CrazyNutBob

Yeah, we did one for Pixar too. Enjoy. :)

Toy Story

~ “Threatened by a potato.” “Aren't we all threatened by potatoes?”

~ The kids just set Buzz up perfectly and then left.

~ *gasp* “My ship!” “It’s made of cardboard!”

~ “We’re Andy’s Toys!” “Strange name for a people.”

~ We’ll forever question how Buzz didn’t figure out he’s a toy sooner.

~ Sid and his explosives must be a reason why Andy’s mom is glad to move.

~ “Woody, I think this is a cult.”

~ That claw machine has the best grip out of any of them.

~ He doesn’t even question why a cowboy is at Pizza Planet.

~ “It’s a hooker!” “...oh, it’s a hooker.”

~ “He’s watching bowling?” “No, he’s watching the back of his eyelids.” “Okay, so bowling’s on.” 

~ “It really solidifies it for him once he realizes he’s not bleeding to death.”

~ “You’d think they (Andy’s Toys) would realize that they (Woody and Buzz) are at Sid’s house, and that Sid most likely popped Buzz’s arm off.”

~ “He woke up and chose violence!”

~ “He still has the box.” “It’s a cool box.”

~ “Turbo?” “Turbo?” “Turbo?” “They went Turbo!”

~ Yeah, Mr. Potato Head deserves the abuse.

~ Apparently Andy just likes leaving the car's roof window open.

A Bug’s Life

~ So here we’ve got a dried up riverbed.

~ Every community has their local disaster of a person.

~ “Of course it all fell into the last puddle in the riverbed!” “It fell into another dimension!” “It might as well have!” “It went to the Monsters Inc. world.” “All the food falls onto Mike Wazowski.”

~ “They’re like the mafia!”

~ “‘Thumper’?!  What happened to you?!”

~ *the grasshoppers’ wings sounding like motorcycles as they fly* “Oh, they’re the mafia and a biker gang.”

~ “Oh, the queen’s got an aphid… keep it away from Francis.”

~ Build-A-Bird Workshop

~ “I wonder if this is set in New Mexico.”

~ REVOLUTIOOOOOOOON

~ “They’re really underutilizing their spider.”

~ “They’re underutilizing him too! He’s huge!”

~ *starts raining* “It’s a warzone!”

~ Running joke of the movie: “He dead.”

Toy Story 2

*Our brother A1 and his wife were around, but they didn’t watch the whole thing with us

~ “Oh, this movie opened with a bang.”

~ “How are some rocks floating and some not?” “Different kinds of rocks?” “...okay, so magnetism.”

~ “Did Woody ever think that he was the real Sheriff Woody?” “That condition must be exclusive to Buzz Lightyear.” “Or he (Woody) has amnesia.”

~ “He got all that from [animal noises].”

~ *Stinky Pete explains that Woody’s Roundup was canceled because of space toys* “I’m sure there’s more to it than just that.”

~ *to A1* “There’s the flag! Salute it!”

     A1-“I’m not in uniform.”

~ “Bullseye, you don’t know where his fingers have been! …aside from the cheese puff bowl.”

~ How is that Barbie floating

~ The Cleaner Scene is just so satisfying…

~ “In the first movie, a lot of these characters were unlikable, and this movie redeemed them.”

~ “I wonder how Zurg’s doing with the traffic.” “He’s just weaving through it.”

~ *during the When She Loved Me Sequence, sister-in-law walks in* “Run! It’s the scene that makes you cry!”

~ “He’ll be admired, but not loved.”

~ *as Stinky Pete is twisting the screw* “HELLOOOOOOO PLOT TWIST!”

~ “I’m surprised that he didn’t lose any of his parts.”

~ “Zurg just wanted to play catch with his son!” “Maybe the fall activated his fatherly instincts.”

~ “Pizza delivery guy is gonna see that his truck got stolen.”

~ “It’s the paparazzi!”

~ *sees the box marked Fragile* “Oh no, don’t do it!” *dude tosses it and we hear something shatter* “Oooooooooooh!”

~ “Holy cow, Bullseye!” “He’s fast!”

Monsters, Inc.

~ This opening kind of reminds me of 101 Dalmatians’ opening.

~ “Aww, they’re childhood friends.” “Just wait until the prequel ignores that.”

~ “What are all those little buildings?”

~ *A3 wonders aloud about work shifts based on time zones and how they work, since it’s always nighttime somewhere on Earth*

~ *laughing at how fast the CDA came swooping in over a sock*

~ “Oh, there must be more than one scare floor.” “That’s what all those little buildings were!”

~ “Oh, sure, when there’s a more serious situation, the FBI takes a while.”

~ “Good thing she’s potty trained.”

~ “YEE!”

~ SULLEY’S FACES DURING THE TRASH COMPACTOR SCENE

~ The only reason that they weren’t caught by Randall earlier is because he keeps getting interrupted by something.

~ “Right now he just wants to torture him.”

~ “Imagine what that could do to a child.”

~ “I don’t think he (Mike) knows how to handle children.”

~ “Okay, so I think that Randall came to him (Waternoose) with the proposal, and he was desperate enough to take it.”

~ RANDALL’S TOO POWERFUL

~ “That’s why the main building’s so big!”

~ “Meanwhile, Flik’s visiting the big city.”

~ “Why didn’t they shred that door? The mom’s got a shovel!” “They're lucky she didn't have a gun.”

~ “I think she cares about children.”

~ “Standup is a poor choice for making children laugh.”

Finding Nemo 

~ *Marlin going ‘Wow’ at the open ocean* “That’s exactly what the audience is thinking.”

~ “So this is the ocean version of living in a rural area.”

~ “This is like if his wife got eaten by a bear.” “A BEAR-ACUDA!”

~ We’ve officially dubbed Nemo as a six-year-old.

~ “Looks like he moved to the suburbs.”

~ “Whoa, stereotyping!”

~ “I’m obnoxious!” “Pffft, at least he’s honest.”

~ “This is like Alcoholics Anonymous.”

~ “Imagine being a dentist in the audience hearing all this.”

~ “I’m Jiminy Cricket now.”

~ “♪~I swam through a bubbly Ring of Fire…~♪”

~ “How does he (Crush) know that this is his son?” “He probably took a look at this kid and was like, ‘You are my child now, dude.’”

~ “It’s a good thing this didn’t turn into a game of Telephone.”

~ I think the whale was helping them out, even if there was a bit of a language barrier.

~ “I wonder what kind of whale this is.” “Blue.” “Okay.” “Pfft, how do you know that?” “Well, it’s blue.” “A4 was joking, and A2 just accepts it.” “Well, I oughta look up what kind of whales live near Australia.” “You can just check this movie’s wiki.”

~ “What if that thing had the same voice as Zurg?”

~ “‘We’ve almost been eaten how many times already?!’”

~ Feeling sorry for the sailor who’ll find seagulls stuck on his sail.

~ “That’s a mafia tactic!”

~ *A4 is disappointed that they didn’t put “FIN” instead of “The End”*

~ “So, how are they going to get out of the bags?” “Maybe Bloat can pop them?” “Are his spines sharp enough to puncture it?” “Hey, maybe Nigel can help them.” “Or the seagulls.” “...the seagulls will eat them.”

The Incredibles

~ “They finally got the hang of humans.” “It only took six movies.”

~ At least two of us used to think the suicidal guy was just doing a stunt for a movie.

~ “Bomb Voyage is such a good name.”

~ For some reason, that one lady in front at the end of that newsreel… we see her as a Super in hiding.

~ Bob’s boss is voiced by the same guy who voiced Rex, and we can’t unhear it.

~ “Oh, here it comes.” “This is my scene.”

“Coincidence? I THINK NOT!”

~ “Hi, Tony.” *remembering the blooper reel* “Hi, Tony.” “Hi, Tony.” “Hi, Tony.”

~ Criticizing the participation trophies here.

~ Pointing out that Frozone is pretty strong; Mr. Incredible is carrying more people for obvious reasons, but Frozone is still carrying three over his shoulder.

~ These are terrible police officers–they send one guy in who’s clearly a rookie.

~ “How many unspoken fat jokes?” “I wouldn’t say they’re ‘fat jokes’, more like ‘getting old and out of shape’ jokes.”

~ *wondering if the workers at the railyard that Bob works out at during the montage know that he is a Super and just keep quiet about it*

~ “Edna, you believe in polytheism?”

~ “I always thought that was orange julius.”

~ “That ship looks like a Manta Ray… ‘It flies, but it also goes underwater’. ‘...you’re getting a RAISE!’”

~ “The S stands for ‘Supreme’!” “Nooooo, it stands for ‘Sitter!’ Can’t do BS for babysitter!”

~ *noticing Helen briefly getting bitten by a mosquito* “Mmmm, stretchy blood.” *cue the hysterical laughter from all three of us*

~ “Dash’s boredom saved their lives.”

~ “You’d think that some government would have noticed this… this does take place during the Cold War.”

~ “Fire at will!” “Oh, the droid’s name is Will now?” “Will?” *we don’t use the name for the rest of the movie*

~ “Yaaaaay, he found his suit!”

~ “We need more Frozone.” “The sequel needed more of Frozone.” “The sequel needed more of everything!” “It gave us the raccoon.” “We didn’t want the raccoon!” “What raccoon?”

~ “♪~Listen to your heart, ‘cause it’s stuck in your chest, ‘til it gets punched out by your own claw~♪” “...by Mr. Incredible.”

~ “We’ve frozen all of Syndrome’s acids.”

~ A4 is repeatedly commenting on 70’s aesthetics throughout the movies…

…but this movie is set in the 60’s. 

Cars

~ “Best to not overthink it.” *we almost overthink it before reminding ourselves about halfway through the movie*

~ Why is Elvis Trailer so funny?

~ Did nobody see Chick hitting other racers?

~ Even if it wasn’t a tie, Lightning jumping the gun would have still been stupid.

~ “I like the King, he knows what he’s about.”

~ “Let’s make this dream sequence as stupid as possible!”

~ “I bet there’s a lot of pollution in this world.”

~ “Who farms the crops?” “I’d say tractors, but considering later…”

~ “That sequence makes me wanna go on a road trip.”

~ “And Wingo was his name-o!”

~ “Never race a train.” “I’m gonna do that now.” “No, you will lose!”

~ “I bet Tumblr ships those two (Sarge and Fillmore).”

~ “I never realized he was saying ‘tomato’ until recently.”

~ “I always thought [Flo and Ramone] were married.”

~ “I like the Sheriff, making sure Lightning does his job.”

~ “‘Eat your heart out’? Shouldn’t it be something else?” “Eat your, uh, battery out.”

