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Well, I basically HAVE to, because something upsetting happened this morning. This has me more than concerned about my own future.

I've been repeatedly been putting aside goals in real life that I should have focused on in the first place. Several things are a cause of this, but it is mostly my own fault for things having gone this way.

In order to be able to get my life together again, and to be able to take on everyday tasks, I have to force myself to literally stay away from my own computer. This also includes putting aside my current projects, and in worst case maybe even cancel them altogether.

So for about a week or longer I will be going offline. When I will be coming back I don't know. Maybe not in a very long time even.

Anyway... see you whenever I may be able to return...

For the new Nintendo 64 homebrew development libraries and tools basically. Even though there's been small public updates to the libdragon toolchain, it's still not enough for it to be that much useful for more serious software development.

As for my adventures in programming Nintendo 64 homebrew, I'm still doing experiments every now and then, my latest attempt being to add .ogg playback support using libogg. I'll use it mainly for playing speech clips with, just like Conker uses MP3 for speech playback. I've got a couple speech clips from Conker's Bad Fur Day and Crash Twinsanity to test it with.

While I've got the libogg library to compile with the ROM, I can't seem to play back a .ogg sample; the ROM just hangs whenever a sample are about to play. I might be doing it wrong somewhere, but I can't figure out where and how to solve this.

As for that homebrew game I mentioned back in may 2017, I decided it just wasn't worth my time to make, and the rather limited nature of libdragon forced me to not pursue it any further.

One day I may migrate to n64chain for certain benefits like multithreading and using the RSP, but not until the needed updates have been made to that toolchain.

Aside from that, I've got more pics coming. Apparantly I have done alot of art in the past year, and as of recently I've drawn even more stuff which I will be lining and coloring. So much to do and yet so little time for it due to other things taking up my time or distracting me...

Well, I've been doing some videos on my youtube channel in recent times where I play games I've made, providing text-based commentary regarding my thoughts or opinions about certain elements in them, and what got cut or changed during development.

Well, I'm now planning on doing more of those. As for the next game I'll be doing, that would have to be Kazooa's Bad Strange Day. That particular game project of mine had a bit of a strange development period, and along with the last build and earlier prototypes of it, I think making videos of these could provide some more insight on all the ideas I originally had on mind for it, and also help me remember things I've kinda forgotten about by now.

Right now though I just uploaded an re-made video of demo 0.8 of Kazooa in The Treasure Land: 
There's loads of differences in it compared to later and final versions, and so far this is one of the only few builds of the game that makes me feel nolstagic for some reason.

As for anything else, I'm gonna start upload more of my usual drawings by now. Kinda missed doing that really...

  • Watching: GameHut (Jon Burton) videos on Youtube
Yep, I've just started uploading pictures of stuff I did for most of my past game maker games. This mainly includes 3D models and concept artwork, all showing various ideas I had on mind for my games.

I've also found a few models that are slightly different to the ones that eventually got used. So far the only model I found to be different to its final version are mostly a texture difference, the rest of the other models are mainly work-in-progress versions of the final models.

I will still be uploading the art I usually do, but I thought I do this alongside uploading renders of my 3D models and concept art. My concept artwork may not exactly look like concept art, but they are none the less showing ideas that I was thinking of at the time.

  • Watching: GameHut (Jon Burton) videos on Youtube
It's been a fairly long time since I've really done anything with this account, and with no other places to head for, and pretty much due to the fact that Tumblr seems pretty deserted from at least my side, I'm considering returning again.

In fact, I've been doing much artwork over the past year, and I might start posting some art here soon. Do note that I've reshaped my focus quite alot since last year, so I won't be doing much in any way of "fetish" oriented GTS art like I did back then. My newest submissions will mostly be (somewhat) normal artworks, as well as GTS art that's more or less suitable for all audiences. I might even post some stuff I did for my past game projects, like picture renders of 3D models, and concept artwork for games or ideas that made it, or never got pursued any further.

Only thing I'm a bit sick of seeing on this account is my old username. I wish there were some sort of option for users to let them change their username(s) once at their own will, but the way the current system of changing your name is like really deters me from even bothering. I don't really have the cash to do so, and even if I did it would all go towards bills and other RL neccessities.

