What did I miss? Here's a journal entry from while I was away:
Jul 5, 2018, 6:45:12 PM
There are flies on the doorframe crawling inside. A lot of them. One of them stark black, wings translucent against the bathroom sink. Can you see me? What do I look like? I just don't know anymore. I can't reconcile what I see with what I feel to be me. It's almost like a pulsing sensation sometimes - I go from feeling withered and brittle to immense and denser than a diamond and back within seconds. What provoked this disunion between sight and self? Pictures are of no help. The tags on clothing only confound me. Surrounding objects don't seem quite right, either. I know that when I read this back, it will not sound like my voice.
Maybe I’ve unconsciously placed myself in a purgatory of perception to protect myself. There is no time to self destruct when
- there is no way that melon fits in that bag
- a sphere has at least 8 sides
- structures move around around me and I am still.
Existing in this discord, everything is distorted.
GOD, it feels good to be back.