~ Eh…. we’re not digging the Lightning/Sally romance. It would’ve been better just to focus on the friendships.

~ “Wait, [Flo and Ramone] are married! I thought I was imagining things!”

~ If the tractors are the cows, and the harvester thing is the bull, what’s the farmer?

~ “Where are the animals?! What do they use for fuel?!”

~ Characters sisters enjoy: the King, the Sheriff, and the Flo/Ramone couple.

~ “Just think of Frank and you’ll win.”

“Wow! You won the race in record time! How’d you do it?” 

“I just thought of Frank.” 

“Who’s Frank?” 

“You don’t wanna know.”

~ “Everything’s closed down… including hospitals.”

~ “There’s a plane fan at the car race.”

Ratatouille

~ “Sounds like a warzone.” “Sounds like a murder.”

~ “That lightning came fast.” “Weather’s funny like that.”

~ “Wait… they built boats?” “Well, they have to be prepared.” “How did these rats build boats???”

~ “Man, imagine her telling people about the rats.” “They’ll just dismiss her as a crazy old lady, as opposed to a regular person.” “Implying that old ladies are a different race.”

~ *somehow some old stereotype about white people not having knees was brought up*

~ The thought of the Pixar crew on the floor of a French kitchen so they can get an accurate rat’s eye view is hilarious.

~ “That restaurant would be in huge trouble if they found roasted rat in that dish.”

~ “Did you know that rats can’t vomit? His soup is so bad it achieved the impossible!”

~ “This kind of reminds me of Aladdin, like how he had a view of the palace.” “♪~Riff raff, street rat!~♪” 

~ “Rats have a bite force like an alligator.” “...would it feel similar to a guinea pig bite?” “Yeah, I think so.” “Okay, I’ve been bitten by a guinea pig…”

~ “It’s Ham!” “Ham?” “Yeah, when he yelled I recognized the voice!” “So he’s French Ham…”

~ “Symphony of crackle!” “Just like A3’s bones.”

~ “How are they playing music on–?!” “Just go with it.”

~ “Thank you crazy gun lady.” “Thank you terrible movie tropes!”

~ “He’s third-wheeling.” “He’s a training wheel!”

~ “Because the first time, it came back identified as... rodent hair.” “Remy is Gusteau’s son?!”

~ “The death theme is very strong here.”

~ “♪~You’re in a world of health code violations…~♪”

~ “Just like how Mother used to make it.”

WALL-E

~ "This is a fun way to start the movie.” “This is waaaaay beyond Yonkers." "Who's Barnaby?"

~ "Welcome to Garbage City."

~ “Okay, what if it was just the major cities, and it turns out the Amazon survived?”

~ Oh, he reminds me of Ariel. *sings snippets of Part of Your World*

~ Why is the plant in the fridge? How did it even survive in there?

~ “The egg has hatched.” “It hatched into another egg.” “So they’re Russian?”

~ *questioning if she’s meant to scout the whole planet, and suggesting she check the Amazon, that obviously has life*

~ “♪~Don’t worry… be trigger happy…~♪”

~ “Oh, the rain’s a good sign.”

~ "Me and my comatose girlfriend."

~ The Axiom’s population must have abysmal mental health rates.

~ “They don’t even take care of their children!” “An All-Day Care…”

~ “There’s a pool and nobody’s swimming in it…” “Yeah, that’s the only exercise they can do at this point.”

~ “They progressively get more animated.”

~ “♪~If I could turn back time…~♪”

~ “It kinda looks like they’re making fun of people who don’t read books.”

~ “This movie seems like environmentalist pandering, and is also going ‘Go out and live life! Touch grass!’” “Put down those screens every once in a while!”

~ “Oh, he’s going down the rabbit hole.”

~ “‘Our SAVIOR!’ ”

~ “That song is now their anthem.”

~ “Wait. He’s a CEO? I thought he was the president!” “He’s not the president… he’s the ruler of the world.” “‘Global CEO?!’ ” “It’s the ultimate monopoly.”

~ “But life is sustainable… the Amazon!”

~ “I’m going to have a kid and name her Mutiny.” “But he hates mutiny!”

~ “Did he just hiss?”

~ “He didn’t even hit the pool.”

~ “How do they not have bed sores?” “Maybe they do.”

~ “I’m going to have a kid and name him Manuel.”

~ “Wait, how did the animals come back?” “...the Amazon. ”

Up

~ “So many dogs.” “He’s like the opposite of a crazy cat lady.”

~ “The story of how they met is also the story of how she got him in the hospital.”

~ You don’t see many family movies starring an elderly person

~ Seeing the development around Carl’s house: RELATABLE

~ “It’s movies like this that made me know the snipe hunt was fake.” “Ah, so it tricked you into seeing the trick.”

~ The way that businessman just stares at him

~ “Can you imagine what they had to tell their boss?” “‘The house just up and floated away!’ ”

~ Every bird is now a snipe

~ “I don’t think he took the weather into account.”

~ Look at that, Russell is helping Carl cross something.

~ “He didn’t even think about how he’s going to live there–he wants to die there.”

~ “I can see why anyone would think that’s a boy–look how colorful she is!”

~ “ ‘I like you temporarily.’ ”

~ “This is the worst fight ever.” “Which also makes it the best fight ever.”

~ Muntz’s demise is a similar mode of horrific to Clayton’s (from Tarzan).

~ “I think that this is a story about letting go of the past; Charles Muntz couldn’t do that.”

~ “If Kevin is this colorful, what does the dad look like?”

~ “He’s still dirty!” “Must’ve looked at the time when they got back.” “And the calender.” “And Carl was like ‘You go on ahead, I need to park the blimp’.”

Toy Story 3

~ “95? Lightning McQueen’s a train now!”

~ “DEATH BY MONKEYS!” “My worst nightmare.”

~ “He has a last name?!”

~ “I’m not so sure about the Buzz-Jessie ship.”

~ Junk? Woody, Jessie, and Bullseye are worth millions!

~ “They got the old dog noises right.” “Yeah, he sounds exactly like Bailey.”

~ “They used his head in the last movie, and they use his tail in this one.”

~ *A3 is huffy because the other toys aren’t believing Woody even though he has no reason to lie*

~ “You’d think the staff would look through the toys and determine where they’d go.”

~ “This escape was relatively easy.”

~ They gotta have a crazy Buzz every movie.

~ “Woody was telling the truth!” *A3 throws a mini-tantrum* “They always do this!”

~ “Kill the monkey, kill the monkey!”

~ “Now there’s a horror movie concept.” “TORTILLA MAN.” “Tortilla Head.” “Mr. Tortilla Head.”

~ “Oh, he sucker punched a pigeon!”

~ “He’s staring up at the moon.” *SQUEAK* “ ‘Who interrupted my moon-staring?!’ ” *Woody and aliens are now gone* “ ‘Now I have to go stare at the moon somewhere else…’ ”

~ “Buzz, now’s not the time.” “I want to say ‘read the room’ but they’re not in a room… oh, read the situation!”

~ “He hit a baby!”

~ “It’s BUY N’ LARGE.” “Oh! Are we gonna get a Wall-E cameo? Give us a Wall-E cameo!”

~ “By the power of… friendship, Slinky managed to get down.”

~ “ ‘Oh, Sid will give us a ride home.’ ” “The moment he sees Woody he has flashbacks.”

~ “You’ll take care of him, won’t you?” “Until the next movie.” “It’s not canon.”

~ *Running joke throughout the movie about Ken being gay… but not gay*

Cars 2

~ “Driving into disaster.” “Heheheh, drive.”

~ “It must suck to be a boat in this world. You’re stuck in the water.”

~ “Oh, that’s not very stealthy.” “Spider-Car, Spider-Car, does whatever a Spider-Car does.” “Why doesn’t he get stuck on his own magnet wheels?”

~ Oh, look, we’ve got a Nazi with a combover here.

~ “He ruins the environment with his blood.”

~ Oh, look, the Incredimobiles! I want to see what that looks like.

~ “Why is he wearing glasses?”

~ “Is that guy from the first movie?” “Oh, yeah, it looks like he got a paint job.”

~ “Why are his teeth like that…”

~ “Oh! We have a death here!” “There’s been several deaths already.”

~ “They know karate?!” “CAR-ate!”

~ “I’m on McQueen’s side here.”

~ “Mater, you have mirrors!” “You’d think he’d realize that they are shooting at them.”

~ “Why haven’t they figured it out?!” “It would have been better if they figured it out right away and had to just keep doing the mission.”

~ “AUGH! What Cars could have been…”

~ “Oh, of course he’s a tricycle!”

~ “It must suck to be a train in this world.” “Yeah, you’re stuck on a rail.” “Got a one-track mind.”

~ “The Pope!” “The Popemobile!” “That brings up so many questions!” “Let’s not think about it, it’s just a joke.”

~ “I’m mad at Mater… I’m mad at the spies… mostly the spies…”

~ “I’m cheering for Carla, because her name stands for Car… and La....” “Which one?” “The turquoise one.”

~ “This is like showing off your guts.”

~ “CARLA NO!” *turns out she’s from Brazil* “BRAZIL?! NOOOOO!”

~ “Don’t you have flying gear?!”

~ “How did you not notice the helicopter?!”

~ “WHEN DID THEY INSTALL THESE?! AND WITHOUT HIM NOTICING?!”

~ “I hate his teeth.” “His mustache looks like a comb.”

~ “It’s not your fault, it’s the spies’ fault.” “It’s the American spy’s fault.” “No, it’s their [the Lemons] fault.”

~ “Okay, keep swearing.” “♪~JUST KEEP SWEARING, JUST KEEP SWEARING, just keep swearing, swearing, swearing, what do we do, we SWEAR, SWEAR~♪!”

~ “Oh, she flies!”

~ “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” “That’s what we’re saying!”

~ “Honestly, I guessed it was him.” “Ew, you’re showing his guts.”

~ “This should not be happening, he came to her with a bomb!”

~ “They are perfect for each other.” “NO THEY’RE NOT!”

~ “I guess they’re frenemies.”

~ “Maybe the open wheels is like being scantily clad?” “OH MY GOSH.” “Yeah, he’s racing in his underwear.” “WHY.”

~ “Oh, that entire thing didn’t count as a date?”

~ This movie was so excruciating it gave A3 a headache.

Brave 

~ “Y’all ready for 2% of action?” “In a movie that was marketed for its action.”

~ “Yeah, just let your child wander alone in the woods to be taken by the fae.”

~ “Brave of them to not kill off the father in the dramatic opening.”

~ “Hey! You’re not dead!”

~ “They probably did get away with murder.”

~ “What up, I'm a red tailed hawk and I'm not native heeeerrrreee!”

