ComradeShook

So i'm alive again. The past couple of months have been immensely stressful, because my easter break was mostly taken up by preparations for a re-exam (called in sick for first try because of panic attacks, failed second try, passed third one), so out of the 10 days i got maybe 2 days of relaxation. Then that was over, and i needed a holiday, but WELP, that was not to be the case, because the holiday was over and next up was exam project, which spanned over a whole month. I got in a really good group, thankfully, and two days ago, two of us passed with flying colours (third one was unfortunately prevented from participating in this exam, so she takes a re-exam during summer), so now i can finally begin recovering from all the built up stress.

Not gonna lie, it's been a rough fucking time in the last days up to exam, i felt like i was about to go insane more than once, my birthday was fucked up by a panic attack, my anxiety has been at its highest since i started on this education, and generally i've been feeling ill and beside myself. Lots of nausea, lots of stomachache, days without appetite, the kind of stuff you'd expect from IBS getting aggravated by high stress levels. Most days i haven't been feeling like drawing anything, some days not even gaming, because i've been so tired and stressed. It's been BAD.

That's all over now. I finally have a long-ass holiday. We passed the exam with gusto. Rarely ever have i been so relieved. My stress level has already dropped so much that nausea barely tickles my anxiety (consider that i'm a hypochondriac with some level of emetophobia). It has dropped so much that i can finally see how bad i've been feeling before. I can think and draw again without risking nausea and anxiety. Whew. Might still be a while before i get back in full gear, though.

Have to admit though, i'm a bit proud of myself for handling panic attacks even in that miserable state of being. :V