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the mood of the world of people changes
with the cloud cover
 the sunspot cycle
  the time of day
    the  magnetism of the earth
  - and with it changes my mood

and yet, while I  ride this shared carriage,
while I am swept along in the flood of the great river
I find  I bob up and down in my  own small turbulent eddies
distinct from that great flow
small swirls and undercurrents
in which I am
distinctly
unsettled
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
remarkable.  time just  seems to carry right on carrying on.   how did this happen?   I'm sure you say that on your last legs at 97 -  you say "What?  how did this happen?  I'm sure it hasn't been that long since I was...  "
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
a new phenomenon for me.  I'm noticing that very few nudes interest me any more.  I  think I've seen it all. obviously  if I see a nude of someone very beautiful I react  like I've seen someone beautiful,  but the nakedness is starting to seem like the least  interesting aspect of the image.

maybe it's a temporary thing.  maybe you really do lose that all embracing libido that colors all you see and do with the pink glow of a need to reproduce.  anyway I really don't have the urge to do girlie pictures at the moment and I really like doing landscapes.

someone commented on a picture of a train I posted - to the effect that it would be better with a nude girl,  and this brought home  that I really really don't think so!  in fact that would be cheapening  the pic  even if it was a really petty chick.

anyway,  who knows,  this may be a passing mood...
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
I recently realized I can't go on doing boring stuff for a living.  I also realised I really need to make a living.  
so I can do photography, bodypainting, massages, rope bondage, SQL.and database design and manipulation.  

any suggestion how to convert that lot into a couple of grand a week will be received with much love and appreciation!
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
A curate's egg of a year...!

  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
When you see what a rifle actually does, could you honestly display an NRA  sticker on your car?

Just a thought.
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
I just this moment commented on a picture of two nude girls with legs wide apart smoking different pipes (big fancy paraphernalia type)

The exact phrasing was
"but glamorizing smoking in any way with young people was outlawed for advertisers years ago... maybe that's a good rule to follow even for personal hobbyist pictures too- whatever additives or fancy pipes, it's still a pretty unhealthy activity. the only significant cause of heart disease in women under 40 and implicated in many cancers. I have personal family experience of the results, which can be pretty horrible. looks so harmless and yet can be devastating to lives down the line"

I thought it was a straightforward comment about smoking.  But I got an immediate reply
"that sort of comment well get you blocked" and being blocked.

It's as if some sensitive person feels  you're not allowed to mention smoking as a dangerous activity that kills?  someone really really sensitive about smoking?  Is it acceptable in 2012 to say in public that we shouldn't associate young healthy sexy people with the habit?
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
Sounds like an odd thing to say, but I was reading a quote from a farmer who pointed out that one field might contain 10 sheep that are killed for meat once a year, and often will be encouraged to have a mix of grass and herbs to improve the meat quality,  or it might contain a field of cereal crops where the harvester will kill or make homeless hundreds of small mammals, and also break up their nests leaving hundreds more baby mammals to be eaten by birds and other predators.

It's true that you don't get a crowd of hovering expectant birds following a herd of sheep, but when the harvester is out cutting its way across a field they are eagerly swooping around to see what morsels have been revealed or chopped in two  by the blades.

Interesting. Be moral and love animals!  Stop eating bread and pasta!
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
I just started watching an old Western.  Apache Territory.  White europeans riding through the desert being attacked by native tribespeople.  I remember being a kid and seeing this sort of story as a noble tale of white folks being tough but honourable pioneering through the Wild West to build a new land.

Now I see native peoples trying to defend their lands against invaders with superior technology and cultural arrogance.  The years sure do make a difference to the way you see the world.

  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
Yet again I see a psychologist girl (this time a graduate) is an art nude model.  It's come up over the years, and I still don't know why that should be the case!  Do psychologists feel adventurous about their naked body in an artistic way?  Do they start out of experimentation with how it feels and then carry on because they enjoy it or get paid for it?  Do their professors ask them to try nude modeling?