~ *Clan yells something about Macintosh* “Granny Smith!” “Honeycrisp!” “Gala!” “Red Delicious!”

~ “Heeeeey, corsets weren’t invented in this time period!” “If the dress is that tight, that means there’s a problem.” “She’s gonna die.”

~ “It isn’t Scotland without bagpipes! Or tartan!” “Gotta be stereotypical!” “KILTS!”

~ We pegged the big, blond, thick-accented mumbler as the best of the suitors.

~ *in regards to the doofy-looking suitor* “Oh, he’s feral.” “Maybe he did single-handedly defeat an entire armada.” “Yeah, they never expected that.”

~ “She never got all those carvings.”

~ “Basically sell your family for a spell.”

~ “Don’t forget your comfort tiara.”

~ “They invented the wampus cat!” *about a minute later* “They uninvented the wampus cat!”

~ “Heheheheheh, butts.”

 ~ “♪~It’s the circle of rocks~♪”

~ “It exploded.” “And somehow they’re okay.”

~ “Oh, here’s the 2% of action.” “Well, part of it.”

~ “She would have a heart attack, an aneurysm, and a stroke all at once.” “That means she’s dead.”

~ “Mend the rock bond.” “How?” *smash* “With the rock.”

~ “Dangerous free!”

~ “This is what the snow looks like in Scotland.”

~ “Weed.” “I believe the term is okra.”

~ “Steve Jobs? The Apple guy? …THAT'S WHY MACINTOSH IS IN THERE!”

~ “Oh, I never knew there was a post-credits scene.”

~ SHE DID GET THEM ALL

Monsters University

~ “Hey, I think I saw a monster from the first movie!” “How long has he been there?”

~ “They ruined Randall!”

~ “When you make a sequel, you should be required to rewatch the original over and over every day.”

~ The dean has a cool design.

~ “I’m Jimmy Sullivan.” “Jimmy?” “JIMMY!”

~ “They ruined Sully!”

~ “Love the beak dude.”

~ Wouldn’t a scaring assistant be part of the Scaring program?

~ *A4 keeps gushing over Squishy’s cuteness*

~ “He looks like a rejected Muppet.” “He totally does drugs.” “Oh yeah, he's a hippie.”

~ “Is that a Princess Bride reference?”

~ “♪~We just got a let-ter, we just got a let-ter, we just got a let-ter, I wonder who it’s from?~♪”

~ “A cute little Jimmy hat for Jimmy.” “JIMMY!”

~ “When did they have the time to make all of these?” “Thanks, biology department.”

~ *Squishy takes an urchin down the throat* “That could’ve killed him.”

~ “He looks like the Lorax.” “He also looks like a spider head.” “Spider Lorax!”

~ “I love [Brock] so much, I'm gonna cry.”

~ “I love all the background characters, they're great.”

~ “Thanks for taking it easy on grandpa.” “Ooooooh, that's savage!”

~ In real life, a walking ball with one eye would be pretty scary, so it’s pretty hard to buy Mike being not scary.

~ “Oh, so adult screams are more powerful.” “Yeah, but the problem with adults is that they have guns.”

~ “And they never saw each other again…” “WAZOWSKI!” “What the–?!”

~ *seeing Waternoose’s younger… ‘hip’ look* “GAH!” “Cursed!” “He had an afro?!”

~ “Where’s Googly Bear?” “Wasn’t Mike Googly Bear?” “Oh, yeah.... where’s Schmoozi-Poo?!”

~ “Oh, hey, she still has her goth look.” “Still in that phase.” “‘It’s not a phase, Mom!’ ”

Inside Out

~ “I don’t think Joy would be her first emotion–the first thing babies do is cry.” “Uh… maybe it’s her temperament.”

~ You’d expect Disgust to make her spit the broccoli out.

~ “You would think a pizza place would have more options.” “Yeah, it’s not that hard to make a cheese pizza!”

~ “We’re dropping a nuuuuuke!”

~ “That’s it, go to your room!” “The nuke is dropped!”

~ “What kind of life did she lead before this?” “An adventurous one.”

~ “You don’t just… completely lose personality traits.”

~ “That is a terrible place for headquarters–right in the middle of the pit of forgetfulness!” “You drop an emotion in there, it’s gone forever.” “Oh no, I’ve lost my happiness!”

~ “Can you imagine death by abstract thought?”

~ “Why do the workers all look like jelly beans?” “I think they’re neurons.”

~ “Oh, no, the imaginary boyfriend.” “I would die for Riley!” “Oooh, that’s cringe.”

~ “Now this is what dreams are like!”

~ “If you can’t scare Fear, you’re not very good at your job.”

~ “Fear kinda looks like a Muppet.”

~ “That is a noisy prison.” “The clown ate Bing Bong and spit him back out, but in that cage.”

~ “Wow, that’s condescending.”

~ So, how did the news of Riley running away spread so fast?

~ Nobody seems to care that this eleven-year-old girl is walking around San Franscisco and taking a bus by herself.

~ “Forget it, Jake.  It’s Cloud Town.” “...that is obviously a reference, but I don’t know what it is!”

~ “I can’t believe the imaginary boyfriends came back.” “And they would all faceplant.”

~ “FOR RILEEEEEEEEEEEY!” “Oh, no, they’re being forgotten.” “The army of imaginary boyfriends.”

~ “For a while, I was confused over why Fear couldn’t remove the idea, but then I realized it needed guilt to be removed.” “I dunno, I think her chickening out would have worked.”

~ “FASHION ISLAND!” “You did that on purpose.”

The Good Dinosaur

~ “SPACE.” “That asteroid looks like a dinosaur head.” “Oh, oh, there goes dino head!”

~ “We are here in… I think it’s Wyoming.” “I wanna be in Wyoming.”

~ “The title implies that there should be a bad dinosaur too.”

~ *A3 rages over the dinosaurs’ farming methods*

~ “He’s gonna be little, isn’t he?”

~ “He can’t even handle the chickens, what makes you think he has the nerve to kill something?”

~ “Oh, he’s gonna be like Mufasa.”

~ “This killed his father, how’s he surviving this, but knocked out like that?” “See, we don’t know where his lungs are…” “Ah, he’s an airhead.”

~ “I know children killing bugs isn’t unusual, but… YIKES!”

~ “I bet his real name is a similar-sounding actual name, like Scott.”

~ “This is a reverse of ‘a boy and his…’” “...dog?” “Yeah, that kind of thing.”

~ “♪~It’s raining rodents! Hallelujah!~♪”

~ “What’s a hurricane doing in the Rockies?”

~ “Well, there’s our bad dinosaur.”

~ “This just turned into a Western.”

~ “Why are they running like that, it looks so goofy!”

~ “The rustlers are in the tall grass.” “Don’t go in the tall grass.” “No, go in the tall grass and go to the rock!”

~ “Can we keep the cowboy T-Rexes?”

~ “We ride at first light.” “Ride on what?!” “Their feet!”

~ “Now don’t you stop for nothin’!” “Except food!”

~ “It had a rough start, but the middle’s pretty good.”

~ “It’s a human person!” “I dunno, he seems kinda creepy.” “Stranger danger!”

~ “Sky shark.” “Lookout boy, sky shark gonna get you!” “Oh, there’s two… three… four… five!” “♪~Sky-ee Sharks, do-do do-do-do!~♪”

~ “Motivated by concussion vision.” “Ghost father compels you!”

~ “How’s that for a ‘relevation’?!”

~ This family sees this orphan child and decides to adopt him.

~ “Oh, they’re walking upright now.”

~ “It’s not the best, but I don’t see why everyone hates on it.” “It would be a lot better if it made better artistic choices. You have photorealistic backgrounds and goofy dinosaurs.”

Finding Dory

~ “The fact that they gave this fish a receding hairline is hilarious.”

~ “I like sand. Sand is squishy.” *snerk* “I know someone who would disagree.”

~ CTHULU!!! (Why I didn’t think ‘The Kraken’ first I have no idea)

~ “They could easily just jump out into the ocean.”

~ “How long have they been at this?”

~ “LOOOOONS!” “The Common Lo-OO-on.” “Becky is A4 as a bird.”

~ Imprinting - "How did you figure this out?"

~ “ ‘You are my child now.’ ”

~ “So mean to Gerald.”

~ “Marlin and Nemo aren't great as sideplots. They're obsessed with making Marlin wrong about everything.”

~ Apparently they didn't research loons.

~ Always conveniently placed water to land in.

~ You’d think someone would be concerned about that ‘baby’s’ lack of a parent.

~ “I find Hank more compelling than Dory here.”

~ The touch pools we’ve been to always urged us to be gentle.

~ Them needing to have explanations for some of Dory’s lovable quirks from the first film is kind of annoying.

~ “Awwwww, you guys made me ink!”

~ “You got us out of there.” “She got you in there in the first place.”

~ “Is that high-pitched Ham?”

~ “Your echolocation’s a freakin’ superpower.”

~ “This isn’t Finding Dory, it’s Finding Jenny and Charlie.”

~ “Oh, now we have to find them (Marlin and Nemo).” “Finding Nemo Part II.”

~ *Bailey uses echolocation to follow a truck* “Shouldn’t that only work underwater?!”

~ “They (the otters) just woke up and are ready for action.”

~ That’s not how anyone would react to a barricade of an otter cuddlepile.

~ “They didn’t do enough research.”

~ *Bailey loses track of the truck* “Some powerful pair of glasses.”

~ “With the first movie, I could suspend my disbelief, but this…”

~ “They failed me again!” “...how?” “They didn’t say FIN!”

Cars 3

~ “Where there’s Lightning, there’s bound to be… THUNDER! Ca-chigga! Ca-chigga!” “Not in this movie.”

~ Where did this guy come from?

~ “He looks like a kind of chewing gum.”

~ “Oh, he’s an emotionless racing machine.” “Nah, he’s got an emotion–it’s sour.”

~ “You were here for a short time, but I’m gonna miss you.”

~ “Hey, maybe tow trucks are this universe’s ambulances?” “You say Mater is an ambulance?” “...not a good one, but yeah.”

~ “I think primer’s like being naked.” “HE’S BEEN SITTING NAKED IN HIS GARAGE FOR MONTHS.”

~ HE WENT OUTSIDE NAKED

~ “They shrink-wrapped him!”

~ “ZUMBA! ZUMBA! ZUMBA!”

~ “Wait, is this equal to being naked?” “‘Why’d you take off my shoes?’”

~ “Can’t wait to see him race the bubblegum car, that’s pink and stuff.”

~ “She’s a lousy trainer. Heck, he is training her!”

~ “RUN FROM THE MANIC SCHOOL BUS!”

~ “This lady carries children to school.” “How do they fit inside?”

