If I listen closely
I can hear
this evening swallowing.
But I am falling
up my own ass
and only perceive my drowning.
Therein you lie inside my mind
my mind of lies and disarray:
Outwards you smile, inside you're frowning.
'Coz you and I
are one and he
and we are disavowing.
Innuendo.
Is that dreaded milli-second
before the icy shower water
dishonors your spine
Dissolving it into a million goosebumps.
Making.
You.
Shudder and Gasp.
Like a waking premonition
That wailing alarm
confirming the end of respite
And the agony of Monday morning.
Taking.
You.
To Task.
So when your lopsided smile
narrows into a stoic
//We need to talk// look
Deep within me,
Someone says with
calm quiet fore bonding
//Heartbreak,
Here You Are
At Last.//
I want you
because your fingers
clear tornado skies
by simply interlacing with mine
I want you
because nothing i did
is ever as enormous
as that
//You're so silly//
dimpled smile you reply
my Nay-Sayers with
I want you
To petty-issue bicker with
To Love you deeply
To sidekick your every ploy
On to every victory podium
Or defeated ditch.
I want you
To want me
To want you too.
Insecure,
I hide beneath your feelings
Uncertain of my own.
You see
though this anomaly started out Love
as your eyes
and sweet soft clasp
confirm true,
I remain Nowhere Anywhere.
Trying to outrun
every negative aspect
of what we are beginning here
together.
Alas!
Your reaction to
said alleged Ex
sows that cataclysm
all cheated hearts know well.
a.k.a the
RED FLAG.
One sand-covered-candy afternoon
When youth seemed sky-eternal-blue,
A lunch break bell rang!
And we all pored out to play.
You were there.
Amidst that laughter and play
that only the infantile possess
and dole out without measure,
Everyone ran free!
Alas
the pre-clang tine of the bell's clapper innuendoed:
the last of the mirth
the end of reprieve
the packing away of half eaten sandwiches
doomed to the trashcan.
I try to relive and fail
how utterly carefree we were.
i try to recall, and falter
that You Are there Always.
Embalmed in honey-dipped-nostalgia
Of bygone years.
My crayola-pinching-companion,
You are there with me.