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Criminal Spike

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By CSImadmax   |   
© 2011 - 2020 CSImadmax
the elder scrolls always makes me angry, those imperial guards always knows when I'm doing something bad, what the hell!?
you can't steal, trespass properties, burn villages or be nude in public, what is wrong with this game? is like a grand heft auto but with horses!

...also someone knows of a pony mod for oblivion?
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anonymous's avatar
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SwiftgaiatheBrony's avatar
I'm a member of the Imperial legion but I'm dahm well sure your not!
YukiNitta's avatar
YukiNittaHobbyist Digital Artist
Pay fine
Go to jail
>Resist arrest
dbzgirl9's avatar
dbzgirl9Student General Artist
XD i love the guards
LilllyEevee's avatar
LilllyEeveeHobbyist Artist
Undeadkingofdarkness's avatar
Use your one pick break out of the dungeon destroy everything that is usually how it works but then again I barely even go to jail in those games as I am an evil jester with a knife and guards apparently can't fight that
MLPegasis4898's avatar
MLPegasis4898Hobbyist Digital Artist
ToastingCinnamon's avatar
ToastingCinnamonHobbyist General Artist
... wow xD

It isnt like that for me. I can walk around nude and people are like you might want to put something one seriously anything. and the gauirds are the same. I can trespass, if I'm sneaky. I have it on PS3 so it might be different depending on what you use. I think there is a computer game one too.
PokeyFluffytail's avatar
Those Imperial guards are the best police force in the universe! XD
Spartan545's avatar
Spartan545Student General Artist
But the Assassin Brotherhood is better. Requescat In Pace, Rogue Guards (Imperial Guards)
PokeyFluffytail's avatar
To you yeah, but the imperial guards are so good, they can appear anywhere, at any time. :3
Spartan545's avatar
Spartan545Student General Artist
Imperial Guard: Stop right there!

Ezio: What is it you want?

Imperial Guard: You are under arrest.

Ezio: I highly doubt it. *signals an Assassin Recruit and kills Imperial Guard*

Recruit: Safety in Peace, Mentor.

Ezio: To you as well.

Imperial Guards: There they are!

Ezio: Time to disappear, you should do the same.

Recruit: Of course, Mentor.
PokeyFluffytail's avatar
What? Ezio couldn't kill them himself? He had to get someone else to do it?

I thought he was a master assassin. xD
Spartan545's avatar
Spartan545Student General Artist
Even a Master Assassin knows when its time to disappear. The Guards might post wanted posters, but he would tear them down. But if he has to assassinate a target, guarded by guards and if it becomes too much, he calls on some of his assassin recruits for Arrow Storm.

He built this Brotherhood to last, and a mentor can't take all of the glory. You don't believe me, play Brotherhood and Revelations.
PokeyFluffytail's avatar
I choose not to, cause I find those games incredibly boring.

Also, I have a feeling you like that game a little too much.
Spartan545's avatar
Spartan545Student General Artist
Whats this....Spike is evolving!!! Spike is consumed by an orb of magical energy and reappears as a dragon the size of a Stallion with wings and Zig-Zag horns and a green spaded tail. Congratulations, Spike the Dragon has evolved into Equestria's Purple Dragon.

Guard: You are still coming with me, Criminal...*gets punched by a Dragonfly*

Sparx: Sheesh, buddy, don't you ever stop saying that? This is a Democracy, not an Empire.

Spike: Nice timing, Sparx.

Sparx: Lets get you outta here.

Spike: But first we have to fight through a horde of pissed off Rogue Guards. *the name I picked for the Imperial Guards*

Sparx: I managed to buy an Assassin Robe and a Hidden Blade at Carosuel Boutique. Rarity herself never wanted to send you to jail.

Spike: *dons robe and wears the Hidden Blade* Nothing is True, *Wears hood* Everything is permitted.
Falconwick's avatar
Falconwick General Artist
My gosh, that is awesome.
Spartan545's avatar
Spartan545Student General Artist
I just hate the Imperial Guards so much and I love Assassin's Creed so much.
Falconwick's avatar
Falconwick General Artist
Only AC I've played is Brotherhood. I'm over powered, so the weaker guards run away from me when I kill one of them.
Spartan545's avatar
Spartan545Student General Artist
Rogue Guard: Jailbreak! Jailbreak! *gets killed by a throwing knife*

Spike: Never had a doubt.

Rogue Guards: Stop right there...*gets killed by Spike's hidden blades*

(Spike gets surrounded)

Rogue Guard Commander: You think you could get away from us that easily.....Criminal Scum?

Spike: *makes an Eagle Sound and all guards were killed by an Arrow Storm, except for the Commander* You were saying?

Rogue Guard Commander: I have my reinforcements. *Reinforcements arrive*

Spike: Ahem. *Mane-6 Assassins surround him*

All Assassins: Gentlecolts?

Spike: Incoming! *Assassins charge*

Rogue Guard Commander: Charge! *Rogue Guards charge*
Falconwick's avatar
Falconwick General Artist
xD That is hilarious, and awesome.
Spartan545's avatar
Spartan545Student General Artist
Rogue Guard Commander: Kill the Assassins!! *runs*

Twilight: The Commander's getting away! Assassinate him before he reaches Princess Luna.

Spike: *runs off to catch him just when the Commander was about to strike Princess Luna, but Spike killed him* Your schemes have ended.

Rogue Guard Commander: This is not how this would end. We were to replace the Royal Guard.

Spike: For what? You treat ponies like they are scum all their life, you order your soldiers to attack or arrest innocents, you try to sack towns and attempt to murder Princess Luna.

Rogue Guard Commander: Don't think that I don't know of you...Prince Spike. I wanted to murder Luna to get to our ultimate goal..

Spike: Mom?

Rogue Guard Commander: We planned to murder Luna and Celestia, so we could place the true heir on the throne.

Spike: Who is your master?

Rogue Guard Commander: You already know him as the stallion that broke your mate's heart. *dies*

Spike: Your words might seem dark and shallow, but on the inside you were just a pony talking to yourself. Reqiuescat In Pace.
Bluestar3445's avatar
Bluestar3445Hobbyist General Artist
Lol more Elder scrolls references please.
anonymous's avatar
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