Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Professional Official Beta Tester Catherine FischerFemale/Canada Groups :iconwrittenexcellence: WrittenExcellence
Helping hone skills to shine!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
44 Month Core Membership
Statistics 1,797 Deviations 22,124 Comments 59,146 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Your name is signed
Inked in my blood, across my mind
My pulse, my air and bone and soul
You sing my veins;
You breathe me whole. 
I swear to you my strength and youth
A life of sweet and bitter truth
And every silver hair I earn
Every secret that I learn. 
Upon your altar I have lain
My verse and music, each refrain
My joy and suffering, my art
The close-writ pages of my heart. 
I yield my body, for to bear
Our passion, love — our union's heir
And every work of hand or voice
Every lesson, every choice.
And when at last I fail in breath
I give the hallow of my death
The light of every memory...
And afterward, eternity.
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 7 5
Death in the Dark
Adlyn was warm in Jack’s arms, the patchwork blankets pulled close around them, the solar lights dwindling as the batteries ran down. Outside the wagon, the wilderness chattered and creaked and moaned with the wind off the mountains, full of nothing and anything; Jack pulled her closer, a talisman against the dark and unknown. Adlyn smiled, settling her lithe form closer; she was still full of wonder at the newness of the love between them, still star-struck by his blue eyes. Having such a dreamboat as her first lover... she often pinched herself to make sure it was real, feeling strange and grown-up... but then she usually spat over her shoulder, fingers crossed, and laughed at herself for her childhood superstitions.
“How did you manage to survive on the streets, ever since you were six?” Jack murmured suddenly, his normally-voracious curiosity on fire for his first love, wanting to know everything about her. He shook his head; having had a nurturing and protected c
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 6 5
Wakening Summer
The robin's call the only sound
Tugging on the strings of dawn
Spring this year is almost gone
Dandelions all mown down
Mourning dove, heart aching
Calling in the gloaming light
A threnody for fading night
Blue horizon, dawn breaking
Song sparrow's lilting trill
Sweet grass scents the morning dew
Breath of wind that lifts anew
Spring's changes finally still
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 10 6
Growing like a weed, I remember
In childhood.
Now I stand in green grass with winter-pale feet
Dying like a tree returning to earth
By degrees,
Stepping down,
Disembodied, disconnected
From the cycle of living.
Around me: dandelions.
Profuse, ebullient
Is anything so unthinkingly alive
As these?
Children's voices rise and fall
On spring lawns all around me.
I chose barrenness. And here I am, solitary
My seeds to every quarter flown
Fallow, directionless, alone
Seeking sanctuary from the litany of storms
Howling in a springless heart.
I look down, seeking silence. I am
Surrounded by faces turned all together
To the sun.
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 12 6
Then at Last, Rain
Petrichor and psithurism
Soliloquy: a solipsism
Rewrites winter's palimpsest:
A threnody for season's rest.
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 9 7
Ides of March
Rete mirabila
Forest winter-flensed
Stark against
Dusted cirrus glaucous sky
Clotted dark of evergreen
Bitter wind, rheumy eye
Boot bottom mucky meltwater
Sloppy slurry in the gutter
Sullied snow disintegrates
With the rest of my emotional state
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 13 14
Artist by copper9lives Artist :iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 12 56 Turquoise pattern lariat by copper9lives Turquoise pattern lariat :iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 8 4 Peacock and tigereye set by copper9lives Peacock and tigereye set :iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 10 2 Copper and green turquoise set detail by copper9lives Copper and green turquoise set detail :iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 7 2 Wire-wrapped jasper set 2 by copper9lives Wire-wrapped jasper set 2 :iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 9 8 Eye of the tiger set 1 by copper9lives Eye of the tiger set 1 :iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 12 6 Green stone's dream set 3 by copper9lives Green stone's dream set 3 :iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 10 7
Fire without discipline burns
The djinn from the bottle
Leaving darkness and pain
In the aftermath of its bright blossom.
Pull the blanket of winter over me
Give me silence, cold, absence
I will heal.
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 15 3
James, he cries out in his sleep, for the third time this week. Who was James?

I watch pain and distress flow down the well-studied lines of his face, melting back into a waxen semblance of tranquility, the slow measured cadence of breath in deeper abysses of sleep. Time and near darkness play havoc with comprehension, I see motes of not-quite-anything, incoherent in the stuffy sleep-heavy stillness. Who was James?
Having admired Richard Lehman’s writing for so many years, it still feels unreal that we are seeing each other, sleeping together. But the tears that come unbidden, unheeded, the calling out — none of which he recalls in the light of day, nor does he explain, turning distant and laconic the one time I asked — give the nights an air of surrealism. Well, that and the dreams that always wait to ambush me, the moment my head touches his pillows. Repositories of lost ideas, leaked away in the night?
Three boys skateboarding on the si
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 14 15
Late Autumn
November's hoary, hollow bones are dry;
A hennaed rattlebag against the sky
Which blithely turns its fading face — 
Its cloudy eyes and aging grace — 
Behind a brittle veil of lace
Refusing to comply.
No scent of snow, no silvering of ice;
This fallow dithering begets a price:
Unseasonable hazel still
Must feed the Dark, the dying chill.
So let the blood of autumn spill...
December's sacrifice .
:iconcopper9lives:copper9lives 22 45


Karis and Elris by Faebelina Karis and Elris :iconfaebelina:Faebelina 186 10 Dread Wolf's Girl by Faebelina Dread Wolf's Girl :iconfaebelina:Faebelina 148 3 Sylvari Guardian by Faebelina Sylvari Guardian :iconfaebelina:Faebelina 249 8 Qunari Faeb by Faebelina Qunari Faeb :iconfaebelina:Faebelina 490 21 Kivaa (Lightforged Draenei) 2 by Faebelina Kivaa (Lightforged Draenei) 2 :iconfaebelina:Faebelina 707 20 The Tattoo by Faebelina The Tattoo :iconfaebelina:Faebelina 519 9 KivaaBallgown by Faebelina KivaaBallgown :iconfaebelina:Faebelina 373 11 the worst kind of trolls- rpg comic by travisJhanson the worst kind of trolls- rpg comic :icontravisjhanson:travisJhanson 392 74 Procreate Painting by GabrielleBrickey Procreate Painting :icongabriellebrickey:GabrielleBrickey 788 25 Buttons Balls FREESTUFF by AStoKo Buttons Balls FREESTUFF :iconastoko:AStoKo 46 0 Abstract texture hot lava STOCK by AStoKo Abstract texture hot lava STOCK :iconastoko:AStoKo 112 0 Barn owl 01 by AStoKo Barn owl 01 :iconastoko:AStoKo 330 27 CMYK Art Cafe by BillyNikoll CMYK Art Cafe :iconbillynikoll:BillyNikoll 109 81 Eventual...the golden oktober. by Phototubby Eventual...the golden oktober. :iconphototubby:Phototubby 188 11 Apathy by Sigfodr Apathy :iconsigfodr:Sigfodr 180 9 Autumnal memory. by Phototubby Autumnal memory. :iconphototubby:Phototubby 81 4


copper9lives has started a donation pool!
3,120 / 4,000
I use these points to help Deviants in need, and to aid the goals of the groups I'm an admin for! :heart:

You must be logged in to donate.

Quotemeal Cookies!

"He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence." 
         — William Blake

"I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.   
I learn by going where I have to go."
         — Theodore Roethke

"An adventure is just a really uncomfortable experience that makes for great retelling."
         — Catherine Fischer copper9lives

"Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.” 
― Dorothy Parker

“Living well is the best revenge.” 
― Dorothy Parker

“The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity.” 
― Dorothy Parker

"You’re only given a little spark of madness. Don’t lose it.”
— Robin Williams

"Life is poetry from the outside in;
Poetry is life from the inside out."
— Catherine Fischer copper9lives

"You aren't lost. Everyone else just thinks they know where they're going."