Ah well, next time I meet one I shall ask (again)...
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea

Throwing Paint at Girls

Journal Entry: Thu Sep 6, 2012, 9:17 AM
Went round to see Jez Prior yesterday with a couple of girls and photographed them being splashed with paint.

Well,  first we took pictures of Alice in Regents Park

Alice in the Park by cziiki   Alice in the Park II by cziiki

Then we went to a dark basement, closed all the doors and the girl became canvas

Mature Content

Jez and Alice by cziiki


Mature Content

Splashes By Jez 1 by cziiki
  

Mature Content

Amy Splashed 3 Hands by cziiki


This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Buddha Bar
  • Reading: The Primal
  • Watching: The sunset
  • Playing: Canadian Wizard
  • Eating: Omelette
  • Drinking: tea
Julian Assange of Wilikeaks, Alisha Smith the New York prosecutor of banks, Eliot Spitzer the new York Governor and prosecutor of banks, Dominique  Strauss-Kahn the head of the IMF and French Presidential candidate...   all targeted by the press and prosecutors after they displeased either the US state department or the big banks.   Now you read about Assange in particular, the actual bizarre accusation is never mentioned (he couldn't be even arrested for it in Britain) and the newspapers describe him almost as a rapist.   Once you get the State and the Banks and the press against you, you are royally shafted and destroyed.  Message:  Don't raise your head, don't kick against the reins, obey.   This is modern 'democracy'.   Democracy may mean freedom but it often doesn't.
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
First there was empty vacuum
Then there was a quantum foam

Something and nothing, everywhere

First there was Ether
Then there was no Ether
Now there's the Higgs field

Something and nothing, everywhere
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
I predict that in 5 years Facebook will be another memory and 12-year-old kids will have no idea what it means. There's precedent for this...

Once there was Compuserve, which died because AOL came along and people could actually use it.  Then AOL, the only easy way to use the Internet;  is gone, because it cost people money and everyone got free email from other people.  Then there was MySpace, looking a bit rough but let you express yourself and be in an online community;  a huge corporation bought it for billions - and a year later it was dying, and Facebook, free and looking a lot nicer and easier to use,  became dominant.  Nice, easy and free, and felt like a school project.

So now Facebook...?  Going corporate, selling peoples' lives, being incorporated into commercial products everywhere...   Every time I see a phone or computer that 'includes Facebook'  I sigh, get annoyed (at being shoehorned into a product via some assumption of monopoly) and know in my heart that Facebook will go the way of all its predecessors.  

Mark, take your money and run, right now!  Go sail yachts and eat hamburgers and stop trying to make our lives a commercial product.
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
I have 176 Llamas apparently.

I have no idea what that means.  I saw several llamas in South America, they are like deer with long necks, and Alpacas too, but what are they doing on an art portfolio site?

I searched and got a weird page saying nothing at all except that they are 'awesome'.  This tells me some Californian kids are involved.  But not a hint as to what they are.

Anyone able to say?
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
I wanted to express this when someone commented about a lack of comments on some picture.

Do you  somehow better express your appreciation of a visual work  by writing a comment, than simply by looking and appreciating and clicking 'favorite'?

The part of your brain that writes is analytical and manipulates linguistic symbols.  It 'thinks'.  It distracts from the deeper part of your brain that 'sees'.

You can't meditate by thinking.  You can't see a picture by thinking.  

Maybe it would be nice to NOT feel you have to start a flurry of thought-noise in your head, and then pour it out as words, but simply look, from a peaceful, non-thinking place?

Just a thought!
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
OK so 6 months ago  I read The Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson, went on to change my diet from vegetarian (with a little fish)  to mainly meat, fish, fruit and nuts and berries and cut out the grains, pasta, rice, starch, bread.  And started cooking for myself (or my little family) because I couldn't find grain-free food anywhere, even soups and yoghurts have flour in supermarkets.  Now I eat proper butter, full fat milk, lovely and varied joints of grass-fed meat and wild fish (which I had to learn to cook)

So I lost a stone in a couple of weeks and felt amazing.  The sensitive tickly twitchy spots in my stomach I had all my life (at least 50 years) became normal and not sensitive in 5 days.  I had more energy.  At one point I noticed I was running up stairs where  I would previously have used the elevator!  Since then I now have lost a total of 2.7 stones (17Kg) and lots of body fat and 2 inches waistband and a shirt size down.   Not hungry ever if I don't want to be, in fact I can go longer without eating, and I have delicious breakfasts and meals and snacks.  

