This is how I feel about writing. When I have the chance, I feel like doing other stuff like art, listening to music, surfing the internet, playing games, etc. Then, just when I feel like writing, my family turns on the TV, radio, their endless mouths, or something stupid happens that keep me from doing so. I live in a constant state of frustration, implosion, and anxiety because everything happens at seemingly the wrong time. Sometimes I wonder if I was born the wrong person, at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong life.
It's just the daily struggle of being who I am. I'm very different from the rest of my family. And it's not that I'm totally strange, either. I merely grew up with a traumatic life, found solitude in the self-distraction of writing, art, and video games, and I wish nothing more than to live a simple life in peace and quiet. I just live with a mom and sister who have mental problems, emotional instability, and social quirks, but I can't move out because they need my help and I don't have the heart to leave them (especially with rent rising in our city).
Like you, I also am determined to not let go of my dreams. I've clung onto them through thick and thin like an old friend through a tough battle, and I'm going to stand and fight until my last breath, because what I love to do and live for is an important part of me.
I already know what it's like to be forced by someone else to not do what I love, and it just violates every inch of your being. It's like someone telling you, "Don't breathe. You're not supposed to live. You're not supposed to be happy and live your life. I am in control of your very soul." It's just not something to be tolerated lightly. I could not be forced to not be who I was, so after a few months, I could not take it anymore and I wrote in secret.
Because what you love to do is who you are.
Craftea, your art is breath-taking and deep. They have so much meaning in them, and I can tell at a glance that you create your art with love. You already have so much what a great artist has, and you've come so far on this beautiful and inspiring journey. I'm excited to see you journey on further. Every great artist lives a life-long adventure of seeing how much better they can get. It's a thrill. Making something new is like setting yourself a fun challenge, and each individual challenge is an obstacle course you narrow your eyes and smirk at as you prepare to take it on. Everyone's already great if they love what they do, for whatever they love they will live for.
Your art lives for you, too.