It's been a while since I last posted and people have sending me worried messages, so I wanted to let you all know I'm doing fine. I don't have corona and I'm not dead. My computer broke down a while ago, and the consistent problems of working with a broken system and not having the money to properly fix or replace it eventually made me very demotivated to draw.
As an artist I've always suffered from self-doubt and massive imposter syndrome. No matter how good I get, I'm always critical at my work. The last batch of commissions I did (even though for a good cause) just emphasized that feeling of not being creatively ready to venture into professional spheres. I honestly respect the people who do, but it's not for me. The pressure of having to churn out quality work on a time limit (next to my regular work) burned me out, and I needed some time off the internet to recuperate.
Thank you all for your supportive messages. I'm trying to pick up my art again. Slowly, and working on my personal project mostly. See you around.
Small update (rant) since I've been so silent lately. After a shit ton of problems with my 7 year old computer (hardware errors) I decided that it was finally time to put the poor old thing to rest. So I ordered a new computer. Turned out it didn't work. After much debating with the helpdesk (read; me calling them every name under the sun and threatening lawsuits until they finally put their ass to work) I got to send it in for repairs. But because corona is the go-to excuse for even online companies to be slow as hell these days, it can take another couple of weeks before it gets to work. Meanwhile I'm running my old PC with one (faulty) piece of RAM removed because it doesn't want to start up otherwise. And it's slow as hell. Needless to say, this didn't leave me in the best of moods... so that's why I've been mostly off social media :)
Edit: Added a picture adequately describing my state of mind