Mon Mar 19, 2018, 12:26 AM

So… apparently I am still more fragile than I might have hoped, this many years into the mental health odyssey. I don't deal well with bad news, especially as it pertains to my terrifying, obscure future. *Sigh.* I spent Friday night/Saturday morning — 12 hours — in the hospital.

I didn't lie; I told the truth about the likely source of my affliction, which saves everyone time and annoyance. (I've worked in medicine as a vet, so I have a personal appreciation of this.) I'd been stupid and was suffering for it — masticatory muscle dystonia, which is the incredibly uncomfortable clenching and twisting of the jaw muscles. It was three hours before I was looked at. And then I won access to a small beige room down an oppressively beige hallway, at the entrance of which a guard sat. My belongings were taken away "for safekeeping". Despite the pain, this was the worst part of it for me. It was frightening, I was not allowed to flee, and I'd forgotten my phone, so I was alone. I wanted my safe holt at home, under the covers with cats scattered across the comforter like wildflowers, breathing out comfort and contentment. Wanted it badly enough that I shook, and turned the lights out in the small room.

The rest of the beige corridor housed other occupants — extremely agitated and garrulous occupants. They shouted their litanies of wrongs done them, their frustrations, their distress, calling each other names. I stayed silent, and shook in the dark, my panic level rising hour by hour. A nurse came by with a pill that did, in fact, eventually alleviate my painful symptoms. She wouldn't tell me what it was. The guard came by and chatted — he was a pleasant human being, and tried his best to help the temporary inmates of the beige corridor, playing intermediary, fetching blankets and pillows and styrofoam cups of water or juice. Each time a nurse came by, she was someone I hadn't seen before… but they all wore identical expressions of "there, there, ducky. Just stay patient and do what you're told and it will all be okay." It was meant to be sympathetic, I know — after all, everyone has awful days. It was dehumanizing.

Finally, I was able to speak with the psych resident. He was calm, kind, had a gentle sense of humor, and was patient. He also was the first person who took the effort to explain to me what processes were underway with regard to my temporary stay, and followed through on his promises. I drove home dry-eyed and bleary in the sheeting pale light of midday, so tired I couldn't sleep when I got home and curled up with my cats.

Jonesymin was waiting for me. He'd fallen asleep watching a movie with me the night before (because storytelling fox is narcoleptic Wink/Razz ), and when he woke, it was to my message that I was heading for urgent care. He'd been awake and worried ever since (because storytelling fox is also a bit of a worrier... not that that's a bad thing, necessarily). But having my BFF there to comfort me and be comforted in turn… made it feel like I was finally home.

I have follow-up appointments, starting Tuesday. I think I'll hide in my holt until then, perhaps work on some unfinished projects so I can put away the materials. I'm considering spring cleaning, although with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. I wish, on Tuesday, that it won't be fear driving  me out of the house, but hope.

Journal created at

Stock images from

Crackle texture from ftourini

Journal History


Catherine Fischer
Artist | Professional | Varied
Fantasy and Science Fiction art fan, lover of literature, photography, travel, fine food and drink, corsetry, critters, and our wonderful world. I love exploring with a camera, making jewelry, cooking, writing poetry, and anything to do with the sea. My jewelry work is at — please check it out!


ID, Avatar, and Lit Tag Package!
Photomanipulations, abstract art, or what have you! :note: me!

RedAvatar by copper9lives Red Square by copper9lives RedLitTag by copper9lives

Caffeinated Bunny by copper9lives Bunny Icon with Border by copper9lives Caffeinated-Bunny Lit Tag by copper9lives
Custom Literature Author Tags!

Tired of that boring grey "Literature" tag on the margin of your written works? Yawn :snooze: 
Let me create something custom for you! All funds will go toward supergroup status for:


...Please come check out our raffles — great prizes!

