(Everyone is setting everything up for the big finale)
Me: Hurry up with that equipment, guys! This big finale to our review has got to get all who helped us and then some to see it right here. That way, we'll all finish it together.
Soos: I'm more of a mechanic than an electrician, dude.
Me: Still, you know a bit about wiring, right?
Emily: I actually taught him. The computer skills class at school showed us how to properly wire our systems.
Rosalina: So, how long till we go live?
Heartthrobber: I'm sure we're waiting to do this just as much as everyone is waiting to see it.
Emily: And we are live right...now! *plugs in the last plug*
(The cameras go on and everyone around the world, both real and fictional can see this)
Rod: What's up?
Hapu: I see we're live now.
Me: Success! It worked! Aloha, everybody! You're all viewing us right here, and you know why.
Bowser: You pretty much called us and told us, so yeah, I think we know.
Spring Man: Why are you making me see more of this? You know I knocked myself out last time I look at this piece of garbage!
Me: Don't worry, Springy. We're on the end game.
Inkling: We were told there would be some cool special effects. Looks like you have the same studio.
Me: Hey, we blew the budget to get you guys on here wirelessly to join in on the finale of this trilogy! Don't ruin the mood!
Decidueye: Now then, are you all ready?
Sergio: I am!
Erin: Me too!
Connor: Same here.
Mr. Game & Watch: Yes.
Me: Sweet! Strap in, viewers! Because we're going into overdrive on this final joyride that is the Super Smash Bros Mission From God Trilogy!
Heartthrobber: Two chapters left, and that clone still hasn't shown up. I fear I have already lost.
Emily: Just wait and see.
Rod: Can we get some snacks first?
Me: Alright. Everyone grab a snack, and then we can get started with the penultimate chapter.
(A few minutes later, everyone returns to the cameras with snacks)
Sonic: Okay, ready.
Mario: Here we go!
Me: I wanted to say that. But yeah. Let's do it. Melanie, this is for you, girl!
Melanie: Well, what are you waiting? let 'er rip!
Me: Okay! This is the end of Stupor Smash Bras Mishen from doG 3!
Chapter 27: The Moral of the Story(Me: Never go into any business venture with a pantsless man?
Alexis: If you don't repay money you owe, a dinosaur squishes your head?
Heartthrobber: Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets?
Melanie: Good jokes, but no.)
The moment you've all been waiting for.(Sergio: Sara gets killed off?
Rebekah: Oh, please tell us Sara gets killed off!
Red: That would be something.
Spring Man: A dream come true! It's not gonna happen, is it?
Everyone else: No.
Spring Man: I was afraid of that.)
Well, now that I have full control of the author's note again, due to Sakurai being occupied fighting my avatar, I'd like to talk about sports again. I'm sure you're all thrilled. This time, however, I'm going to talk about baseball. While I only started following football in college, I've been a fan of baseball since I was a little girl, even before one of the most recognizable Japanese people in American sports started playing for the closest MLB team to where I live. I even played softball for four years in high school (by "played" I mean "spent most of my time on the bench". I wasn't actually very good). Also, as a fun little note, the Mariners are actually owned by Nintendo, making them the only Nintendo property that regularly appears in games for non-Nintendo consoles (and, before you bring up the CD-I or something, I said REGULARLY appears). I was considering voting for Felix Hernandez on the Smash ballot based on that, but I'm sure the "no real people" rule trumps the fact that the team that he plays for is technically a first party Nintendo franchise.(Me: Well, I gotta say, Melanie, I did not know that. Probably because I'm not a sports whiz like you.
Melanie: The more you learn, Andy.
Decidueye: I always wondered how Baseball got to be such a popular sport in Japan. It feels more like their pastime than America's.
Mario: I still have nightmares about the CD-I myself.
Link: At least you only had one game on there. I was unfortunate and had three games based on my series. And I was only playable in 1 out of 3 of them.
Donkey Kong: Good thing my DKC series hadn't exactly kicked off yet. Who knows what they could have done with mine?
