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About Deviant AnnaFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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I'm horrible when it comes to direction. North, South, East, West... It's all the same to me. Odd that I love living in a bigger city than I ever have before, but have a healthy fear of getting lost.
Twice on the way to work I have passed my exit and have had to use my GPS to re-route. Thank goodness for technology. Before I would have had to find a map, use a compass, or worse yet, ask for directions!
I however, will not allow fear to swallow me up, and keep me from enjoying the sites and sounds of my new surroundings. Where ever I look, I see shops and restaurants, just waiting to be experienced and enjoyed.
These are my memories, this is my home. The familiarity of the places I had been with my grandpa, the lights, the sounds, they stir within. Now it's time for new explorations. I never thought that I would be able to move back here, but now that my feet are on this soil, I know it's where my heart is planted.
I won't be lost anymore. My sense of direction must correct its course,
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 0 0
Buried in a Box
you used me
abused me
there’s nothing you
would do for me
i’m haunted
Your words are jaded
more than likely, faded
what’s left of me
what’s broken
left me weakened
i long to be stronger
i wish you would hold me
Your words bring me down
my confidence cannot be found
You’ve placed me in a box
my spirit’s underground
i’m beautiful
this smile I show
is fake and…
You own me
control me
my heart is in your hands
you squeeze until..
i can’t stand
you cut me
you don’t see me
these words they flow
like i’m bleeding
you caged me
enraged me
you stripped me down
knocked my feet off the gound
I long to be stronger
I wish you would hold me
your words bring me down
my confidence cannot be found
you placed me in a box
my spirit’s underground…
you’ll never make me stronger
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 2 0
Above My Head
You grabbed my wrist, and I could feel the pull
With every word spoken, my heart was full
I had felt the water filling in my lungs
Down into the depths my heart was plunged
The anger, the hurt, my burning fear
In times past, I never shed a tear
I let it flow outwardly, now I’m exposed
I wasn’t ready to reveal, but I found myself unload
I have been lost…where have you been?
Have you been near or far? Can I let you in?
Tho time will tell, the truth will be told
I feel myself drawn to arms that want to hold
Promises they break
My heart is glass, I’m hardly awake
As blood begins to flow, my hands reach out
I don’t even know how long I’d been down
Tied up and bound, placed where I’d not be found
You grabbed my wrist, please don’t let me drown
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silver wire loops ear cuff by cottonpatch silver wire loops ear cuff :iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 1 0
Expose My Heart
It’s the pace that your making
Like a clock
Tick, tick, tock, tick-tock
But it’s out of rhythm
There’s no rhyme
The placement of your feet
It’s out of time
Your speech is slurred
Your words are stammered
It’s like a dream
Where nothing matters
The horrors I’ve seen
They are through your making
My insides you ripped apart
My heart, exposed
Available for the taking
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Drunken and Drowning
Drunken and Drowning
Lost words
Unspoken phrases
Stuttering speech
Unheard whispers
Jumbled thoughts
Veins of rage
Blood of terror
Soul of pain
Quickening pulse
Red hot cheeks
Stinging tears
Pure fury
Verging insanity
Amber liquid
Bloodshot eyes
Sickening sounds
Non-existing existence
Lifeless life
Wishful dreams
Dying passion
Play with love
Numb feelings
Irriversable past
Closed doors
Locked locks
Race through mazes
Untangling knots
Shaky hands
Trembling lips
Quivering pout
Uncontrollable body
See through eyes
Unreliable people
Good friends
Trust in yourself
Hidden beauty
Unmistakably gorgeous
Afraid to bloom
Bitter grudges
Unable to breath
Slow and steady
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 1 2
If I were to wish for happiness,
Would someone grant it?
If I were to cry and pray,
Would God even glance down?
Would he give me something
I had not asked for?
If I knew someone had wished for intelligence
Would they truly want it?
Would they treasure it, use it wisely?
They could become the Earth’s solver
But if I were to go to them,
Would they become stumped?
If I were to want love
Would someone romance me?
Would my love walk away from me
As I crumble to the ground?
If I were to flood a river with my tears,
Would someone take notice of me?
Would they hold up my face,
Wipe away my tears?
Or would my tears fall to the ground,
Forever unseen by mankind.
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 0 1
     Though there is no real place I’m heading to, I feel the grit of determination.  My feet are light on the ground.  There really is no substance underneath, no feeling.  My body feels so heavy with the sleep, as my gait is slow and sluggish.  I continue to walk even though I know it is pointless.  I always walk the same dirt path.  The real distance is never in my sight, but I am putting one foot in front of the other.  The dirt sounds crunch and the trees are fully green and tall.  I know in this place I’m insignificant.
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 1 6
What makes us brave, what makes us tall?
What makes us insane, what makes us small?
The words you speak they make me feel,
The pain inside, I need to heal.
Give me time, I’m out of thoughts
I’m lost, I’m tired, I’m in a box.
There is no key, there is no lock.
Each board is nailed in it’s spot.
Air flows in the cracks, filling the space.
Your mouth says love, but hate is in your face.
No common ground in what you say and what I know.
I’m tired of lies, from your tongue poison flows
Can’t you see me?
The efforts I make, until my insides bleed.
You continue to turn your head, And now my throat screams.
I’m giving up, my insides bursting seems.
You think your special, money buys you things.
Your personality is a corpse, though your outside sings.
Maybe I’m glad you left me alone.
Someday I’ll find where it is the sun has really shone.
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 1 8
I struggle for words as they creep up in my throat.
It’s clenching to push out what I want to say,
but words turn to vapor as they reach my tongue.  
Time has trickled away.
I reach out for a recaptured moment,
only to burst the outer skin of the bubble.
The wetness from the bubble kisses my skin.
As the particles disperse, so does my hope.
My train of thought is a confusing entanglement.
Time present is so fragile now.
I don’t know how to nourish these roots,
when there is no soil, no ground.
I am stagnant.
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 2 6
Untangling the Orchestra
                                          Untangling the Orchestra
  It’s not silence that makes the air peaceful around you.  It’s the noise that get’s under our skin sometimes, because it’s human nature to want to connect.  That’s when I realized.  I had come to the river bank to sit.  I needed away from everything, where noises of it all had soaked through my skin so bad it hurt.  It was so peaceful near the water.  I could have floated away that day, never to return.  But it’s the noise that keeps us awake, keeps us connected to the world, so we can come back to reality.  
  I wanted silence, darkness, but I realized all I needed was a little solit
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 2 5
Warm Breezes
I feel the wind across my face
Soon, summer will be in its place
In cool waters I'll stay
When days are hot and hazy
I'll lay on the grass
Dreaming and being lazy
I shall no longer wait inside
While it snows
But I will feel the tiny buttercups
Tickle my nose
No more cold winter sneezes
Only summer's warm breezes
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 1 5
Depression in a looking glass
Dark and Dreary, so alone and cold
Full of Curiosity, but afraid to be bold
Covered thick in pity, no way to escape
Who is there to help her?
Would anyone see?
Wondering, stumbling in the darkness
Nothing to hold on to, nothing to grasp
As she falls into sorrow, For her there is no love
What is the meaning of beautiful?
What is happiness?
Who is going to love her?
Would anyone hold her?
The sadness in her soul, it's thicker than blood
You can see it in her face, a tear escapes your eye
You see her walking, her head is down low
No self confidence, No one showed her enough care
I stare at her, she could be beautiful
Why does she have this life?
I look at her
It makes me want to cry
Especially when she wonders,
What would it be like to die?
What can I possibly do, her thoughts thick and heavy
anger runs thick through her blood
Pain and Sadness are in her soul
I reach out to touch her, that's when I gasp
For what I am touching...
It's nothing but glass
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I never knew I missed you
It was a bitter sweet moment today when I came across a long lost friend from High school in Illinois. I found out a few people from school I knew had passed away, one of them who I considered my friend. I hadn’t kept in contact with anyone, so it was a real shock to me to find out how hard I took it, and I bawled like a baby in parts of the day.
     I didn’t realize how much of my heart was left in Illinois when I moved, and how much of my heart I left to my friend Jesse. I’m still young enough to still have my family and friends living, so this would be my first loss that I’ve had to deal with on such a personal level. How do you forget someone that you still want to get to know? How do I say goodbye to my friend now after all these years when there was so much not said after I moved away.
     I found myself feeling bitter at my family for making me move away from my home. I thought I was over it, but seemed like
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Saving Words of Friendship
I hear the drip, drip, dripping of the sink
The room is silent
Just like your words are silent
I let my rage out upon you
The broken dishes shattered,
Stretched out on the floor
Like the pieces of your heart
I wish I could break you
Like the insides of me are broken
I always try to take them down
The happiness around me, sickening
When the walls are closing in
It’s my heart, thickening
I wish it could grow around me like vines
To deaden out the pain and hunger of life
Can you reach to me in time
Can the healing touch come in time
To save me, can you save me?
When the words of a friend are lost
Spoken across vast miles of earth
Will words reach the destination in time
To save me, can you save me?
:iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 0 3
Icicles on a holy bush part 3 by cottonpatch Icicles on a holy bush part 3 :iconcottonpatch:cottonpatch 0 0



cottonpatch's Profile Picture
United States
Enjoy photography and expressing myself and the world around me in words. I love music, and most of the time I am listing to rock tho I do enjoy blues/soul, hip hop, and pop. I am and old soul and definitely love oldies! Expression through lyrics and words is the most beautiful thing in life you could share with others, and its the way I know how to express myself the best.
  • Listening to: Royals, by Lorde
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  The amount of food I will force my tummy to eat today will be great I'm sure, lol.  I never tire of cooking for Thanksgiving.  Something about mixing, chopping, laboring in front of the stove with friends and family just soothes my soul.  I left my house to come to my sister's last night, and realized I had forgotten the pumpkin and apple pies I had at home...epic failure!!  No worries, we are going to some other family's house this afternoon, since we are cooking for dinner, and I'm sure there will be pies!  It wouldn't be Thanksgiving with out the stuffing or pie, just sayin.  It definitely will not be Thanksgiving if I do not get some pumpkin pie today!  

I hope everyone has a great day today!  Whether you are having a big get together, or just a small get together, don't forget to count your blessings, no matter how big or small.  I am thankful for the oddest thing today.  I'm Thankful for my fiance leaving this last July.  It made me realize how desperately I needed more positive people around, how I deserved a much happier relationship.  I have gained so many wonderful friends during this time, its amazing the amount of positive feed back I have received.  I'm very thankful for not only getting to see family today but for getting to spend time with a good friend of mine this weekend.  It will be a three hour drive, but well worth it.  I have four days off and I'm definitely looking forward to using every last day off spending it with family and friends.  


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chibifaye Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2009
Thanks for the fave :)
JokersBri Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2009
Heya :)
I'm from the adopt an author thingie :D

Wanna be writing buddies?
FireflyPhotosAust Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you very much for the :+fav: on "Restricted Access" Anna:-)
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2009
Hello Anna,

I'm pleased you liked Two Divided By One [link]

Thanks very much for the :+fav:. I appreciate it :D
VirginPrune Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2009
thanks for the fav ;>
grimsbloody Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
Thank you for the watch!
zmorgason Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2009  Student Writer
I can't even believe how long it's been, but thank you so much for the :+fav: and the helpful comments. They're both so appreciated :hug:
Kit-Darling Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2009   Writer
Anna...I miss you!
cottonpatch Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2009
oh my gosh I am so lazy here lately lol. I haven't written a story in ages, and the one i have in progress isn't finished. Anyway, I been busy trying to think of a subject for a blog, and I started a blog on blogger today, like anyone is going to read it, lol. I guess as long as I get to write it will all be ok!
Kit-Darling Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2009   Writer
What's your blog? I'll read it!
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