Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Artist Chubby Chuck Jim.Male/United States Group :iconcrazycastle: CrazyCastle
We're radioactive!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 942 Deviations 54,491 Comments 43,057 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

The Neckbeard Edgelord Manifesto
I’m a total neckbeard edgelord.
The kinda guy who would be a goth if he wasn’t too lazy to learn how to put on makeup.
The kinda guy who would be a hardcore gamer if he cared about video games.
A hipster within a culture of hipsters, a leftist who gets called a conservative, a hippie slacker with a mean streak as big as his penis is small.
I’m that douchebag atheist that makes atheists not want to associate with atheism.
I tell dead baby jokes and rape jokes as easily as I breathe.
I’m offended by nothing except the stupidity of my fellow man, to which I have grown jaded and numb.
I write asinine pseudo-poetic posts like this online because I think it makes me a philosopher.
I’m a contrarian, a non-conformer, a mocker of opinions, and a total fuckwad. I may also be slightly autistic.
I complain and rant about society, but I’m too lazy to do anything worthwhile about it.
My primary emotions are apathy and rage.
I like to say the word cunt a lot, just
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 1 1
Mature content
Crooked Chuck: Father of All Sin :iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 0
Ultimate Bio: Oballa
Name: Oballa
Titles and Aliases: The Order, The Law, The Light, Sturdiness, Structure, The Lord of Purpose, etc.
Goals: Establishing and maintaining Order within reality, undermining and abolishing Chaos wherever he can.
Associated Colors: Crimson, Silver.
Associated Elements: Light, Blood, Fire.
Positive Attributes: Calm and rational, an excellent planner. Well-mannered and meticulous. Values safety and logic.
Flaws: Black-and-white thinking, exceptionally judgemental. Disdains freedom. Restrictive to the point of fascist at times. No sense of humor.
Common/Preferred Forms: A radiant (yet perfectly-symmetrical) silvery/red glow, a tall older man with long dark hair in a dapper crimson suit, an impossibly-complex configuration of crystaline fractals that seems to go on forever, and an elegantly-crafted structure reminiscent of an Ancient Greek temple floating in a vast empty void, housing things of order and structure along with (occasionally) one of his other forms.
History: Oballa is
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 2
Ultimate Bio: Ragh-neh-Roc
Name: Ragh-Ne-Rok, Ragh-nehroch, Ragnerock, etc. (The pronounciation is more important, and thus more consistent, than the exact spelling.)
Titles and Aliases: The Gray, Ambiguity, The Balance, Betweener, Mediator, etc.
Goals: To maintain balance between Order and Chaos, and to help Oballa and Koten come to some sort of agreement on a course of action.
Associated Colors: Steel blue, Orange.
Associated Elements: Wind, Smoke, Vapor, and Ice.
Positive Attributes: Caring and intuitive, more prone to considering things rationally than either of her brothers, and usually comes up with the best overall solution.  
Flaws: Often passive and timid, allowing her brothers to go over her head unimpeded and make decisions without her consent, leading to squabbles that later need to be resolved by her.
Common/Preferred Forms: A sentient cloud or whirlwind of smoke/fog, a female humanoid with blue skin clothed in dark clouds or fog, an amorphous and constantly-shifting mass of glowing orange orbs
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 1 0
Ultimate Bio: Koten
Name: Koten
Titles and Aliases: The Murk, Chaos, Ol' Daddy Random, Entropy, The Crooked Alley, The Grinning Derelict, etc.
Goals: His methods are not a means to an end. The means is the end as far as he is concerned. Fishwaffle.
Associated Colors: Purple, Black.
Associated Elements: Water, Darkness, Earth.
Positive Attributes: Completely non-judgmental, never holding a grudge or expecting his orders to be followed, instead encouraging anyone he meets to do whatever they want. Values freedom. Can sometimes be pretty funny.
Flaws: Extremely capricious and unstable, just as likely to kill you as he is to grant you immortality. Rejects structure and order, which will often cause reality to glitch out around him whenever he appears. Can sometimes be downright childish.
Common/Preferred Forms: A black, feculent sludge that is hot and sticky to the touch (like molten tar) and leaves behind a cold and slippery trail wherever it slithers, a black-haired homeless male of indeterminate ethnicity
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 0
Vatican Knight: The Ballad of The Church's Vampire