Pikachu: I think all of us later series dodged a bullet there.
Wario: Yeah. A Bullet Bill.
Me: But a sports team owned by Nintendo? I knew they were known for making playing cards before video games even existed, but this is news to me.)
Anyway, the reason I'm bringing up baseball is that the playoffs are going on. Like most people whose team didn't make it, I'm pulling for the Cubs to end their hundred-year curse. But, honestly, as long as the Cardinals don't win it all again I'll be happy. They're the only team in the playoffs who won a championship more recently than the early nineties. And I'm pretty sure I just guaranteed a Cardinals World Series victory. You're welcome, St. Louis!(Alexis: Why do both the NFL and MLB have teams named the Cardinals?
Emily: *shrugs and makes a moaning tone sounding like "I don't know"*
Me: When I think St. Louis, I think of my dad's favorite football team. Who moved to LA. Now, onto the actual chapter.)
Chapter 27: The Moral Of The Story(Hearthrobber: Insert any moral from Animanacs' Wheel of Morality segment here.)
Melanie and Sakurai stood on the battlefield, which was now utterly ruined from a full day of fighting. Sakurai was dual-wielding two massive swords: Guts' Dragon Slayer from Berserk and the version of the Masamune that Sephiroth wields in Final Fantasy VII. Melanie, meanwhile, had a set of laserbladed chainsaw-nunchucks in each hand. Suddenly, however, Sakurai's swords slipped from his hands, fell into the nearby river, and somehow the current was strong enough to carry them downstream.(Rosalina: Oh dear. Mr. Sakurai seems to have been nerfed like you requested, Melanie.
Branden: You know, speaking of FF7, considering this story was finished right before Cloud was announced as DLC for 4, I think I speak for everyone that it was more than serendipitous that you put that in.
Melanie: Ooh, I can predict the future!
Alexis: Can you predict this week's lottery numbers?
Melanie: Not that.)
"Hey! That river wasn't there before!" Sakurai's subtitles said.
"Yes it was," Melanie said, "the geography just wasn't established... or something. Yeah."
"You're cheating!" Sakurai's subtitles said.(Erin: Uh-oh! That classic cheating excuse!
Soos: More like that infamous one.)
"Am not!" Melanie said.
"Are too!" Sakurai's subtitles said. Suddenly, Melanie's laser-chainsawchucks exploded for no reason.(Theresa: And now Melanie's nerfed.
"You big, dumb doo-doo head!" Melanie said.(Alexis: *sarcastic* Oh, doo-hoo head! That's a real good insult! Couldn't really go with shit, could you?)
"I know you are, but what am I," Sakurai's subtitles said.(Emily: When did this turn into a schoolyard fight?)
Melanie pulled out a sword and tried to hit Sakurai with it... but wait! He had a force field! But Melanie had another sword, that breaks force fields! But Sakurai had a better force field that resists swords that break force fields! But Melanie had an even better sword that breaks force fields that resist swords that break force fields!(Rod: Okay, I see where this is going.
Inkling: The writing starts to get lazy.)
"Wait..." Melanie said, "don't you see the point we've reached?"
"Ha! You're just giving up because my next trick will beat you for sure!" Sakurai's subtitles said.
"Does it involve having an even better force field to beat my even better sword?" Melanie asked.
"No!" Sakurai's subtitles said, before he admitted, "... yes."(Me: Looks like you hit a writer's block bigger than Stakataka, Melanie.
Melanie: It was more of an inside joke, but you didn't miss the mark by much.)
"You see, I'm not sure how the Japanese schooling system works, but here in 'Murica our children often have pretend fights with each other that inevitably reach an impasse with an infinite series of stronger force fields and stronger weapons to break those force fields. Then, one of the kids says 'girls can't break force fields because girls are dumb!' so the other kid slaps him IRL, which leads to the teacher walking over and saying 'Melanie Takahashi, go to the principal's office' and then the girl does what she's told and her parents are called and they tell her she's not allowed to play video games for a whole week. And then her mother asks her if she slapped that boy because she secretly loves him and the girl says 'no'. But her mom doesn't believe her, even though the girl is telling the truth because she actually has a little crush on that cute girl with a ponytail who sits across the aisle from her on the bus every day, but even the girl herself doesn't realize this because she's ten years old and it's 1995 and depictions of lesbians in the media aren't widespread yet, and..." Melanie said.(Me: Uh...I'm just gonna assume you're setting up an example and not really meaning it.
