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Happy Birthday. I'm 21 now.

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 18, 2009, 2:34 PM
So.... my birthday was on the 6th. I'm now 21.

Just to let everyone know I'm in the middle of moving so in this hectic hiatus If I forget something send me an email and I will honest to goodness try to get back to you within a week of it being sent. I'm really sorry. The move was kinda unexpected.

With the move though comes this- I loose my job.

How fun :3 I'm actually happy even though I'm starting to worry about money. I just hope everyone likes drawings and paintings because I don't think there is going to be a whole lot of..... money to spend on gifts for Christmas..... *sighs*

I miss my subscription....

Oh I has boyfriend! His name is Clayton and I simply worship the ground he walks on. I think that the happy euphoria that he puts me into simply by telling me good morning in a TXT is the only reason that I've not actually lost my mind through this whole thing!
<3

so yeah.... happy birthday tori. woohoo.

  • Listening to: Shakira - She Wolf
  • Eating: Ramen
  • Drinking: Spiced Cider &lt;3

Update On Mom- Stanford Hospital

Journal Entry: Mon Jul 27, 2009, 9:49 PM
So I've got an update for you all on me mum. :) She is still fighting but as we all know the saying "when it rains- it pours" it's kinda pouring bad news on her over and over. The good thing is that we caught the cancer RIGHT as it was starting. Her radiation treatments are going ok, I'm not sure how she's actually doing but so far..... well she seems ok. The other good thing is that BECAUSE of the breast cancer they found the problem with her heart. Of course none of this is actually good and we would much rather that it was not happening at all, but alas it is and yes there is more to come. The heart doctor that she went to told her that only a 2% actually survived when an injury to the heart line actually happened. (apparently she got it in the motorcycle accident when she was 19 and they missed it when she was in surgery for everything else. It's really rare that people live when it's missed at the time of occurance, it's even more rare that they live for SO long.) Anyhow the injury has a calcification that is going inwards. They think that it makes her at a high risk to a heart attack or clot or something nasty.  She admitted to me that she was scared of the procedure that they were going to do to see WHERE this thing actually was. In last bit of august or whenever she finishes her radiation (as she does NOT want to do it while she is still doing radiation) she is to go to Stanford to have them put in a stint.

I know I don't remember all the details but let me put it this way- this shit sucks.

Anyhow if you guys are still interested EVERYTHING is still for sale from the last journal. I'm still taking commissions- and I should be done with some of them soon. Sorry that it's taking so long for those of you who have them coming I've not been home lately. Since Cory and I broke up I keep getting asked out and then stood up and then I get to be sitting by myself for many many hours while I wait for someone to pick me up. Of course this means I've gotten a great deal of sketching and whatnot out for the commissions in fact I've been working with some color patterns and whatnot that have made me want to restart some of the commissions I wasn't really happy with. ...... I guess I'm kinda fighting depression from the fact that no one wants to ever show up when it comes to asking me out though......... as well as the fact that I'm dead tired from work nowadays. But no worries- I'll be sending out preview images soon to prove that I am working on the things very soon.

kisses and hugs to everyone! I'll be around and doing the artsy thigns again before we all know it!
~~
Tori

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS- (OPEN -URGENT-!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
These are strictly now to help support my mother who was recently diagnosed with cancer, my father who is having trouble working because he needs surgery on his knee, and me- who needs surgery on her foot. We appreciate everything that you all have done for us. Mom is starting her radiation treatments soon. Her cancer is highly aggressive though and spreading quickly. We are ding everything but we ask for your help!
Thank you. ^^ I really love you all you have helped us so far SO much.


Commission details-
Pencil/or ballpoint pen sketch of one person- $5 (for every extra person in the picture it's another $5)EXAMPLE- Commission-inkara1 by Crystori

Inked online picture- $15 ($10 extra per person)

CG Picture w/out BG- $30 ($15 extra per person)
CG w/BG- $60-100 (max three extra people additional $25per person)

I ALSO SEW AND MAKE PROPS FOR COSPLAY! NOTE ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED! (I will probably have a bounty of collars, cat ears, and random other stuff so if you can't make it to fanime feel free to ask about something. I'll post pictures after the con for what is left over.)

R.I.P. Hakubaikou

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 16, 2009, 10:18 PM
When I first read it I could not believe it. It's weird to think I will never see any of her art again.hakubaikou.deviantart.com/jour…
Hakubaikou was one of the first people that I started watching here on DA. I found her through a kenshin fanart contest. After seeing her submition I was blown away and knew that I couldn't compete with the way my art was. She inspired me in so many ways and as she was one of the artist I admired and respected to hear of her passing it was.... a blow. I have always dreamed to be able to one day commission all of my favorite artist one day in the future. Have a wall dedicated to the people I grew up admiring. I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to be like them. But now as time passes they disappear, they die, and some of them even lose interest in art.

Hakubaiku, I will miss you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS- (CLOSED. sorry guys, I can't handle the stress from everything going on. It doesn't matter anyhow, stuck at a dead end job and never gonna go back to school it doesn't matter.)

Commission details-
Pencil/or ballpoint pen sketch of one person- $5 (for every extra person in the picture it's another $5)EXAMPLE- Commission-inkara1 by Crystori

Inked online picture- $15 ($10 extra per person)

CG Picture w/out BG- $30 ($15 extra per person)
CG w/BG- $60-100 (max three extra people additional $25per person)

