CorpSanct

A bit late but oh well. Time to reflect on last year's journal. I think I'm getting closer and closer to anime style, but I'm still slipping up So far my approach has been to copy copy copy anime style art (usually from AI stuff), find things that work and trying to figure out what doesn't for my own art. I'm uninspired by other artists I blame social media's algorithm for this. I'm only exposed to big accounts and AI content. So its hard to feel a connection with anyone besides the small discord communities I'm part of. Reach Meanwhile my own art gets tucked away into a black hole on insta so I'd be lucky to get likes into the double digits. At the same time my follower count is getting lower and lower. Right now DeviantArt of all things, is giving me the best reach. Better, faster and apathetic I feel like my speed and quality is finally adequate for my standards but of course I'm looking to get better. I'm not sure how it got like that but as I was studying more and more AI

Another year and I'm still arting. I feel some things have changed since last year. I'm more focused on anime style (though I'm still not getting closer) Instead I have this crappy-ass 'style' that isn't anime at all. I know the style(s) that I want but try and study them as I might, it just doesn't work. I'm seeing more I'm generally plagued by blindness when it comes to my own art. I think something is pretty when it's trash to the rest of the world. Like one of those auditions where the guy/girl thinks they're a great singer but everyone except themselves know they can't sing. This blindness might slowly be going away. I sometimes see when I made bad stuff. I also more often see when people are clearly bullshitting me about my art being the things its not. Like commenting that it's 'clean' when it's very obviously sloppy. Bad advice I've become way more cynical - especially with people who keep on a fake front like they act wholesome but when in reality they don't give a

Time to reflect on how I did in the past year. So normally I'd grab my artgoals list and check up on how I've done, but I've discarded that approach for over a year now. Maybe I've become too cynical. I think if there's been a common thread in the past year it's learning that a lot of things people told me in my first years are not true. Maybe they're true for talented people like them but not for me. In the past year a lot of people have told me how to do art and I've tried following their advice only to discover that it doesn't work for me and I've wasted yet another month (or months) on it. Maybe it was a tailored thing that worked wonders for their style of learning or maybe I'm a failure or maybe the truth is in the middle. People will tell you that there's no wrong way to do art but that's a lie. There are many detours and I've either picked them myself or had people put me on those detours. My growth has not been without troubles and has left me confused a lot of times.