Either way, I hope you guys are having a great day or night, and I really hope to upload some new stuff soon.

  • Watching: GameHut (Jon Burton) videos on Youtube
Well, where to start... as some of you may know I've been gone for quite some time now, the intention being to leave the site behind me while looking for different places to go to.

Anyhow, after learning of a certain new user here of suspicious nature, I now see the difficulty of choosing either side returning to me again. I really don't feel good about this to be honest. One part of me wants to go for the Inkbunny community while the other part of me wants me to start up a new account here.

If I do choose to start a new account on this site, I will be deciding which of my older art will be reposted again, while all the other ones on this account will simply either be left as is, or put into the vault. Reason for this is I want to make major changes to my approach and focus when it comes to certain subjects, and there are a number of things on this account that I no longer feel too proud over to be known for. Moreover, the "ConkerGuru" I've been increasingly feeling to be quite misleading, because my focus has changed since the day I first joined.

Anyway, I haven't yet decided on the matter, and it could take me a long time to come to a decision.

And that's all for now. Hope you're all having a good day, or whatever.

(Edit: turns out it was just someone who wanted a picture to be removed from my Conker website. I feel awful now for even thinking he was some kind of suspicious type...)
  • Watching: Goofy (Everyman years)
  • Playing: Ristar (Sega Game Gear)
This isn't me returning to da, but more a message just to try to clear some things up, because I feel there must be something I wrote that had likely been misunderstood badly.

1. When I said I was going to leave this place, I didn't mean it like I was going to dump one of my friends that I've known since the old days of school. I basically meant that I felt the time had come for me to leave this place, because... for quite a long time, I have been trying to leave, but always found myself coming back, like being attracted to the place like a magnet or sponge. I guess it's just the fact that I've been so much used to being here, and it has been very difficult for me to pull this movement off.

2. I once said earlier that if I were to leave deviantart, I would be missing "Hanachronicler and his wonderful, mostly SFW art". I guess I was being too vague about it, and one of my friends likely read too far into it and assumed I didn't mind him at all or that I favored that other artist more than him. I really regret writing it like that, and I wish I could have formulated it better. Ah well, done is done, and there's nothing much I can do about that now.

Anyway, I'm not gonna go any further or deeper from here on. Right now, I'll just take myself a seat and let all my emotions out...

(might delete this journal later at any point, if any issues should arise from this thing even being here.)
Just as the title says basically.

Well, reason is because I've been doing quite a number of things outside of the internet as of late. And in the middle of it I also got sick(running nose and so on), so I haven't been able to draw as much as I'd like to, nor even return here.

It has gone almost two months since that thing happened, and during that time I've been uploading pic after pic, waiting for those users that told me to "Stop!" to comment on any of my later pics. So far I haven't heard anything from them again, but I still worry that one of them may take notice of my newest stuff again in the future, even if it may not be entirely fetish-related (which I'm constantly trying to back away from by now).

Anyhow, moving on from that. I've also done a fair bit of homebrew programming for the nintendo 64 as of late. However, the ambitions for my project has evolved into more than just a simple homebrew app or demo, and I now wanna make a full game for the N64. It isn't anything big though, just a horizontal scrolling shooter similar to Air Zonk for the Turbografx/Pc-Engine, what with its open playfield without any terrain to fly through, and the cartoonish graphics.

I can't fully say anything about it for now, other than the fact that programming for the Nintendo 64 is an absolute hell hole, and I also have to take the console's limitations into account when developing this project of mine.

One thing I'm considering to help improve performance is to try implement a basic music playback library(.midi or .mus would be the only supported format, with a instrument soundbank loaded to a static place in RAM on boot), and a way to play raw sound effects. libmikmod is a bit of a drain on the resources right now, mainly because libdragon(the main library I use to develop this game with) does not support multi-threading. Either way, I'll see if I can figure out ways to make my project perform more efficiently on the N64 (and somehow lock the framerate to 25/30 fps).

Moving on... I got a couple more drawings to start working on by now, and the stories that I said I would do but just haven't found the time for.

