Reading: Kimetsu no Yaiba
Watching: Black Mirror
I feel I need to get this off my chest because it will make me feel better. Beginning of 2019 for me, sucked. It from car problems, health problems, empty promises, and my so call tour. When Katsucon was only hours away, I've received an email about buying a table and I wanted to surprise you all the start on my 2019 tour. However, it was then before midnight, I got a kidney stone that put a stop to that. Even though I had my family and friends support, I felt depressed that I couldn't power through this like I could in the past. I was able to make it to Katsucon on the last day and despite seeing my old friends and going to a convention again, I felt the depression that I couldn't do it. After that, I've wanted to release Dark-Blood Vol. 3 and suddenly, my eye infection came back worse than ever. Every time I even talk about it or anyone asks about it, I feel that it's going to come back, and that's why I don't do any updates on it. I had a plan on releasing 3 volumes a year and that had to be put on hold which made me even more depressed. I told myself that I can still do this and that nothing was going to stop me when I start my tour for this year. Even though I went to 2 conventions, I couldn't attend the ones I already paid for. I couldn't even help my friend and I felt so bad that I told him we were going to team up in the past as we did, I couldn't keep my promise and I felt like I failed him. I was supposed to be in California right now, but due to my mismanagement, I end up messing up all of that. I couldn't attend the conventions. My health problems were coming back. I kept pushing back the release date of my book. I couldn't do anything. And then, I remember what my cousin told me about opening my business. At first, I didn't want to do it because of all the paperwork, etc. I thought about it for weeks and on one day, I felt like I had enough, and I said: "I have to do this"! So, I did the research and with the help of my cousin and aunt, I was able to get my business license. But know, I needed a business account, and that wasn't easy. They told me to make a business plan to see what I needed to do so it would be successful. Then, I met my mentor, and he is helping find my way. Right now, my business is slow, and it has only 1 employee which is me, but at least it has something. I'm taking the time to think real situations on what I can do. The 1st 5 months have been hard, and it's a pain to not only to admit to having depression but fight against it. I still plan on going to 50 conventions for 2020. I still plan on more updates for my manga. And, I still have a lot to do in order to see this though. Life is not easy, and it should be. However, this is something I've wanted to do for years, and I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet.