and spoke into it, “Mission success! The old man hired me, just like you said Ambeg.”
The voice on the other side of the phone was deep and raspy as a man spoke, “Ha! I told you Ed! Anyway, try to keep your identity a secret overall until Alrinach appears. We don’t want anything happening too fast now.”
Ed grinned. “Of course, Ambeg! Whatever you say.”
“Good. Now, you are too stay there as long as the boy is there. Keep an eye on him most of all. We could afford to loose Vlad, but not him.”
Ed nodded. “Of course. Besides, I think we’ll get along just fine, he and I.” She grinned brightly, showing her sharp teeth as she closed up the phone. “Finally, I’m going to get that Alrinach and learn what he’s up to.” She stretched her arms and yawned. “This will be so much fun! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooow!”