FEATURED PEOPLE

Journal Entry: Wed Jan 21, 2009, 7:16 PM
:icon021:
still hooked on cellophane by 021 desire for all that is lost by 021 seven minutes in heaven by 021
021 has a unique perspective with most of her art, there is more than the usual flat stance in her gallery.
:icono-kei:
OMG I'M UPDATING - Streetwise by O-Kei Hand Sketches: Ramen by O-Kei The OCs parade by O-Kei
O-Kei has a wonderful veriety of OCs and a diverse style of what subject she draws. I think that in the future her art will go far. ^^ and I will have been proud to watch her art grow to that point.
:icondemondoodles:
:thumb88811854::thumb18740992::thumb11629663:
I've watched Demondoodles for years. XD I remember when she first tried to start her comic- the process was very stop and go. Demon has a sense of humor that leaves many a peep in need of changing their underwear after the joke. .....Did I mention yet that she draws sexy menz and AWESOME centaurs? yeah, yeah, I bet you wanna watch her now.
:iconfaeriekitty:
:thumb58107181::thumb13427898::thumb76530471:
I've watched faeriekitty for a long time.....actually I'm pretty sure I used to watch her back when she had an icon matching her name.....I think. Anyhow- give her love. :3
:iconlinogenl:
:thumb100984352::thumb101066928::thumb105219088:
Linogenl has some of the greatest and most professional photography on this site. no nude girls/boys/shaved dogs- and his subject matter is always interesting and usually shiny. Alas he took down most of his gallery some time back so my favorites (the cello pictures) no longer exist. :(
:iconinstantoatmeal13:
:thumb93382247::thumb91188842::thumb105168456:
I should not have to say anything. Her art speaks for her. She's just that awesome.
:iconlove-shocker:
:thumb99812097::thumb80100574::thumb52863008:
I found love-shocker recently and although her art is kinda disturbing at times it's also very pretty.
:iconittybittybits:
:thumb106380424::thumb86511761::thumb108339257:
Aside from her awesome art ittybittybits is also a photographer. :3 I've actually gotten to sit beside her while she was drawing and XD she's much better than she thinks. <3
:iconstarrywhitewall:
S M O O T H - - Uruha by starrywhitewall And the Kit Goes Meow by starrywhitewall SS Pumpkin Witchboy fr shizero by starrywhitewall
Charming lovely stuff. Well set style and improving every picture.
:iconsaehral:
Undertow poster by Saehral Shiney happy boy by Saehral World of Warcraft by Saehral
Saehral was actually the person who introduced me to comics. I was looking around for mafia pictures when I found the comic "Dork Mafia" I was instantly obsessed and hooked. I even went and made my own "professional dork mafia member" card and ran around in a suit and fedora. I love and adore her comic and actually have a cosplay of my favorite character (twaki) from her comic "undertow" :heart: worship her. 'cause you know you want to.
:iconmissmatzenbatzen:
Ninjas new and improved by MissMatzenbatzen fashion girl by MissMatzenbatzen sexy back by MissMatzenbatzen
I Adore MissMatzenbatzen's unique vector style and curvy gals. Her art is a Sharp and sexy Par-TAY.
:iconzurui-chan:
:thumb79471595::thumb104272834::thumb75479666:
Zurui-chan has improved quite a bit in her art which is fantastic not only for the anime side, but her realistic pictures are amazing as well!

My birthday is on the 6th. Only three days away.
hmmmm....