 She always wondered why they tended to choose cities.
  They smelled awful, the sounds were often deafening, and they were high-profile areas. The concentration of food was barely worth it, especially since they didn't need that much blood to survive. Wouldn't surviving in the countryside be far better than creeping around trash and smog-scented streets, supping on the homeless and drunk club-goers, lit by neon signs and arc-sodium street lamps, waiting for a hunter to take you out?
  She now knew the reason, of course: Cities were easy to hide in. The numerous buildings provided places to escape the sunlight, and the smells made it impossible for her to track them. If they were smart, they could fly under her radar indefinitely. This one wasn't smart, however. This one was insane. Insane and dangerous. Now she was on his trail, and she was going to make him pay.
  The target was a Reader-type vampire name
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 1 0
Character Bio: Nehshiiabon
"That's a good little doggy, ain't he?" -Johnathan
Name: Nehshiiabon
Aliases: The Little King, Doggy, The General, Koten's Afterthought, Ugly Motherfucker, Rage, The Quaking Earth, Priest of The Murk, Sycophant, The Unfavorite, etc.
Species: God.  
Age: 6.7 billion years old.
Sex: Male.  
Gender: Male.
Powers: Super strength and speed, shapeshifting, durability, planetary manipulation (weather control, earthquake generation, gravity alteration, etc.), minor regeneration, teleportation, and Corruption.
Appearance: A bestial humanoid with long hair, claws, curved horns, a tail, and a hideous face.
Personality: Sullen and mercurial, prone to mood swings (typically rage and mania) and violent outbursts. Gravitates towards positions of political power.
Desires/Goals: Aside from serving his father faithfully, very little is known about his motivation.
Interests/Hobbies: Taking control of nations and watching them tear each other apart via Corruption, inflicting pain on those weaker
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 0
Crossed: Impale by crookedalley
Mature content
Crossed: Impale :iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 0
Allow me to elucidate upon who I am and what my nature entails...
I am the stranger that stares hungrily at you from the dark corner of a smoky barroom.
I am the rapist who taunts you with a grin from the witness stand.
I am the one who always fires the first round, turning a peaceful protest into a bloodbath.
I shot JFK. I assassinated Lincoln.
I committed Sandy Hook, the Boston Marathon Bombings, and 9/11.
I am every serial killer. Every terrorist and zealot.
I am Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, and Kim Jong-un.
I'm the first murderer. I will probably be the last.
My methods are always brutal. My goals always reprehensible.
I am the voice in the back of your head, the one that tells you to take. To rend. To kill and hurt.
I am all of your bad habits, all of your prejudices. I am every sick perversion that you repress.
When you first realized that you could hurt another living thing, that pleasurably-cold and empty sensation inside of you was my smile.
When you first exerted your d
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 1
You've Got An Enemy (Toy Story parody)
You've got an enemy.
You've got an enemy.
When the road looks bright ahead
And you're safe and snug in your nice, warm bed.
You just remember what your nemesis said:
Boy, you've got an enemy.
Yeah, you've got an enemy!
You've got an enemy.
You've got an enemy.
You got troubles.
And I'm glad you do.
There isn't anything I wouldn't do to you.
Hatred forever, yes this hate is true.
Cause you've got an enemy.
You've got an enemy!
Now some other foes might be a little bit darker than I am.
Ruthless and cunning too.
But none of them will ever hate you the way I do.
It's me and you, boy.
And the years go by...
That hatred will NEVER die.
You're gonna see it's our DESTINY!
You've got an enemy.
You've got an enemy.
You've got an ENEMY!
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 4
A Letter Nobody Will Read
I don't know if anyone is left alive to read this. If you are reading this, then that means I'm dead.
My name is Robert Parker. I am 28 years old. I live alone in an apartment in New York. My parents are dead. My friends and family are dead. At least I hope they are. I hope they died quickly, and I hope they didn't turn into more of those things.
When the outbreak was first reported in Florida, I thought it was a joke. Most shit like that is. "Zombies rampage through Tampa" that kind of stuff. It was only online, so I didn't take it that seriously. Then it started showing up on television. Reports of homicide, cannibalism, and rioting in the Southeast. Over the course of a few weeks, it qickly spread. The CDC said that the contagion wasn't airborne or waterborne, but still the rate of infected continued to climb. The disease continued to spread.
