You don't know me, but this is a rough guess based on Google translate:
bezpodstawnie przypisach do wieku mamy Kalabar sto lat.
Tylko przyjaciołom van der daara uchodzi to p_?azem
I tylko raz.
(sign reads) Mama Kalabar Wywrozy (obviously)
unduly a footnote to the age we Kalabar hundred years.
Only friends of van der Daara considered a p_? Otal
And only once.
Even if Google & I missed the mark on most of the translation, my memories of this character from "Weeds" makes this comic page even funnier than it already is.