Does anyone know of a website builder that is free or something? My old GoLive and Dreamweaver seem to not be working anymore and I'm trying to build my site.
  • Listening to: Pretty Rave Girl
  • Drinking: Hot Apple Cider
EDIT- so the kitten is home now. covered in fleas of course. I'm thinking Female so Lucious may not be the name she comes to.

~~~

So today I wake up to a phone call with my mom shouting "oh my god he's such a cuddle-butt!" Because she's at work I'm wondering what the hell she's talking about, but I had a slight inkling in the back of my mind because my mom's work is almost FAMOUS for how many animals are abandoned there.
Most of them have been brought home to find another home and a few have stayed and lived out their very fat and happy lives.
WELL..... THIS img.photobucket.com/albums/v60… dropped off in front of my moms work. Covered in dirt (literally the sink was black after washing him and we are STILL rubbing him over with napkins to get the dirt off. And yes, they are still coming away almost black with dirt.)

He clings to my mom's lap and purs like a friggin maniac. I'm determined to keep him for myself but mum wants to see if he'll go to my grandma. (actually it's not a bad idea.... but still... he's SO cute.)  Should I keep him I think I'll name him Lucious. I was thinking Sirius but that's the DOG star.....then again I do have a cat named mouse so why not.

What names would you guys suggest for this cute little fluff of fur? He's super friendly and just damn near the most adorable thing on this planet at the moment.
  • Listening to: Pretty Rave Girl
  • Eating: Bananas
  • Drinking: Hot Tea
Alright wel I'm actually about to head into my third interview at walmart (how sad XD) I had the other 2 on friday. They are interviewing me for the cosmetics dept.

hope that I get it?
I'll update when I get home. :)

[[EDIT]]
X3 YAAAAAAATTAAA! (sp? lol) well pretty much I'm just went in and they did this maneuver - "hey! shake hands with this nice lady and then this lady here is the lady who will be your boss now kinda (she's pregnate but we aren't posed to know but she needs the extra help now) go over and pee in a cup and well call you next Monday for orientation KTHNXBAI!"

.....it was awesome. *so very happy* so yeah Tori has a job! ......a sucky job for way less money than wanted but....I shall suffer.... *puppy eyes* for the good of mankind.
~~
Tori
  • Listening to: All Star Lounge Grooves- sophisticated grooves
  • Drinking: ice tea
OK I was too tired to be able to write it up last night. Seriously I was totally bushed. NOT because of the drive and all (though it was tiring) but because we were still tired from the day before and yesterday was.....a really long day with no rest.

Well we got up at 8:30 and left around 9. I had just grabbed whatever was available clothes wise and hopped into the car, completely forgetting my contacts and some....undergarments.  Needless to say I was not really awake enough to really care or do much at the first three shops that we hit. (These were  the ones that we skipped yesterday because they were really close to home. XD I'm glad that mom didn't force me to go to church though, the day would have had no possibility of getting better after that. And don't get me wrong, I'm usually ok with church I just HATE being FORCED to go.)

Sera was of course a right evil little twat the entire time, and sadly enough they were passing out candy at one place. *sighs* she ate all three things and bounced off the walls for the rest of the day. Speaking of the rest of the day I shall tell more! We worked out way up to the place that mum had won the basket at and we picked up her basket. It was a really lovely huge basket filled with quilting books, patterns, and lots of fabric..... along with a few other nicknacks to make it cute and decorative. (There were a few toys and a radome screwdriver.)

Well we sorta meandered from shop to shop entering sundays gift basket drawings and actually shopping this time. (I got a geisha panel and some pattern ideas for my OWN quilt. I really didn't expect to want to make a quilt but I found a really amazing design and I think it'll make a nice side project and not be NEARLY as stressful as trying to make a dress from scratch or something, plus... I like bedcovers way too much.-though I heard that some quilting ladies would die if they heard that a quilt went on a BED *laughs* yeah apparently you hang them up like art. I laughed my ass off.)

Well we were sorta doing the wandering thins when all of a sudden a lady mentioned to my mom that "the treasure hut" was really worth it. SO we drove the three hours down to it and turned in our tickets and poked looked around. Honestly while leaving we both agreed that there was nothing there that was not at any of the other stores. We started the long drive home....on the way we noticed that it was almost 5 and that the drawings for the baskets for that day were being made. 30 minutes later no call so I just forgot about it and started a conversation on Persian cats.(or something) *laughs* well at that minute the phone rings and who is it for....? ME. Yes.....yes, I won a basket from The cotton ball! (this made the second trip SO worth it cause earlier that day I had been admiring the bag and I didn't know that it was the prize until while we were leaving the lady was doing the "and if you enter into our contest you could win this bag here" pitch.) we couldn't pick it up cause the store was closed already so they are shipping it to me :)  this made my tired almost gloomy mind start to perk. Well my mom said that in a thank you we could go to my favorite restaurant that I used to LOVE going to on special occasions and I could get the calamari and clam chowder bowl. So to Steamers Restaurant we went! (yes, admittedly the day was listed as "damn good!" in my book after that.)

Well we stopped at wal-mart for things like cat and dog food on the way home and FINALLY I was able to get some conditioner so my hair is behaving nicely.  I have to admit, being able to sleep in and relax after all that feels REALLY nice.

*ninja* While I was there my mom like RAN up to me and said "go over to dog food there is a hottie" so I laugh and wander over there to humor her and behold I spot.....a sex god. lol well not really but this guy had black hair down to his ass and a nice laugh and a nice looking face. I made the excuse for my being over there was that I wanted to get some treats for one of my cats who is looking on the thin side (to encourage her to eat) and we talked for about ten minutes. *sighs* I really wish I lived in town cause that would have been an awesome opportunity to make a friend but alas.....I have no real reason to go into town. Anyhow he convinced me to buy this one treat and only after I left did it strike me that I left my darned purse in the freaking car. *shrugs* oh well, Dorja will just have to get Tuna juice and other treats for now. that said I will keep the slight hope in the back of my mind that he's single or that I'll have time on my hands to make friends. lol neither are likely....but I can dream right?

~~
Tori
  • Listening to: Urbz Music
AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGH SO TIRED.

Ok so it was really random (which is totally the best way) but a friend told my mom about a little quilting shop in Paso (nearby town) well I agreed to go check it out with my mom because I love the patterned fabrics that you can find at these little places they usually have great textured things that work really well for making an interesting cosplay and other outfits.  

Well we go and we wander around and poke at fabrics and my little sister goes and starts diggin around in the button basket so we're all having a lovely time (nur I'm a complete dork when it comes to fabric. I LOVE fabric shopping, fuck shoe shopping or whatever.) Well, I find some material that would go GREAT on the quilt that my mom is making for me (I'm a pretty sad case when it comes to sewing quilts sadly enough. But I do want to experiment a little with quilting designs into dresses and arm-warmers. I've drawn out some designs and I think it's a definite possibility. ) Anyhow we get to chatting with some of the ladies there and we find out that this weekend there was a Quilting tour. So.......of course we go....I mean.... why NOT? (That's not rhetorical. I have a perfect answer it's called being broke....but that's never really stopped me lol.)

SO today we got up and grabbed some clothes and headed out the door to join in the second day of the quilt tour. Each shop you get a free quilt pattern and a chance to win in the daily drawing thing for baskets FILLED with sewing goodies.  First few shops were fun, one of them had a "quilting" machine that was $3,2000 something huge and SO easy to use. Honestly I was actually impressed because you could use it for SO many other things too! (My mom is now dead set on saving up and getting it, I have no objections and might even try to toss some money in to help getting it. That machine is AMAZING.)  Another shop I found a book of ideas that I plan on getting- "Material World" by Cat Wei. That place was also the shop where this wonderful lady did a demonstration on making these silk flowers that are just gorgeous.

Well we actually skipped the first three shops because we knew we could hit them tomorrow :) I'm looking forwards to visiting them since they ARE the closer ones.

My general favorite that we hit was called Betty's Fabrics and it was the third place that we hit.(6th on the map actually) I was more of an all sewing stuffs store so I was WAY more happy. I was wandering by the wall of fabrics and I started getting depressed 'cause I didn't have any money to really spend and I found this really wonderful set of fabrics that would make a beautiful dress. Actually I found several different fabrics for several different dress ideas. (I sketched out how I would make them too when I got home. *sweat* it's a lot of pleating in one -and I do mean a LOT- but I think it would be worth it. I plan on seeing if I can grab a swatch of each when I slip by there tomorrow.) and I was ogling a pattern of a quilted butterfly wall hanging, about the only time that I actually went to my mom and gave her puppy eyes for it. ....I got the pat on the head and "maybe next time answer. *so sad* I would have loved making those for my room/trailer it would have really spiced up the place and I would have been able to use the extra fabrics from the quilt in it. *Sighs*

Well the last few shops after that were really stamp and dash because we were running out of time and the last place was like....past Santa Barbra :( we actually still didn't make it there so I think that tomorrow we are going back to catch that last one so we could enter into the grand prize drawing ($300 worth of fabric, or a sewing machine, or a limo ride thing along the coast....personally I'm only wanting the first two. )On the way home mom answered her phone and apparently she won the basket of one of the shops that we went to. I have to admit....I was a little sad, I'd been really hoping to win something because I knew I couldn't buy anything but I've always had bad luck in these things so I don't think it's possible. Lol I'm always that ticket that stuck to the other one but they dropped back in. Always the "almost" but never the winner. *Sighs* yeah I have to admit today was ok, I REALLY wish my little sister wouldn't come. I'm fairly sure I would have been feeling much better the whole damn day if that brat hadn't been around. I mean she STEALS things out of the store and *tugs at her hair* mom LETS her be a terror. I mean I HATE children like that.  And yes for all those who don't already know I despise my little sister. I mean I have to love her because she's family but I despise the way she acts in public, I wish my mom could see the looks people give her and understand WHY, I mean she gets all pissy about other children behaving badly or someone being rude to her but she will do it to people and just be ever so flippant and think she's doing nothing wrong. HATE it when she does that.

Overall...today was ok. Tomorrow we have.....four more shops (I think so anyhow) that are left on the tour but we are going to try and enter in the basket drawings for each shop too on our way back home.

~~
Tori
  • Listening to: Scott Williams
  • Drinking: tea
  • Listening to: Kate Nash
  • Drinking: Water
Ok I figure I should update on how things are going for those of you reading these things.
about four days before Fanime I actually started kicking my ass into gear with art and stuff(I was like....seriously upset with myself for not doing it sooner)I slacked a little during the evening to hang out with friends (I'm such a hard ass, I don't usually hang with friends to be honest so this was really out of the ordinary but really needed and enjoyed.) Needless to say I didn't sleep the entire time (yes four days straight of no sleep and all coffee diet.) Well The night to pack for Fanime came and I rushed around like a maniac. like you've all seen the Rhode picture was still a work in progress so I sacrificed some of the things I was going to bring and drop at my parents place for storage so that we could take rEi's computer so the picture could be finished. ...........the picture (need I say it) has yet to be worked on :(

Well The drive down there was HELL. Mainly because the friend driving got mad at the friend in the passenger seat and spent her entire time driving speeding like a bat out of hell down curvy roads. needless to say anyone who knows me know's I'm horribly sensitive about going fast in cars. simply put I'm bloody terrified. so add on four days of no sleep and far to much coffee and I spent the entire ride down the Bradley having panic attacks. (YAY!) Well from there we kidnaped Laina (really last minute but she needed it and I lurvs her)
and I drove to San Jose no problems. SO

DAY 1-
I drove wiout any problems (NONE *so happy*) except a minor heart attack when I had a flat head come speeding up behind me at 80 when I was going 65 (flat head is a semi truck without a trailer, they CAN'T stop because they will flip forwards. to have one come bearing down on your ass in a single lane is..... ....very......very....scary) well we got there and I was a panicky little twit the whole time. (we got there SUPER EARLY) so everyone (but me) had time for a nap. I took a walk and got something to eat then went and grabbed everything and headed to artist alley.

Setting up was fun to be honest, I'd been looking forwards to how I was going to present my table this yeah and I have to say it WAS way better than last year and we did get way more buys but certainly not enough to take the hurt off. (we didn't pass $100 :( I still have lots of prints left over) I got a lot of commissions for naked men actually ....to be honest a lot of yaoi (pffft I can't complain, I'm not really a yaoi fangirl but I REALLY do enjoy drawing males......specially naked ones.....) I can't remember how the first day really went. I was like.....SUPER exhausted. We ended up closing early at around 7 and I went to sleep (yes at 7pm)and honestly didn't wake up till around 9 am.

...ALL THE OTHER DAYS-

oh to be honest I can't remember much of the con so I'll just give a brief highlight of what I DO remember.

Once I woke up I grabbed radome things for my outfit and  piled all my artist crap into a blanket and ran down to artist alley (like three minutes before we opened, I was barely set up in time.) And I met the lovely :iconittybittybits: and some others who were working the table next to me :( I didn't get names and contact info unfortunetly for the others which makes me sad but maybe I'll be able to get all that stuff next year. Heather was a real doll, we joked and stuff saturday and Sunday while she was there. I LOVED talking with her. I'm kinda hoping distantly that we get tables next to each other next year as well because I remember fanime 2007 and how lonely it was when no one would talk to you and you get so bored and stuff.

I sold a few pictures and I gave stuff away (oh god I'm so bad with that, I saw a nana cosplayer and I gave away one of the keychains and I know I gave away something else and that's not counting all the gift arts that I made to give away to people. (T.T I didn't get the gifts to everyone who I told had one I got so busy after this that things were insane.)


oh to be honest I can't remember much of the con so I'll just give a brief highlight of what I DO remember.

I walked around a little when I got a bathroom break and I got a picture from the lovely Grace AKA :iconfongmingyun: who was a delight and a pleasure to meet.

At one time I remember Black Gai coming by our table and this AWESOME photoshoot started up between him and a female lee where they were crying and laughing and stuff. I was laughing my ass off and fell of my chair a few times. I really wish I could have gotten a few pictures of it (oh god if anyone has pictures from that I DESPERATELY would love it if you sent me them that was a memory I will NEVER forget.) I do believe I've seen him at previous fanimes but I'm not sure. I've done a little diggin and I've learned that his name is Chris (is this right? anyone know him?) I also learned later that Sunday night when I was wondering the halls it was HIM (OMFG) that took my picture while I was in my finalized catgirl outfit. (if anyone knows how to get a hold of him I would love you forever because I'd really like to see how the picture came out......) he was really fun anyhow and I think he's going to be on my list of people receiving "you're my inspiration" gifts.

