Believe it or not, you have - I think even the simplest of thanks from the most lovely and pure of sources is really the greatest of things
It's rare that I read poetry and find that it resonates much with me, at all - normally I can appreciate the mood and imagery, the word-usage and the craft but I often find myself spectacularly at-odds with the content - perspectives I can't abide, methods and modes I would never indulge in and, generally, weakness given excuses. You are something else entirely and it's so beautiful, so amazingly loaded and pleasantly palatable for its familiarity, honesty and inherent introspective goodness - even if it's not always about good things. You are a delight and I love you
It's hard to blame you - in fact, it's impossible to blame you because I not only understand, but I quite agree and if it weren't for my annoyingly stoic nature and tendency to follow-through, I'd do the same... and in some ways, I already do. I don't believe in endless chances and I want things to be done "properly" and to make sense - I expect people to be brave, I want them to be forthright and I constantly hold them accountable when they're not and, as you can imagine... it does me no favors
So for me, too, there is a point where I become something of a wall - they're welcome to climb it, but I'll be damned if I'm letting them in without the struggle they've earned. This is the end of the line for essentially everyone - I find I am *not* worth that sort of effort
And that's a terrible thing!
I wish you didn't know what that felt like! It's one of the few things out there that make me bristle (internally) and actually hurt me - when someone casually, emptily and, without any real appreciation for what it means, tells me that I deserve better
It goes to my core, particularly when it's someone who could *give* me better, but would rather not