~ Sorry, we’re still on McQueen’s side, we’re not quite over Cruz treating him like an old man… and A3 smells a little ‘white privilege’ rant hidden in her sob story (partially because of her Hispanic name).

~ We’d like this movie if it leaned more into the Lightning-Doc Hudson thing, and less on Cruz Ramirez.

~ “Yes, lose your skin!”

~ “Hey, what flavor of gum is he, anyway?” “Spearmint?” “Nah, wintermint– spearmint is green.”

~ “I want Jackson Storm to lose, but I want him to lose to Lightning!”

~ “Not so ‘Certain’ now, huh?!”

~ “It’d be weird if Transformers landed on this Earth.”

~ Sorry, Lightning, blue is not your color.

~ “I JUST WANTED HIM TO WIN A RACE IN ONE OF THESE MOVIES!”

Coco

*with guest appearance, D

~ “Everything’s his (Ernesto’s) fault.”

~ “He had to reach for that rat poison.”

~ Dante is doing exactly what Bailey would do when caught eating something she shouldn’t.

~ “Yes… seize your moment.” “Begin your villain arc!”

~ “You know it’s good when we don’t have many quips.”

~ “It’s sad to see kids here.”

~ “Papaya!” “Okay, this is weird.”

~ “They are just avoiding the music onstage.” “The power of music compels you!” “Mama Imelda would kill them… again!”

~ “Wait… is this generational trauma?!” “Oh…” “Well, that wasn’t their intent, but I guess it is.” “They used this trope before it became a problem.”

~ “That’s one way to take a picture.”

~ “But he will listen to music!” “Welp, time for this corny trope.”

~ “Ooooh, the light’s green.” “*gasp* The evil color.”

~ “You’re lucky that picture isn’t wet!” “Guess it can’t get wet from spirit water.”

~ “Her little shoes…”

~ “Your Dante is evolving!” “He’s uglier than before.”

~ “Get ready for the SUPER BOWL! …wait.”

~ “It just got weirder.” “Papaya! Fire! Papa-paya! Papapire!”

~*nunchuck arms* “Oh, yeah we can do that thing!” “We couldn’t do this in life!”

~ “HOME RUN!”

~ “Does he have a phobia of bells?” “I don’t blame him.” “ ‘Oh, no, not again!’ ”

~ “Oh, look, they got musical hobbies too!”

Incredibles 2

*with guest appearance, D*

~ “That was the best part of the movie.”

~ “And he… robs a bank.”

~ “His plot in the video game was better.”

~ “What about the people under the bridge.” “They’re dead.”

~ “WE HAVE iNsUrAnCe!”

~ “ ‘He admired superheroes so much he cloned himself and made me!’ ”

~ “But, you know… ice. Stronger than one, stronger than ten, stronger than a hundred men!”

~ Getting real irritated with those not-so-subtle girl power messages, especially when they make the men look stupid, ugh.

~ Especially Evelyn’s comment about how if Elastigirl was dealing with the Underminer on her own, she’d have done a better job. No, she needed her husband’s help with the boiler, don’t oversell her and undersell him!

~ “You never told him you had a motorcycle? Not even during the last fifteen years of your marriage?”

~ Oh, the bike’s electric?

~ Wondering if the motorcycle splitting in two was really necessary.

~ “So much for your cool bike.” “How did it explode, it was electric!” “Even if it wasn’t electric it wouldn’t have that big of an explosion!”

~ “Here is where Mr. Incredible would have been more effective.”

~ Seriously, there still would be injuries thanks to whiplash from that collision.

~ “Why would you change math? That’s supposed to be a solid… thing.”

~ This scene is too slapstick-y.

~ “You have powers!” “Why didn’t you notice it sooner?” “They didn’t awaken at that point?” “No, they should have noticed right after the whole Syndrome thing.” “Yeah, this is like six months later or something.”

~ “Why did the raccoon come back?”

~ “I do not like Violet’s subplot.” “...yeah.” “Stupid boy troubles plot.”

~ “Get out of the sky! Touch down safely!” “We’ll try!” *imitates windblown cheek flapping noises*

~ “These superhero designs are awful.” “I kinda like that big guy.” “Which guy?” “The big black guy.” “The crusher dude?” “Yeah… I like his design.”

~ “How does she have blue hair in the 60s’?”

~ “Why does that guy look like a frog?”

~ “You know, I really wish they just picked one power and stuck with that.” “Yeah, he has too many powers.”

~ Screenslaver’s monologue could have had a point… if he didn’t shoehorn superheroes in as part of the problem of people watching screens instead of experiencing life. Feels like this speech is in the wrong movie.

~ “Ready for the epilepsy scene?”

~ “Sure, let’s see how a normal person will deal with Syndrome… oh, wait!”

~ “Why does this place remind me of a basketball court.”

~ “Baby Ex Machina.” “We have the most powerful thing here.”

~ Couldn’t help but laugh at how robotic our hypnotized heroes’ speeches are and how nobody notices.

~ “Aw, she loves her brother, she has that going for her.”

~ “An incredible disappointment.”

Toy Story 4

~ “Since when was her skirt fabric?” “Wasn’t it glass?”

~ It doesn’t feel within Bo Peep’s character to tempt Woody like that.

~ “Even Andy looks off.” “WHO IS THIS KID”

~ “I’m not a huge fan of Woody being given to her at the end of the last movie, since he’s a family heirloom, but that’s just me.”

~ “Oh, he’s not used to not being the leader.”

~ “Aren’t most kids excited to go to kindergarten?” “Usually it’s when Mom has to go that they get upset.”

~ “That kid has a cochlear implant.”

~ “I know kids can be mean, but not like that!”

~ “It’s a little too close to school to have a road trip.”

~ Forky’s not a toy, he’s a craft. What kid is that attached to a craft?

~ “Just let him throw himself away.”

~ “Did the reset in the last movie mess him up that much?”

~ “ ‘I’m trash, and I’m proud!’ ”

~ *we are seriously freaked out by the dummies*

~ GIVE ME YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS

~ “Woody, you are made of fabric, you won’t last a year.”

~ *suddenly, Bo Peep* “She shouldn’t be out here! She’s made of glass!” “I think it’s porcelain.” “Or china.” “Either way, she’s still fragile.” “China is porcelain.” “Oh.”

~ “Awwww, no! They girlbossed her!”

~ “Oh, hey, Combat Carl.”

~ “Why a skunk?” “People avoid skunks.” “But someone would still call animal control.”

~ “We just can’t have gentle and supportive female characters, can we?” “I like a good girlboss, but we need some gentle ones, too!”

~ How did they make a carnival a boring setting?

~ WHY DID THEY MAKE BUZZ SO DUMB

~ “I take one look at their faces and I immediately hate them.”

~ “He would’ve come up with that on his own!”

~ “You can tell they’re diversity hires.”

~ The Gabby Gabby stuff is surprisingly kind of sweet… aside from her wanting Woody’s voice box, that’s kind of sus.

~ “ ‘When in doubt, pinky out.’ ”

~ *Gabby Gabby’s cute little doll hand on the page… and then Forky’s pipe cleaner hand comes into frame to rest on hers* *this has us cracking up*

~ “How’d she flatten that tire?” “That tire deflated fast.” “Where’d she get that nail?”

~ “He’s dealt with worse.” “Sid’s dog was a monster… Sid was a monster!”

~ “Woody is not impulsive!”

~ “All your plans involve old lady murder!”

~ “He’s the guy who orchestrated that escape!” “From the tyrannical daycare!” “And it almost worked!” “If not for the bad guys beating up the toy phone!”

~ IT’S THE TIN TOY

~ “He’s the one who had the opportunity to go to a toy museum–and he rejected that for Andy!”

~ There’s several points where we recall a moment from the previous movies that this movie contradicts, like when he and Jessie swung from a plane on takeoff, but I can’t remember all of them, but, you get the idea.

~ “Yeah, if you want to assassinate your characters.” “Assassinate this! SNAKE ATTACK!” *A4 throws plush snake at the TV and it glitches when it hits; A4 runs away (she came back)*

~ *Gabby Gabby gets rejected by Harmony* “Okay, give him back his voice box.”

~ *Duke Kaboom tasked to do a big jump and he’s nervous* “You assume that I care.”

~ “No, really, a kid would love you with or without a voice box, give it back to him!”

~ *Woody gives Jessie his sheriff badge* “She barely did anything in this movie!”

~ “Somebody set these plush toys on fire!”

~ “Pipeline supervisor? You didn’t supervise enough! None of you supervised enough!”

~ “I’d rather watch Cars 2! At least that’s fun to make fun of!”

~ “This is how I feel about the Star Wars sequels! They miss the entire point!” “You know it’s bad when A3 is mad.”

~ Some small things work, but we really can’t ignore the character assassination, and Gabby Gabby doesn’t feel villainous enough.

~ Also, if you don’t love your toys enough, they will abandon you! Imagine that translated to real life, i.e. divorce. (A3 had this thought after the fact, just added it because it’s an interesting thought)

~ Overall, this movie makes us feel hollow inside.

Onward

~ “I don’t like that unicorns are raccoons now.”

~ Laurel’s cool and all, but she does seem to be a little too good of a mom.

~ LET THE BOY EAT

~ “You don’t have to completely change in one day.”

~ It was a convoluted birthday surprise all along.

~ “He already colored it?” “No, he picked it up off a table–there’s ‘Kayla’ in the corner.”

~ “Why did pixies forget how to fly?” “They have motorcycles.”

~ “I like how he still sits and tries to reach the steering wheel.”

~ If you can’t lie with this deception spell, then what’s the point?

~ “They said that magic was hard to master, but he’s been picking them up easily.”

~ “No, no, no, don’t talk about how valuable it is!”

~ “How did they get there before them?”

~ “If he had done that a little later, the cops would have been crushed.”

~ “Follow the ravens!”

~ “Mermaids!” “Wizards!” “...” “...” “You can see where our priorities lie.”

~ *Barley talks about asking his dad about his wizard title and names off a couple of examples* “A4 the Audacious!” “Orko the Great!”

~ “The Hall of Wizards…” “...I thought you said the Hall of Lizards and was thinking, ‘Those don’t look like lizards’.”

~ He’s willing to jump into a pit of spikes for Ian.

~ “I don’t like how he’s insulting him like that!” “He’s willing to jump in a pit for you!”

~ “Everyone is so hyped up about Frozen being about sisters–this is how you do a sibling story!”

~ “Hooray, you won!”

~ “It’s a curse…” “Red Mist! Everyone’s gonna die!”

~ “THE MONSTER IS HIGH SCHOOL”

~ It’s a good thing they went on the quest–if they hadn’t, they really wouldn’t have been prepared to fight the rock dragon!