OMG I didn't see them but I learned that the www.Firefly-path.com gang was there! (omg I actually cried when I found out that they were there and I didn't get to see them. I've been a fan of them for almost as long as I’ve been a fan of Li -pikminlink-)

At one point in time I think a lovely girl who claimed to be :iconfirekitty: dropped by my table. XD I was so horribly confused but I must say I was truly happy to meet you!

Dear :iconbopx: dropped by my table on Saturday I think. literally scared the snot right out of me because I was a little zoned and all of a sudden three girls are standing in front of me. YOUR COSPLAY WAS AWESOME. XD she tried to insist to pay for her gift but I honestly wouldn’t hear it so she bought the ordon link print to go with her cosplay.

I just about fainted when I was caught by :iconbehindinfinity: at my table for her gifty. the presence of her awesomeness was just too much. ...then again I gave her HER gift and I freaked when I thought she all of a sudden told me to grab her ass. (yeah my mind was not working properly the whole con and that was a wierd moment I wonder a little at what she thought when I hopped back and went "wai what? WHY?" ) She was actually telling me to reach into her back pocket and grab a keychain. *hugs cheychain* I actually wear it everywhere even though I haven't really been a big Naruto fan after I hit like...100 something and it was all wierd wacky  wackiness. ......all that aside I :heart: Lee and Gai sensei. (nother reason why I was like...super fangirling and stuff when that photoshoot happened.) Anyhow It was really amazing meeting you, I was really blown away because usualy people don't drop by my table when I say I have something for them.

I caught :iconlikovacs: on late monday. I had been napping waiting for my ride when all of a sudden there were angels singing and a fucking spotlight and I justabout threw myself over the edge of the second story thing trying to tell her to wait and that I had somehting for her. (when she favorited it I had kittens. serisouly I couldn't be happier. I know, yeah, the amount that I adore her is a little scary but I've been admiring her for so many years.... not to mention I met her and hung out purely by accident fanime 2007. yes, I was QUITE happy XD She and her brother Robert were so very nice to put up with me. I was going through some rought things with my grandma and stuff and I honestly was not at my best. ) Anyhow once again I say - I adore you dear Li and I'm fairly sure that I always will. ( ARRRRH bizich! you get to go to the school I wanted to go to for so many years. lol :D ahahah but seriously I hope that I can transfer in time that maybe we'll go to school together. probably not but to go to school with one of my insperations would be like.....really....really awesome. personally I know that I never will get into the artschool I dreamed up since I was a little kid. I'll probably end up settling for somethign cheap. :) but I'll let that one little hope lay in the back of my mind until she graduates. )

Oh yeah I ran by :iconreapersun:'s table and I oggled her wonderful keychains once again. Dear Laina ended up buying the Howl one for me I've been dragging it around with me as well. *lufs on*  on monday when I had a little bit of extra monies I was told to spend on myself I stood at her table chewing my nails for like....twently minutes but I REALLY couldn't decide what else I would get so I ended up not. BUT I'm still adoring my loverly Howl.

uh...oh yeah I saw My old friend Jackal (I call him puppy because of the first time I met him. in Fanime ....2005? 2004? whichever
we met at my first Fanime and our THRID Fanime we got back in contact, he's awesome and still the really fun guy I remember hanging out with, it was funny, I guess we don't talk a lot and I really with we could hang out more but when we met up at Fanime this year he has a loverly girlfirend of one year and a little more so congrats to him I really hope that things go well. (eeeeh I have to admit it sort of made me go "oh oh ow, *hold chest and huddle in a corner* that's about when rEi and I broke up," yes even though most of the time I feel perfectly fine about it.... sometimes something will kinda rub salt into the open wound that I didn't know I had, *sighs* I really gave my whole heart away just to find out that I was honeslty the only one doing the loving.-gotta admit having him tell me that he never loved me and that I'm no good and no one will ever love me was.....kinda not the best feeling in the world.)

I'm probably missing a few people but I just want to shout out that I totally love yall and stuff and I'm doing ok right now. I'm still kinda struggling to get back on my feet and to be honest it IS a real struggle. I'm gaining weight again out of stress so that's making me more stressed and depressed and I'm having a really hard time getting enough money to get a car so that I can get a JOB..... sometimes the stress makes me want to cry but I really don't want to go back to LA because it still feels really painful. I'm still considering trying to get to holland for that vacation and stuff but.....as time goes on it seems that more and more things pile up and block any hope. :) I have trouble keeping a smile on but I think I'm ok for now. ....I have to admit....I'm really lonely, if it wasn't for Laina visiting me so often I don't know if I would really be able to make it depression keeps threatening itself on me.

once again if anyone saw me at fanime and tossed me their contact info some people's handwriting is totally unreadable for me and no matter how many times I've typed it your emails bounce back! T_T if you know who you are PLEASE say so. I really miss talking with you all.

anyways I'm still sleepy after the whole deal so I've spent most of my time napping in people's cars lol and right now it's a lovely 1.08am and I was HOPING to catch a friend online but...alas..... it's a no go.

BTW I got camera #1 developed and I should have #2 done soon as well so you have that to look forwards to.

BYE~:heart:
~~
Tori

PS- can anyone tell I didn't leave the artist alley like....most of the con? last day I grabbed 40 and dashed off to try and do a last minute peep around the Dealers room but they closed AS I WAS RUNNING UP. T_T I was super sad. well...at least I got my tables for next year bought.
  • Listening to: Pandora.com
  • Drinking: coffee
Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
"Victoria Needs A New Boob Job Tour".
(..............wow....)

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Victoria looks like a crack whore.
(OMG)

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Victoria says: 'Posh off, Paris'
(uh..huh)

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
15 Year Old Victoria Wants a Baby
(oh my god this story made me laughs so hard.)

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Victoria does What She Knows Best - Pouting her lips and showing her nipples.
(...........wow why are all Victorias whores?)

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Victoria hates skinny jeans on men.
( but.....no I don't.....I hate baggy jeans. )

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search:
As Jessica spears broccoli and spinach bathed in an Alfredo sauce, Victoria asks how her relationship with God is going.
(I lol'd so hard)


Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
Victoria goes to see the Stones.
(....hmm.... )

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search:
Victoria likes to party with the best of them, especially on her birthday.
(...eeeeh quiet birthdays are better.)

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search:
Victoria eats… in a very healthy manner, nothing over drizzled with olive oil, fat, cream or butter and things lightly steamed.
(yeah actually lately.... that's pretty much correct.)


Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search:
Victoria wears the trousers.
(thank god?)

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search:
Interestingly, Victoria was arrested for obscenity for publishing the accusation, not for libel.
(wha-)


right.....
yeah..... ok... well I'm not taggin anyone but have fun.
  • Listening to: Pandora.com
  • Eating: SAMMITCH!
  • Drinking: coffee, uuuuugh.
UPDATE#2-
For some reason people seem to be assuming that I like starving and being miserable. here I am going to correct that.

