Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist Senior Member Daniel Zenon Klein38/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 15 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 107 Deviations 9,514 Comments 111,071 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Why we write
By night, when homeward bound, I plan and count
The hours that remain and how I'll joyfully apply
My creative mind; but oft I can't surmount
That tiny gap between to do and try.
Like Armstrong on the lander's final rung
The smallest step is yet the longest leap.
An undecided heart is by its heartstrings hung;
A hundred short-lived joys are easier to reap.
The world has colour more than black and white
And room between prolific and procrastinate.
Creation need not rule our every night
A balanced mind has other needs to sate.
A poem written over eighteen days
Is still creation--at a languid pace.
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 4 10
The Appreciator by danielzklein The Appreciator :icondanielzklein:danielzklein 1 8 The Fruit of Memory by danielzklein The Fruit of Memory :icondanielzklein:danielzklein 1 6
Why we have fiction
There's a joke the gods like to tell in heaven
"A man decided to get up in the morning"
And they laugh and they laugh and they laugh
I kissed a girl the other night
She didn't run away so I did okay
I said a witty thing before I kissed her
And I said a witty thing after I kissed her
And that made me feel pretty good
Sometimes, I watch when things happen to me
Or when I happen to things
And I think to myself, well
This would be very funny if I read it in a book
Or very sad if I saw it in a film
Or very wise if a poem was to be written about it
But since it is happening to me
Or I am happening to it
It is complicated and messy and rough around the edges
Stories in real life never end on the good bit
Which is why we have fiction
I kissed a girl the other night
I said a witty thing before I kissed her
And I said witty thing after I kissed her
And she loved it and she kissed me back
And we lived happily ever after
The End
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 5 6
One of my many superpowers
Sometimes I walk home with a painful bursting bladder
past a dozen weeing men
just to feel superior.
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 3 5
My Father 1
When he was 30
my father had built and torn down
and rebuilt again a shed
with his own hands;
had planned a future for himself and his wife
and the two children he knew he'd have.
My father had serious hobbies.
I remember the oscilloscopes and the smell
of ammonia.
He would come home from work and pore over
financial documents, figure out how to keep us
safe and secure and comfortable.
Because that is what grown-ups do.
And he'd worry and frown and talk seriously
to serious men.
It was clear to me then that there was a line
between child and man, and that I was
on this side and he on the other.
That was fine. The line would come closer
and one day I'd leap over it
and be a serious man, too.
I am still waiting.
I am 30 now.
It is not what I thought it would be.
It is no different from being 16, only that now
I have no one to send me to bed at 11,
so I stay up until 5,
I have no one to tell me to get my finances straight,
so I don't.
And I am not alone.
We are not grown-ups, but overg
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 3 3
2nd person fiction and You
You like fiction written in the second person. You may not admit it to yourself, but deep down, you really do. It teases you with its confrontational otherness, its flamboyantly displayed post-modernism, its teeth.
Do not look at its teeth. You do not want to look at its teeth.
Fiction written in the second person and you have a long history of denial. At first, you were sure it couldn't be done. Then it was done, and it was done to you, and you liked it, too, but it was only the one time and you were kind of drunk. It was an experiment, and it was interesting as an experiment, but that was all it was.
Only, of course, it wasn't.
Fiction written in the second person has invaded your dreams, and what's worse, your sexual fantasies. You'd be picturing a luscious blonde, rubbing her rubbables, yearning for your touch, when suddenly a voice would pop into your head, calmly narrating what you were doing: "You are picturing a luscious blonde," the voice would say, "rubbing her rubbables. Hey
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 419 128
The Longest Con by danielzklein The Longest Con :icondanielzklein:danielzklein 7 26
