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I think I might adapt all of my comics into stories, seeing as how I haven't had the desire (or the means) to draw anything in a long time and have taken up writing excessively to fill the void.

What do you guys think?
  • Listening to: Some dumbass cop show
  • Reading: Old Tumblr posts
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: King Cobra
I have a friend on here, he's an aspiring writer and video game designer, and I want to give him a shout-out. His name is russellpreston1 and he's a really nice guy. Check him out and give him a watch, or fave his stuff if you like it. 

Also, tell me if I should do more shout-outs in my journals or not. 
  • Listening to: Silence
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Tea
I got a new computer! Well, technically it's my old computer, but it has a much better OS installed and a lot of awesome upgrades in general.

Hopefully this means I'll be able to do more.
  • Listening to: The fan
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: YouTube
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Granola bar
  • Drinking: Soda
We got the water turned back on, finally. Fixed the pipes and hopefully came up with a way to prevent them from freezing again next week. 

It feels so good just to be able to flush the toilets again. 

  • Listening to: Silence.
  • Reading: Some Dragon Ball Z Fan Fic.
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Tea.
I just got a hard reminder that almost all of the great friends I made on this site, the oldest and closest, have left to places I can't follow, and that they're likely gone forever. Some changed in such ways that our very natures clashed, others left me because they couldn't stand the company that I keep or because some stupid mistake I made hurt them in a way they could never forgive, and others simply...disappeared. 

I'm very short on friends as of late, and it seems like they all left when I might have needed them most. I miss when I could come here and get lost in endless conversations, roleplays and joke-offs, participate in the community because there were still people I actually liked a whole lot here. 

I'm sure some of you who still care about me are out there, reading this. Don't take offense. I care about you, too. It's just...there were certain people here who I loved a whole lot, and now they're gone, and it feels like they took something of mine when they left.


The pipes under our house froze and burst yesterday. We don't have any running water, and based on the way the weather is acting we probably won't for at least a week. 

Winter's getting colder, the house is getting harder to heat. We're pretty much out of money and food stamps. Shit's getting bad, real fast, and it doesn't look like it'll get better anytime soon. 

On top of that, I can't even watch videos. Shockwave flash has been fucked up since late December, videos play with extremely low frame rate, and the only conceivable way I can think of to fix it is to get a new computer. 

I've taken up doping myself with large amounts of Benadryl again, like I used to do back when I was suicidal. Only now I do it to get over this paralyzing fear I've developed about going through doors and being alone in the dark. I keep thinking I see shit, people and things. The drugs help me calm down. 

I felt guilty about it at first, but the person who made me promise not to take so much told me she never wanted to speak to me again and cut off all contact, so fuck it. 

Beth moved back in, trying to get a job and continue her education. No luck, really. She's just become another mouth to feed. I'm glad to have her here, and sometimes we have fun together telling jokes and stuff, but still... It's harder. 

At the end of all this shit, though, there are a few silver linings. With no YouTube to distract me, I've been able to get a lot more reading done. I've also been writing and coming up with stories like a mad bastard. I've even written a few rap verses, which are the creative equivalent to unicorns in my brain when it comes to rarity as of late. 

So yeah. It's not all bad. Just mostly.

  • Listening to: The weather.
  • Reading: Some Teen Titans Dark Fic.
  • Watching: Nothing,
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Tea.
I can't search for deviations, or click on any deviations to look at them. Shit, I can't even look at the pictures in my own damn gallery because of this. 

Is anybody else having this problem? If so, I'd like some ideas on what to do about rectifying it, or at the very least how to find somebody who CAN help me. 

  • Listening to: Immortal Technique.
  • Reading: Nothing.
  • Watching: Nothing,
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Christmas cookies.
  • Drinking: Diet cola.
So I've been reading through my stuff, and wanted to do another Crookedalley Show. 

I can't think of which character I want to have on as a guest. So, being lazy and loving participation, I'm going to ask you guys to pick for me. 

Which of my characters would you like to interview with your questions? Leave your requests in the comments below. The one that gets repeated the most often wins. 

These two characters are off-limits, as they already had episodes: 


-Uncle Pockets 

You can pick any characters you want, and even multiple characters if they are on a team or in a group(such as Tiffany's band Sexxy Cyanide or Mo's gang The Jack Knife Crew), but please make sure to only pick characters that belong to me. Characters in collaborative works or created by other artists are excluded from the Crookedalley Show. 