I'm leaving stan AKA :iconreiookami: because we clash.  Not because I dropped out of being madly in love with him. No it's because I'm tired of having so many things that bother me fuck over my head. OK?! I'm going back to my parents for a small amount of time to see my brother graduate and then i'm going to Holland BECAUSE I've been planning it for almost five years now? yeah and I'm fucking tired of not doing something that I want to do.  I SAID that I was doing commissions right NOW, before and a small time after Fanime to build up a starter reserve not because I like starving or "living on the edge" no I actually am not even ENJOYING art right now. I'm actually thinking about just putting art aside and saying fuckit! O.K.A.Y.?
I'm aware that I'm having trouble holding down jobs but for some reason only assholes who are about o close down or lay people off RIGHT ON CHRISTMAS decide to hire me. I'm applying for OTHER jobs. yes THANK YOU. OTHER JOBS. Those jobs I hated and refused to do on the pretense that I HATED THEM. but NOW I'm going to do them. THANKS for asking.
I'm not MOVING back to my parents place simply because I'd go barkfuckingINSANE. I stayed there during the funeral and I was driven up the walls fairly quickly I'm sorry that I hate children and I hate hearing them fight about money and school and as much as I tried helping with grading that little shits schoolwork I think the big pansy needs to grow a fucking brain yeah zach I think you're a fucking tard I mean OBVIOUSLY laina and I failed at stepping outwhen we turned 18 like little noittwinnies and laina I love you and I don't think you are a bitch but I think I'd rather die than move back down to buttfucknowhere where there are no real jobs and most of the population are morons and not very high on my list. I'm not a country girl, I didn't really like being one and I'm not about to go back it it unless I plan on nailing my hands to the walls while singing that fucking lollypop song.  add on the fact that I'm highly addicted to having a connection to the internet that doesn't take four weeks to download an episode 30 minutes long but because you can't actually maintain a conection that long you sit ther and see that it gets 80% done and then some jerk decided to hit a phone pole and ruin your fucking life. yeah NOTHAKNS I'm busy chatting with people all over the world having arguments with people via mic and makingfaces at people with my cheap little webcam.
and I mean here again I hit the point there are NOPLACES TO WORK there. I'm not about to try and work on the base and honestly I'm pretty fucking fed up with people soving their fucking ethics down my goddamn throat and I think the Christian god can just shove it. yes I said it. I haven't been a christian for about 9 years now but damn it wasn't hard to fucking pretend because you just have to go to church and criticise others and say shit like "I'll pray for you" yeah I think you all are hippocrits and we all know what I have a problem dealing with yeah that world again HIPPOCRITS fucking wankers. and you know what 30years down the road I'm going to be one of those crazy ladies that everyone forgive because "oh, she's crazy she can't help herself" walking around with panties on my head and a million fucking cats stomping on your feet and insulting you right to your fucking face. sincerity? you got it. - I know that something exists godwise and in every race there is some sort of god so of COURSE there has to be fucking something personally I don't give a damn if it's buddajesusfuckingeygyptiongods or little red freaking ridinghhood whatever god it is has a sadistic sense of fucking humor or they just don't give a flying fuck I refuse to worship them thankyouverymuch but I acknoledge that fact that there is something but if you try to shove your point of view down my throat again I'mgonna fucking punch you, which is another reason I don't want to move down there with my parents. I'm sorry but I don't want to pray to your "loving" fucked up god. OK? ok.
Do you laina think Im a fucking tard though? did I once mention that my parents wouldn't let me come back and live in the goddamned trailer? no they wouldn't give  a fuck as long as I got a cheap little job and became a fucking zombie. and not to mention they objected every fucking step of the way with stan living there they didn't want him they refused to accept someone I chose to love as someone of the family. dad hated his fucking guts and never actually lost the chance to make sure I know that. yeah thank you dad I love mom too she's a reall fucking bitch sometimes but jee I have to love her because she's my mom and at one point she was normal and our family was happy. but that was before they had that demon that runs around sreaming and ignoring all the rules. I hate children ok? I hate my little sister and for the most part I've always hated my little borther I mean the boy doesn't eaven fucking know how to wipe his own ass and he's almost 18?  he doesn't flush and he's squeemish about body fluids and stuff. *eyeroll* sorry but I think he's a pussy. and mom you still haven't answered my goddamn question of if he's graduating or not. i'm still related I can still get him a gift and tell him welcome to the times that you can fuck yourself over. and laina I never answered you the first time because honeslty I wasn't fucking sure how. I said that I FELT like I wanted to not like I was going to go jump infront of the nearest goddamn truck at any moment I was just saying I was FUCKING UPSET because the first time in a long time that I get taken out to dinner its to tell me that I'm being asked to FUCK OFF, go on vacation and don't come back. so here I am sewing my fucking ass off trying to make enough products to sellat fanime to keep me afflot because I KNOW what it takes the bills. and yeah I wasn't happy about living in a shelter but youknow what? I would rather do it again than go back home. I HATE people telling me what to do sorry to say but I think you are just worta warping what I say into something else and trying to ask like mom and here we go again about how much love and care there was. listen mom and dad were GREAT we used to be a family but I started going insane and acting like a goddamn teanager and I ailienated them from me, I hate them no from shear practice hows that? I'm tired of mom throwing fucking thigns at me when she decided to get mad because youknow what? I do it now too, yeah thanks. great way to make friends! not only that I ran off saying that I was sorry but I really HATED how little they respected my opion and that I kinda wanted to for myself and sotp haivng to take care of some little brat that wasn't mine. my family went insane! mom refuses to get a new job but honestly she needs to but by the time she actually goes to do so she will be too OLD! dads obviously gonna work himself to death, wooopdee fucking do. I'm just terrified of the day I'm goning to get the call saying he had a heartattack and probably wont make it or he;ll be my very own veggi dad. I mean we;'ve been expecting it for years he pushes himself to make mom happy and we all know his heart isn't that good.  amnd I'm not ging to fuvcking fail at anything gand just all of you fuck off I asked that if you wanted to bto herlp thGODFUCKINGDAMNITANYWAYS and this is direvcetedto all of youand you know whoyouare!

I'm angery enough at you just bugger off with your bossing around! i'm tired of being manipulated! If i wanted the fucking wool over my goddamn eyes I'd go into Scientology and massive amounts of drugs!


{EDITO!!!!!!}
ok I think I'm feeling better about all of this. It appears that I'm going to be going on a trip to Holland and doing some stuff that I'd kinda forgotten that I wanted to do and lost sight of. I'm taking commissions if anyone is interested to help pay for the trip and start saving money to pay for my own apartment.
I'm actually hoping to get an apartment by myself instead of having roommates. I think that I really need some time getting used to taking care of myself. I'm pretty sure that I'll still be living in the Van Nuys area.

oh another note I've been feeling really yucky all the time. I haven't really been sleeping well either. pretty much I get about 2 hours of sleep every night. *sighs* I mean my sleeping problems were bad before this but I'm not sure that this is very healthy. oh well. more time to sew and do art I guess.

Please, please commission me? I'm cheap and will negotiate prices for pictures. An inked sketch for $10 is reasonable right? *sighs* yeah I know my art isn't the best, but if you wanna help out ..... I'd really appreciate it.

~~

I guess some people would be happy to hear this.  I'm not sure who even cares I just have the feeling that I wont be coming back. I'm moving out of my boyfriends place.  there have been arguments.... and we....somehow come to an agreement that I should leave. to grow up? To become a new person? To find my purpose? one of those I guess.... I don't really remember. I'll be at fanime, and from there.... I'm not sure. I have nowhere really to go.