It induced a form of Wendigo psychosis, an overwhelming desire to consume human flesh, in addition to heightened aggression. The infected are
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 0
Character Bio: Purple Pervert
"And when he spoke, I could hear the screams of children as they were flayed alive. When his cold, purple gaze fell on me... I knew that there was nothing about this creature that I would ever understand, only fear and hate." -Walter K.
Name: Unpronouncable by the human tongue, rendered by the brain as a type of screeching white noise similar to static and feedback.
Aliases: The Purple Pervert, PP, The Bad Seed, Mister Europa, Skinner Kane, The Miracle Monster, Lord of the Worm, Baznehial, Yegundkmah, The Laughing Voice, etc.
Species: God.  
Age: Ageless.
Sex: Androgynous.  
Gender: Male.
Powers: Reality warping, possession, and immortality.
Appearance: Indescribably horrifying and non-corporeal.
Personality: Jovial and sadistic, prone to things like cracking lighthearted jokes while peeling off a victim's skin or making small talk while slaughtering entire families.
Desires/Goals: Causing pain and misery, corrupting the innocent and defiling the weak, and manipulating people
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 0
The Hospital
  The ending began with a critically-injured man being rushed into the ER at Golden Dove medical center in Elwood, Georgia. He was covered in lacerations, it appeared as if he had been flayed at several points by an incompetent surgeon, both of his legs were broken and twisted at unnatural angles, and his eyes were gouged out. Somehow the poor bastard was not only still alive, but still lively enough to scream. Bill Durham, the chief surgeon at Golden Dove, instructed his nurses to anesthetize the man. It took twice the normal dosage to get him to stop flailing. He still remained conscious.
  As the man laid there, breathing heavily and rambling incoherently, Bill Durham recognized him as Ollie Stephens, though he usually went by the name "Scooter". Scooter lived in a trailer nearby the woods on the East side of town, receiving a welfare check and food stamps each month due to injuring his back on the job back when he worked as a bricklayer. He often supplemented his meager i
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 1 0
Mature content
Torture Idea for Creative Serial Killers #1 :iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 2 11
Cold Water
David stood in terror. He was naked, vulnerable. He had nowhere to run to, no weapons to fight with, and nowhere to hide. He thought to himself, repeatedly: This is the worst way to die! Please, God! Anything but THIS!  He shivered from the cold. He had been in the shower for over two days.
The creature sat on the other side of the curtain.
It meant to kill him.
When he first felt the presence of the thing, marked by sickness and paranoia, he initially tried to write it off as some sort of reaction to the spice he had smoked. That synthetic shit was toxic, but he did it anyway to get around the random drug tests his boss was suddenly into ever since she caught her teenage son smoking pot and the little shit told her that “some guy” at the diner sold it to him. That had been thirty-six hours ago. He came down quick when he could smell the thing breathing, a scent like rotten meat pushed forward by a hot wind.
He stood in the shower for a while after that, trying
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 0 0
Last Meal
Lawrence Russel Brewer was a Texan white supremacist who, along with three of his friends, was tried and convicted for the 1998 murder of African-American James Byrd, Jr. and sentenced to death row. On September 21st, 2011, Brewer was executed by lethal injection. He expressed no remorse for his crime, and stated he would do it all over again if he could. Make no mistake, this man was a monster in virtually every sense of the word. In all likelihood, he deserved to die, and his death was probably too quick and painless to be honest. However, that isn't the point of this little story you're reading.
The point, rather, has to do with Brewer's last meal request...
Shortly before his execution, Lawrence Russel Brewer was given a choice of what his last meal would be, as is customary in many US prison systems when executing inmates. Brewer's last meal request was a veritable feast: Two chicken fried steaks smothered in gravy with sliced onions, a triple meat bacon cheeseburger with fixings
:iconcrookedalley:crookedalley 1 0
Welcome to my mind. Relax, take your shoes off, help yourself to some hot coffee, and come sit next to me.

