It was a typical day at the pub. I parked my car on the shoulder of the road. I began walking to the door and then I scanned over the faces of everyone in the room, walking to a nearby stool. Nothing seemed suspicious back then, but soon I would come to rue this day. The bartender there seemed very busy with the amount of people who came that night, and I felt bad to request a drink, however, I shyly raised my hand whenever he was done with a customer. Despite this, it seemed that the bartender kept ignoring me, and that royally pissed me off. You see, it was my 21st birthday and I wanted to celebrate this by treating myself to a drink for the first time. I brought my ID for backup, I didn't want the night getting ruined by anything. Finally, the bartender came over to me. Just when I was about to order, he said to me with a concerned face, "Sir, I think you might be a little too underweight to drink." I was personally really fucking offended by this. Who does he think he is going around telling people they're too skinny to be drinking? I was waiting for one of my best friends to show up. I checked the time on my phone and also checked if he had messaged me anything. Last time we had talked, he said he'd be there in about 10 minutes, but it'd already been 20 minutes, and he still hadn't shown up. I was a little irritated from waiting and from the bartender, but I was still focused on trying to have a good time that night. The bartender eventually got over his concerns with how underweight I was and he gave me a drink. I glanced over the room again and I saw multiple strippers grinding against their poles. I also saw men sneering as they threw cash onto their stands. I decided to treat myself, beer in hand, to view the strippers from a nearby seat. Another new stripper came out onto the catwalk and directed everyone's attention towards him by speaking into the mic. "Hey y'all, my name's Ian but you can call me Brutalmoose. They call me that because I'm brutal when having and receiving anal sex... I wanna give a special spanks to my home gal Jason Smith-yeah, I see you honey~" I looked up on the stage and recognized Jason Smith to be one of my favorite chefs from the Food Network. I was shocked that he was here of all places. "I gave this hoe a blowjob in order for him to sponsor my cooking videos on Food Network!!" Everyone started cheering and slamming their tables. "Alright guys, now I know what you're here for..." He winked while shaking his ass. "Who wants some of this soggy sausage...~" he moaned. The crowd went wild, and I looked around angrily, feeling extremely uncomfortable with what I was seeing. I wasn't expecting this to be some faggot bar. God damn. I angrily texted my friend asking, "where are you?? And why did you bring me to this place, did you know there was going to be a bunch of twinks here??!!" Still, no damn answer...I was really livid at this point. That's when I suddenly heard the door slam open. There was a few shrieks as the entire bar went silent, turning their heads to see where the disturbance came from. It was my friend who I had been waiting for, Moby. I stared at him and saw that in his hands he was holding an automatic in each hand, pointed towards the crowd of people. Everyone seemed to be frozen, as if time had stopped. Not even a second flew by, and Moby started firing onto the crowd. The entire bar was now filled with screams and the trampling of feet. I got up on my feet and ran towards my friend, and he tossed one of the guns to me. "Beep beep", Moby said. I nodded back at him and started firing towards the crowd. One of the first to die was Brutalmoose and some other stripper who looked like a peacock. "Beep beep beep, b-beep!! Beep!" Moboy laughed sadistically as he continued to shoot, this time, aiming for people's dicks. We shot all the gays, and that was the best birthday I've ever had.