Hope to hear your suggestions soon! This is Crookedalley, over and out! :salute:
  • Listening to: David Letterman talking about boring shit.
  • Reading: Crossed.
  • Watching: Let's Plays by Markiplier and theRadBrad.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Off-brand Mountain Dew.
I've just been kind of tapped creatively. Every now and then I'll come back, but for the most part I can't seem to find any reason to stick around for more than a few seconds. 

I'll be in and out, and I'll do my best to answer your messages, but shit has just been weird lately. I keep having these random bursts of completely reclusive behavior where I don't want to talk to anybody, and when I do talk I'm usually either saying weird shit for no apparent reason or getting violently angry with little provocation. 

Something is wrong with my brain, I'm sure. 

But yeah, that's why I've been sort of absent. I hope you can forgive me, and have a good day. 

Crookedalley, over and out. :salute:
  • Listening to: The fan.
  • Reading: Everything's Eventual.
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Waffles
  • Drinking: Faygo Rock & Rye.
Feminists and masculists are both retarded cunts.

This isn't about equality to you whiny little dipshits anymore. This is a fucking gang war.

If you truly cared about gender equality, you would stop squabbling and come together to work as a single unit dedicated to fixing gender issues from both sides of the fence.

But the sad truth is, you don't care about gender equality. NONE of you do. All you care about is playing "my set of genitals have it worse off and your set of genitals is more privileged" with each other, like a bunch of whiny teenagers sitting out in front of a Hot Topic. You can't stand the idea that the other sex might be having it bad as well, or that they might not want to be blamed for the suffering inflicted on them by society's fucked up standards. Children, the whole lot of you.

Let me say this right now, and make myself as clear as possible: If you consider yourself feminist, masculist, MRA, or any other gender/sex equality movement that uses only one specific gender as the name and crux of your ideology, then you are not fighting for equality. It is impossible for a feminist to truly fight for men's rights because the feminist is only looking at it through the lens of how it negatively impacts women, just as it is impossible for masculists to truly fight for women's rights because the masculist is only looking at it through the lens of how it negatively impacts men. Neither one of you can help this, because the crux of your movements and the issues that guides your hands into action are not the issues of gender or sex in general, but rather the issues of the genders and sexes which you prefer.

And that, my friends, is simply sexism.
  • Listening to: Silence.
  • Reading: Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple.
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Kool-Aid.
I have been arguing with a lot of stamp makers on dA lately. I guess my only justification(as if I need one) for doing so is this....

If you make a stamp, you have no right to be uppity about anything. Stamps are nothing more than glorified forum signatures. Over-detailed Facebook posts that allow you to bark your t-shirt slogan of an opinion in all the colors of the rainbow. They're not artistic and they certainly aren't worth having a self-righteous attitude over, especially if you make stamps talking about what "ought and not ought to be" ANYTHING, particularly art or music or any other subjective bullshit you wanna whine about.

I dunno, I guess stamp-makers just piss me off more than usual. Something about having an uppity attitude while expressing your opinions with all the subtlety and artistic intent of a brick to the face tends to irk me.

Anyway.... I need to finish off this chocolate milk before it spoils....
  • Listening to: Silence.
  • Reading: Nothing.
  • Watching: Either Let's Plays or Warehouse 13.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Chocolate milk.
At least for the time being.
  • Listening to: Television.
  • Reading: Cracked.
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Chocolate milk.
Fuck SOPA, CISPA, PIPA, and every other attempt to censor the internet.

In two days, I will be protesting this attempted infringement upon my constitutional rights by abstaining from logging onto the internet for 24 hours.

I suggest you all do the same.

And please inform me of any other protests/blackout dates that may be occurring so that I might participate in those as well.

Let 'em know that we won't stand for this bullshit!
  • Listening to: Silence.
  • Reading: American Psycho
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Nothing.
I'm running on four days with only two hours of sleep, here. My mind has been kept awake by stimulants made for kids with ADHD. I'm hallucinating like a motherfucker as I type this.

I'm not completely lucid, is what I'm trying to say, so this may in all likelihood just be one final burnout before I go crash on my possessed mattress for the next two weeks, but.....

I think I actually may have met my diametrical opposite, the one soul in this universe meant to clash with me as an equal and opposite. The unstoppable force to my immovable object(inb4sexjoke), the peanut butter to my jelly. The throbbing cock to my bleeding cunt.

Strangely, I always thought it would be Chris-Chan that assumes this role.

