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Literature
All I Want For Christmas
Oh, all I want for Christmas is a smaller set of breasts:
Forget about the candy canes, the eggnog and the rest.
Hey Santa, if you're listening then let me really stress,
I mean it when I say I need to 'get this off my chest'!!!
I 'member how I used to play in mother's cast-off clothes;
The evening dress, the high heels and the baggy pantyhose.
I'd stuff my top with kleenex 'til the bodice hit my nose:
Gee, whoda thunk I'd end up with a pair bigger than those?!?!?!
When older, I tried basketball but I'd just end up sore.
I'd bounce the ball across the court but both my breasts bounced more!
And golf was just a waste of time-I seldom had a score:
My boobs just checked my swing before I even could yell 'Fore!'
Now, I can hear you laughing but you really have no clue,
Just what it's like to jump rope and end up all black and blue!
I'd wear the tightest bra I could, but what's a girl to do?
No matter how I'd bind 'em they just grew and grew and GREW.
Yes, Dolly with her triple D's does rea
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--E-Con-- Jedi by di0xygen --E-Con-- Jedi :icondi0xygen:di0xygen 317 162 Tickle Emote --Contest Entry by mattdanna Tickle Emote --Contest Entry :iconmattdanna:mattdanna 244 68 Happy by Zenhead Happy :iconzenhead:Zenhead 319 125 Emoticon bike by clairebearer Emoticon bike :iconclairebearer:clairebearer 76 12 :remoticon: by darkmoon3636 :remoticon: :icondarkmoon3636:darkmoon3636 380 153 Spider by Lina01 Spider :iconlina01:Lina01 62 36 Lizard Emote by dragon12321 Lizard Emote :icondragon12321:dragon12321 47 33 Gay Pride 2004 San Francisco by illufox Gay Pride 2004 San Francisco :iconillufox:illufox 34 15 'Jump Off a Cliff' Emoticon by neek-zique 'Jump Off a Cliff' Emoticon :iconneek-zique:neek-zique 52 35 Happy Cthulhu by Daemonworks Happy Cthulhu :icondaemonworks:Daemonworks 21 28 :mario: by unloveable :mario: :iconunloveable:unloveable 9 9 Fire Rose with flames by AshLDragon Fire Rose with flames :iconashldragon:AshLDragon 10 5 SHUT THE FUCK UP by Fast-Bear SHUT THE FUCK UP :iconfast-bear:Fast-Bear 393 149 Awkward Glory by coffee-lin Awkward Glory :iconcoffee-lin:coffee-lin 93 71
Literature
Reindeer Pause
[Santa's Workshop, the North Pole.  It is Christmas Eve, and the warm glow of the shop illuminates the gently falling snow outside.  Stillness hangs in the air, but also the weight of expectation; of joys soon to come.  Any time now, the elves will walk out to the nearby barn and hook the reindeer to Santa's sleigh, where they will perform the time-honored duty of delivering to every good chil--]
BLITZEN:  Augh, screw it! Screw Christmas in its cute little button-nosed face! (paws angrily at the warm earth of his stable)
PRANCER:  Now, now dear.  You know these outbursts don't do you any good.
BLITZEN:  Out of my business, Prancer! You know it just gets worse every year!
CUPID:  (peers out from the top of her stable) Is old Blitzkrieg firing his guns again?
PRANCER:  No, Cupid. And if he were, you wouldn't be helping right now.
CUPID:  Uh-huh. (shouts over)  C'mon, Blitzen—cheer up! It'll all be over before you know it!
BLITZEN:  That's exactly it!  We do this job for one night every y
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Monty Python Emoticon by DoOm-Wolf Monty Python Emoticon :icondoom-wolf:DoOm-Wolf 324 48 :shaolin: by Majnouna :shaolin: :iconmajnouna:Majnouna 45 54 Free at last. by cedrus Free at last. :iconcedrus:cedrus 8 16 Phantom's Mask by doodleplex Phantom's Mask :icondoodleplex:doodleplex 88 21 -Emoticon Contest entry- :3 by digistardbz -Emoticon Contest entry- :3 :icondigistardbz:digistardbz 66 10 Alone in Subway by 43sunsets Alone in Subway :icon43sunsets:43sunsets 39 14