My heart feels so shattered,  when I think about it..... I have no clue why , I should have expected it.... everyone else pushes me away and out of their lives so quickly and easily. I was stupid in deluding myself that someone I loved and cared about would keep me.

so stupid.
Ok So he has had this coming for a long time and I never really said it but I should have.

I love my uncle. If I hadn't had him growing up I probably would have been lost and (yes I know it's bad, but when you have no purpose in your life.... it happens) committed suicide.(because when I was a kid I was pretty bad at everything. )

When I was sewing, (I used my moms sewing machine, and I HATED sewing) My uncle got me a sewing machine for me for my birthday. At the time I hated it. and the thing has had little use for..... I don't know how many years.

When I got Internet and saw a Dollfie, my uncle found out and got me one (it was about Barbie sized) I wasn't that thankful, I really hate Barbie and all my boy reminded me of was Barbie.

When I started reading a lot of fantasy and gaming.... my uncle got me my playstation2 and my first D&D books and a book on how to form a good story. I totally didn't understand the D&D books and got tired of fighting the rest of the family for the PS2 so I didn't use it too often. Not to mention I was more into bad poetry writing and I thought that my stories sucked.

When I decided to go into art I was doing everything with a mouse until my uncle got me my first tablet. I hated the tablet because it was too small.


My Uncle has always supported me and I want to shout out to him that I LOVE YOU and I now sew nonstop, and I love the machine even if it now no longer works. I adore the dollfie and His name is Kayl and I redid his face-up just the other day. he still has no clothes but I use him as a drawing model all the time. I am now an avid PS2 Gamer, I am currently trying to write my own book, and I play D&D every weekend using those books!  the Tablet has died but I used it until then happily pluggin along and improving my art. (though when my tablet died I sorta lost the ability to draw on the computer for a while. )

I now work and earn a living sewing and doing art. Everything he encouraged me to do was what makes me who I am and everything that I am now.

Thank you Uncle Kevin, from the bottom of my heart!

~~
Well.... I officially killed my sewing machine. I'm in the market for a new one I guess (since that is my main income right now).

Yeah, so I was pluggin along on my dress that I'm making for myself after getting my quota done for today... well the machine all of a sudden starts "chumNK" ing. (I mean it made that sound every time the needle went down.) it had done that a bit back when my mom was using it when HER machine was in the repair shop. when all of a sudden. SNAPCRACK!!!!!!!!!!! Pieces come FLYING out of the machine (it had only chumNK'ed like three times, not even enough warning for me to stop) I have some pretty nasty scratches on my hands and face from the needle breaking into about five different pieces and stabbing the crap out of me. needless to say (and I'm horribly terribly upset by)  my material was gashed horribly in like... six different places. unfortunately the dress was being made from an old prom dress and the material (I've looked around) is impossible to find (it was this horrible blue thing but a friend dyed it for me and it looked great) SO that dress isn't going to be worn at Fanime like I was hoping. BUT I have a second dress started... but unless I get a new machine soon I doubt it will be done in time. I'm really worried that I wont be able to get anything else done for fanime. I REALLY need the money and fanime is the only con I'm selling things. *sighs* so worried.

Ok so I was outside (rare) and we walked by the parking garage and saw.... KITTENS! Appearantly one of the strays that I've been watching after had kittens (I was rather worried about her I hadn't seen her in weeks) well appearantly she has been in hiding up until about last weekish where her and her five kittens come out. I went down there with some foot and sat for a while. two of the kittens are very brave and came and ate out of my lap (I had a bowl in my lap  hoping their mama would come over, she's a real shiny black and although she is REALLY cautious she lets me brush her sometimes. I've worked really hard to get the cats that live down there used to me. )  two of the kittens are shy, but still brave. They came about hmmmm maybe a foot? maybe less. the last one wouldn't even come over,it stayed under one of the cars and watched. I tossed it a few pieces of the fresh bread that I brought down for them and it scarfed so I know it was hungry. I have the feeling it was the runt, they tend to be the most distrustful when they are feral

well I was leaving and I couldn't figure out which key was which and having trouble with the door. And when one of the kittens was calling out I called back to it. XD It came dashing over and rubbed on my leg before it's mama called. NEVER in all my years of dealing with strays have I had one warm up to me in just ONE sitting.  NEVER.  It made me so happy  cause I watched the way they act and they are as cautious as their mom (it took months of sitting down there every day to even get her to come near me.) they fight over food and are obviously wild and mistrustful of people (some people came down and were watching, they had to back up quite a bit before the kittens came back to me.)
It made me happy to know that cats still trust me and that I can call them over.
If I can socialize the kittens enough I'm going to try and "adopt" them.

~~
Death in the family.
someone close..... what do I do? I can't stop crying. I feel so confused. We're driving down there right away.
be gone for a while.
I need comfort right now. oh gods why did she have to die?

Edit- Uhm, not doing so hot. Waiting for the car to pick me up. I got the lowdown of what happened, it made me sick and I spent about an hour throwing up after it. Apparently she'd gone in to the hospital a while back and they dismissed her within an hour, she got put on a breathing machine for fluid in her lungs, the machine broke and they refused to fix it because they're on welfare..... she stopped breathing, and for .....oh gods.... I don't remember ow many hours it was but laina gave her cpr till the ambulance arrived.  

ok the car is here. I go now.

Edit 2- couldn't rent a car. not enough money in account yet. going tomorrow. it's for the best, I'm not sure if I can hold everything together.

I guess that I should explain .....or it feel better to have something to do.

Laina has been my "sister" for a long time now. my family sort of adopted her and she was alway over at my place. her family mine, mine hers. My family has a tendency to "adopt" family members instead. My dad was really adopted (from Ireland with his brother)   my mom's sister was adopted. My grandma Jill was adopted into the family once my grandma disowned our side. (BEST adopted grandma EVER)
So having and adopting my best friend was..... normal?

:iconnightlin: joined DA when we went to homeschool together.  After that ....we were pretty inseparable until she went to a massage school in Ariazona. I moved to LA around the same time she came back and we only get to communicate when she's at my parents place (she still goes there XD like I said she was adopted into my family. my parents don't care when she randomly shows up ...then again XD she's hard not to love.)

This morning I woke up and started my usual batch of coffee to make me zoom through bleeding out prints and things to sell at Fanime.
I avoid all cons from my mom so when she called I told rEi to just say I was in the shower.  A few minutes later he came up to me and said "I think you should take this." I answered and was preparing a mental "oh hey about to go to work can't talk bye bye" I managed to get out "hey" and then I heard "I'm so sorry-*static*-Died-*static and another word*" I though ~Oh, Blanca died from Collic.... I'll buy a tree at the nursery nearby and bring it down to them when I go visit and pick up stuff.~ but she kept cutting out so I told her to wait so I could make sure I heard her right. .....I really wish I hadn't.

"Ok," I turned the speakerphone on cause it was really quiet.
"I can hear you now, what did you say?"
"Laina's mom died."

My world dropped. I dropped everything I was doing and called laina's cell immediatly. I left a message.....

Everything else is a horrid blur. I want to ask you all to go give her hugs. nothing else. just hugs.... I don't think she needs a written reminder of her mom's death. (I'll make sure to tell her not to read any of my journals)

