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"Ah, another would be claimant to the title. Well, errand boy, what have you to offer that the dozens other would be heroes didn't have?"
"I come armed with honor! And courage! And valor! And the finest honed Spanish steel, forged in the very furnaces of the dwarf king's halls!"
"No! Oh no! Not SPANISH steel! Oh no no no no! I'm done for! Just throw in the towel now!"
"Of course not, idiot." *WHOOOOOOOOSH!*