I'm not going to say his name just yet, or even go into very much detail on his nature, because this could all just be my headmeat twitching and convulsing as it begs my body to please sleep, to recharge, while at the same time wanting more go-pills. I will tell you this, though: Imagine everything I rant about, everything I stand against on this site and others.....

Now imagine somebody ranting and raving and trying to expose corruption with the same vigor as I have....but with complete opposite viewpoints. I rant about the restrictive submission policies, he rants about them not being strict enough. I rant about the subjectivity of art being forgotten by hypocrites, while he rants about people using "subjectivity" as a license to spin gold into cow shit and then photograph/draw it. We also both seem prone to fugue states, and possibly manic/depressive periods.

If he.... If he really is my fated nemesis, my destined opponent.... Oh my. :iconpervplz:

I feel.... I feel really weird....

....I need a cigarette. Pronto. :iconsmokeplz:
  • Listening to: Fan.
  • Reading: Your dirty little sluts.
  • Watching: My blood pressure.
  • Playing: With your parts.
  • Eating: You out.
  • Drinking: Cola.
Anyone know any good tips on how to increase motivation?
  • Listening to: Silence.
  • Reading: What I type.
  • Watching: Two Saiyans Play.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Nothing.
If any of you guys have been paying really close attention, you'll notice I've been obsessed with a comic called "Crossed". What is Crossed, you may ask? Well, I'll tell you....

Crossed is an extremely dark spin on the classic zombie apocalypse story. Originally written by Garth Ennis and drawn by Jacen Burrows, but contributed to since by other writers and artists, it is about the sudden(like, "within ten minutes"-sudden) global outbreak of a plague that is transmitted through bodily fluids. The plague causes those infected to develop a cross-shaped rash/cluster of boils on their faces(hence the title "Crossed", which is what the infected are referred to). The Crossed are just like humans in almost every way. They breathe, eat, speak, shit, and fuck. They know how to operate tools and formulate rudimentary plans. There's just one tiny little difference: The Crossed, due to the virus, are compelled to always act out their most evil thoughts with sadistic glee. Every horrific thing humans are capable of doing to each other(rape, murder, mutilation, torture, genocide, cannibalism, etc.), the Crossed carry out with grins on their faces and laughing their heads off. They do not fear anything, and even take delight in being raped and mutilated themselves.

Many see the comics as gross and disgusting torture/gore porn that would only interest the sadistic idiots who like stuff like Hostel and would make everyone else weep for humanity. However, others see the comics as a brilliant satire of the recent "zombie survivalist" movement which shows just how helpless most of these so-called "survivors" would really be in such a situation. The comic has also been hailed as a brutal examination of humanity's inherent evil: The Crossed aren't capable of doing anything that humans themselves are not capable of. Everything they do, every horrible atrocity they commit because they are compelled to do so, has already been done by countless humans who did not have the convenient excuse of a virus that robs them of their free will. The only difference between humans and Crossed is that we have a choice, and many of us choose to do awful things that we try to justify later, but really can't.

Whichever you want to see it as(garbage or goodness) is up to you. Personally? I find it brilliant, both for the gore and the underlying social messages, but also for this one simple prosaic fact: There is no hope in the Crossed universe. There are no heroes. There will never be a cure, and there will never be a strike-back on humanity's side. Humanity is a dying breed, and all we can hope for is that somebody is kind enough to put a bullet in our heads so we don't die screaming. It is a bleak world where seeing tomorrow is not guaranteed or even hinted at, and that makes it at once both terrifying and depressing. If you don't like downers, don't pick it up.

Now, why am I talking to you about all this? Well, I was thinking today about what would happen if the "Crossed germ" ever made its way into my own stories, how the characters would react and what they would do. I had planned on writing a few short summaries here, but the above explanation left me a bit winded, so instead I'm going to give all of you a little assignment:

Tell me, in the comments, which story of mine would you like to see get a Crossed fanfic. The title that gets repeated the most is the one I will use in the upcoming story. If I do not get any titles within a few months, I'll just cancel it and write a new journal. No harm, no foul.

I hope to hear your suggestions soon.
  • Listening to: Tracy Morgan(HELP ME!!!)
  • Reading: What I type.
  • Watching: A Let's Play of Day Z by TheZemalf.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Cola.
So apparently some little piss-stain, going by the creative name crookedalleyisadick, just spam-fucked my page calling me a cunt and then blocked me.


I really wish the little fucker hadn't done the last part. I would have loved to see how far he or she went in their hatred.