And with that... au revoir!
  • Watching: Calimero (1992 series)
  • Playing: Games of my interest
I just had to vent it all out because I could no longer bottle up my emotions over what those two female users said. I will continue to draw. Drawing is something I really want to do, and I shall keep striving for it.

So, with last day's journal out of my way, I'd just like to announce that the wario GTS story I hinted at doing will be pushed aside for the time being, since I have instead decided to start writing the plot for a GTS story based on the Kerokko Demetan anime (Demetan Croaker in english), featuring Ranatan as the giantess. My reason for doing this is because... my mood is pretty much low after what has been going on here recently, and I need to focus on something that is more on the serious side of things.

After I've uploaded my next coming Priscilla GTS drawing I will go back to writing on my upcoming stories. As for how I will handle the writing on this new story of mine, I intend to work on it alongside my two new Calimero GTS stories. Compared to my other stories though, the one based on the Demetan anime will likely not be for the faint of heart, and will also not utilize any kind of comedy.
  • Watching: Calimero (1992 series)
Looks like I finally reached the point where I simply can't accept hearing from some users(mostly females that aren't into the thing I or others are, and the ones who did comment on my drawings I won't be naming) that I should quit something just because of a simple drawing they don't like. I'm basically referring to this one:…).

Looking at it again, yes it does seem a bit risqué, but to me it just had to come out. I've done this type of drawing once now, and now... I won't do it again.

My creative mindset usually works like this; once I've done a certain type of drawing, I tend to focus on the next piece I'm going to draw, and never look back on my older works again unless I feel a need to redo it or simply reflect on what I did back then that I won't be doing now. Exceptions might occur, but this is usually rare.

Indeed, I did worry that one day someone would pop up and have their say about the art I do(or did). I figured it would take months or even years. After a few years it has finally happened. They didn't comment on any of the earlier pics I did years ago, but instead choose to lay their comments on the most recent one, telling me two very simple words; "QUIT IT!". Of course it wasn't those exact words, but my mind translated them like that.

Anyway, the ironic fact is that my output of any suggestive drawings has been rather sparse recently, and before I even made that drawing I have already been intentionally resisting the temptation of ever attempting that sort of stuff again.

I know I probably should just drop this issue and carry on with my stuff, but hearing this straight from those users really made me take their complaints to heart, and it reminded me of what I really should be doing; to make giantess art that is a bit more clean and safe to the general public. It almost felt like I was being stung in the arm by a ill-tempered wasp.

Alright then. With that out of my way, I will be going back to making clean and friendly giantess drawings. I hope this journal entry has made it clear that I'm not one of those crazy fetishists that does the same thing repeatedly over and over again. Sure, a mistake have been made, and I hope to not repeat this move again.
  • Watching: Calimero (1992 series)
Like the title says, the Mickey Mouse GTS story I mentioned last year in august that I would be writing on is now done, and I will be posting it in a moment. It took quite a few months to really finish, but it was worth the struggle.

Now that it has been finished, I will start writing on more Calimero GTS stories. Maybe I'll even make one of the other females from the 1992 anime into a GTS in one of those stories. (I'm already considering such choices by the way).

That is all. Haven't got anything more to add here.
Well, to start it off. I read at someplace about certain common interests that are considered by many to be fetisches, feet and vore being some of them. Those I can kinda agree on, but the latter I usually don't bother thinking about, because that one doesn't lie within my interests.

However, the one thing that concerns me is that the giantess/GTS may or may not be errorneously included within this so called "fetisches list". I've recently been trying to migrate myself over to the non-fetisch side of the giantess/GTS/Macrophilia category, due to recent thoughts from my side that I've been almost unknowingly re-contributing to the side that I was almost about to stop focusing on a few years ago until it took a wrong turn(the fetisch side, that is).

I don't think anyone would believe me on this, but people have to remember and know that GTS/Giantess hasn't always been a fetisch early on. Sure, I'm aware it might have grown into a fetisch in recent years, but I don't think this was the case years or even several decades ago. I hope everyone's view on it(especially girls/women who usually aren't into it) could eventually change and not see it as something weird or disgusting. Giant girls can be caring and friendly too. That is why I'm attempting to shy myself away from all the fetish-related stuff, and just focus on the clean side of things.

It might seem like I'm ranting, but I'am not. I'm just bringing up a detail that I thought about doing a few years back, that is all really. Everyone will have their own view of things, and I'll respect that.

Still on the subject of giantess, I'm currently writing on a Calimero GTS story. Since my third Mickey Mouse GTS story had been put on hold I thought about writing on something else to rebuild my energy and motivation, and Calimero seems to be a push in the right direction for me.

The settings of this Calimero GTS story(and subsequent ones) will be based on the 1992 anime, and I intend to follow it as closely as possibly as far as character personalities and series settings go.

I got the first half of it written already, and it features Calimero and Priscilla as the main characters. Other characters will be having some form of minor role in the story as well.

Either way, that is all. And having said it, I'm now out of here for the time being, because I need to finish writing on the story.
Apart from the fact that I've been pretty much idle as of late. But I won't bore you all with the details.

Tonight however, I will start uploading all the new art I've made so far(including a couple ones that I forgot to upload earlier.). After that's done I will likely disappear from here again.

Don't think I'll ever be around much here from now on. My interest for this place has pretty much sunk, and my internet-friend(who I'll refer to as just "She"... for reasons I'll never allow myself to share here) will likely never return here as well, so I'll also be jumping ship.

And that's everything I have to bring to the table. As a little sidenote, an user I'm privately watching his artworks of, big-isabella-fan, is also jumping ship now it seems, and he's likely going to shut down his account in feb. Not that it bothers me though, seeing the new direction deviantart is currently heading in. My account however will remain like stated earlier. I've got no intention of shutting it down, but I will put a few old pics of mine into the vault before leaving again, because I'm not very fond of them these days, and they basically give me bad vibes when I look back at them(will have to re-figure it out though, because dA seems to have changed things around again)
Well, it seems that I'm now officially done with making Lazy Lucy GTS pics. But it doesn't mean that I'll stop with that entirely, it just means that there will be far less of that ware as of now.

To make up for it though, I've been taking myself on the task to make Mickey Mouse GTS drawings, Minnie being the main focus. Unlike my giantess drawings of Lazy Lucy, I will be attempting to make these new drawings more varied, meaning that there will be all sorts of GTS scenes showing up in my newer drawings.(no vore, gore, or anything else like that though. I'm trying to avoid all that.)

Speaking of "all sorts of GTS Scenes", do I sense Maestro Minnie being given the GTS/Macro treatment as well? Very likely I'd say!

  • Playing: Mickey Mania (Sega Genesis)
Decided to delete more journals now. I also changed my avatar and removed some stuff in my profile info widget... in preparation for my big change in focus that is soon to come. Don't ask me what that is though, I'm keeping it secret for now.
  • Watching: Minnie Takes Care of Pluto(Mickey Mouse Works)
  • Playing: Mickey Mania (Sega Genesis)
I decided to delete half of my earlier journals, because I felt I didn't want them to be there anymore. Just saying incase you all wonder where they've gone to.
  • Watching: Minnie Takes Care of Pluto(Mickey Mouse Works)
  • Playing: Mickey Mania (Sega Genesis)
And basically leave this site. So to make things easier for myself, I'll just quote the below text from my latest drawing:

I've been thinking long and hard about it, and it has been an very difficult decision for me since last year; leaving the deviantART community and seek for a better future elsewhere.

After over a year of thinking and thoughts on the matter, I've finally come to make up my mind. I'm going to leave dA now, for real this time around! I no longer feel like I have any reason to be here anymore. Furthermore, I can't say I've really enjoyed staying around in this community in recent times.

At this point in my life I feel that my job here is now done, and I really want to frequent tumblr more than I usually do. And keeping myself to this place is no longer doing my mind any good. I'd like to see and discover new places and such, so from this point on I'm afraid I have to part ways with this community.

