I'm still alive

2 min read

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DamaiMikaz's avatar

It's been a while since I last posted and people have sending me worried messages, so I wanted to let you all know I'm doing fine. I don't have corona and I'm not dead. My computer broke down a while ago, and the consistent problems of working with a broken system and not having the money to properly fix or replace it eventually made me very demotivated to draw.

As an artist I've always suffered from self-doubt and massive imposter syndrome. No matter how good I get, I'm always critical at my work. The last batch of commissions I did (even though for a good cause) just emphasized that feeling of not being creatively ready to venture into professional spheres. I honestly respect the people who do, but it's not for me. The pressure of having to churn out quality work on a time limit (next to my regular work) burned me out, and I needed some time off the internet to recuperate.

Thank you all for your supportive messages. I'm trying to pick up my art again. Slowly, and working on my personal project mostly. See you around.

© 2020 - 2021 DamaiMikaz
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LNBAKAKiller7's avatar

Take all time you require, we will be awaiting your return.


akittyk's avatar

Rarely log into DA but glad to see your doing ok!

Take all the time you need, art is supposed to be fun or at least enjoyable no need to rush things. but looking forward to the day you do come back!

jincon's avatar
If you haven't already read the book written by Hirohiko Araki "Manga In Theory and Practice". Your Project Emion drawings with those descriptions already have you on the "golden way/the royal road" of content creation. I think you have something special.
Mys-M4g1ka's avatar

Can't wait to see what you have next to share.

Your references and sketchdumps have honestly really helped me improve as an artist.

Glad to see you're still hanging in there. Here's to a new year.


WilhelmTheloniousF's avatar

"Still Alive" By Jonathan Coulton starts playing

MoonyMina's avatar

I'm happy to get news from you, and understand the time you need offline... I'm sorry you've gone through these times, though... it's really unfair you suffer from impostor syndrome, because you're a wonderful artist... and very unique...

take care... take all the time you need and see you around when you're ready to come back!

Ghost-Freak's avatar

Glad to hear your ok

Blunell's avatar

Feels good hearing from you again :) I was worried to see the lack of activity on your social media. Although part of me assumed your broken computer might have played a part in that, turns out I wasn't wrong (and I can relate, since my own hardware is now defective - both the tablet and computer. It kills the motivation to draw, for sure!)

Please take care of yourself, and all the time you need until you feel like doing art again. It's not a race after all :) Big hugs! :heart: :huggle:

Ulnarevern's avatar

Glad to hear some news, I nearly was among the messages sender but I felt you'd have enough of those already.

Keep taking care of yourself :)

Sunramar's avatar

Glad you are still here!

Don't worry about your self-doubt, it's always gonna be there. Almost all artists have it, you aren't alone. We need to learn to accept it. In fact, I try to look the positive side of doubting my art - it's what makes an artist grow (Picasso never liked his and that got him to world famous museums :D). If anyone always likes their art, that means they have reached their peak and there is no more room for improvement. They won't ever get the rush and feeling of accomplishment when they find some new technique or level up their skills. Getting past this type of demotivation comes from seeing that your self-doubt is only there to push you forward.

So don't let it get to your head. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but the key is switching your point of view. All of your fans know you are a great, hardworking artist, so KEEP AT IT YOU AWESOME HUMAN!!!;P

ARCarts's avatar

I am glad to hear from you, I was starting to get worried. I hope the best for your mental health. I know how crushing self doubt can be. I've been having my own bout with it.

You're one of the hardest working artist I know. You both inspire me and have my respect.

TheKikkaKibaz's avatar

I'm glad to hear again from you! I missed your art (and humor) already!

I'm sorry to hear about your computer and the desmotivation. It sucks, but I'm glad you're slowly picking up on your personal project again!

thomasVanDijk's avatar

I'm still alive too! I hope you find your way back into drawing soon

chronicvillainy's avatar

Glad to hear you're doing alright! Take the time you need, and I totally feel you on getting burnt out when trying to do anything with it on a professional level.

Ossian94's avatar

Glad to hear you're doing alright. I missed your work on my watch list. Take your time and do what makes you comfortable.

tdalton89's avatar

I am glad that you are back here and that you are fine. Take the time you need. I hope that you will regain the joy of drawing with a lot of calm and intuition. :)

UNSCProCrew's avatar

eyyyyyyy, his here

RainbowKame's avatar

Wonderful hearing from you. Sorry you've been feeling very demotivated lately... Fight passed the depression best you can and take good care of yourself. I really love your characters and stories, no matter the art quality, and I'm really looking forward seeing and reading more of your Emion project. :heart:

Similar to you, I'm holding onto my dream creating my story, no matter how very depressed I get. Sadly my dying spirit is heavily reflected within my art, but I'm finding ways to cope and be free from the stress. Learn to stop criticizing yourself and shake out the thoughts what people might think and say about your work. It isn't healthy feeding yourself so very much negative energy. Makes us feel like we are being heavily weighed down drowning and we merely need to free ourselves from it and flow through our love and passion. :heart:

Lillendandie's avatar

I feel the same way about commissions. It's more appealing to be known for and sell my original works. That takes a lot of the pressure off and gives me a sense of freedom to create. You have wonderful OCs, so I know there's a lot you can do without being an 'industry artist' or overly marketing yourself. You can do it and I hope your PC troubles end soon.

P-i-e-r-r-e's avatar

I missed your inktober sketches this year, but at least you're fine. Take care!

Kim-cat3120's avatar

Glad to hear from you, and I wish you luck with getting back into things!

VividAsLife's avatar

I recently suffered from burn out too, and it is the worst. Glad you're okay, and remember to take your time.

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