Anyway, if you want a piece of this little twat, you know what to do. Clicky-de-linky. Otherwise, just sit back and laugh with me. :XD:
  • Listening to: Silence.
  • Reading: What I type.
  • Watching: The screen.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Peanut buttuh sammich.
  • Drinking: Off-brand Dr. Pepper.
If I reveal everything about Jamie's past, before I've even gotten halfway through the story, then what's the point?

That, combined with massive writer's block and numerous distractions, has led to me deciding that I won't be submitting Jamie's Complete Family History after all.

And due to the fact that I can't submit comics or drawings of any kind until I can get my hands on sixty dollars to shell out on Paintshop Pro, I guess Jamie just won't get a birthday this year.

Sorry, guys. I didn't mean to let you down, (and no matter what you may say, I know I did let you down), but I'm just physically and logically incapable of doing anything good or decent right now. I don't know if I will be again, but for now, and for the past few months, I just haven't been able to create. I was stupid to think that I would be able to do something great, just because I wanted to make you happy.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I have nothing to occupy my mind, but I also have no will to do anything creative. I want some drugs. I want a loaded shotgun placed against my brainstem and fired.

This is just going to degenerate into another "fuck my life" journal if I keep going. So I'm going to save all of us the embarrassment and end it here. Sorry, everyone.
  • Listening to: Stupid TV.
  • Reading: What I type.
  • Watching: The screen.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: My words.
  • Drinking: Off-brand Dr. Pepper.
Well folks and fucktards and feisty fuck-buddies, it's your old pal Crooked here. And guess what I just realized? It's almost October 10th! You know what day that is, right?

Right. It's the canon birthday of our favorite little murdering psychotic, Jamie! Jamie has come far from a quick little story concept that I wrote down in frustration against the public school system back when I was an angsty seventeen-year-old. He's grown as a character and has developed a small but dedicated fandom here on deviantART, and I think that I speak for everyone when I say he deserves a bit of recognition for coming so far along.

Unfortunately, I can't do drawings right now, so instead I've decided to write something down which I'm sure his fans will enjoy: Jamie's complete family history. It will include details of the Clark Butcher's childhood, facts about his parents, and even a few things about his ancestors. But that's not all! I'm thinking of including a secret, something I've managed to keep from the majority of you guys for a long time.... His surname.

Yes. That's right. Look through any of the Jamie pictures and writings on my gallery. You won't find anything about his last name in any of it. Oh sure, you might discover that his surname starts with a "K", but what information does that give you? Nothing. Lots of names start with a K. Well speculate no more! Because, on October 10th(or a day or two after depending on extenuating circumstances), I am going to release Jamie's Complete Family History, and it will include both his middle and last name! So be on the lookout for it!

Crookedalley, over and out! :salute:
  • Listening to: Fish tank.
  • Reading: What I type.
  • Watching: The screen.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Fluffernutter.
  • Drinking: Off-brand Mountain Dew drink.
"When you're trying to have a quiet little shindig with a few friends, maybe playing video games and having a few drinks, and a bunch of drunken, obnoxious frat boys bust into your gathering and start being loud and annoying, do you want to "all stick together", or do you want those rude assholes to leave your party?

Same. Thing.

Look at the past comments on this comic. They started out mellow, calm, and relatively sane. Then somebody told the butt-fuck brigade over at one of 4chans "everything makes me horny" boards that there were some "sm3xxehz" fictional characters to masturbate loudly to over here, and gradually the comment section was filled with more and more fail.

The people that are lashing out are only doing so because they're tired of getting into something cool and interesting only to have the fandom fill up with a bunch of obnoxious retards who can't seem to shut the hell up about how much they want to fuck that character pushing a shopping cart with a goddamn ginger root because the only way they know how to appreciate an artist's work is by objectifying it sexually in the most irritating and shameful way possible!"

-My response to a comment about "leave the fantards alone" that was posted on Zombiewaffe(…), a webcomic that was pretty cool until a bunch of sex-crazed cunts got hold of it. I think I outdid myself here. What do you think?
  • Listening to: Silence.
  • Reading: What I type.
  • Watching: The screen.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Peanut butter on a spoon.
  • Drinking: Lemon-lime soda.
Hello, friends. Crookedalley here. Guess what time it is. That's right: It's BAWWWlocker shaming time!

So I was informed by a victim-turned-friend(BTIsaac) of a little twat named syence making an ass of himself on a stamp which centered around atheism:… My friend came to me, rather confused about this person's intentions, unsure if he was trolling or just a moron. I stepped in to assess the situation, and while I had a lot of fun slinging insults at him, I still couldn't quite determine whether he was just a troll(and bad at it) or somebody so pants-fudgingly stupid that he would act like this. Here's our recorded conversation, starting at the first comment of his that I replied to. Why don't I let you guys judge....