~ “By the Power of Zumba!”

~ “...at least he got to say goodbye this time.” “Don’t ruin it.”

Soul

~ “This was played by a real junior high band.” “I was thinking it sounded like that.”

~ “Their noses are so big.” “It’s the art style!” “Yeah…” “...it would look better in 2D.”

~ “Oh, he’s getting lost in it.” “Oh, no, he’s going into Fantasia!”

~ “It’s like a bug zapper.”

~ “They could have given him a better death than falling in a manhole.” “Like what, getting hit by a truck?”

~ “I miss his nose.” “The one you were making fun of earlier?”

~ *sisters disagree on whether Terry is male or female*

~ “IT’S FANTASIA!”

~ “I don’t think he should be able to be in the wrong body.”

~ “Well, he just had a brief out-of-body experience.”

~ “Why is it always the heart print underwear?”

~ “I don’t think 22 is cut out for city life. She’s better in those still moments.” “Yeah, she needs to live in the country, living the good life.”

~ “She just changes her mind on a whim.” “Poor Robert. ‘I took an hour to get here!’”

~ “Oh, that’s a realistic photo.” “Wonder if it’s based on an actual picture someone had.”

~ “The sweat! The perspiration!” “The animation!”

~ “He had those in his pocket.” “The bagel.” “Pizza crust.” “There are crumbs in the pocket. That’s his father’s suit!”

~ “Is his body still playing piano during all of this?” “I think he’s just zoned out.”

~ “I hope you live in the countryside!”

~ “You don’t have to go to the bug zapper.”

Luca

~ Little underwater shepherd boy living in an underwater farming community

~ “Reminds me of The Little Mermaid.”

~ “Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat…”

~ “...shades of Mother Gothel.”

~ “Is this what air feels like?” “It’s disgusting.”

~ “Put one foot in front of the otheeeeeer…”

~ “Wow, that was hard to watch.” “And yet you watched it.”

~ “You’ve got a Bruno in your head.” “We don’t talk about Bruno.”

~ “I think it would be better for him to go to the surface with his grandma, you know, someone who knows what she’s doing.”

~ “I don’t think he’d survive the pressure.” “Literally and metaphorically.”

~ “Hey, free ice cream!”

~ “He reminds me of the dad from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.”

~ “Oh, no, this is gonna make me crave pasta.”

~ The “bottom feeder with two sad little whiskers” line is such a burn and we love it

~ “I don’t know why, but Giulia seems like a Peanuts character.”

~ “Wow, that’s a really good telescope!” “Old Man (something) sold his soul for that telescope.”

~ “He’s a sad, strange little man.”

~ “He’s being eaten alive!”

~ “Of course there’s a ‘Mamma Mia’.”

~ “She toppled the evil empire!”

~ *two old ladies reveal themselves to be sea monsters, and their friends tear a poster in half* “Those ladies are like, ‘Oh, we’ve known them a long time, so…’ ”

~ *the ending says ‘Fine’* “See? They know what’s up!” “Everything is just fine.”

Turning Red

~ Dad was watching with us for the first act, but when a certain kind of female issue was alluded to, he realized he wasn’t the target audience and left.

~ “This is the kind of teen gushing that I just didn’t get.”

~ “I take one look at 4*Town’s designs, and I hate them.”

~ “That was an overreaction.”

~ “She doesn’t like the white one, but the other two are okay because they're Asian.”

~ “LADY. GO THROUGH THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE. Do you have no sense of… of… privacy?!”

~ “ACK! Get away, you merman!”

~ Miriam is the best of the three friends, the other two are just gimmicks.

~ Mei’s Dad = MVP

~ “Tyler deserved an apology.”

~ “She’s like freaking Godzilla!”

~ “How many people just died?” “About five. They were just preteens.”

~ “I wonder how they convinced 4*Town to sing along.”

~ “Wait, those kids are still here? You should have gone home!” “Why go home when there’s something cool happening?”

~ The rest of the movie is… eh… but that scene in the astral plane was alright.

~ This has so much early teen cringe that A2 just went numb.

Lightyear

~ *this movie claims to be Andy’s favorite movie* “No, this is the crappy reboot.”

~ “Did they clone him?” “No, it’s a cryo chamber.”

~ Very common phrase in this watch: “Ooooh, he said the thing!”

~ “He’s so whiny.” “Come on, be professional!”

~ “Why does this remind me of a bar?” “Pass me a cold one, boys.”

~ “Are the plants gonna be a running gag?” “They already are.”

~ “They really should have taken the time dilation into consideration.”

~ “I do not like this cat.”

~ “Why is he eating the meat with his hands?” “Don’t you?” “Not unless it’s popcorn chicken! …or bacon!” “It’s spam!” “Spam spam spam spam, spamity-spam, spamity-spaaaaaaam!”

~ “She’s pregnant?! How?!” “I think it was an artificial thing, where they have a donation from a male…” “It’s still weird!”

~ “I know they’re trying to be emotional… but I don’t care.”

~ “Mixin’ up a drink.”

~ *ZAP Patrol runs in* “Oh, yeah, that’s hot!” “Wait, what?!”

~ “23-19! WE HAVE A 23-19!”

~ “Did audiences check out at this point?” “I know I’m ready to go.” “I’m sure some people were still curious about what happened next.”

~ “I think the Buzz Lightyear toy should have been based on a cartoon.” “That’s how it used to be.”

~ “Why’s he trying to kill his past self?”

~ “The cat’s the most competent one here!”

~ “Even that robot is useless.”

~ “Why is the way that robot’s walking so funny?”

~ “This whole thing about her being a Hawthorne but not her grandma is her character arc, isn’t it?”

~  “Meat sandwich? Ew…” “There’s a reason we have the bread on the outside.” “What kind of smooth brain came up with this?”

~ “It’s like they’re T-Posing.”

~ “So he’s gonna yell at her, everyone’s sad, and then they make up…”

~ “So, how did he screw up?” “Didn’t listen to the autopilot… crashed into the mountain…”

~ “I don’t like this time paradox thing.”

~ “I don’t think he had the character progression to justify this.” “Does anyone have any character around here?”

~ “We haven’t seen many aliens, just those bugs.” “And the plants.” “Yeah… we need more aliens, like the little green men– ‘You have saved our lives, we are eternally grateful’.”

~ “Is this the part where they reveal the wings?” “Nope.” *a few minutes later, when Buzz ejects from his craft* “There it is!”

~ “It’s been 22 years and he’s still mad.”

~ “Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap!”

~ It’s not the crime against humanity that Toy Story 4 was… it’s a misdemeanor.

Elemental

~ LITTLE BABY FLAME

~ “He’s doing the dad thing of walking around in his underwear.”

~ “He kinda looks like Osmosis Jones… well, the white blood cells in that series…”

~ “Did he just eat his opponents?”

~ “How does water die?” “You’ll find out.”

~ “Could he just pop his eyes inside his body and look around in there?”

~ *ranting about the repair crew refusing to do their jobs because they don’t like Wade, and a civilian had to do a patch job*

~ “They glow!” “She glows.”

~ *Sun setting on the beach* “Oh! Oh! Look, it's symbolic!” *Sun touches the ocean’s    horizon* “(whispers) They’re kissing.”

~ “Honestly, I find the crying kind of annoying.” “Hahahaha, it’s gonna get worse!”

~ *it indeed got worse with the crying game, much to A2’s annoyance*

~ “This is a water apartment, what did you expect?!”

~ “There aren’t any major earth or air characters.”

~ “Finally, they can dance!”

~ “It hasn’t even been a day, and the glass is cracking!”

~ *Wade evaporates* “Does that answer your question?” “Okay.” *sisters crack up laughing*

~ *Ember cries about how it’s all her fault* “No, it’s the city’s fault!”

~ *Wade’s face appears in the pot as he revives* “Okay, that’s creepy.”

~ “They didn’t need to show the kiss three times.”

~ “There’s still the question of how water dies.”

~ “Maybe the city repaired that thing.” “They better have.”

~ We might like the fire family dynamic a little more than the romance.

Well, I don't know what happened, I just ended up posting this almost a month later for some reason... for goodness' sake, I had these on hand along with the rest (this marathon was done back in 2020-21 after all), I have no excuse.

Anyway, I consider these movies a separate era from those in the last post, since these movies give me and the sisters mixed feelings at best. Not sure what I'd name this era, but there's no way you can convince me they're part of the Revival.

Anyway...

Ralph Breaks the Internet

*with special guest, our sister-in-law, T1

~ “Ralph, go to work… go to work… no, no, no, wait until after the arcade’s closed!”
~ “I sure hope Felix isn’t getting any quarters right now.”
~ Imagine a short about Gene and Sour Bill being roommates.
~ “Going from zero to fifteen real quick.”
~ (Felix drinking root beer) “That’s A3 watching this movie.” “...yeah.”
~ “I’ll cover for you!” “How?! Do you have a spare Ralph stashed somewhere?!” “Maybe he got the kids to do it while holding up a cardboard cutout of Ralph.”
~ What if this movie was about the Sugar Rush racers invading the internet?
~ “I wonder if Vanellope just needed a vacation.”
~ “Ugh, I don’t like this Shank lady, she’s too perfect.”
~ eBoy’s just trying to make up for the lack of Fix-It Felix.
~ “These videos are running on nostalgia.” “They’re likely going to give the game a lot of attention.” “Oh, poor Felix.”
~ “Sooooo… do those people think the videos are animations…?”
~ Ralph’s obsession with Vanellope is creepy…
~ Not gonna lie, we were actually kind of offended when Vanellope was like “Barf!” over cartoons.
~ “Yeeesssss, kill her!” “You are so mean!”
~ “Why did they make Mulan aloof?” “Because she’s the cOoL one who fought in a war!”
~ What they did with Merida here is a jerk move.
~ Okay, but, the 'singing around important water' thing only applies to less than half the princesses.
~ At this point, Disney making fun of itself is getting obnoxious and we’re tired of meta humor, subvert expectations by being completely earnest for once!
~ Vanellope’s sudden obsession with Slaughter Race feels less like a legitimate dream and more like a kid’s random interest of the month.
~ And now Vanellope's a terrible person!
~ “This looks like a guy finding out his girlfriend’s cheating on him.”
~ “I wish Calhoun was here to smack some sense into him.”
~ *sees the virus* “He’s adorable!”
~ “Wait, how’d she get there so fast?” “Magical song number transported her.”
~ “I’m just one of sixteen racers!” “Oh? ...‘Vanellope’s my favorite!’”
~ “A friend wouldn’t do what you did!” “A friend wouldn’t do what you did, either!”
~ ARGH RALPH WASN’T LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST MOVIE
~ *gasp* “It’s Arthur!” “And I say, ‘HEY!’” “Hey!” “What a wonderful kind of game!”
       ~ Felix and Calhoun need their own movie, or at least a series of shorts.
~ “You know what would fix this?” “Felix?” “Exactly!”
~ *imagines a cutaway from Vanellope in danger to a surprisingly peaceful Felix, Calhoun, and Sugar Rush racers scene*
~ “Oh, of course there’s a King Kong reference.”
~ “So, it seems that Ralph was the twist villain.” “He is… and yet he isn’t.”
~ “They need to stop making movies around messages and just tell stories again.”
~ “Oh, so they added her code to Slaughter Race, how convenient!” “Like King Candy added his to Sugar Rush?” “TURBO REGENERATED AND IS STILL OUT THERE.”
~ The racers are now well-behaved because Felix tapped them with his hammer.
~ Calhoun is wearing Felix’s shirt, that’s so cute!

Frozen II

*with special guest, our sister-in-law, T1

~ “What are they doing?” “Reindeer games!”
~ “It’s the fae…”
~ “Ahto-whattin?” “OCTAGONOPUS!”
~ “When you wake up at 3 am and need a snack.”
~ “Gonna wake up the whole castle.” “More like the entire town.”
~ “Why is Elsa in a void?” “Considering that other Disney movies have crazier song sequences, I’m letting the void slide.”
~ “This is the only rock you can trust.”
~ “HE’S A GLITCH!”
~ Anna, why are you so insecure that you’re putting words in Kristoff’s mouth?
~ *we just call the wind spirit Samantha the rest of the movie, even though its name is Gale*
~ “That looks like Ariel and Eric.”
~ “There is a fifth spirit.” “The Avatar!”
~ Mattias is great and he’s so underused.
~ For that matter, they really screwed Kristoff over too with his lame proposal subplot.
~ “I’m just glad they’re not Tarzan’s parents.”
~ “This (Show Yourself) sounds like a country song.” “Oh, yeah, it kinda does.” “Mmm, yeah.” “Imagine her with a guitar and cowboy hat.” “...I don’t hear it.”
~ *later on they say that it sounds like a Celine Dion ballad*
~ “Me doing The Plagues in ASL.”
~ “Hello, darkness.” “My old friend…”
~ *Mattias and other soldiers bang on their shields to get the rock giants’ attention* “We have a beat! Now sing!”
~ (Doofenshmirtz voice) “A horse? ...Elsa on a horse?!”
~ “Let’s build a race track!”

Raya and the Last Dragon

*with special guests our sister-in-law T1 and Mom

~ “It’s the same deal as in Frozen; you can’t really trust someone you just met.”
~ “She took care of the twist villain thing early.”
~ “Oh, explosive farts.”
~ “How did she booby trap her skeleton?”
~ “SAND!” “It’s rough and coarse and it gets everywhere.”
~ “Maybe the dragons will go back to normal when all the nations become one again.”
~ “That’s one way to change a diaper.”
~ That moment of Sisu and Namaari skipping off into the sunset is hilarious.
~ Okay, that seems like gaslighting.
~ “Imagine being saved by a baby.”
~ “My goodness, look at them gallop.” They’re like noodles!” “They’re like water horses!” “They’re neon!” “NEON NOODLES.”
~ “0/10, Not Enough Boun.”
~ It’s an alright movie, though it does have a little problem of not having enough time to develop the group’s friendship. Also, we have no sympathy for Namaari.

Encanto

Since this marathon was finished in Spring 2021, technically Encanto was not part of the marathon, and since we saw that in theaters on Thanksgiving, we didn't make any commentary and thus, I've got nothing to present aside from this opinion:

Encanto is the best movie of this set, having the most heart, fun characters, and some catchy-as-heck songs (especially We Don't Talk About Bruno, and I'm so glad that it dethroned Let it Go as the go-to catchy Disney song). However, I found it a little... dull? Some of the emotional beats didn't hit as hard as they could have? And there's plenty of unanswered questions, the ending is rushed, and we need more of Bruno.

Still, compared to the previous three, it's pretty good. I just don't think it ranks up there with the Renaissance Films like some people imply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this series, and hopefully I can come up with some other topics to write a journal about, because goodness have I been so quiet. You only know I'm alive because I occasionally post art.

See ya.

After a decade of ups and downs with the experimental movies, Disney managed to hit a streak of successful movies during the 2010s. I actually watched most of these in theaters, the one exception being the Winnie-the-Pooh movie.

Anyway, here's the commentary:

The Princess and the Frog

*with special guest @taichikitty

~ James is a good dad.
~ “Oh, it’s a sasquatch!” “He looks like that one Looney Tune!” “Gossamer?” “Yeah!” “Oh, so he escaped a Disney movie and made his way to the Looney Tunes.”
~ *to the one guy who said that Tiana had as much a chance of getting her restaurant as he did at winning the Kentucky Derby, and then witnesses her getting enough money for the restaurant* “Saddle up, dude!”
~ Imagine Tiana waiting on Facilier’s table. “What would you like, sir?” “THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT.” “A bagel.” “NO!” “Two bagels.” “...we don’t have any souls of the innocent so I’ll just get you your bagels…”
~ That kid dancing with Naveen is so cute!
~ Funny how Naveen and Lawrence have switched enthusiasm levels by the time they shake Facilier’s hands; while Naveen started out intrigued while Lawrence was concerned, by the handshake, Naveen hesitates while Lawrence jumps for it.
~ *guy dressed like octopus grabs drinks with all of his tentacles* “HOW?!”
~ “Was there really another bidder?” “I’ve always wondered if it was that, or those two are just… y’know…”
~ “I wish Stella had more lines, her voice is cute.”
~ “That poor turtle!” “Toyrtle?” “Huh?” “You said ‘toyrtle’.” “I said ‘turtle’!” “I heard ‘toyrtle’!”
~ “Oh, sure, nickname him after an injury.” “It could be a birth defect.” “Okay then, sure, nickname him after a birth defect… wait a minute, that’s worse! It’s like Quasimodo!”
~ “And she’s picking peppers.” “No, that’s okra!”
~ Mama Odie saw the light, and it blinded her
~ “Where did all these flamingos come from?” “They’re spoonbills.” “Well, where did they come from?” “They were just waiting for a musical number.”
~ “Oh, he wants to make a show out of Big Daddy LaBouff’s demise.”
~ “She just witnessed a man being dragged to the Other Side.” “Come on, say it like it is… he was dragged to Heck.”
~ “I wonder if they had the funeral and the wedding super fast, or it had been weeks, and they still managed to bid for that building.” “Perhaps those two guys were just being racist.”
~ So many butt jokes, so little time.
~ “Having a trumpet-playing alligator is bound to be a draw.”
~ “Imagine them telling people how they met.” “‘What was your first kiss like?’ ‘...slimy’.”

Tangled

~ “So much hair!” “Not even A4 could compete with that baby hair.” “You’re right, I’d win.”
~ “It’s gonna be a big day!” “It’s only been an hour.” “I guess it’s big in the sense that the minutes are longer.”
~ Rapunzel in her nest of hair is so cute
~ *pointing out all the things Maximus attempts on Flynn that could’ve seriously hurt because the former’s a horse*
~  “Now, back to the man in the closet.” “Got skeletons in her closet.”
~ “‘Come into the light’.” *Rapunzel comes into the light* “Behold, the hideous beast.” “It’s Beauty and the… Beauty.”
~ “You broke my smoulder.” “Good, it looked terrible.” “It was funny, though.”
~ “As it turns out, blades of grass do not stab your feet.”
~ “That man had pointy teeth!”
~ Those men are running so hard they’re causing a minor earthquake.
~ “‘Come to the Dark Side’.” “My goodness, Gothel’s a Sith Lord.”
~ “My theory of how Rapunzel hid that satchel the whole time is that she hid it in her hair.” “Well, where else would she hide it? Up her skirt?”
~ “Amazing how this scene works without either of them saying a word.” “And yet you’re saying words. Unnecessary commentary, much?” “This is the Disney Marathon, we do unnecessary commentary!”
~ Pascal is a third wheel
~ “The background music is an ominous version of ‘I See the Light’.” “...I think it’s in minor key?”
~ The revelation scene is a bit of a stretch tho
~ “Oooooh, that’s seven years bad luck! ...that she won’t live to see…” “Hey, all those ‘seven years’ are going to catch up with her all at once.”
~ “All right, I’ll shake your hand.” “No, into the hug!”
~ “Buck wishes he could be like Maximus.”
~ We just kept forgetting about Pascal
~ “Please float away and never come back.”

Winnie the Pooh

~ The animation is such a lovely blend of the classic style and modern style… gotta enjoy it while it lasts, it’s the last 2D movie in this marathon.
~ “He has a Tigger in his tummy.” “We all have Tiggers in our tummies.”
~ “Gee, Pooh, you throwing shade.” “I don’t think it’s intentional.”
~ I guess Tigger is Batman now.
~ *A4 is just hating Owl the whole time*
~ “They don’t even wait to confirm the tail as any good before singing.”
~ THE BACKSON! THE BACKSON!
~ “He’s gonna eat himself.” *Pooh does indeed eat the head of a Pooh-shaped honey blob* “AAAAAAAAAAA--” “You are what you eat.” “Oh, so that’s why he’s yellow.”
~ “I AM GOING TO TURN INTO A 2D ANIMATED CHARACTER JUST SO I CAN JUMP IN AND BEAT [Owl] UP!”
~ THEY HAD THAT GIANT HONEY POT THIS WHOLE TIME
~ Someone had to set up those props just for the end credits.

Wreck-It Ralph

~ “He lives in the stump?” *equations surround my head as I take this too seriously and try to figure out how Ralph fits in the stump*
~ “I bet they’ve all stolen cherries from this game at least once.”
~ Gene’s the real antagonist here, poor Felix is just a bystander.
~ “I feel sorry for this girl; every game she plays just freaks out on her.”
~ “What brings you here, neighbor?” Dangit, Felix, you’re too cute.
~ Wondering if the double stripe candy canes are some kind of road hazard.
~ CANNIBALISM
~ MUPPET DONUTS
~ Those kids are lucky they can drive.
~ Sugar Particles? Gosh, they breathe sugar!
~ “And she ruins her own moment.”
~ “Vanellope is just the right balance between annoying and adorable.”
~ Vanellope’s car is a beautiful mess.
~ “MANIPULATION.” “...that is a pretty good lie.”
~ “Maybe they can’t actually die when the game’s unplugged; maybe they hibernate and just forget everything when they wake up.” “You’re just telling yourself that to make yourself feel better!” “Well, how do they handle the consoles being switched around, or power outages, or stuff like that?”
~ “Just because Gene was wrong doesn’t mean that Ralph’s right.”
~ “What the heck happened while I was racing?!”
~ Vanellope’s medal is the only medal that matters.
~ Congratulations, Vanellope, you’re a Disney Princess!
~ “It’d be horrifying if Felix was eaten by a Cybug. Just imagine one of them with his face!” “Noooooooo, I don’t even want to imagine it!” “‘Well, howdy, Neighbor!’ ” “Don’t ruin the cinnamon roll!”
~ “NINJA TURTLES!”