In this dark corner, over here....


Stamp Tutorial by SparkLum Stamp Tutorial :iconsparklum:SparkLum 2,200 303 A RadBrad Fan Stamp by Lostloveartist87 A RadBrad Fan Stamp :iconlostloveartist87:Lostloveartist87 39 7 Walk Into The Darkness by JTHMFrAeK
Mature content
Walk Into The Darkness :iconjthmfraek:JTHMFrAeK 8 17
Blocking by OurHandOfSorrow Blocking :iconourhandofsorrow:OurHandOfSorrow 222 132 Walk Into the Darkness sketch by JTHMFrAeK
Mature content
Walk Into the Darkness sketch :iconjthmfraek:JTHMFrAeK 4 18
An All Sexuality Pride Parade by endler An All Sexuality Pride Parade :iconendler:endler 103 30 A drawing by Choark
Mature content
A drawing :iconchoark:Choark 11 6
Nudity does not burn MY eyes. by ZeroGravityCroquet Nudity does not burn MY eyes. :iconzerogravitycroquet:ZeroGravityCroquet 26 43 Blame god by Haters-Gonna-Hate-Me Blame god :iconhaters-gonna-hate-me:Haters-Gonna-Hate-Me 91 122 I Listen To RAP Stamp by Hide-N-Seek-Kyoto I Listen To RAP Stamp :iconhide-n-seek-kyoto:Hide-N-Seek-Kyoto 21 3 Judging Art Stamp by FearlessLullaby Judging Art Stamp :iconfearlesslullaby:FearlessLullaby 272 111
crookedalley tag time
    Clickety, clackety. Rustle, rustle, boom. The reverberations from puny attacks on iron and stone around him was starting to get annoying. It had never been this noisy, before. Shit was sure getting bad out there. He was smart to hole himself up in here after the Collapse. Where there had once been a half-decent society, there was now only desert wastelands, horrible mutants, and murderous Survivors. Such as himself, though he wouldn't enjoy it as much as some. But even now, the splinter rifle in the corner sang his name in a metallic tune. Maybe just one time up. Shoot some bastards, nab a dog-worm or two. I'td be fun and God knows he needs a break. Something to temporarily liberate him from his dim existence in this cluttered hole of jerky and booze rations, beeping computer sensors (one of which still had an operating copy of Portal 3), and a cot with mangled old sheets. And of course, all the pot was gone. Fuuuuuuck...
    The world turns
:iconrainbowchewynuggets:rainbowchewynuggets 1 7
Stamp: Free Country by 8manderz8 Stamp: Free Country :icon8manderz8:8manderz8 48 23 Bullet by pandabearbam Bullet :iconpandabearbam:pandabearbam 135 26 Stamp: Fries by Shaudnly Stamp: Fries :iconshaudnly:Shaudnly 1,061 68 Misotheism by propertyofkat Misotheism :iconpropertyofkat:propertyofkat 6 35


I think I might adapt all of my comics into stories, seeing as how I haven't had the desire (or the means) to draw anything in a long time and have taken up writing excessively to fill the void.

What do you guys think?
  • Listening to: Some dumbass cop show
  • Reading: Old Tumblr posts
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: King Cobra


crookedalley's Profile Picture
Chubby Chuck Jim.
United States
My name is Crooked Chuck Jim. Also known around the internet and in real life as Crookedalley, Crooked, AlleyScum, Alley Rat, Crookedalleyscumbag, Ometta7, Ometta6, Fatty, Fat Fuck, "That Weird Neighbor Kid Who Keeps Standing Shirtless on The Front Porch and Muttering To Himself", The God of Man, and The Bard of Insanity.

I am, as of the time of this update, twenty-four years old. Somehow, I feel like I shouldn't have survived that long, but there you have it.

I drink and do drugs as frequently as I can because it's boring as shit here. My favorite drug is weed. I also like somas. I've done many dumb things to try and catch a buzz. I've huffed gasoline and paint, I've drank cough syrup, I've taken strange pills, I even tried eating a bunch of nutmeg. I would recommend just sticking with marijuana. Cleaner, safer, and more reliable. It's cheap, too.

As far as my moral and political views go, I believe that all individuals have the right to do whatever they please with their bodies so long as they aren't hurting other people.

I believe drugs and prostitution should be decriminalized on a federal level, drugs heavily taxed and prostitutes be allowed to unionize and have their individual rights protected.

I am against strict gun control, pro welfare and other social services, against the death penalty, and for the legalization of marriage between any consenting adults(this includes polygamous and incestuous marriage as well as gay marriage). I think that we should follow Europe and Canada's example on healthcare and just let everybody have access to it.