Now I feel so totally conned by the food industry, my whole life I have been lied to about what is "healthy" - they said eat grass seed - rice, wheat, corn, millet, couscous, rye, semolina...  in pasta and bread and tortilla and in fact pretty much every food you can find... they said eat carbs and avoid fat, they said cholesterol from my food would get into my blood cholesterol, they said eggs were to be eaten in moderation, and animal fats were bad for me.  They said eat rice (preferably brown!) or bread or potatoes or pasta with meals.    They said beans were good for me.

Anyway I hear the Primal message is getting out...   Norway and some other Scandinavian/Baltic countries have had butter shortages because so many people  have  moved onto a Primal/Paleo diet and started eating good meat, full fat low carb diets with nuts and berries and fruit, and several people where I work have mentioned they do it when they want to lose weight - or all the time.

My main problem is my clothes are way too big for me and I need a whole new wardrobe!   Now I feel we've all been turned from lively muscular slim creatures to grass-grazing cows by the food industry, by the whole rise of monoculture agriculture.  I would love to see a day when those prairies of GM wheat stretching into the horizon sprayed and engineered to kill off all other life will be replaced by variety and color and  vibrancy - and maybe even people not machines on the land, interacting with nature and looking after the planet so we eat well and thrive and enjoy the planet in a community of life?



By the way, just saw this on google+   selling stuff like artwork on a new site calles gumroad"
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
Gosh, woke to messages that tell me I am now 59 years of age!   I never even imagined that when I was younger, and yet the news is, at 59 you're just a person, same as when you're 19, 29...  I may be slightly growing up now, I've noticed signs of adulthood and responsibility, but they are fleeting and may not come to much.  Yet 10-year-olds tell me that I am ancient (admittedly because I am over 30) and I do recall when I was 9 thinking that 16-year-olds were SO mature and grown-up.

So, experience is to be savoured, and ideologies seen for what they are.  I can understand why people jump on some belief system or other when they are young...  If you want  to do something in life you need to latch onto some sort of theory and use it as a working model - you don't have time to investigate the entire mystery of existence and also learn how to fry eggs and paint in acrylics and fine love and money to live, so you accept some mythology like neo-liberalism or religion and carry on.  But many years later there's not much excuse for accepting that sort of stuff blindly, and it's time to pass on something a little more considered to the next generation.

Anyway, 59 and not wise at all.  Hmm, I look forward to properly growing up.  Maybe next year?
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
Something very striking about the current "crisis" in the US and Europe.  It's real, in that people are losing jobs, there is no interest to pay savers, many nations are cutting their welfare and public services.  And yet it's completely unreal in that without money - if people had just carried on making things, using things, building homes, traveling, getting oil out of the ground, flying airplanes and running railways and growing food, then there would be no crisis whatsoever.  The crisis is in the means we have evolved to run our world, in loans and options and debt and lists of numbers and complex calculations on computers;  not what we actually do.  The crisis is in capital, not in 'real' resources.  If money could somehow disappear and everyone simply kept doing what they were doing then we would all carry on living perfectly happily, except of course for bankers and pensions providers!  Even accountants would still have an occupation, but it would be in seeking out opportunities for sharing and providing for each other.

The period of capital, the few thousand years when humanity has use of monetary tokens to provide infrastructure and motivation for our existence, has come to an extreme climax in the last century and really now has to come to an end fairly soon, to be replaced by simply sharing the resources of the world according to need and so we can enjoy our world and indulge our curiosity and flourish as a species.  If we could manage it, the mindset change would be a delightful improvement over a world driven by avarice and greed and stress.

When will it start to happen?
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea
... you know it's Elton John who feels he is honored



50 Words for Snow
  • Listening to: radiohead again
  • Reading: Ian Banks
  • Watching: tv
  • Playing: starburst
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: tea