Deviation Actions
Literature Text
A piece of me,
Seeks,
A piece in you.
We braved the skies,
To melt the cone;
Sawed the ice,
To wash a bone.
A piece of me,
Weaves,
A piece in you,
We rowed the oars,
To scratch on shells;
Grew the moss,
On winter bells.
A piece in me,
Binds,
A piece to you.
We filled the trunks,
With oaks and fur;
Sold the grass,
To the ancient blur.
A piece of me,
Vows, to
A piece of you.
We wore the hay,
To grow the vine;
A patch of moon,
For ants to dine.
A piece of me,
Thaws,
A piece in you.
The gray grew wide,
With teeth and claws;
We rode the tide,
On pixie paws.
A piece of me,
Becomes,
A piece of you.
When time grew old,
A cot we wove;
Of distant dreams,
In a twilight grove.
...............
We plucked the stars,
Off pastel skies;
The twigs hid wounds,
In rust of lies.
The whole of me,
Yearns,
A piece of you.
after the tone
blind
What Things Cost
Were you able to connect emotionally with the piece in a natural manner or was it more of a strain to read through the lines and interpret?
Anything you would have written differently or added onto it?
What did the piece make you feel after you have completed reading it?
Thanks a lot for any feedback you provide and any comments you leave behind.
Please also check out the works of flowerplowedup . Her words can melt your soul and leave you in a pool of emotions. I recently stumbled across one of her beautiful poems and left a rather modest review to portray my appreciation for the piece: fav.me/de1dthy
A shoutout to the wonderful people of theWrittenRevolution . Their support and feedback is not only aiding a lot of the writers grow but is also making us learn to appreciate the works of other fellow writers.
I would like to tell you that this poem would make great wedding vows in my opinion. I love the 3-4 line stanza variation, making it somewhat smoother to the reader, it flowed, softly and sweetly right into my heart.
1- I connected to the piece really easily ! It read great and left the reader time for interpretation after the first read.
2- I wouldn't really have written anything differently, nature as a sign of love is something that should stay untouched, as each person has their own conception of this natural romantic symbolism.
3- I felt happy, and at the same time, a slight pinch of sadness, a piece of that longing, of that yearning slid into my soul, that was a great piece !