I believe in more leniency in taxing those below the poverty line and higher taxes for the wealthy. I believe in researching alternative sources of fuel and just generally putting a lot of money in science and discovery as opposed to military power, but I also believe that a strong show of military strength is necessary.

I believe in equal rights between men and women. I do not refer to myself as a feminist or a masculist because I feel that both movements by design place one gender at a higher priority over the other, thereby perpetuating the gender divide which leads to discrimination in the first place. My views on gender equality extend to my treatment of both men and women in my daily life. If you are a woman and you do not wish for me to hit you for the same reasons that I would hit a man, then that is acceptable. Do not be surprised when I slap your ass and tell you to make me a sandwich, however.

I identify as bisexual, although I suppose my sexuality is more technically defined as pansexual. I am attracted to pretty much every set of genitalia a human can have.

I smoke menthol cigarettes and have been smoking since I was about fourteen. I keep saying I'll quit, but that's unlikely.

My appearance could be pretty well summed up as "unkempt" or "grungy" bordering on "feral". I have long hair that I rarely ever brush anymore, I don't trim my facial or body hair, I shower maybe once a week at best, my teeth haven't seen a toothbrush in the last two years, and I only clip my fingernails and toenails when they start breaking. I'm covered in oozing sores and cysts that I pick at when I'm nervous or agitated.

I'm delusional and suffer from mood swings, I'm depressed a lot of the time and a few good friends away from being suicidal. I am occasionally struck by severe paranoia and sometimes have the odd mental breakdown or two. I have been to numerous therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and general head-examiners since I was five years old for various problems. Nobody has given me a straight answer, and speculation has ranged from me having bipolar disorder with psychotic features, to one or more personality disorders, to falling somewhere on the autism spectrum, to just being a normal(if a bit emotional and dramatic) young man. I'll let you decide what's wrong with me.

I'm narcissistic and self-absorbed. I love talking about myself and hearing other people talking about me, whether good or bad. I also like trying to help other people with their problems. If something is bugging you or you feel like you need some help, please don't be afraid to come to me with anything you might need.

I love to draw, even though I'm not very good at it. I also like to write, which people tell me I am sort of good at, but I suffer from frequent writer's block and creative blocks in general. I often have trouble feeling motivated to draw, write, or do anything of the sort. So there will be long stretches where I don't submit anything, and then all of a sudden you might get anywhere from one drawing to a whole folder's worth of work in a single sitting showing up in your box.

I'm a Juggalo. (Yeah, I know. Just shut the hell up.) I'm also a (very) amateur horrorcore rapper going by the stage name Crooked Chuck in a group called Maniacal Crew. The group currently consists of myself, H-Manic, and a guy named Jesse or Opandaman. We sometimes shift members, however, with the core members being myself and H-Manic. Manic raps in a style reminiscent of modern gangsta rap with a few horrorcore and stoner rap influences. I am also dabbling in a rap/metal side project with death metal vocalist and guitarist Preston. The side group is called Ambrosial Ichor Drinkers. In addition to that(I need to format this better), I'm working with longtime friend Darion4488 on a concept album known as The City of Forever. It's doubtful that the album will ever be complete. Darion raps under the stage name Duke Samedi.

I am a fat ginger with blue eyes and freckles. My eyes and the shape of my face are probably the only things that keep me from looking hideous. In fact, if I took better care of my appearance, I'm pretty sure I would look like a very pretty man(or a pretty girl if I did my hair up and dressed in drag).

I'm getting bored, and I'm running out of shit to say, so I'ma stop for a while. If anything else comes to me, I'll add it. If you want to know anything special like my secret fetishes or how I wipe my ass, feel free to leave a comment. I'm just a regular asshole like any of you, and I just want to do my thing and let you do your thing, and if our things touch...well, we'll see where it goes from there, m'kay?

Have a nice day.


Add a Comment:
Generalorder4 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2019  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday! :D :w00t!: :dance: :cake: :boogie: :party: 
Slurch Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2019
Long time no see Chucky!  How have you been?
Generalorder4 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happy and Many Returns! :D :w00t!: :dance: :cake: :boogie: :party: 
Generalorder4 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Many Happy Returns! :D :w00t!: :dance: :cake: :boogie: :party:
crookedalley Featured By Owner May 3, 2017
Generalorder4 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday! :D :w00t!: :dance: :party:
crookedalley Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2016
fietdapowah Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday ^^
Add a Comment: