Here is a list of all the unfair, ridiculous rules that Simon Blanchflower and his wife Binky have in place for their kids. WARNING: I DO NOT condone any of these rules and I consider all of them to be abusive and messed-up. Simon and his wife are supposed to be cruel, over-the-top parents.
1. Simon's kids are not allowed to watch most cartoons, especially American cartoons and Peppa Pig.
2. Simon's kids can only watch TV in French. (This is a rule used by pretentious actress Gwyneth Paltrow.) Exceptions are the news and sports.
3. Simon's kids must memorize "The Water-Babies" by Charles Kingsley.
4. Simon's kids are not allowed to read the