I will go down there and be there for her tomorrow. (unless there is more trouble. *sighs* then I will head down there the day after.)

It hit hard.....
too hard for all of us.

Last edit for today- I'm..... not sure if it's healthy but after sorta shutting down this morning Ive become a little numb to the fact that someone close to me died. I have a habit of locking away my real feelings and ignoring them. I figure...until I go down there I'm going.... to do something horrible. I'm going to completely ignore it.

.....I feel like a horrible person.
Ok so this has actually been bothering me for a while,  and No this isn't a joke. (I don't do jokes like this)

I quote another person lightningryu.deviantart.com/jo… who manages to state EXACTLY what I'm feeling-
"DeviantART is run by a bunch of hypocrites that ban people for supporting /b/ and Anonymous activity even though countless dA staff have joined in on Anonymous jokes and activities themselves. "

Not to mention they BANNED kellywormtongue.deviantart.com…
for calling someone out on some stolen dialogue in a fanfiction. She was not rude or derogatory, but confronted said person about it, they denied taking any dialogue. They marked HER comment as spam. Banned.
She contacted the help desk about it and they said that her ban wouldn't be lifted and they would ban any alternate accounts she made.

I've also noticed that Art Thieving is getting out of hand. My paranoia is bad enough right now K THX! I've also noticed that people are just generally started to turn into rude assholes.
Hell I said something on someone's journal and they blew up at me and for some reason expected me to be nasty and flame the living fuck out of them. es'cuuuuuus me?  

Anyways I've been thinking it over for a while and I'm working currently on making a LJ. I'm not decided on it yet. I know it will never change and it will always get worse and there will always be assholes and art thieves. but I'm still on the hoping side that maybe MAYBE there will be a little bit of a change and people will stop being assholes.


EDIT (add on)-

pedobearplz.deviantart.com/

I lol'd so hard.
  • Listening to: Pandora.com
tw.youtube.com/watch?v=JC0i5bn…

.........I must be a bad person, the only thins that came to me was "YES, an idiot has died."

personally I don't think kids should be watching most cartoons that they have out. Everything is centered around violence and misbehaving (My little sister became a nasty self centered piece of crap after my brother started putting on Naruto and some other stuff. *shrug* then again my mom spoils her. I BLAME YOU ALL 0.o)

OK yes it's sad..... but I laughed my ass off cause I can't do anything.
  • Listening to: Pandora.com
Someone had a journal on the topic or having sort of underhand insulting comments and I read it and went mentally "No...don't think I've really ever gotten one of those. They either plain old insult or it's a pretty generic nice comment."  BUT!!!!!!! Today I was showing an artist friend one of my newest pieces and they said-
"If that's ________.... he'll be a hit in Japan. hehehehe, well it looks like he is a she. mixed with gummy and rubber. stuffed in a blender, then jacked on a human again. total over the top. japanese would love it."

......I don't know what that would make you do but Mentally I sorta cringed, lip quivered and then blubbered out that I really never feel like drawing again. Sorta like telling me I have no original style or my character looks like superman
(I uh...don't really have anything against the guy...ok wait I do. I think He's a fucking pussy. but that is honestly beside the point, I mean it like.... I did the generic -what I think is ...not so nice looking- American comic style.)
and I'm quite aware that my style is not set yet but I KNOW I have a unique flare to my work. I'm not complaining, I just..... I don't know. It's like telling me I'm just a moronic High school girl going around acting like a cat and shouting "Kawaii-desu!!!!11!!1" every fucking second. .......which makes me want to start knifing my friggin face...

.......Journals are fun. -.- *headdesk*

Good god I'm pissy at friggin everyone this week.
  • Listening to: Lilly Chou Chou and Basshunter
EDIT- anyone here play Rappelz? I could really use the help XD. I'm a breeder so I'm kinda weak therefore I keep dying. ......yeah. dying isn't good. so if anyone wants to party with me that would be awesome. I'm on the Lydian Server and my name is Altra.

Well we got an apartment! We have great jobs and internets are now set up as well. Now if only I hadn't opened the box to a shattered scanner (I was crying for like... a freaking day. I have some many things I want to scan) I've been working with copics and I have like..... a hundred pictures that ROCK.... BUT I am working on some pictures on the computer. (a while back I twisted my wrist right before I left and I could only use a pencil for a while. for some reason I don't remember how to use a tablet since then- though I try, BUT I am building that skill back up.)  There should be SOMETHING by the end of today. (if I don't spend all of it playing Rappelz and doing laundry...... :) )

Now.......with the good always comes bad. What will the downturn of the wheel bring us this time?

........ please let it not be the jobs. Really need those.

:D OMG I haven't eaten in like.... two days now. Just waiting for next Tuesday in which we get paid. ....... anyone up for crackers in the snack room? (I hope you aren't..... cause they be gone now. :ninja:) lol  I'm ok though. my health is a little better. XP the apartment is SO empty though, and my back is hell cause the floor here isn't very nice. But next Tuesday..... or actually the one after we will be getting a bed and a kitten I think. We found a cute calico Persian who is CFA certified and has breeding rights. (O.O not that I really want that right now. though I do plan on breeding Munchkins at a later date. If anyone doesn't know what that is...... here-us.iams.com/iams/en_US/jsp/IAM…

I also plan on dabbling around with some other breeds. ^^; I kinda almost want to do that instead of comic making nowadays (my hands hurt all the time. My fingers and joints are always swollen. I don't really want to give up on my dreams though, But I enjoy working with cats.) I know about cats, and I CAN work with cats so this is a big option for me. I'm just not sure I'm ready for the kind of pressure that comes with breeding. because to get your kittens SOLD you have to SHOW and showing is a very competitive and ....kind of cutthroat thing. I entered one show with Tinkers Halo before she was bitten by that wild dog. I think it was one of the most traumatizing experiences I've ever gone through. ^^ but we got fourth place which is was really something.(I know how to PRESENT a cat, and train and stuff..... I just don't know how to present MYSELF. You have to look good and confident..... I don't. :/  )
Munchkins tend to "sit" like people do. It's really CUTE. I mean Aiyu dances but she wont sit up like..... a squirrel? www.munchlets.com/Altered/Shel…;
*obsess obsess*

I have a slight dream to one day be listed here -www.breedlist.com/breed.html

I want to breed Himalayans, Munchkins (and Napoleons, which are a mix of Munchkin and Persian), Balinese and Siamese, and some of the more rare breeds to the US.  I'm actually considering getting a Napoleon from a Breeder in Holland but I lost site address. XD guuuuunna have to find that...... cause I REALLY like the line that they are producing. they had a Dark chocolate short hair munchkin *goes off to search.* I'll post a link if I find his site.


FOUND IT!!!!!!!!- www.xxlcattery.ch/

Purdy. :D (this www.xxlcattery.ch/prev90.jpg is my favorite.) SO pretty. .....I really want one of his line. .............Perfect would be exactly the same BUT long haired. *nodnod*.....I think the meds are kickin in. lol off to nap and then..... DRAWING TIME. must get something done today.
Now.... I've experienced many many horrifying things. Stupidity that rules out all comprehension, I've seen people murdered, and the leftovers of horrifying car wreaks . BUT never did I expect something like THIS www.kittyhell.com/ to bring me to tears and nightmares that made me wake not only crying but screaming.

.....

Overall it was not just the products that horrified me, but the fact that his wife was.....so obsessed, and the there are more people like that as well. Oddly enough I never thought I would end up not only feeling mentally abused and desecrated but physically dirty.

I laughed at first but I'm a little afraid to actually finish reading this poor bastard's blog.

NEVER did I think this would give me nightmares.

....I now will state it- Hello Kitty is the NEW Hitler.