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Literature
All I Want For Christmas
Oh, all I want for Christmas is a smaller set of breasts:
Forget about the candy canes, the eggnog and the rest.
Hey Santa, if you're listening then let me really stress,
I mean it when I say I need to 'get this off my chest'!!!
I 'member how I used to play in mother's cast-off clothes;
The evening dress, the high heels and the baggy pantyhose.
I'd stuff my top with kleenex 'til the bodice hit my nose:
Gee, whoda thunk I'd end up with a pair bigger than those?!?!?!
When older, I tried basketball but I'd just end up sore.
I'd bounce the ball across the court but both my breasts bounced more!
And golf was just a waste of time-I seldom had a score:
My boobs just checked my swing before I even could yell 'Fore!'
Now, I can hear you laughing but you really have no clue,
Just what it's like to jump rope and end up all black and blue!
I'd wear the tightest bra I could, but what's a girl to do?
No matter how I'd bind 'em they just grew and grew and GREW.
Yes, Dolly with her triple D's does rea
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Literature
Reindeer Pause
[Santa's Workshop, the North Pole.††It is Christmas Eve, and the warm glow of the shop illuminates the gently falling snow outside.††Stillness hangs in the air, but also the weight of expectation; of joys soon to come.††Any time now, the elves will walk out to the nearby barn and hook the reindeer to Santa's sleigh, where they will perform the time-honored duty of delivering to every good chil--]
BLITZEN:††Augh, screw it! Screw Christmas in its cute little button-nosed face! (paws angrily at the warm earth of his stable)
PRANCER:††Now, now dear.††You know these outbursts don't do you any good.
BLITZEN:††Out of my business, Prancer! You know it just gets worse every year!
CUPID:††(peers out from the top of her stable) Is old Blitzkrieg firing his guns again?
PRANCER:††No, Cupid. And if he were, you wouldn't be helping right now.
CUPID:††Uh-huh. (shouts over)††C'mon, Blitzenócheer up! It'll all be over before you know it!
BLITZEN:††That's exactly it!††We do this job for one night every y
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Monty Python Emoticon by DoOm-Wolf Monty Python Emoticon :icondoom-wolf:DoOm-Wolf 323 48 :shaolin: by Majnouna :shaolin: :iconmajnouna:Majnouna 45 54 Free at last. by cedrus Free at last. :iconcedrus:cedrus 8 16