It sure has been great being around here, and also making a few new friends along the road(even if I really didn't speak that much to them), but now my time here is over. Don't fret though, I might upload a new image or two whenever I can be bothered to(if it's anything that I deem worthy to be posted, that is.). But don't expect me to come back for a very long time though.

I have one last drawing to finish though, so you can expect to see me one last time the coming day tomorrow. After that drawing is done though, I will be leaving, and it could take a pretty long time before I return again, if ever.

And, I believe this is all.

  • Listening to: World of Illusion Starring Mickey & Donald VGM rip
  • Playing: Conker's Bad Fur Day
So, what have I been up to recently(apart from posting art and some rather bad things going on as of late)? Well, to be honest I've been at most idle. Thinking about my future interests and so on. I've also been playing alot with my Conker hacks on my Everdrive 64 cart that I got just last month.

To try to sum it up, I'm still intending to move away from here. It just hasn't fully kicked off yet, due to that I still can't seem to part ways with this community. So what I said last year was true; Saying goodbye IS really, really difficult.

I will be out of here soonish enough though. Just got a couple more pics left to do and post here. After that I will simply leave(not without any mention though). And like I said earlier, I might be returning someday, incase I have a drawing or two that I feel are worthy to be uploaded here.

Regarding my Tiny Toons project; unfortunately I've encountered a rather discouraging issue with push-off collisions between the player and the enemies, and it's the sole reason for the delay of the newest demonstration build. So far I haven't found any decent solutions to this bug, and in the worst case I might have to force myself to remove push-off collisions from the game altogether just to prevent the problems from happening during gameplay.

But that's not gonna stop me from finishing this project though. I might be able to find a way to solve the push-off stuff. HOW I don't know, but in some way I think it could be dealt with.

That is all for now.

  • Listening to: World of Illusion Starring Mickey & Donald VGM rip
  • Playing: Conker's Bad Fur Day
Been a fair while since I last spoke on the Tiny Toons game project that I'm making, and.. It's been coming together pretty nicely, more so than I at first thought. I expected it all to just fall apart as it carried on, but I were wrong. By now I've got all the character and object sprites ripped(minus some alternate palettes that I apparantly missed), the level layouts are all set up, and from this point on I'm gonna start implementing all the enemies. The REAL development on this project has now finally begun.

I don't have anything to actually show right now, since I'll be making the changes and additions to the game that I feel neccessary before I'll release a somewhat presentable demonstration build. What I can say though is that the partner characters are now playable to an extent(minus Elmyra and the other characters planned to be included in the game). The concept of playing as the other characters are still a work in progress, mainly because the needed animations are not yet ready, and they all use Buster's player code as placeholder until their custom sprites have been made.

I'm planning on getting the sprites of Buster and co uploaded here for you all to see by tomorrow(just straight after I uploaded a new drawing basically). I spent a fair amount of time ripping them all from Tiny Toon Adv. Buster's Bad Dream(GBA), and I bet that many of them(including any unused frames) aren't even on the Spriters Resource yet.

So, in short, the project has really started to come a long way since its initial birth, and only within over a years time. Even so, I might have to change or even replace some things, like the original Partner Select screen due to the expansion of the playable and partner characters rooster. But I think I'll be able to sort it all out somehow.

To most of you guys this may not come out as important, but I just finished off on writing my "Wario Show" idea today, for real this time!... which means I'm now gonna put it down and try to take some time off and just... you know, relax and enjoy things in life.

Anyway, now with the Wario Show out of my way, I'll be thinking about the things I've been wanting to pursue and bring to life for some time, but never had the chance to due to that episodic Wario story always lurking in the back of my mind. But now that it is no longer a worry of mine, I'll have the chance to calm my mind down and just be myself for now.

So, when my creative mind is ready again. What sort of new stuff would I think about doing? Possibly concept arts for some of my own ideas maybe. Or a giantess-themed drawing or two? Who knows. Right now though, I just need to sit back and not think about too much.

Besides the above, I've been having pretty low self-confidence as of late. But I'll be working on trying to boost my confidence up this year, and the fact that I no longer have to write on something I no longer feel much for might make things even easier for me.

Here's hoping for a even better year, and that I can be more artistically creative this year around.