Fuck you, grapefruit
Fuck you, grapefruit. Fuck you right in your sickly dark-red ass.
Grapefruits are the Nigerian spam of the world of fruit. Yay, I just got $20,000,000 off this Nigerian prince on the internet. Wait, why is my bank account empty? Yay, oranges! Wait, grapefruit.
In every way that oranges are awesome, grapefruits are awful. Just look at them! Oranges are joyful, bright, full of life--they're orange! Grapefruits are the sickly pale hue of a nerd that sits in front of his PC 20 hours a day grinding quests in World of Warcraft. "That's not all I do," Grapefruits insist in their whiny high-pitched voices. "I have other interests! For instance, let me show you my 15 terabyte collection of racist hentai. I'm the only collector outside of Japan!" Go away, grapefruits. "This one is about a nazi officer who summons demons by raping Chinese mothers to death." Fuck you, grapefruits.
Look at their flesh! Oranges are brimming with positive orange-ness. You can see all the sun they stored up, convenien
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 5 26
The Shambler
The following letter was found in the quarters of the High Inquisitor after he had taken his life.
Your Highness,
We arrived at first light. The courthouse lay in ruins, as was reported. The locals assured us they had not entered the ruins since the fire, and judging from the distance they are keeping from the smoking piles of rubble even now we are inclined to believe them. They warned us that some evil entity resided inside still.
Our scouts found no signs of life, evil or otherwise, at all. We are still identifying the corpses we found within. Some are entirely incinerated, others have barely been touched by the flames. All of them are badly mutilated, as if by large cutting instruments.
One thing we cannot account for at this time is the number of limbs we found. According to copies of court documents, the hearing that morning was closed, so we have a good estimate of the number of people inside the building at the time of the fire: twenty-four. However, we have found only thirteen
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 2 10
Bluegrass and Birdsong
Bluegrass and Birdsong
For Maria, who dared me
The city has sirens
and strangers who puke
Out in the country
The faces are friendly
That eye-bulge and heave
The city has sinners
You watch from a distance
Who are careless, unwholesome
Or misunderstood
And you want to run with them
And see where they take you
But it's late and there's work
And you better go home.
Out in the country
The night-air is colder
The silences longer
And nowhere is nearer
And upon returning you think to yourself
What a fool that I was to ever have left
The silence, the faces, the foresty places
And the memories of youthful thoughts
But the hours were wasted
With the same friendly faces
And the circuitous thinking
That forests provoke
That rhythm was safety.
Until you left, of course.
When one leaves safe things behind
One often finds that newness is not only
Wie ein Gedicht fügt die Geschichte
Of a change in your life
Sich unwillig zusammen
And there is more silence
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 3 14
Dramatis personae:
WIFE, a wife
HUSBAND, a husband
WOMAN, a woman
AUDIENCE (taped), you
(A simple room with a front door. Separated from it by a wall with a door in it, a bathroom with a shower. There is a chair in the room. HUSBAND and WIFE are standing in the room.)
(patting his large stomach contendly)
Those were mighty fine beans, wife. I think I will go and take a shower now.
Then I will patiently await your return.
(They kiss)
AUDIENCE (taped)
(HUSBAND goes to the bathroom and undresses in full view of AUDIENCE (taped). Cat calls from AUDIENCE (taped). WIFE sits down on the chair, facing AUDIENCE (taped). HUSBAND commences showering procedure. A doorbell rings.)
(consulting her wrist watch)
Who could it be at this time?
(WIFE gets up and opens the door, revealing WOMAN. AUDIENCE (taped) applauds.)
Oh, hello! You wouldn't happen to be Mrs. Bartholomew Redshaw?
Why, yes, that's me!
Oh, good, because I found this wallet, and it
:icondanielzklein:danielzklein 2 25
The Years Ahead of Us by danielzklein The Years Ahead of Us :icondanielzklein:danielzklein 4 18 Perfect Love by danielzklein
Mature content
Perfect Love :icondanielzklein:danielzklein 2 13
Dream Diary by danielzklein Dream Diary :icondanielzklein:danielzklein 1 6 The Novelty by danielzklein
Mature content
The Novelty :icondanielzklein:danielzklein 3 14


