I know that this is real late, but it was just recently that this suddenly started bothering me again and I want to get this out of my system once and for all.
In case you don't remember, on May 2016, I put up a certain thread in a certain forum, a decision which I will never live down for the rest of my life.
I've provided that thread right here so you can refresh your memory.forum.deviantart.com/community…
The following is the full truth. At the time, I just discovered that DeviantArt had forums. And when I noticed the complaints forum, my first thought was "Hmm, this must be where people can vent out their frustrations and dissatisfactions and whatnot. I might as well do it myself. What could possibly go wrong?", so I made a thread about how some good artists are lacking recognition but the obviously terrible ones like chasethehedgehog have 50 times more pageviews than they do, complaining (hence the forum name) about the lack of logic in this.
Big. Mistake. (Nah, 'big' doesn't begin to cover it)
I immediately found myself getting harshly criticized by about 20 people all at once, the most negativity I've ever received in my life. But the real stinger wasn't the negativity itself. It was that the negativity was all justified
. I guess I was far too blinded in pride to even ONCE think that my art wasn't as good as I thought it was that day, hence, I ended up arguing with those people, too firm on the false idea that these people were being nothing more than a bunch of assholes to me when I actually got it backwards. I thought I was a good artist getting attacked by many haters. Plot twist: The "haters" were actually good decent people proving me otherwise (not telling
me, there's a difference) and calling me out on me apparently being an egotistical retard.
It took no more than 2 seconds to violate the two most sacred rules of the complaints forum, which I learned the hard way: ALWAYS lurk first, and NEVER put up dead horse threads. So I guess I deserved all that if you look at it in a way.
Yes, I'm not afraid to admit it. 3 years later, I still haven't let go of this massive faux pas and moved on. Matter of fact, to this day, I acknowledge it as the single BIGGEST
mistake I EVER made the entire time I had a presence in DeviantArt since 2007. And every time I think about it I feel so guilty and embarrassed that I tell myself that I'm on this entire planet's blacklist and I deserve to be stabbed in the heart, in fact, I'm actually convinced that I'm the complaints forum's #1 most wanted and that thread is, to this day, still being used as a prime example of what happens when you don't lurk first. No joke. I really think that way. That's how guilty I really feel. I'm not holding back anything here.
I would never have posted that thread if I knew what it really was like in that forum. What I did was akin to walking into an open field only to suddenly get blown to bits because the open field actually turned out to be a minefield.
Just like you all told me, I should've lurked first and my ultimate fall was that I assumed; I was mislead by the forum name and context.
Perhaps you think I'm not being sincere enough, perhaps you're still convinced that I'm playing the victim again and that I believe this is everyone else's fault but mine. Think those all you want, absolutely no one can blame you, but I beared my soul writing all this and all I ask is that you realize that I genuinely feel guilty over that fatal error in judgment and forgive me. I owe all you people an apology. An apology bigger than Jupiter, that is. (Looking at reqionalatbest
, although his account is now deactivated)
I was originally going to post this in the complaints forum itself, but after some last minute lurking, I reconsidered in time and I'm glad I did. But if you'd like, I'll reconsider again and post this in the complaints forum as well. Because I'd like all the regs involved that day to see this.
The people I've tagged are the people who I'm especially trying to reach out and apologize to, because I believe these are the people whom I've significantly argued with and pissed off the most.