Frozen

*with special guest, our sister-in-law, T1

~ “This opening suggests that the movie is cooler than it actually is.”
       ~ We need manly Disney songs like this again.
~ Wondering how the movie would go if Kristoff was the protagonist
~ It’s the middle of the night, why are their parents fully dressed?
~ “This should’ve been Elsa’s villain origin story.”
~ THERE’S RAPUNZEL AND EUGENE
~ “Getting engaged to someone you just met? They’re from Utah!” “HOW DARE YOU”
~ “Oh, hey, our queen does exist!”
~ “Honey, that dress is not in fashion.”
~ “No, Anna, you do not want the land covered in fire!”
~ Let the man sleep, Anna.
~ Yanno, it is weird that Kristoff is as concerned with the engagement as he is, you’d think he’d be the kind of character who, while he disapproves, would not push on something that’s none of his business
~ Every so often we come up with updates about how Rapunzel and Eugene are handling the situation--mostly it’s Eugene complaining about the weather.
~ “Kristoff almost got his nose pierced.”
~ “Just introduce him as the guy who helped you get up here!”
~ “Do you want to build a snowman? With sharp teeth and claws?”
~ “Wooo! Winter fun slide!”
~ “That is a broken spine.”
~ *Fixer Upper starts* “Okay, I’m leaving.” “Get back here! You’re supposed to suffer!”
~ *A2 and A3 look at each other in horror at the lines, “His thing with the reindeer that’s a little outside of nature’s laws”, “He hides his honest goods”, and the whole “fiance’s gotta go” thing*
~ How exactly does Elsa occupy her time in that castle?
~ “I like that Elsa comes off as a cornered animal here.”
~ “Ready for the worst twist in all of Disney?”
~ “THIS IS NOT HOW ROYAL SUCCESSIONS WORK!” “Do they have any cousins?” “Imagine this distant cousin living life as a merchant somewhere, when all of a sudden he’s grabbed and is told, ‘You’re our new king!’ ”
~ SWORD MAKE SONIC BOOM
~ “And they’re magically on a boat.”
~ A problem with this movie is that it has too many ideas at once. Another problem with this movie is that it’s really pushing its message about love a little too hard.

Big Hero 6

~ “I’d like to see a movie about these underground bot fights.”
~ “I wonder if their parents’ death had anything to do with Tadashi creating Baymax.”
~ The way that Baymax said “You have been a good boy” sounded kind of condescending (weird, because he’s supposed to sound neutral)
~ “I have a big nose, and I’m evil.” “He’s just the red herring.”
~ To be honest, Tadashi’s death was kinda forced
~ “Oh, of course there’s sad rain.” *from the one who briefly left the room* “Awww, I missed the sad rain!” “Now we’re looking at sad people… and there’s the saddest of them all… the little brother…”
~ “How does ‘low battery’ equal ‘drunk’?”
~ “Did they go in a circle?” “I think they did.”
~ *car is completely underwater and Hiro is in the process of unbuckling the seatbelt Baymax buckled him in earlier* “Seatbelts save lives." "Seatbelts everyone!” “Ride on the Magic School Bus!” *now the cast is floating up on Baymax* “Ride on the Magic Baymax!”
~ This butler has nerves of steel, he should be part of the team
~ Fred is a descendant of Hans (from Frozen), and that’s why the Hans statue is there.
~ “Do you know what quarantine means?” OH WE KNOW
~ “Baymax only said ‘hello’, and that’s a success?” “Hey, the scanner also works.” “‘At least he didn’t slap me!’”
~ “Onion ring’s gonna eat us!” “No… it’s a donut!”
~ “Oh, she’s Sleeping Beauty.” “And her dad was the dragon.”
~ And they journey into the cotton candy dimension
~ *Glove is opened to Baymax’s healthcare chip* “IT’S GREEN! It must be the amulet!” “That they found in the ‘attic’.”

Zootopia

*with special guest, our sister-in-law, T1

~ “They’re candy farmers.”
~ “We need a counter for the bunny multiplying jokes.” (There were only three)
~ “Taxes must be real high here; look at that infrastructure!”
~ Judy, you’re new, don’t be entitled.
~ “Shouldn’t Judy have someone show her the ropes?”
~ “DON’T be suspicious, don’t BE suspicious!”
~ “For a movie playing with animal stereotypes, they still go with the carrots!”
~ “And he leaves the stroller behind.” “It’s booted, nobody’s gonna want it.”
~ Little Nick is such a precious bean.
~ “Did that mouse just flip her off?”
~ “A lot of ‘prey’ animals are more dangerous than predators.” “Buffalo.” “Elephants.” “HIPPOS.” “Moose!” “Moose are the hippos of North America!”
~ Best friends, setting off each other’s traumas!
~ “Who’d have thought Gideon Grey would end up being important to the case.”
~ * A4 sobs because Gigantic was shelved and she’s still salty about it*
~ “Who names their kid Woolter? It’s like me naming my kid Harry--wait.”
~ The real Officer Toot-Toot.
~ “A3, Master of the Sheep! Tame those… weirdos…” “I can’t!”
~ “So are they called rams because they ram, or is the verb ram because of rams?”
~ AND THE POLICE STATION WAS ACROSS THE STREET
~ *so much drama over those stupid glittery hot tigers*

Moana

*with special guest, our sister-in-law, T1

~ IMMORTAL CHICKEN
~ “MOLD.” “Bleugh.”
~ “When you use a bird to write, it’s called ‘tweeting’.” “Boooooooooo”
~ Mad Max: Fury Ocean
~ “That looks like that… thing from Legend of Zelda.”
~ *shushes the others just to hear, “Mmmm, fish dinners!”*
~ “It chose her because her name means ‘ocean’.”
~ Got an owie from Maui
~ “I just realized that Te Ka kinda looks like Groot.”
~ “‘I haven’t slept in one thousand years!’” “‘I really need this nap.’”
~ Clearly the ocean hates that chicken, but it can’t kill him, so it has to keep him away.

I personally end this era at Moana, and consider the next few movies a different era. We'll get to those movies in the next post... we got quite a bit to say about them.

And here are the movies that I remember coming out during my childhood in the 2000's. What's interesting about this era is that they're getting a little experimental here, though whether or not the experiments work is a matter of opinion. My and the sisters are still sassy towards the movies, whether we liked them or not.

Fantasia 2000

~ EDGY BUTTERFLIES
~ “Their child is dead because of the seagulls.” “MINE.”
~ “For behold, I went into the pillar of light, and it did raise me up unto heaven.” “It could just be aliens.” “Same thing.”
~ The call of the strobe lights! The whales are out for revenge! They breach the clouds to show that not even the Air Force can stop them! Braving the supercells is a rite of passage and the only way to… WHALE HEAVEN. (We were really losing our minds during the whale segment)
~ “Oh, he’s the little drummer boy.”
~ Proof that cats are liquid
~ “Those girls look like they have no thoughts.” “No thoughts, head empty.”
~ “This guy just gets a job out of the blue.” “‘Hey, you look like you work here, get to work!’” “Does he even know what he’s doing?”
~ “If I hold still, maybe I'll be able to stay in the boat.”
~ How to Handle Creeps: Throw them in the furnace.
~ (at the same time) “Darth Vader?” “Mufasa?” *we stare at each other awkwardly*
~ “But the yo-yo man said nothing, he just kept on yo-ing.”
~ Avatar Mickey
~ Noah takes shipping to a whole new level
~ How did Donald and Daisy go forty days and nights without bumping into each other?
~ This elk has magic breath.
~ “Is this backstory of Bambi’s father?”
~ “Is this Mount St. Helens?” *later, when shown the mountain after the eruption* “It is indeed Mount St. Helens.”

Dinosaur

~ “How did the egg survive that fall?” “It hit a monkey.” “How did the monkey survive?!”
~ It’s the classic tale of ‘Dad doesn’t want a dog, family gets dog anyway, and then Dad ends up becoming dog’s best friend’.
~ Oh, look, murder stars.
~ Those poor Velociraptors have broken wrists.
~ *sisters just call Bruton “Crouton” the whole time*
~ “He’s just grumpy because he doesn’t have a salad.”
~ OH MY GOODNESS WE JUST SAW SHREDDED MEAT
~ We lament that Crouton got character development, and then died soon after he finally got a plant.
~ Baylene was their greatest asset the whole time
~ “Yay, we made it to the golf course!”
~ “I thought he was going to lick the screen.”
~ *sisters are happy that Kron died… and then lament that the Carnotaur should’ve eaten him*

The Emperor’s New Groove

~ You see a lot of stuff that doesn’t belong in this time and place (like Theme Song Guy), but you realize the tone of the movie and just don’t care.
~ Kuzco with the brides is like critics with the Disney Princesses.
~ “I practically raised him!” “Oh, so this is all your fault.”
~ “Wait! What was the third reason?!”
~ South America and their giant waterfalls
~ “He’s got the same nice guy syndrome as Kronk.” “The conscience strikes again!”
~ Sorry, Pacha, you’re not a good Tarzan.
~ “His delicate emperor body cannot handle real life.”
~ "I'm in a jungle with a man that talks to squirrels."
~ *squirrel points them the direction Kuzco went* "Yeah, let's run off a cliff!"
~ “Okay, but you can see Kronk frustrated there.” “He gets what the other guy’s problem was.”
~ “I believe I can fly…” *Yzma and Kronk are struck by lightning* “And then along came Zeus!”
~ “Oooh, it’s a runny nose!” “You need a tissue, buddy?”
~ “BOOM! Baby!”

