Published: November 3, 2011
'It's dark. It's so very dark.'
That's Rose's first thought these days, each time she awakens in the morning to the time she falls asleep at night. The darkness surrounding her since her earliest memories continued to grow, in power and size, until she felt as though she was about to be swallowed whole by it.
The few beacons of light in that darkness were dwindling. The first had always been Logan. Her older brother, the kind and loving man who had eventually walked out of her life, leaving her alone with that beast she called her mother and the feelings of hurt and betrayal that had followed. His promises of staying in touch and one day returning for her had echoed within her mind daily, for years, until, at last, she had given up her hope.
Another beacon, her twin: Hunter. He was the one who had been with her since their birth, the one who had stayed with her no matter how she acted or what she did. He ha promised that he would never leave her alone, as Logan had. But it would seem that she had yet another lie thrown at her. Once they had met that group, Hunter began growing more distant until, at last, he was gone. He had switched sides, leaving her alone while he joined the enemy and found love with the Swift girl. Her twin was now gone, and her heart continued to break.
The final beacon, her partner: Hatimon. She had always been there, from the moment they first met. From her promise to remain at her side and to never leave her, the digimon had done just as she said. Even all these years later, she was still so loyal to her. And Rose cherished it, though she would never willingly admit to it. Hatimon was her last vestige of light in this darkness that made up her life. She didn't want to lose her and drown in darkness.
And then the day came when she, so lost in rage, forced her to evolve and bend to her will. Forcing her to fight, no matter what pain it caused her. Even having her face her own twin in battle, Rose felt no remorse at the time. She was blinded by the pain and darkness she had endured for so long.
It haunted her.
She had hurt the last remnant of light she had. She could have lost it forever. And yet she had been so determined to exact her revenge on Hunter and his new friends, she had ignored it. She doubted anyone could ever understand her thoughts, her feelings. So desperate to please the beast, her mother, she had performed so many dark deeds. What was one more?
And yet this 'one more' had nearly cost her dearly. She had all but destroyed any chance of Hunter returning to her. Logan would, most likely, never return to her. And Hatimon
she had almost lost her.
And now, her she sat, twirling a few strands of her hair, while Hatimon was curled at her side. The wolf-like digimon had drifted into the realm of slumber, allowing Rose's mind to wander. Flashes crossed her mind, from the earliest memories of her childhood to her current dilemma. Visions of times where everyone was leaving her alone to face the darker side of this world alone flew through her mind at high speeds. Everything she had endured was slowly coming back to her now.
'I want it all to stop. Make it stop!'
Releasing a small, quiet whimper, she wrapped her arms tightly around her shaking form, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. Pain was shooting around within her, and she was slowly losing her grip on the reality she had attempted to create.
'Don't leave me alone. I don't want to be alone!'
Why was she alone? Where were her lights? Where were they? Why were they not with her when she needed them?
And the dark reality began to sink in once more. She had slowly begun to push her lights away. Logan, who had abandoned her long ago, was nowhere to be found. Hunter, who she had pushed further away with her attack on the Swift girl, would not come. And Hatimon
how would she ever forgive her for what she had done?
Slowly, but surely, she felt as though she was sinking into the darkness. Each day, she was being submerged a little more. And it would continue until the day it overwhelmed her completely.
The light was slowly fading. Her light was leaving her. Soon, she would be alone, without her hope or any chance of her salvation. The shady dealings that her mother was involved in
at one time, she would have done anything for that woman, no matter what happened to her. No matter how far she fell. All she had ever wanted from the woman was approval, love, recognition
she just wanted her mother
to be a mother. She wanted her to be a mother to her brothers and herself, instead of a woman driven by her greed and a craving for power.
'Can I be saved? Will anyone ever save me? Will anyone have the desire to save me? Do I even deserve it?'
Did she even have any worth now that she had failed so many for so long? Was she insignificant now, after everything she had done?
Releasing a quiet sigh, Rose stood and silently made her way to the bathroom, turning on the water for the bathtub. She was essentially on auto pilot at this point, as her mind continued to drift through all of the dark thoughts coursing throughout it.
As she finally settled into the tub, she could not even distinguish the warmth of the water surrounding her. In a sense, it was like she was unable to feel even the smallest thing. Even as the water grew colder and colder, until it was freezing, she still sat there, unable to feel it.
'I feel empty, alone, cold
please save me!'