"P-permission to speak, Sire?"
"Granted. Now what's this about, Kamek?"
"Well, er, Sire, about those axes you installed in the eight castles..."
"Ah, yes. Reminders of the might of the Koopa Empire. Don't you agree, Kamek?"
"Well, yes, Sire, but er, there seems to be a small problem with where they're placed."
"Ah, you mean the bridges? Well, that's just part of my cunning plan!"
"Your... plan, Sire?"
"Yes, Kamek, my plan! When those two meddling plumbers get to one of the bridges, they'll see a minion disguised as me, right?"
"Well, yes, they shall."
"And they'll also see the axe at the end, right?"
"Er, yes. I still don't follow you, though."
"Well, they'll be so distracted with trying to get the axe at the end that my minion will be free to smite them where they stand! Brilliant, eh?"
"Er, yes, Sire, but what if they should reach the axe and use it to fell the bridge?"
"I've thought of that, too. My minions will move Peach to the next castle, where another minion will be guarding her."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"Then we'll take her to the next castle, then the castle after that, and so on."
"And if the plumbers should reach your castle, Sire?"
"Then I'll be waiting for them personally, in front of the last bridge. You see, they'll have been lured into a false sense of security by their prior victories, so it'll be a simple matter to destroy them while they're distracted by the axe! Am I a genius, or what?"
"Out with it, Kamek!"
"Y-yes, Sire, you are the greatest genius in history!"
"I know, Kamek, I know."
"Well, I'll be leaving you so that I can arrange the marriage."
"You're excused, Kamek. Soon, Peach will be mine, and the Mushroom Kingdom along with her! Not even a couple of pesky plumbers can stop me! Ha-ha-ha!"
"Kamek, why don't you tell me putting an axe at the end of a bridge was a bad idea?!"
"Frankly, Sire, you didn't ask to be told."
"Don't get smart with me, Kamek! It's a good thing I can survive molten lava, or I would have been toast--figuratively and literally!"
"Quite so, Sire. Shall I cancel the wedding arrangements now that the Princess has been rescued?"
"No, no. Let's bide our time. We'll lure the Mushroom Kingdom into a false sense of security, and when they least expect it - bam! We'll kidnap Peach again, and this time, nothing will keep me from being her husband?"
"And if the plumbers should try to stop you?"
"Well, I've got a new trick up my sleeve, see? I'll meet them in a room with a breakable floor, and when they least expect it - bam! I'll crush them into pulp!"
"Yes, but Sire, I think you'd be quite likely to fall through a breakable floor."
"Oh, please, like I'd be stupid enough to do that!"
"With all due respect, Sire, don't say I didn't warn you..."
"Well, Sire, I hate to say, 'I told you so', but -"
"Shut up, Kamek. Just shut up."