Concavenator

(CW: large-scale violence and death, general cynicism) First of all, congratulations on your promotion; I hope you've had time to celebrate already, because old Omar is going to rain on your parade right now. If you're reading these words, it means that I'm dead. Hopefully I've died a hero's death in the war against the Maggots and not by slipping in the shower. (Or, it means that you've opened this envelope without authorization, in which case enjoy your next six decades in a high security prison, I guess.) I feel I've got a pretty good idea who you are. No, I'm not telling who; would be pretty discouraging if I got it wrong, eh? But I know you're from the Security Board, and everyone there is good people, strong and honest and willing to do what must be done. True defenders of humankind – brings tears to my eyes, no, honestly, it really does. I'm going to do the worst thing I possibly can: I'm going to destroy any sense of mystery or wonder about the damn things. I