Him: Pick fights? Again, you are a moron. Eat a shit and die a horrible death. It's best for everyone.

I have tons of friends, lol. I just said I lose them a lot because I simply can't spend time with them. wtf?

Yeah, you are so cool, you sit and prepare these silly rebuttals. I mean, you're doing it just for the fuck of it, while I'm doing it to tell you to fuck off, because you're obviously ignorant and keep proving it with every reply.

Me: "I have tons of friends, lol. I just said I lose them a lot because I simply can't spend time with them. wtf? "

You can't spend time with them because you're too busy getting into childish arguments over the internet to actually interact with real people.

Your girlfriend is also left wanting, not that you could have really satisfied her sexually with that puny thing you call a cock.

I wouldn't be surprised if she found herself a nice, well-hung black gentleman to screw her silly while you sit here arguing over something as utterly pointless as the nature of God.

You wanna know about God, sweetie? I'll tell you about God. I've met multiple Gods, held palaver with them. Hell, I've even orchestrated and conspired in the deaths of one or two. All of them are either impotent(like you!), malevolent, unaware of our existence, or simply batshit insane.

You know what, though? The Christian is STILL more logical than your bitch ass. That's saying something, too, you fucking worthless pile of elephant excrement

Him: Educating demonstrably stupid people over the internet is more of a public service. I actually work from home (on this stupid arguing device, apparently), so I'm here writing away when I'm not engaging with the borg collective...

Everything else you said was moronic.

Did you want to cry? Sounds like I struck a weak nerve. It's okay to cry, especially when someone completely destroys your quivering, pathetic worldview.

I mean, it's essentially the same as telling a five year old there is no Santa. They kick and scream, until you tell them they can still have presents. Even kids known which part of the myth is important. The material one.

Kind of like how theists have been trying their very best to find even the slightest bit of evidence for the supernatural and their big daddy, but not only came up short, ended up discrediting their idiotic beliefs, too.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Yes, christians are still more logical than me. Yet, I've proven otherwise. Doesn't stop you from simply stating it like an axiom, though. Oh, stupid people, you'll never know how mindless you are.

Me: "I actually work from home (on this stupid arguing device, apparently), so I'm here writing away when I'm not engaging with the borg collective..."

Sitting in your mom's basement because you smell too bad to work at the local Micky Dees doesn't count as "working from home", dude.

"Everything else you said was moronic."

Translation: "I'm too stupid to address your other arguments in a rational fashion, so I'll just dismiss them."

"Did you want to cry? Sounds like I struck a weak nerve. It's okay to cry, especially when someone completely destroys your quivering, pathetic worldview."

Nigga, you ain't even struck a funnybone. Normally, sad-sacks like yourself would have me busting a gut and spraying soda out of my nose laughing, but I saw your response and I was just like "Oh, right. I forgot about that guy. Let's see what he's up to."

"I mean, it's essentially the same as telling a five year old there is no Santa. They kick and scream, until you tell them they can still have presents. Even kids known which part of the myth is important. The material one."

I don't tell kids there's no Santa Claus. I tell them that Santa is a child molester.

"Kind of like how theists have been trying their very best to find even the slightest bit of evidence for the supernatural and their big daddy, but not only came up short, ended up discrediting their idiotic beliefs, too."

I don't give a fuck about theists. The gods I acknowledge are more Lovecraftian in nature. The few that are benevolent or capable of kindness every now and then are weak and useless. I don't pray to them. I just acknowledge them and give them the finger. Don't lump me in with those Jesus fucks. I'm a lot meaner.

"Oh, it's wonderful."

That butt-plug you installed in your chair finally tickle your prostate, champ?

"Yes, christians are still more logical than me. Yet, I've proven otherwise. Doesn't stop you from simply stating it like an axiom, though. Oh, stupid people, you'll never know how mindless you are."

You haven't proven anything, though. That's the fucked up thing. You have so many arguments that you can pick from to discredit their belief in a benevolent god, yet you just fling shit and beat your dick like a rabid monkey. You're not some profound intellectual. You're just as aggressive, prejudiced, and laughably stupid as they are. You rely on fallacious logic when you try logic at all, and you repeat that sophomoric "you gonna cry" crap like it actually proves your point.