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

~ “Oh, she exploded.”
~ “I can’t believe he missed that one letter.” “Especially since there’s another C right there.”
~ “It’s a giant lobster!”
~ “Say, what year did World War I start?” *sister looks it up; WWI was 1914-1918* “Okay, so imagine this technology in the war.” “That’d have been terrifying.” “Milo escaped just in time.”
~ “Okay, they’re all dead, movie’s over!”
~ This breaking of the language barrier is less contrived than Pocahontas’... but it’s still contrived.
~ The biggest issue here is that the longevity of these people makes the “dying culture” plot really stupid. The same generation that lived when the flood happened is still alive in the movie’s present (1914); cultures don’t die in a single generation (barring genocide).  
~ It’s also kind of annoying that these people just straight up forgot how to read. Do they not have any books or tablets or anything with writing on it in the parts of the city that survived the flood?
~ Milo is not good with vehicles.
~ “Are we going to get some Scary Crystal Lady action?!” *they just shut Kida in a giant metal box* “Aww… I wanted Scary Crystal Lady action…”
~ “Oh, hey, we getting Scary Crystal Man action?” *Rourke starts attacking Milo* “Ooooooh, we getting it!” *Rourke hits propeller and is blown to bits* “Aww…”
~ The Rock Kings just wanted to rest longer, but noooooo, Kida needed them to save Atlantis from a freaking volcano!
~ “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!”
~ “Hey, why did it send her back and not her mom?” “They hated her haircut.”
~ NARWHAL

Lilo and Stitch

~ *pointing out the multiple places “A113” shows up*
~ “That guy looks more like a shark than Gantu.”
~ “Why are they all dinosaurs?”
~ “Did you ever kill anyone?” “...we’re getting off the subject.” “He totally did.”
~ “Well, that takes care of the nail problem.”
~ “I love that cut.” “Yep, it’s like, ‘Here’s your angel!’”
~ “Wait, do they really have turtle crossing signs in Hawaii?”
~ That doll keeps needing surgery
~ “The mosquitos are swarming him because his blood tastes weird and everyone wants to try it.” “It’s exotic food!”
~ *during the scene in the hotel with the old lady* “This was just a bad idea in general.”
~ “What if he met a bear?” “He’d die… of fright.”
~ “He almost got hit by a spaceship!” “Luckily, the only casualty is ice cream.”
~ Welp, they’re protected by an alien government
~ “I think he only crossdresses because he can’t find pants.”

Treasure Planet

*with special guest, our brother A1

~ Wait a minute, that narrator sounds like Frollo
~ Dr. Doppler is eating from a dog bowl (and there’s a water dish, too!)
~ The police confiscated his skateboard
~ That scar just keeps switching sides!
~ “Is he a turtle?” “Yeah… probably a snapping turtle, ‘cause of the tail.”
~ “Beware the cyborg.” “He’ll come in shouting, ‘BOOYAH!’”
~ “To the mooooon!” “Not really a moon, it’s a fake moon.”
~ “So… he speaks fart.”
~ “Oh, it’s a cat!” “The cat-tain.”
~ There’s no way Jim can compete with the robot arm when it comes to helping the cook
~ “Take those scissors… and cut off the little rat tail right there…”
~ “What happened?” “You see, I was in Jaws…”
~ This black hole just keeps exploding
~ “They’re giant mushrooms!” “Maybe they’re friendly!”
~ “Spider-Crab, Spider-Crab, does whatever a spider-crab does.”
~ “If I could fall into the sky…” “You’re laughing. A man has just died from suffocation and too high, and you’re laughing.”
~ “Okay, that’s creepy.” “It’s like Mufasa.”

Brother Bear

~ “Heheheheheh, butts.” “Caribou butts… caributts.”
~ Why was he trying to milk a caribou
~ Make sure your food is secure from bears.
~ THAT LITTLE GIRL LOOKS LIKE LILO
~ "So the spirits guide you with… guidance."
~ “Is there a bear among these berries?” “....” “Be berry quiet…”
~ Naughty boys are turned into animals to atone for their sins.
~ You really gotta feel sorry for Denahi--he lost both his brothers within a week, both in incidents involving bears. No wonder he got revenge-crazy.
~ *we just groan every time the moose appear and eat up screen time*
~ “Why are you scared of this guy? You’re a moose, you’re not supposed to care!”
~ “He’s doing that predator walk thing.” “He could probably jump across that… oh, is he gonna do it?” *Denahi does indeed jump across the ravine*
~ “Where are you from?” “Uh, Canada?”
~ “This place looks like a water park.”
~ “Well, now you know how Sitka feels.” “And Denahi… and… *points to sisters* ...you two…”
~ “Yeah, but your brother didn’t kill your mother, did he?!” “Plot twist, maybe he did.”
~ “Oh, my gosh… are you naked?”
~ “I’d tell you ‘You need to chill’, but…” “...you were already kinda doing that.”
~ “‘And that’s the story of why we have a bear paw print on the wall’.” “...for a second I thought you were talking about our wall.”

Home on the Range

~ When we first started the movie, Disney+ glitched on us, and A3 had to basically turn it off and back on again; it’s like even the streaming service didn’t want to watch it!
~ “She don’t care that he just ruined her crop.”
~ “Don’t you know a hero when you see one?” “That looks more like a villain entrance.”
~ *sign reads Mr. Y. O’Del* “Oh, Mr. Yodel.” “Pfffffft, that’s actually hilarious.”
~ *scene with flirty steers* “I don’t want to call this a cattle-call.”
~ *during Alameda Slim’s villain song* “Who… thought this was a good idea?” “A genius.”
~ Buck would be #WorstHorse, but Widowmaker exists.
~ Oh, this desert just turned into an ocean.
~ *Mrs. Calloway calls Maggie the biggest disaster the farm ever had* “She was only there for five minutes!”
~ This movie seems to lack a lot of the little details that make us actually care for the characters. Like, actually show Maggie wanting to make a good impression on Patch of Heaven before cutting to her showing off, or show that there’s mutual respect between Buck and the sheriff and the dog, and stuff like that.
~ This movie should’ve been about Pearl, and she should’ve been the one going after Slim, teamed up with some young upstart wanting to be a hero, and she teaches him humility. That would’ve been awesome.
~ OH MY GOSH OUR STATE WAS JUST NAME-DROPPED
~ The Bouncer-ffalo.
~ THE WAY THAT SLIM’S NEPHEWS RUN IS SO FUNNY
~ “Oh, look, he’s a twist villain. A man ahead of his time.”
~ Buck would’ve been more interesting (and his turnaround more believable) if he was actually friends with the cows and he had to choose between them and his goal.
~ *with a grin* “That was insufferable!”

Chicken Little

~ They couldn’t have asked what was up before panicking?
~ “He doesn’t deserve any of this.”
~ “If he’s the runt of the litter I’m afraid to see his siblings.” “He could have started out small, like Clifford.”
~ “Why is she not wearing pants?”
~ “Evangeline, get out of this movie while you still can.” “‘You can’t tell me what to dooooooo’.”
~ “Oh, look, acorn mascot.” “...is it an acorn?” “...IT’S AN EVIL ACORN.”
~ We wasted so much time on freakin’ baseball.
~ “I associate this song [Wannabe] with this movie.” “*sigh* Yeah…”
~ “Those bunnies are ugly.” “Everything’s ugly in this movie.”
~ *one of us is fangirling over the aliens for being good parents*
~ “I just realized… Runt went hogwild.” “.....” “.....” “...oh my goodness!”
~ “This town is awful, you should move.”
~ “YOUR DAY OF RECKONING HAS ARRIVED!”
~ “His eyebrows… they look like leaves.” “...they do!” “Yep, that’s my takeaway from this scene.” “My goodness, he’s growing leaves! He must be part plant!” “So… he’s like that one guy… Bushroot?” “*GASP* Bushroot mutated another person!” “No, no, don’t compare them… he [Buck Cluck] is not worthy.”
~ “Oh, while we’re on the subject of Darkwing Duck… she looks like an off-brand Gosalyn.”
~ “You’re getting them vaporized! You’re a bad citizen!” “They were bad citizens first.”
~ The movie within the movie is so stupid it’s actually kind of hilarious.
~ “Hey, that guy’s still in the acorn costume!” “I guess he just wears it all the time.” “He’s an acorn mutant.”
~ “Okay, this song [Don’t Go Breaking my Heart] makes me think of Ella Enchanted.” “Better that movie than this one.”
~ “The aliens were the best part.”

Meet the Robinsons

~ “This man smells like sweat and tears and something else.” “And he looks like Waluigi.”
~ The whole world is this little girl’s enemy.
~ “I don’t think bubbles are a safe form of transportation...”
~ I want a bouncy lawn…
~ *A4 finds Carl annoying for some reason*
~ “They just randomly accept this kid in their house.” “Someone walks through the door and they’re immediately adopted.”
~ Imagine that as a result of Bowler Hat Guy’s urging of Goob to not let it go, Goob ends up just letting it go anyway.
~ I gotta be honest… I don’t like the Robinson family. None of them have any personality--except for like, one or two--they only have gimmicks.
~ "That hat had a child."
~ “They’re really hammering in the theme here.”
~ “Oh, my goodness, mafia frogs!” “I want to be taken out by mafia frogs… frog mafia… frofia…”
~ “See, I can’t adopt you because… you’re my husband!”
~ “Oh, no, the annoying personality-less weirdos have become hat zombies.”
~ “To be fair, Wilbur at least tried to fix things without causing more problems.”
~ You see fire ant girl smirking from behind the cover, expecting Lewis’ invention to blow.
~ WE WANT TO SEE GOOB’S IMPROVED FUTURE

Bolt

~ “I have altered him.” “Why would you do that?!”
~ HOW AND WHY ARE THEY DOING ALL THIS COMPLICATED, DANGEROUS CRAP JUST TO FOOL ONE DOG?!
~ “This is animal abuse, man.”
~ The agent is immediately hateable, he even has a douchey hairstyle
~ “Do all pigeons have New York accents? The pigeons in Animaniacs, for one.” “Okay, but these guys are in New York.”
~ “Oh, we have a Hamboy Fa--I mean, Fanboy Hamster.”
~ “He looks like Rumpelstiltskin from the fourth Shrek.” “His name is Rump now.”
~ “Rhino’s the one with the superpowers.” “He’s a superhamster!”
~ *cue Rhino stepping out of his ball and laughing maniacally* “I think he’s a supervillain.”
~ "Oh, that could have killed someone." *explosion* "That definitely could have killed someone!"
~ “We want to be dogs; we have dog complexes!” “But I thought everybody wants to be a cat…”
~ Note on the pigeons… no, they don’t all have New York accents, the ones in California speak more like… well, Californians.
~ “Here we are, the most dangerous place on the planet.” “HOLLYWOOD.”
~ “There he is! My first fictional crush…” (the extra that coos over Rhino)
~ Complicated gobbledygook to fool one animal, burning open flames near flammable set pieces with not even a fire extinguisher on hand, the fact that they continue the show with aliens of all things... we smell several kinds of trouble for that studio.
~ *pigeons with a Southern accent* “Where are they now?” “Somewhere in the South… probably Texas, it’s where all the people escaping California run to.”

Next time, we cover the Disney Revival.