by BeccaJS

this place in their hearts-- a place I know this is the internet, but let's get typography right anyway. What you're going for here is ...


Orange marmalade breakfast by VinaApsara Orange marmalade breakfast :iconvinaapsara:VinaApsara 310 34 Montana Negra 1 by yv Montana Negra 1 :iconyv:yv 65 6 Lux Jinxed by HolyElfGirl Lux Jinxed :iconholyelfgirl:HolyElfGirl 1,233 92 LUCIAN - THE PURIFIER by eoinart LUCIAN - THE PURIFIER :iconeoinart:eoinart 462 12
Assembly instructions
Before You Start
Novices should read instructions
from start to finish
to avoid embarrassment later.
Ensure you are wearing
adequate protection
for the job at hand.
Power tools
are not required
but there’s no shame in it either
Designated two person assembly (two males pictured)
females may need
to adjust configuration to suit.
Any number may assist.
Spare dowelling plugs
are provided.
Unwrap all the parts; fold and retain
the packaging for later.  Check
all pieces are present, and in working order.
Familiarise yourself with them, feel
their heft, their quality; caress
the expert workmanship, the smooth
and supple finish.
Try to envisage
which parts will slot together:
this will assist you later.
Insert part labelled A11 into slot E6;
lubrication may be necessary (not provided).
Here you are laid
on the floor and your
assistant is braced
against the wall and
:iconfyoot:fyoot 11 10
Poem about public transport by Piroshki-Photography Poem about public transport :iconpiroshki-photography:Piroshki-Photography 1,422 161
Good Evening, and Welcome to the Poetry Reading
Since you have all come to hear poems,
when poems are freely available in book form,
I assume you are here
because for some reason or other you felt obliged,
or this kind of thing is the kind of thing you want to support,
or maybe it just feels good to be here. That's okay too.
I'm not sure why there are so few/many of you,
but—surely—it is the prevailing condition
of poetry in this area, and such a number
in such a place represents the deplorable/commendable
level of local investment in the arts and culture,
for which those responsible should be duly applauded/castigated.
I'm afraid you will be hearing six kinds of poetry this evening,
which is to say there will be slow poems, fast poems,
loud poems, quiet poems, poems about tea, and of course,
poems that we are not really sure are poems at all,
of which this is arguably the first. Emergency exits are available
in case the rhetoric is literally inflammatory.
Heckling is permitted whenever I hold up this sign,
but at other times, for y
:iconoddlyaromatic:oddlyaromatic 1 1
zerflossen stehst du vor meiner tür. wie eis auf nacktem, heißem fleisch. ewigkeiten ist es her. vor dich hin schniefend ersäufst du worte in rotz und schnodder. wie ertrinkende, die sich an rasierklingen klammern - arglose laute in einer unerbitterlichen see. ich nehme einen schritt zurück und du, zwei vor.
es ist nicht aufgeräumt, aber es ist nie wirklich aufgeräumt. ein paar quadratmeter umzäunt von zu dünnen wänden.
du setzt dich auf mein bett. von leidenschaft zerwühlt - nach einer anderen stinkend.
ich habe nur einen stuhl. an meinem schreibtisch. und genau auf diesen habe ich mich gerettet.
versteckt im flimmern des monitors und den rauchschwaden eines namenlosen tabakerzeugnisses, hoffe ich das du mein süchtiges sehnen nicht errätst.
ehrführchtig, beinah ängstlich schwebt meine hand über deiner haut und zeichnet jede deiner rundungen nach. der drang zu berühren lässt sich körperli
:iconsinnfreiheit:sinnfreiheit 1 3
bitterlich su:ss
ob du noch wein hast, will er wissen. die frage irritiert dich kurz, doch dann erinnerst du dich an das fast leere, tief rot gefärbte glas vor ihm. du bietest ihm wodka an und er verzieht das gesicht zu einer grimasse. den wodka trinkt er trotzdem. pur. warm. aus seinem rotweinglas. während du wieder zurück an den treffpunkt von wand und decke am anderen ende des raumes starrst, fragst du dich wie er es schafft. wie er soviel trinken kann. ob du ihn nach hause schicken solltest. ob es das ist, worunter menschen einen geselligen abend verstehen. vielleicht solltest du einfach mehr trinken. wenn ein schnaps zur verdauung in ordnung ist. wenn ein, drei feierabendbier keinen alkoholiker machen. wenn im rentenalter das trinken ab mittag kein problem darstellt. wieso sollte eine leichte vergiftung an drei aus sieben tagen für dich eine sucht sein.
er erzählt von menschen die du nicht kennst. von menschen an die du dich nicht erinnern kannst. irgendwas erzählt er
:iconsinnfreiheit:sinnfreiheit 1 3
Karma cosplay by Kamikazemiko Karma cosplay :iconkamikazemiko:Kamikazemiko 32 35 Hextech Shyvana by IzanagiServant Hextech Shyvana :iconizanagiservant:IzanagiServant 530 66 LoL_Silly: Annie by Treelub LoL_Silly: Annie :icontreelub:Treelub 119 26


I got published. 

My story "The Fruit of Memory" was selected for the Tales from the Perseus Arm anthology, alongside a lot of other good science fiction. 

So that's pretty cool.
  • Listening to: Borknagar - The Olden Domain


Daniel Zenon Klein
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I used to write things. I still do from time to time. My things twist and blaspheme.


Add a Comment:
Raxis Featured By Owner Edited Sep 4, 2018

You have been Sea Lioned.
lemontea Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2017
xonlyindreamsx Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016
Dropped by the ol' stomping grounds on a whim just to see what the old gang was up to. Just leaving a note to say hello. Glad to see a name change, not a strikethrough. I miss these days.
danielzklein Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Hi! Very happy to hear from you :) I live in Los Angeles now and make video games, so that's cool. If you want to listen to me rant about things, I do that on twitter now: 

What's new with you?
LexisSketches Featured By Owner May 8, 2015
Just stopping by to say hello :hug: Have a wonderful day!
raspil Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013   Writer
happy birthday :salute:
thiti Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
What da hell
kaujot Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
The end of an era.
zyphryus Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
Oh NO! You've joined the ranks and changed your name to your REAL NAME!
I lament the waning of the era of bizarre internet nicknames. Yes, its waning. Good thing I know you already or I'd be wondering who the hell this danielzklein person is. :p
ndifference Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Professional Writer
I saw what you did.
Add a Comment: