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Done unDone by Crussol12
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:iconkatdiestel:
KatDiestel Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015
well ken, i will tell you how i feel looking at it:
i like the gray, i like the emptiness of the space there. especially this rectangular line
i also like the lower, crowded part.
BUT the whole thing does not really speak to me, the golden thing (lighter?) ??

all in all it is too crowded to me - the lower part contrasts heavily with the upper one - taken for themselves they are great but together they fight each other. but then not enough to make a statement.
.... hm. does this make sense to you?
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:iconcrussol12:
Crussol12 Featured By Owner Edited Apr 7, 2015  Hobbyist
Indeed it makes sense. You have beautifully articulated a very interesting take on the piece.
I love that the comments have expressed very different "readings" or reactions to the piece.
Thanks!
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:iconkatdiestel:
KatDiestel Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015
You are welcome, Ken. I'm glad you could use these comments.
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:iconcrussol12:
Crussol12 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  Hobbyist
Everything gets processed. Digested. Thrown into the mix. Considered.
The result is rarely predictable.
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:iconberlinhelmut:
berlinhelmut Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My impression is quite different from other comments. The living background in shapes of gray is a powerful and quasi silent background which is an adequate counterpart to the higher enriched one on reluctant (Prussian?) blue in the lower part. For me, this asymmetry and off-balance is an essential feature: MORE WOULD BE LESS!!! 
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:iconcrussol12:
Crussol12 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015  Hobbyist
Very interesting insight, Helmut. Thanks!
Right now I am leaning in your direction. I may emphasize the line and plate tone at the top just a little and stop there.
I received an email from a friend who is not a member of dA but looks at my page occasionally and she echoed your observations very closely. 
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:iconberlinhelmut:
berlinhelmut Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have the impression that asymmetry generates some excitement in positive manner and - to be honest - I like it when my eyes have some space to relax before focussing significant objects instead of searching the emphasis in jungle. Do you understand what I mean?
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:iconcrussol12:
Crussol12 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015  Hobbyist
Exactly.
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:iconcrazyruthie:
crazyruthie Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015   Traditional Artist
It seems to me there's too much space at the top. I can see why you you placed things where you did. It looks great, but I can offer that idea. :)
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:iconcrussol12:
Crussol12 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist
Yep, too much space at the top, that's the issue alright. Or, as Richard says, "un-energized space"
Now, if anything, to do about it. At first I thought putting the line enclosed shape up there would take care of it. But no. It added the challenge of inside/outside. That is, do I stay within that shape or outside or both.
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:iconcrazyruthie:
crazyruthie Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015   Traditional Artist
A fairly radical change...what about turning the blue conglomeration of papers and such, 90° and move it up the page, so it's closer to the top.

You prolly won't want to change it that much. What about trimming an inch or two off the top?
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:iconcrussol12:
Crussol12 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist
Cropping would normally be one of my first thoughts. But since this is on a print with plate marks, I'm trying to keep it whole.
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:iconcrazyruthie:
crazyruthie Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015   Traditional Artist
ahhh,, gottcha. the only two options are moving the exisiting stuff up the page, if possible    OR adding something structural to the stuff there to get more height in it. 
gotta get higher. 

:)
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:iconrichardleach:
RichardLeach Featured By Owner Edited Apr 4, 2015   Traditional Artist
I know why you ask I think. The lower section is great, in fact perfect but there's a fair amount of un-energized space at the top (not the same as empty or unused) and it's tempting to see it as needing something. But when you've got one perfect area anything further you do might mess up the whole piece. So it's a toss-up. If I were pushed... I might try a narrow horizontal element the same width as the blue area and not too far above it. But it might not work... I'd need to try out different scraps on the piece and see how they felt.

Or maybe - a thin horizontal in the gray area to the right of the blue, and, again, above it. That would complete a diagonal composition. As I say, it's working with the piece and seeing what feels right. What you've got here already is really good - and it would not be a mistake to leave it as is.
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:iconcrussol12:
Crussol12 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist
Great observations and suggestions, Richard. Thanks.
Yeah, that space at the top is the challenge. Plate tone and the square shape/line attached to the collage part are not enough, I think. But then, sometimes they are enough. Maybe. Now I'm wondering about just working the plate tone with pencil or colored pencil to try to make it a little richer at the top. It would be easy to make the squarish shape pop out but I don't think that's a solution, not really. Like I said to Christine, there's the added issue of to work inside the square, or outside, or across the lines or what. I'll probably print out a couple of copies and try different things plus work with some scraps, as you say.
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