You aren't making anyone cry, buddy, unless they're crying over what an embarrassment you are to skeptics everywhere. Read a fucking book, sunshine.

Him: Gotten to.

Me: What? Have you suffered a brain embolism already?


Me: You're going to block me soon, aren't you?

I can sense it. Cowardly little inept worms like yourself always resort to it when confronting your betters. You're so pathetic. You really are.

Him: No, you would have sink to simple trolling, like your buddies, for me to block you.

I mean, I can't promise I won't, but it all depends on you.

I've made sound arguments, you've simply ridiculed me with baseless accusations, both naive and ignorant.

Then you've gone on to pile onto that ignorance, by disregarding all of my comprehensive arguments.

You are an ignoramus.
(As if one could "sink" to trolling, rather than doing so intentionally from the start. lol)

Me: What point is there to trolling a troll? Especially one as dumb as you.

I haven't seen one single "sound argument" issue forth from your bitch-ass since I started talking to you. All I've seen you do is this:

"Hey, Christians are dumb. They believe in God. That's stupid. You gonna cry?"

Not much of an argument, more of a vicious and mindless attack. Something perpetuated by a slow, dumb animal.

Him: Ahuh...

You paraphrased me so precisely!

How did you become this bastion of psychoanalysis?!

You have yet to deal with one of my arguments. Till then, little guy.

Me: I never claimed that I was here to "deal" with your arguments. I'm just pointing out that your arguments, what precious little you give, are handled with all the intellect and grace of a petulant child flipping the chess board because he doesn't know how to play.

There are many, MANY compelling and intellectually sound arguments for atheism. You're just not making any.

Him: Ahuh... (Has that become a verbal tic?)

Did you want to point any out. It's called a rebuttal. New word for you, I'm sure.

Oh, that's right. You simply just wanted to claim I'm wrong and then not argue one single point.

Typical ignoramus.

Me: I never said I wanted to claim you're wrong. I just want to abuse you. Why?

Because you're a filthy worm, that's why. A mangy dog not even fit to look me in the eyes. How can you disprove God when you're talking to the motherfucker? Bow down, bitch.

Him: And blocka blocka blocka blocka blocked!

I'm done listening to a moron cry about why he can't make one valid argument. Something even a child can do proficiently. Have fun with that one, ignoramus.

Over, right? Nope. Turns out, the little fucker had more to say that he didn't want a response to. He came onto my page and left this....

Your "art" is worse than shit.

I literally make better art wiping my ass after shitting out a hoagie. You are a waste of life.

To think you thought you knew more than me! LOLOL

You don't even know how to draw a fucking stick figure! LOLOLOL

I tried to respond, but of course the gutless coward blocked me before he could get my warning. Here is what I tried to send....

Very mature of you. I never claimed my art was hot shit. I think it sucks even more than you probably do, and chances are your pathetic simian ass is pilling your little-bitty pud to it as I type this. I mean, it's not like this imaginary "girlfriend" you feel the need to brag about to strangers online is giving you any ass. If she were, you'd be a lot less aggressive and prone to flashing your easily-deflated e-peen at everybody who strikes your fancy.

You're such a sub-human abomination. A filthy pimple right in the smelly asshole of the world, throbbing with the sebaceous fluid that results from your emotional infection. You'll never get an emotional reaction out of me beyond pity or amusement, because for all your chest-thumping stupidity you don't warrant anything greater.

This will end, though. It'll end when you eventually block me, after you realize that I don't crack like other people. You'll say some stupid shit and declare yourself the "winner" because it appears that you got the last word. I know your type, syence. You make a big flash and fizzle out, then you cut and run when you realize that nobody's looking at you the way you intend.

I would caution you to preserve your dignity and just block me already, because even if you do BAWWlock like a bitch I'm still going to record our conversation and present it for all of my friends to laugh at. If there's one thing I can't stand, my autistic friend, it's cowardice in the face of adversity. So make your next move wisely, because it might not go the way you're planning.

Looking back through all of that, with the amusement gone and nothing but contempt remaining inside of me, I'm pretty sure the cunt was trolling. He did something very similar to my friend before blocking him. What do you guys think? If you think he was trolling, let's share a laugh at what a failure he is for doing what trolls are supposed to instigate their targets into. If you think he was serious, however, do me a favor and send him my last response if you have the time. I want to see if he un-blocks me just to read this record. =)

This is Crookedalley, over and out. :salute:
  • Listening to: TV.
  • Reading: What I type.
  • Watching: The screen.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Lemon-lime soda and hot coffee.