Decidueye: We shall join you in that assumption.)
"I highly doubt that the scenario plays out exactly that way every time," Sakurai's subtitles said, "but, you're right. We seem to have reached a stalemate... EXCEPT I HAVE THE INFINITY FORCE FIELD THAT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN BREAK AND..."
Melanie sighed, "Infinity-Plus-One Sword."(Emily: You know even the competitors get bored when they sigh like that knowing it's going nowhere.)
"Dammit!" Sakurai's subtitles said, "so, what now?"
"I dunno. Maybe go deal with the issues with Sara that I came here specifically to deal with?" Melanie suggested.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Sakurai's subtitles said. And, so, they teleported to Sara's location.(Rosalina: I knew we were gonna see her eventually, but I was hoping it would be a bit later on.
Spring Man: *sarcastic* Gee, we're gonna see more of Sara! How swell!)
"Oh no!" Sara said, "They're here!"(Alexis: Final meme fail?)
"Sara, it's time for you to just admit it. Stop pretending to be something you're not," Melanie said.(Theresa: Stop pretending to be a Mary-Sue?
Connor: Yeah, like that's gonna happen.)
"No!" Sara said, "I mean, I'm not pretending to be anything I'm not."(Harold: What did she mean by that?
Mega Man: Beats me.)
"Well, that didn't work," Sakurai's subtitles said, "I don't have time for this."
Sakurai kicked Sara and knocked her to the ground.(Me: Okay, on the count of three. 1...2...3...
Everyone: THANK YOU!!!)
"Sara!" Haley shouted.
"Yeah, I wanted to maybe try something else first," Melanie said, "but I guess violence it is."(Me: Oh, how we wish we were there right now, tearing her apart.
Emily: Oh, ol' Gall would definitely wanna take a whack at it!
Heartthrobber: And he'd love to beat up Sara, too.)
She joined Sakurai in kicking Sara while she was on the ground. Meanwhile, Haley grabbed the Monado from Shulk.
"I'm really feeling it!" Shulk said, not even noticing his weapon was gone.(Mr. Game & Watch: Yeah. Just...just keep telling yourself that, Shulk.)
"St... stop it!" Haley yelled at Melanie and Sakurai, electricity shooting through her body due to the fact that she's obviously not the Monado's chosen wielder, "don't hurt her!"
"Uh, I'm not sure if you've played Xenoblade before," Melanie said, "but the Monado can't do shit to either of us, but has a pretty high chance of killing you due to the whole 'you're not Shulk' thing."(Me: Man, I really wish I played Xenoblade myself so I could learn about all of this. I still recall Sara having to fight that caterpillar thing she couldn't fight so early on in the first story.
Melanie: And Haley has it worse here.)
Suddenly, however, the Monado began to change drastically, becoming much more ornate-looking, turning from it's usual red coloration to a teal-ish one, and having the Japanese Kanji for "God" appear on its panel. Melanie and Sakurai both knew what this meant and backed away from Sara, who was bleeding on the ground.(Emily: Oh no! Now Haley is Mary-Sue-ish!
Rebekah: There's just no end to this, is there?)
"Well, fuck you too, Alvis," Melanie said.(Me: And fuck me, too, for not playing the game and getting any of the references. Why couldn't she grab the Master Sword from Link instead?)
"I call haxx," Sakurai's subtitles said. Haley reached Sara and helped her to her feet.(Emily: I wonder what the Japanese word for "haxx" is.
Alexis: We ain't using Google Translate for that.
Sonic: Probably another Engrish thing, but correct me if I'm wrong, please.)
"Thanks Haley," Sara said, "you're such a great friend."
"Friend?" Haley said, "Just... a friend?"
"What?" Sara asked.(Sergio: She never got the hint in those author notes, did she?
Erin: Not a one.
Harold: Now it's time for her to learn the truth.
Connor; If I may borrow from the movie Trolls...
Mr. Dinkles: Oh, snap.
Melanie: You all knew it before she did. Excellent.)
"Maybe Lauren was right about you," Haley said. She gave Shulk his Monado back, and it reverted from the Monado III back to the default Monado I, "for the last few days, she's been telling me to give up, that you'll always be too ashamed of how you really feel."
"Haley, you don't mean..." Sara said.(Me; Drumroll, please!
*Heartthrobber starts shaking her breasts rapidly*)
"I love you, Sara," Haley said, "I want to believe you really love me back, but, you're just..."(Me: Ta-da!)
"Haley... you told me you weren't a lesbian! You're a liar just like Lauren!" Sara slapped Haley in the face.(Theresa: More signs that she's a monster.
Inkling: See why no one liked her? I saw why no one liked her.)
"I'm not a lesbian! I told you I was bisexual when we first met! Don't you know what that means?" Haley asked.(Polar: Apparently, she doesn't.
Hapu: You could tell her time and time again, but she will never learn.)
"What does you being a bicyclist have to do with you being a lesbian? Stop changing the subject!" Sara said.(Rod: If I had a dollar for every brain Sara doesn't have, I'd have one dollar.
Hapu: What's a bicyclist?)
"This stupid teenage argument is starting to bore me," Sakurai's subtitles said, "SHINKU HADOKEN!!!"
The massive ball of energy hit Haley and sent her flying. She landed a little over fifty feet away, unconscious.(Me: And I was just about to do a Team Rocket blast off joke, too.
Alexis: Eh, could have seen it coming.)
"Holy shit! A little harsh, don't you think?!" Melanie said.
"Wait for it..." Sakurai's subtitles said, "I know what I'm doing."(Rod: That's what the green Duck Brother said.)
"Haley!" Sara ran over to the unconscious girl, "Haley, please wake up!"
There was no response.(Branden: Top-
Me: No! No! No Top 10 Anime Deaths jokes on my review!)
"Haley! Please! You can't die!" Sara said, "Please! I can't go on without you! I... I... I LOVE YOU!!!"(Me: WHHHHHAAAAAAAAA???)
"Do... do you mean it Sara?" Haley said, waking up.
"Yes, Haley. Everyone was right about me. You were right, my mom was right, Lauren was right, all those liberals who Obama paid to comment on my stories were right. I was the only one who was wrong," Sara said, "except Ashley and Olivia's cousin Melanie over there. She said I was an imbecile, but I'm actually a lesbian."(Rebekah: And she never found out what an imbecile really is.
Alexis: I think Sara's been busy playing 7 Minutes In Heaven, because she's finally coming out of the closet!
Heartthrobber: Hey! I wanted to say that!)
"I'm still pretty sure you're both, Sara," Lauren said.(Decidueye: Don't we all.)
"Wait... but that doesn't make sense," Sara said.
"Just drop it, Sara," Melanie said, "focus on what's important."(Rosalina: Exactly. Atoning for your sins and starting anew.)
"Right," Sara said, "Haley, do you... do you want to go out with me?(Rosalina: That's a start.)
"Sara, it makes me so happy to hear you say that," Haley said, "it was almost as if all the injuries I had from being hit by a giant orb of death went away the moment you told me you love me. Of course I want to go out with you!"(Me: *villain impression* Drat! I've been foiled by the power of love!)
"Yay!" Sara said.
"I guess the moral of the story is: there's no problem that firing massive ki blasts at teenagers can't solve," Melanie said.(Melanie: And I'll admit, you guys were pretty close with your guesses.
Spring Man: How was the doorknob licking one close?)
"And, with that, it looks like my job here is done," Sakurai's subtitles said, "but first..."(Soos: Is he gonna erase these stories from existence?
Me: If he is, then will my reviews cease to exist?)
Sakurai waved his hand, and all the Smashers were returned to their canon personalities and teleported back to their home worlds.(Connor: (as Jack) I hope there's still time. (as Sandy Claws) To fix the Smash characters? Of course there is! I'm Masahiro Sakurai!)
"How did you do that all at once?" Melanie asked, "when I tried to return them to canon en masse like that, they... well, you saw."(Luigi: At least I'm not my Mama Luigi form anymore.)
"How? I'm Masahiro Fucking Sakurai, that's how," Sakurai's subtitles said, "And, Melanie, one last thing before I go."
"What?" Melanie asked, waiting to see what timeless advise the game developer would depart with.(Mario: Satori Iwata will never be replaced no matter what?)
"I'm the biggest troll in the Smash Bros. community, don't you forget it," Sakurai's subtitles said, "and if you try to butt in on my turf again, the entire SSB5 roster is going to be fifty shades of Pit. Sakurai, out!"(Mario: I guess not.
Connor: I refer you to my last joke.
Mr. Dinkles: Oh, snap.)
And, just like that, Sakurai was gone.
"Well, I guess I better get going to," Melanie said. She turned towards the group of girls. Sara and Haley were too busy making out to pay attention, though.(Erin: Oh, I hope they don't turn into Total Drama Season 2 Bridgette and Geoff.)
"Finally, all this stupid shit is over," Lauren said.(Me: Not yet, but we're getting close!)
"Well, actually there's going to be one more chapter on Monday to close everything out," Melanie said, "but the whole world-merging thing is about to be at it's end."(Soos: And this will be uploaded on a Friday.)
"Monday?" Katy asked, "Isn't it Monday today?"(Inkling: I hate Mondays. I want lasagna. I knew a Garfield joke was gonna have to be made soon.)
"Actually, it's Friday. We've kinda been freezing time a bunch," Melanie said, "anyway, goodbye, everybody."(Me: Goodbye, fan fic, Melanie! We'll miss you!)
And, with that, Melanie pulled their reality and Sara's story apart once again.(Emily: Thank goodness. All that merging was getting too hectic.)End of chapter 27
Emily: Is it realy?
Alexis: Can it be?
Me: Oh, it's real, gang! We're at the final chapter of the trilogy! Finally! The finale!
Rosalina: I am so overjoyed that this is pretty much over.
Melanie: Come on, guys! You've got a story to finish!
Me: Right, right. Now then...
(Suddenly, the portal to the afterlife suddenly opens up revealing Galleom and the Pixie)
Sergio: What's he doing here? He's dead!
Pixie: Yeah, no. I can't take this big lug anymore. He's been more trouble than he's worth on the plains of the afterlife!
Galleom: But I just wanted to see what the other realms were like, see if I could make a transfer there! I was bored.
Pixie: Look, man. The sentence was final and you were stuck there, okay? But no more! *turns to me* Hey, you. Give me that Keystone.
Me: Why? Are you gonna make it so that we'll never see Galleom ever again? *hands it over*
Pixie: No. I'm gonna give Galleom his life back.
Galleom: Yeah. Turns out that I'm making a comeback in Smash Bros Ultimate.
Me: But you were killed off in my 8th year anniversary story! We saw it!
Galleom: Well, it looks like my appearance in Ultimate is gonna retcon it, little buddy. Don't need this thingy over me anymore. *points to halo*
Pixie: And so, Galleom, as the keeper of the Neutral Place, I hereby re-grant you your life. *claps hands*
(A magic beam brings Galleom back to life)
Galleom: Yeah! I am back, baby!
Me: Oh, come on! I wasn't gonna do this! Really! Why would you be back in Ultimate?
Galleom: Sakurai has plans for me appearing again. *to Inkling Girl* And you, Inkling, I wanna see what your skills are like.
Inkling: Bring it on!
(Galleom's old helmet skull from the end of the 8 year anniversary special is erased as is his old grave)
Me: Thanks, pixie. You retconned a big death.
Pixie: You're welcome. Hopefully, the next time this guy bites the dust, he won't be where I am. So long. *leaves and the portal closes*
Galleom: So, what do you think, guys? The gang's all back together!
Rosalina: Sure looks that way.
Galleom: Oh, and Decidueye, I have some sad news.
Decidueye: What do you mean? *Galleom whispers it into Decidueye's ears*
WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T MAKE THE CUT AND INCINEROAR DID?!
Galleom: Hey, it was their decision.
Decidueye: I mean you—... I—... I can't b—... Chiggidaba... He—g...I FUCKIN' HATE SAKURAI!!!
Soos: Hey, dude, relax.
Rosalina: You still have Pokken Tournament DX.
Decidueye: IT'S NOT THE SAME!
Galleom: Oh, and a Piranha Plant is available for a limit time as a pre-order bonus.
...Piranha Plant? I think I just died. Again.
PLEASE STAND BY
Me: Okay, uh...looks like there's been a change in the final chapter's lineup. Decidueye is gonna be out for a little while.
Decidueye: *fetal position*
I didn't make the cut?! Oh, Arceus, I didn't make the cut?!
Me: So, finishing up the story with us is...the newly resurrected Galleom.
Rod: This took a strange turn.
Sergio: That's for sure.
Melanie: Well, if it's going by how the direct went, then what choice did he have?
Theresa: After all, it happens all the time in-
Alexis: CAN WE JUST START THE FRIGGIN' FINAL CHAPTER?!
Theresa: Right. Sorry.
Me: Okay, here we go. Time to end this.
Chapter 28: CHAP 20: THE FINEL BATTAL BUTT THEIRS NUT RILEY A BATAL(Me: That first half sounds naughty.
Emily: And Riley Scurred will not be joining us tonight.)
Tha storey cums 2 an ind.(Ashley: Gross.)
Hi everone sorey I didant updat in liek a weak. Sum reely impotent stuf hapan taht chang my lief. I dont remamber muck off wat hapan on tha weakand ore on Mondae butt I did remamber sumthin taht im shur wil surpris everone. I tolded Haley taht I luv her and nao wer lesbans daten eech otter. I caled her 2 and she sez she remamber that 2 evan tho she aslo dosant remamber muk abot tha weakand or moast off Moondae butt she dose aslo remamber taht. Its weerd becuz I thot bean a lesban wold maek me feal evuller butt I just fell happyer than b4 and not evul atall I men I dont wanna wership Satin nao or anethin. Akshully I thank my dad mite off ben ron abot alota stuf he tolded me becuz I gotted a cal frum my mom erlier taht sed my dad wented crazey and akused her off getin a chiness sorsares naem Melony 2 scar him in2 dropen tha caes and evan my dads loyers wernt gud enuf 2 maek taht luk liek sumthin a normel persan wold say so my dad is prolly crazey and is gona loose tha caes agents my mothra and hav 2 pay alamony and chilled suppart.(Me: You know, it's sad that we have to go back to seeing this garbled up language of Sara-ish one last time.
Melanie: But that's how her canon works. Sorry, man.
Emily: But look on the bright side. Sara finally came to the realization of her gender.
Galleom: Yeah. And one last otter joke, too.
Alexis: Do you think we should tell them what happened?
Rosalina: What? And ruin this beautiful reunion?
Heartthrobber: You mad, girlfriend?
Galleom: Good. You finally found out that everything you were told was a bunch of gobbledygook. Took your beliefs too far, and now you saw that as an error.
Melanie: Yeah, I did that to Sara's father. Too bad his ex-wife won't believe him. He's gone cuckoo. *does the cuckoo loop*
Emily: Glad he's not my dad.)
Its alredy almos tha weakand agen and thus wil be tha furst weakand Haley adn me spand 2geter ass a cuple. U no wat? 4 my hole lief I feered bean a lesban butt nao taht I no Ima lesban I dont thank I hav anethin 2 be scar off anemore. Expect spidors thos r stil scarey.(Soos: Have a good weekend, you two! You deserve each other!
Polar: That's right, Sara. Be happy for who you really are.
Galleom: *Patrick Star impression* AAH! SPIDERS! SPIDERS! GET 'EM OFF ME! GET 'EM OFF ME!)
(Well, it kinda makes sense that coming out of the closet wouldn't magically make Sara a good writer. Though I'm sure being less hostile towards her mother and teachers will probably end up saving her education in the long run. Sorry for another anticlimactic ending, especially since this chapter is so incredibly short, though really it could be argued that Chapters 22-27 were the real climax and this is just an epilogue. With this chapter done, Sara's story is officially over. I'd like to give some big speech about the nearly three years this has been going on for, but honestly I can't think of much to say, except thanks for reading, everyone!)(Branden: That Dyslexia of hers is gonna take some getting around, that's for sure.
Sonic: At least she's finally moving on and doing better.
Mega Man: And sure. We'll go with that logic on chapters 22-27.
Me: Her story may be over, but we're not done commentating on it yet. We still have to look at the actual epilogue itself.
Alexis: And Melanie, if you had made a speech, we'd probably have to break this finale into two parts we've filled up so much of this deviation's file space already.
Melanie: Good thing I made it short, sweet and to the point. Thanks again.
Me: No problem. Now, let's put an end to this.)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)(Me: :icondisbelief-plz: There's more after it?
Melanie: Relax, they're not that long.)
CHAP 20: THA FINALE BATOL BUTT THERES NOT REELY A BATTOL
I wuz prepair 2 fite Lauren butthan sudanly I stapped.(Me: Might as well make one last joke at this. Did you realize that she was too powerful and you couldn't stop her?)
"Lauren I dont wana fite" I sed. I throd my sord on tha grond.(Emily: Stand your ground, Lauren!)
"Wy not?" sed Lauren.
"Becuz I dont hav a resin 2 hat lesbans anemore" I sed "BECUZ IMA LESBAN!"(Galleom: Dun dun dun!)
Everone gapsed.(Hapu: Good. They did it for us.)
"So I wuz rite al alon?" sed Lauren.
"Ya u wer" I sed "al that stuf we did togeter wuz lesban stuff. And sins I wuz nevar rap I gess tahts not hao u becum a lesban. In fakt I dont thank I wuz evar reely strate."(Alexis: Final time we use this joke! She didn't hear 13-Amp perform!
Soos: She finally realized it, dudes! It's a miracle!)
"So wut dos this men?" Lauren aksed.(Heartthrobber: Not men. Women.)
"It mens I hop u and Kairi r hapey togeter. I no ur prolly stil made at me 4 al tha bad thins I sed abot u butt I hop on dae we can al be frends" I sed.(Me: Uh...some kind of Kingdom Hearts joke about Kairi! I don't know if she became a lesbian, but I don't think she's into Sora! That's all I got!
Emily: It's gonna take a lot of time for her to forgive you, Sara. And a lot of work, too, to show it.)
"Wut abot u?" sed Lauren.
"I fond luv ons agen" I sed. I wlaked ovar 2 Haley and unted her. Than we kised rite in frant off everone. Expect God and Jesas who wernt their 4 sum resin and nether wuz Satin. That wuz weerd becuz they were al in tha lust chaptar. O well.(Harold: That's because Melanie erased them with her omnipotent powers that you don't seem to remember since this is taking place before that time.
Theresa: That version of them is better off erased.)
"I luv u Haley" I sed.
"I luv u 2" she sed.(Me: Okay, everyone, even if you don't mean it, on the count. 1...2...3...
Sorey I ned 2 and this hear. Haley jus caled me in reel lief and I thank talken 2 her is moar impotent than riten thus.(Me: And honestly, we don't mind that. Anything would be better than writing this...and reviewing it.)
THA NED(Everyone: OKILY DOKILY!!!)
(Also, note that Sara talks about how it's "almos tha weakand agen". She's actually talking about last weekend, in case you're wondering. Those time freezes permanently put Sara's universe four days behind ours)(Soos: Makes sense to me.