PaperbackTag by copper9lives  JonesyTag by copper9lives  Halloween by copper9lives  Pongisit2 by copper9lives  Bunny3 by copper9lives  FranklesGreenApple by copper9lives  FranklesRedAppleLeaves by copper9lives  BlueBlueFoxRedo by copper9lives  PearDoodle2 by copper9lives  SeaMoon by copper9lives  FullMoonAurora by copper9lives  LostTag by copper9lives  SethFittsOwl by copper9lives  JonesyTag2 by copper9lives  AthenaBlackquillBlue by copper9lives  VestiaTallTree by copper9lives  LonelyxsonataTagCalisto by copper9lives  HeadmistressName by copper9lives  BBTagDunkleBrown3 by copper9lives  RoamingShadowMoon by copper9lives  StJohnsBridgeTag by copper9lives  EdgesTag by copper9lives  RosTag3 by copper9lives  Goldii by copper9lives  CorallineRats by copper9lives  WynniRainbowTag by copper9lives  Gothic Tag by copper9lives  Lichen Tag by copper9lives  GlowingTreeTag by copper9lives  Minnesota Sky Tag by copper9lives  JonesyTagSnowflake by copper9lives  Large Blue Sea by copper9lives  SeeThroughTag by copper9lives  FullOfStars by copper9lives  PinkandGold by copper9lives  GreenBrownSpots by copper9lives  ChocolateHearts by copper9lives  Dorian by copper9lives  DorianDMGreen by copper9lives  Psychedelic by copper9lives  GreenGlass by copper9lives  Motley by copper9lives  EdgeworkLace by copper9lives  Redeye by copper9lives  TurquoiseGlass by copper9lives  Pongisit2 by copper9lives  IshtarGate by copper9lives  SammurAmat by copper9lives   Andrea17 by copper9lives  Andrea16 by copper9lives  Andrea20 by copper9lives  Andrea4 by copper9lives  SunsetForest by copper9lives 


Hopelessly addicted to Jonesymin 's D&D campaign… the man is busting at the seams with STORY!
White Christmas. Piles of feathery snow. Juicy roast bird and all the trimmings. Sweet ice wine. Postprandial nap. Ahhhh.

Birthday Badge!

My birthday badge


Recluse by joeyv7 Recluse :iconjoeyv7:joeyv7 216 101 Ahornboden 2 by batmantoo Ahornboden 2 :iconbatmantoo:batmantoo 335 72 The splendour spreads before you by LordLJCornellPhotos The splendour spreads before you :iconlordljcornellphotos:LordLJCornellPhotos 299 95 Fraenzchen by Fiorina-Artworks Fraenzchen :iconfiorina-artworks:Fiorina-Artworks 189 21 An awe-inspiring moment by LordLJCornellPhotos An awe-inspiring moment :iconlordljcornellphotos:LordLJCornellPhotos 415 157 Hand crafted by nature by LordLJCornellPhotos Hand crafted by nature :iconlordljcornellphotos:LordLJCornellPhotos 118 68 Negative Octopus by sarahredhead Negative Octopus :iconsarahredhead:sarahredhead 699 45 He Gave Me The Brightest Star by borda He Gave Me The Brightest Star :iconborda:borda 6,344 318
So many artists, so little budget!


Add a Comment:
SawuScimitar74 Featured By Owner May 10, 2018
Happy late Birthday! Hope it was a good one! :D
SawuScimitar74 Featured By Owner May 10, 2018
Happy late Birthday! Hope it was a good one! :D
Metal-Bender Featured By Owner May 7, 2018   Photographer

:iconhappybirthdaycakeplz::icondancingcatplz::iconhappybirthdaysignplz:Happy Birthday Catherine!!:party::iconfuncakeplz::icongiftplz::iconbdayfireworks1plz::iconbdayfireworks2plz:

ripond Featured By Owner May 7, 2018   Writer
Happy birthday!!! Party Have your cake and eat it too 
JawaBoxerEOD Featured By Owner May 7, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday!
HearseGurl Featured By Owner May 7, 2018   Photographer
Happy Birthday Fellow Deviant! :iconspinningcakeplz:
birthdays Featured By Owner May 7, 2018
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's May 7th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner May 7, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happya2 by Alimera

Darling girl, I hope you have a blessed day filled with happiness. :heart:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner May 7, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday lovely!
saperlipop Featured By Owner May 7, 2018

Wishing you a very happy birthday, Catherine! :heart:

Add a Comment: