I'm going to cut to the chase and just go straight into it.
A couple of weeks ago I finish my first proper sketchbook which is super exiting. As I said in one of my previous journals I'm not really good with drawing regularly and Inktober was like the weirdest experience for me. Right now I'm not working on a fancier looking sketchbook like my previous one was but instead I'm solely focusing on transferring ideas onto paper without the importance of how it looks. So yeah I'm sort of having a general hiatus rn.
When it comes to digital art I haven't been doing much but its super fun! I thought that it would be hard to get used to but I got used to it in a matter of minutes, I still am trying to grasp the theory behind digital art and all that though. Sketching with a tablet is a little tough so for the most part I've been scanning doodles from my sketchbook and the fucking around with them digitally.
Also a very exciting thing, I'm a part of a film club in our school and were planing on making a bunch of short films which is super cool! We do suck ass but I've always dreamed of working on short films and stuff like that ever since I was like 9!!!!!! I highly doubt well make something presentable but nevertheless its just so much fun. Tbh that's about it there's not much to say when it comes to art, I thought I'd have a lot more to say lol.
For a general life update that might not be that interesting is that I'm not doing so well. I've been on and off with depression for the past month or so and it sucks. I don't drink medication anymore so I don't have anything to rely on and I really don't want to get extremely depressed again. I don't really know why I'm so depressed because currently I have a decent relationship with my family and I do have, for the most part, decent grades. If I had to guess it blame it on myself, I have been attending a lot of extracurricular things after school and I voluntarily singed myself up to the more advanced history group, which is not bad but I've never really been used to having such a packed schedule.
One more thing that could have been affecting my metal health is the fact that I'm in a new class and to be 100% honest most people don't like me there (or just have a way too neutral relationship towards me). Yes I have made a bunch of friends but like the rest of the class just avoids me? I never really gave a fuck about what other thought of me but like I WANT TO BE THEIR FRIEND OR AT LEAST BE ABLE TO SAY HI TO THEM WITHOUT BEING GLARED AT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I try really hard to be nice to them and I constantly offer them my food but is that not enough??? Like I have never been in this situation before and I haven't been forced to make friends with new people since like the last time I transferred school (3rd grade). I get that it takes time to make friends but Its really hard to talk to people and introduce yourself when no one gives a fuck!?!?! ALSO LIKE I HAVE A FRIENDSHIP CRUSH AND A REALLY WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THIS PERSON BUT ITS MOVING AT AN EXTREMELY SLOW PACE FOR ME TO ENJOY IT ARGHHHH.
I think thats it... I'll probs write a couple more journals because I do have a lot more to say but I don't want to pack it all into one.
Listening to: my computer overheating