Heartthrobber: Whatever works.
Emily: I'm all for that.
Alexis: No wonder she doesn't remember.
Rosalina: I can live with that.
Galleom: Color me convinced.
Me: And that is why you should never mess with time, kids. Something always goes wrong.)THE REAL END
Me: And just like that...the final entry of the Super Smash Bros Mission From God trilogy...is over.
Emily: So, we finally did it?
Galleom: Sure looks that way!
Alexis: Sweet! We are finally done with this trilogy!
Me: Yeah! And you know what?
Soos: What what?
Me: I...have to admit something about it.
Rosalina: What is it?
Me: I think I kinda like this trilogy now.
Me: Yeah. I mean it. Sure, I used to hate it because of what was going on in the first two stories. But thanks to this final one, it's finally come full circle. I never thought I would change my thoughts, but now that I see what Melanie was going for with this one, I can finally say that I'm fine with it now.
Melanie: So, not only did you enjoy reviewing my trilogy, but now you have a newfound respect for it?
Me: Yeah. Because now I know what you were doing. It's clear to me now.
Sergio: Wow. Never thought I'd see the day.
Theresa: You know, he does have a point. Some people can take things too far, and Sara was like that until the end there.
Spring Man: So...it's not awful? But at the same time it is?
Me: Something like that. I hated the Sara from the first two stories. I hated what she did in them. And I can't say I easily forgive her for finally coming out of the closet, but I do like this new path she'll be going down. I laughed, I cried, I went through many trials to do this trilogy, I had fun doing it, and I just can't think of any other way to send this off than to say, thank Melanie it's finally over.
Melanie: Congratulations, Andy. You got through it and found it as a guilty pleasure.
Me: Yeah. That's what it is. So, yeah. We don't have to like or hate the same thing. Thanks to the third story, I can say that Super Smash Bros Mission From God may look like a piece of crap, but I understand why. It's to plagiarize those right-wing and Christian extremists and how they take their beliefs to far as well as attack those that are the opposite of them. Nobody's perfect, and Sara is certainly a prime example of denying that at first, and Melanie showed an example herself about how no matter how powerful you are, you'll still have some flaws. And I can always be thankful that, in the end, our favorite Nintendo characters were still brought back to the way they were. So, yeah. In the end, I went from downright despising this series to actually enjoying it for what it truly is. And, Melanie, I thank you greatly for giving me the opportunity to see just the fun you had in such satire.
Melanie: Don't mention it, Andy. Well, too late for that, you just did. But I'm happy you enjoyed reviewing my series.
Hapu: And we had fun helping, too.
Inkling Girl: Even if some of those chapters were kind of a hassle.
Sergio: Don't we know it.
Me: Hey, I thank you guys, too. It was a roller coaster of epic proportions, but now, it's finally time to move on. Super Smash Bros Mission From God, you are finished!
Me: That's all for this review, and this trilogy! Thanks again for everything from reviewing it with me to reading my reviews! I'll never forget this! Till next time, I am Dandy Andy! Tootles!
Galleom: This has been the Super Smash Bros Mission From God Trilogy Review Series!
(Credits roll)THANK YOU TO ALL THE WATCHERS AND GUESTS FOR THIS SERIES! WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!
Me: So, Galleom, it looks like you're here to stay now, huh?
Galleom: Yep. Just think, I'll be hanging out with you guys like all times.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Emily: I don't think Decidueye's over it yet.
Heartthrobber: *sighs* Well, Andy, looks like you won the bet. Sara's clone didn't show up ever again after that one appearance. So, I guess booty time is off. And I'm gonna keep my end of the deal and binge watch a show of your choosing.
Me: That's right. And I think I may have the next show in mind. I think it's time I decided to review a Netflix series.
NEXT REVIEW: HARVEY STREET KIDS
NEXT PROJECT: CAPTAIN N REBOOT PILOT
Me: Oh, yeah. We're going there.
Me: And Galleom...welcome back.